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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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CJs_mum just rambling here: depression and frustration (and a trigger warning!)
  • replies: 7

hi just going over (and over and over) old stuff here I know...and all I have has been written about already, but I still can't seem to work, move, be a part of the world, focus, feel, try. There have been some brilliant posts about how to overcome t... View more

hi just going over (and over and over) old stuff here I know...and all I have has been written about already, but I still can't seem to work, move, be a part of the world, focus, feel, try. There have been some brilliant posts about how to overcome that feeling of "nothingness", having a bad day or just feeling like there's something missing in your heart and finding something to fill it. I thank you all for posting up the initial question or feeling - very brave of you - and to all those who replied with helpful tips or how you feel too/your agreement - you guys rock!.... But.... I'm going to be "Norbert the Negative" here and say what if even THEN you can't get up and move - do something or feel anything at all? What if you've tried everything and just blah - you just feel blank all the time anyway? I mean ALL the time. Not just "having a bad day" or being a little down for a couple of days, i mean 24/7 every day of the year. Ok sometimes i feel a bit happy, sometimes I even show that, but mostly inside, i have no feelings at all. There's just nothing. Background here - forgive me for rambling and making NO sense....i haven't been able to be all that amicable with others, communicate clearly and with well-thought out answers, think straight or even be comprehensible for a while now: I'm not on drugs (meds, nor that illegal shite)! I do sleep, but lately that sleep is all over the place and tonight I've had none at all. That's kinda normal for me - mainly due to the points above and below. Relationships: I have an amazing, wonderful, laid-back, easy going, patient and very supportive boyfriend. He's amazing....but i hate to say this, I don't feel anything for him. It's not that I don't love him! I do, well, i think i do. I really appreciate him, for sure! He's like no one I've ever met! He's so good to me, treats me beautifully, the way I've always wished I could be treated....So why am I not happy? Its frustrating. I don't feel something - I don't feel the way he shows me love. It's weird. I never used to be like this. I would give my heart 100% to those around me and was abused for it, now I'm being treated well, I just cant give even 1% - or it seems to me that way. To be continued...

Artistaffame I dont know who I am
  • replies: 3

A bit of a back story. I came from a dysfunctional family. At 11 my dad left and around that time I became my mums fulltime carer. She had a baby a few years later and I quit school and started raising him while taking care of her. I took care of her... View more

A bit of a back story. I came from a dysfunctional family. At 11 my dad left and around that time I became my mums fulltime carer. She had a baby a few years later and I quit school and started raising him while taking care of her. I took care of her for 23 years and he's now a 21 yo. She passed away last year and I've since been diagnosed with depression anxiety and PTSD. Today after getting into an argument with my brother (he was angry at me) I realized I have no idea of who I really am. I dont know what I like or what I pretend to like. I always seem to go along with whatever other people are saying. I never disagree with anyone because I dont want them to hate me. I know the relationship with my mum was codependent i would never get mad at her in case she got mad or it caused an arguement. I also act different and my likes chsnge depending who im with. Im so confused right now

Gatherer Overwhelmed
  • replies: 4

I am a mum of 4, with a husband who hasn't worked for 10 years due to mental illness. i recently lost my well paying job. i have depression, badly managed diabetes 2, unfit, poor diet, poor sleep, on heaps of medication for thyroid, diabetes, depress... View more

I am a mum of 4, with a husband who hasn't worked for 10 years due to mental illness. i recently lost my well paying job. i have depression, badly managed diabetes 2, unfit, poor diet, poor sleep, on heaps of medication for thyroid, diabetes, depression, cholesterol, triglycerides, migraines. feeling really hopeless and struggling with motivation.

interloper Sehnsucht: An Epiphany
  • replies: 5

I've been doing a lot of reading trying to find a placeholder for how I feel. I came across a reference to 'sehnsucht'. This post is for those who haven't come across it before. It is a German word for an emotion that we don't have a direct translati... View more

I've been doing a lot of reading trying to find a placeholder for how I feel. I came across a reference to 'sehnsucht'. This post is for those who haven't come across it before. It is a German word for an emotion that we don't have a direct translation for in English. It fits me perfectly. It is loosely defined as 'longing', but it is much more than this. I found a paper that defined it with six characteristics. 1. Utopian conceptions and striving for an 'ideal life' 2. A sense of being incomplete 3. It transverses the past, present and future 4. It is bittersweet in nature, and can drive you in good and bad ways 5. Promotes reflection on one's life 6. Closely connected with symbolism It shares some symptoms with depression. You are not happy. You see flaws in yourself that originated in the past and the impacts of them will extend into the future. You can oscillate between being energetic (sub-manic in my case I think) and deeply down. You reflect on life and its value. But it is different. It is grounded in a positive origin: to seek a life that is a personal utopia, strive for excellence, or chase dreams. It is the nature of this reality that causes people experiencing sehnsucht to feel excited and energetic when their goals become closer but bitterly despondent when they realise that they will never reach it because it is impossible. It is like chasing the end of a rainbow. Also, these actions are not meant to produce a tangible outcome, but rather a symbolic one. Someone who is depressed and the catalyst for these feelings is a certain thing or things usually is looking for a simple cause and effect result. Get better job, earn more money, enjoy things. Improve relationship with partner, have more fulfilling relationship, feel better about oneself. With sehnsucht though it is not of this nature. One may strive for a better job for better pay to achieve freedom. Or want to improve their relationship with their partner to understand love as it relates to the human condition. These things can never be achieved fully, and so there is sense of disappointment every time there is a reminder of this.

LisaT Bipolar Diagnosis
  • replies: 8

Hi Last year I had a manic episode with psychotic features. I ended up in hospital for 3 weeks. I have been experiencing a low since roughly July last year...no pleasure in past activities, lack of motivation, little energy, etc This week I went to s... View more

Hi Last year I had a manic episode with psychotic features. I ended up in hospital for 3 weeks. I have been experiencing a low since roughly July last year...no pleasure in past activities, lack of motivation, little energy, etc This week I went to see my psych and asked him straight out what was wrong with me. He told me I had bipolar 1. He adjusted my meds which I hope works. My episode was triggered by long term high stress. Has anyone else been diagnosed with bipolar?

Mawkish Depression triggered by something I enjoy
  • replies: 2

My depression is caused by someone I like or indulge in, even though I still consciously try to avoid that person when I'm away from them for a while. It's a cycle. It only comes back when I see the person, despite the fact that I love this person. M... View more

My depression is caused by someone I like or indulge in, even though I still consciously try to avoid that person when I'm away from them for a while. It's a cycle. It only comes back when I see the person, despite the fact that I love this person. My depression case is really strange and abnormal as it's rather "contradictory".

Mystera What is happening to me?
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I feel that I need to talk to others as beside my work counselor there is no one out there I can really talk to. History: I met my partner a year ago when her then very ill mother she was looking after died not soon after we met. Attraction w... View more

Hi all, I feel that I need to talk to others as beside my work counselor there is no one out there I can really talk to. History: I met my partner a year ago when her then very ill mother she was looking after died not soon after we met. Attraction was instant and love developed soon after. I lived in a big city and had nice circle of work mates with whom I had good social interactions daily. My partner was in deep grief and decided to move in with me pretty much as soon as we met, to be away form her family and to be able to process her grief. I experienced her mostly sitting on the lounge, after late night stay awake and late mornings, daily. Her main hobby/pattern is to read on her tablet (rarely let this thing down). She told me that she likes reading and that she is big introvert and sociophobe. She is more on a quite side person. In time she was staying at my place we have had some good fun but still didn't go out much at all.She also shared with me some horrific abuse stories from her past, mental issues she had and that she is on the very strong dose of pain medication. I find her more on a quiet side. After six months living together she suggested to me to move to much smaller town with her (where she was born) to be closer to her old and very fragile dad.I accepted and we moved 3 months ago. I have same full time job here and she is not working as she hasn't been for last 2 years because of looking after her ill mom 24/7. She sold her house couple of years ago and she has been using that money in every day life, money that is slowly fading away. I am on a steady job but below average pay. While living with me I was covering all bills and she was contributing by buying a groceries. Since we moved here life has been very stressful. Constant work on the house, my new work was totally unprepared for my start so I felt extremely frustrated and unsupported. She tried her best to work at home along with me but it is hard for her as she is quite unorganised person, so there is a lot of mess inside of the house. Opposite of her I am very organised person and need some order to be able to feel comfortable in my surrounding.

RandR *NOTHING CHANGES IF nothing changes*
  • replies: 11

If was almost 2 years ago. At the time life felt grand. I was popular, out at least 2-3 times a week, was known as the social butterfly and was a friend of everyone but in reality, a friend of no one. You could say I've always been an extrovert, conf... View more

If was almost 2 years ago. At the time life felt grand. I was popular, out at least 2-3 times a week, was known as the social butterfly and was a friend of everyone but in reality, a friend of no one. You could say I've always been an extrovert, confident, happy to approach the unknown and always the 'YES' man in most situations. The reality of being this person over many years and almost like being on 'repeat' was that I thought I had many caring friends around me when in reality all I had were people using me for an excuse to go out, get drunk and for the most part, get high off drugs. Especially when you were the financier for every outing. I felt at the time that by going out and meeting new networks that my depression was in check and I that I was in control and accepted by society. The awful truth though was that every time I got home after a big night I constantly had a thundering and abrupt visit by that person you might be familiar with known as 'depression'. Whenever depression came late at night and tapped me on the shoulder, the feeling was cold, sharp and straight to the heart. Sound nullified, as did any good feeling I had throughout the night and that feeling that I was 'wanted' by someone, anyone. I was in this constant routine until one night when I had a hard reality check. My minute I remember having to go the toilet and the next minute I woke up in the back of an ambulance with no memory. 16 hours of straight drinking and drugs with no food took its toll. I was scared, panicked and felt all alone. I remembered Albert Einsteins definition of insanity: 'Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. It was time for things to change and more importantly, for me to make and action changes. I stopped going out for drinks and instead went out for weekend breakfasts with friends who I had known for a long time and were always there and vice versa, I changed my mobile number and stopped contacting the 'party crowd'. I substituted going out for drinks and alcohol with learning MMA and Brazilian Jui-Jitsu and eating healthy food 5-10 times a week and started watching TedTalks and further enhancing my mind. I also started guitar up again and focused on my career. I also became somewhat of a hermit crab and didn't go out for drinks for 8 months. Fast forward and for 2 years since changing my ways I have not been depressed since and have never been happier. I hope this helps and thank you for reading. R&R.

muffinxo feeling lost and alone
  • replies: 6

This is my first time posting in the forum so I'm not quite sure how this works exactly. I suffer from bipolar mood disorder, depression and anxiety. I feel that over the last couple of months I've been on a downward spiral, particularly in the last ... View more

This is my first time posting in the forum so I'm not quite sure how this works exactly. I suffer from bipolar mood disorder, depression and anxiety. I feel that over the last couple of months I've been on a downward spiral, particularly in the last week. I am constantly exhausted, have no motivation to do anything and just feel all around hopeless. My studies are suffering because of this and I just feel worn down. I don't like asking for help or talking about how bad things really are right now because I feel like people will think I'm overreacting. I feel like I have no one to talk to. Everyone has their own lives to worry about and I don't want to bother anyone or feel like a burden to others. - Teagan

The_Possum Dream Dream Dream
  • replies: 7

Hi Everyone I have bipolar ii and sleep is really an issue for me. Or should I say.. Dreams are an issue. It's taken me months to work on sleep hygiene and have gone from no sleep to about 6 hours a night. Mainly via my psychologist, meditation, musi... View more

Hi Everyone I have bipolar ii and sleep is really an issue for me. Or should I say.. Dreams are an issue. It's taken me months to work on sleep hygiene and have gone from no sleep to about 6 hours a night. Mainly via my psychologist, meditation, music and some reading before bed. But the sleep isn't restful. It's full of dreams of me in trouble, others in trouble, running to help.. They are busy dreams that leave me feeling over whelmed in the morning. I have sleeping tablets but only allowed them a maximum of one night a week as my doctor doesn't want me to become addicted. If I take the tablets I'll sleep about 9 hours and I have no idea if I dream as I'm literally out of it and don't recall anything when I wake up. So it's more restful for me. Anyone have any dream issues? Bipolar has been difficult to manage, only diagnosed november last year and medicated, but I'm doing OK with help. Thanks x