Adive needed

[Beth88]

Hi I'm 20 years old and need some advice. I often get patches where all I want to do Is sleep all day and I just feel so lonely and upset. Little things trigger patches like this, one moment I'm fine then the next out of no where I just feel so hopeless and tired. I never speak to anyone about it because I feel embarrassed, Iv told me boyfriend and mum on some occasions but they don't seem to care. I have been diagnosed with anxiety a few years ago but have never been back to the doctors for depression as I feel they can't help and I also don't think I'm as extreme as most people so I'm wasting their time. I push my family and friends away, when I get these patches I start to ignore my boyfriend and don't want to speak to him about it which I know isn't good but I just can't speak to anyone about it, so I'm hoping someone can speak to me and give some advice. I hate feeling like this it's so draining one moment I'm fine then the next moment I just feel so low and I hate it. just hope someone can relate or help me out because I just want to feel normal again

[BballJ]

Hi Beth88,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

I can totally relate, having had anxiety for many years since my late teens/early 20's I know how you are feeling and I sometimes feel like the president of 'Feeling good one day and feeling hopeless and down the next day"... I understand you don't want to talk to boyfriend and family etc, it is a very tough thing to discuss cause a lot of people do not understand and think it's a simple, oh just cheer up and get over it type of thing, which I know it defintely is not. I came to terms with my anxiety last year and finally reached out for help by going to the doctors and asking for a referral to a psychologist, one of the best things I did was reach out and see a psychologist and I can only ever recommend them as they really do help. They are like a good friend you can confide in and who won't judge and understands you also. It's quite refreshing. I feel you need something like that. These forums are also great speaking to like minded people like myself who feel how you feel and like you said to feel not alone and you are most certainly not alone as we are all battling something here and all want to help each other.

Please also remember you can always call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 to discuss anything you are feeling.

My best for you,

Jay

[pipsy]

Hi Beth88. I can well relate to your feelings of tiredness and not wanting to speak to anyone when you're feeling so low. Depression is one of those illnesses that, because it's not visible, makes it harder for people to understand. Trying to explain it is similar to speaking in a foreign language as the feelings are hard to explain. The patches you describe are the 'levels' of feeling fine and coping well one minute, then suddenly, the 'lows' return and you feel as though why should you bother. When those 'lows' hit, trying to tell our nearest and dearest means finding the energy to do that and that is when it's almost impossible as the depression sucks the energy required to reach out. You then push your loved ones way because you have no energy to deal with their concern. The 'low' patches, as you say are not lasting long, so when you start feeling the lows dissipating and you feel you can tell someone how you're feeling, are you someone who keeps a journal to record your good days. If you are, it might be an idea to write in the journal how bad you feel when the 'low' patches visit, show the journal to mum or your bf and invite them to read it. Explain that it isn't them and you appreciate them caring, but when you're feeling low, talking about it is draining and just ask them to respect you and you will speak when you're feeling better. They don't understand as they can't feel what you're feeling, I'm sure they do care, but they feel helpless and need to understand you will reach out when you are able. Once they read and understand why you withdraw, they will probably ease off the questions and just wait till you're feeling better. Please see your Dr as they do understand and see if you can get a referral for a psych who can help you and you won't feel as though you're battling alone. There is nothing worse than feeling isolated when you feel down. Your self esteem plummets and you start retreating further into your protective shell. It's great you have reached out to BB, this is the first step in asking for guidance and reassurance.

Lynda

[kanga_brumby]

Beth88 one of the things you can do is, talk to your GP. It's better to have a diagnosis and medication, than not. If your feeling down it's better to let your parents know, than not. Even if they don't support you, at least you have given them the warning. You will find most people here in BB supportive of you. Because we could need the same type of support either in the past or in future. This way we help each other.