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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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bigstar existential side of the illness
  • replies: 6

So, after having rather acute anxiety for as long as I can remember (my first memories are panic attacks in benign situations) I have thought that maybe I do have this awful chemical imbalance. Despite my anxiety, I have forced myself to do things th... View more

So, after having rather acute anxiety for as long as I can remember (my first memories are panic attacks in benign situations) I have thought that maybe I do have this awful chemical imbalance. Despite my anxiety, I have forced myself to do things that seemed unendurable because I have a pretty overdeveloped rational mind as well and that part of me sometimes can overcome the hardwired automatic responses to situations and I can at least have this kinda detachment from the anxiety even though I suffer it. But I am thirty years old. Four months ago the anxiety caused what I can explain as a total destruction of self--and I had some of the most intense anxiety and depression I've ever had. I call these ground zero moments--in terms of psychology--they reduce me to nothing and there is just a fleshy body with thoughts that know something has gone horribly wrong. The first time I had this experience I was 22 and I saw a therapist. She told me I had depersonalization/derealization/GAD and depression and so on. But I 'recovered' through philosophy. The thing is, I know I have this chemical imbalance. And that it isn't my fault. But the other thing is that this chemical imbalance has caused catastrophic damage to the structures of self--they bring on the existential dilemmas faced--like meaninglessness, selflessness, hopelessness, and I keep struggling but for what? And worst of all, I am perpetually confused by existence. The second I find myself being 'in the moment' and free like an animal there is a part of my brain that detaches and says 'what the hell is going on--who are you and why are all these people around you and why did you even say the things that you said and how do you use your mouth and dont you know you are just a fleshy body and this thing called consciousness is super frigging crazy and holy cow what is even happening' and then I get overwhelmed on an existential level and either need to leave the room and have a beer or go for a run. Anyways my subconscious structures have just collapsed and now I am an over analytical brain that is overly self aware of itself and its hard to come back to naivety I suppose. My former self seems like a distant memory and I've been like this for 4 months and can't even remember what its like to be happy. Anyways--I don't want to do meds either. But I was just wondering--how many other users here find the existential side of the illness unbearable??? What do you do to try turn it off?

Kristy3 My family think they are helping me by telling me that depression is the state of mind but they have no idea
  • replies: 3

Hi I was diagnosed back in 2013 severe chronic depression along with severe anxiety and stress. I recently applied DSP because i realise i cant work and last year i had to quit my job due to my depression and anxiety. My depression has caused me to c... View more

Hi I was diagnosed back in 2013 severe chronic depression along with severe anxiety and stress. I recently applied DSP because i realise i cant work and last year i had to quit my job due to my depression and anxiety. My depression has caused me to comfort eat and i have put on so much weight. I very rarely leave the house except for going to appointments and doing food shopping. My depression started in my early teens and it got worse after my mother passed away from cancer. My depression was caused by my family who always criticised everything i did nothing was ever good enough. From the age of 13 my stepfather became physically abusive not to the point of being black and blue but every time i stood up for myself after him treating me like rubbish he would hit me because i back answered him and he considers that as disrespect. My stepfather didn't treat me like a daughter and no one believed that he was treating me this way even now i would get called a liar because in everyone else's mind they all thought he was a great father who had accepted a woman who had a daughter. However it wasn't just my stepfather who treated me badly it was also my mother who told me i was an embarrassment to her because i didnt wear my hair down i had it up into a pony tail because i just gotten over gastro and i still had a bit of a temperature and i wanted my hair to be off my shoulders. Because of what i went through over the years i just kept on falling and falling and lost my self-esteem my worth always believing that i was dumb and stupid and had no intelligence. My depression is based on the hurt that i have suffered over time and there is always triggers that that causes me to relapse over and over and i all i want to do is stay in side my unit because thats where i feel the most safest. My family think they are helping me by telling me that depression is the state of mind but they have no idea. I get no support or help from my family they try to control everything i do and it makes me worse and it increases my anxiety and all i want to do is run away from them because i feel like i cant breath around them. I stumbled on to this site because it would nice to read stories from people who truly understand what you are going through.

hey001 Lost
  • replies: 6

Hi, So this is my first post, im 23 and lost in life. I feel like i'm caught in a whirlpool of my own thoughts, sometimes i think bad stuff, but most of the time its me trying to think of what i need to do in life. At the moment i'm trying to find my... View more

Hi, So this is my first post, im 23 and lost in life. I feel like i'm caught in a whirlpool of my own thoughts, sometimes i think bad stuff, but most of the time its me trying to think of what i need to do in life. At the moment i'm trying to find my passion ( im aware its not an easy thing), but all my dreams are so farfetched, like i want to make a big discovery or something i don't know what! after getting excited about the thought of making such a big achievement i fall into a hole in my mind, and its almost like if i can't have or start working towards this goal, life isn't worth living, it's not good enough, i know i sound like a spoilt brat but that's how i feel. I procrastinate alot... and when ever i do start working towards something, it's only a matter of time before i get sick of it (usually a couple of days). My expectations of life are huge, like i must do something great or i am worthless and shouldnt continue living. I tried doing simple things like art/sewing/calligraphy, it relaxed me, but the interest lasted only a couple of days, and its like i have a number of hobbys that i circulate over an over. Doesn't sound like such a bad thing but it is for me, because im looking for something i can put my full energy into, not just temporary. I'm sure most 23 year olds reach this point in life. The other thing i'll mention is my fear of time wasting... yet i get nothing done. My biggest regret is laying on my deathbed and thinking "I wish i got there". I have a girlfriend of 5 years, though i can't commit to a relationship because im so far deep in my own head, but i can't abandon my relationship because it supports me. Its sad but true. My biggest fear is getting to a certain age maybe 30 or 40 i dont know, and if i haven't made some progress towards my passion i feel it's necessary to no longer live beyond that point. To make things clearer my big farfetched dream is travelling space or something along those lines. Thankyou for taking the time to read.

NeedHopeNeedLove Help – depression, anxiety, ahnedonia and about to break up
  • replies: 12

Im 35, F. 3 months ago I had an argument with my partner(of over 2 years) something inside me changed. After the argument something shifted inside& I started to get very bad anxiety telling me that I no longer love him &need to break up. The thoughts... View more

Im 35, F. 3 months ago I had an argument with my partner(of over 2 years) something inside me changed. After the argument something shifted inside& I started to get very bad anxiety telling me that I no longer love him &need to break up. The thoughts wont stop & I cant shake it off. Everything around me has sunk. I have no interest in my hobbies,business or any interests in friends or family. Prior to this event I was a very strong, happy, resilient person & I felt I could take the whole world on. I was fit doing exercise& healthy. Now im a wreck & cant stop smoking. I feel like something horrible has got me This has been my life pattern. I have had 4-5 very good relationships & 1day something happens inside me & I no longer feel anything for these people & I spiral into a very bad depressive emotionless place. One in particular when I was 20, like a switch went off & all feelings gone & I cant be with this person. what followed was even worse, years of grief for this person, drugs & alcohol & 15 years later I still think about him. At 25 & a drug OD drug overdose I decided I couldn’t live like this any longer & got help. I started to see a naturopath & within months I was like a new person, the best version of myself I ever knew. I had 10 years of feeling fantastic like I could do anyting,i had the sharpest clarity of mind. I have always told myself that if I was in the good space I could’ve made these relationships work. Yet here I am again faced with this demon about to ruin my life because these crazy thoughts wont stop.. All I ever wanted was to be loved & have my own family.I have the best partner in the world right now & I cant even give myself that because im about to destroy it & I don’t know why?! I get down when I see people around me that are pregnant & happy in their relationships, or when I look at FB & I see my friends getting married, engaged or having babies. When things were great with my current partner I could not be without him. I looked in his eyes and I saw the rest of our lives together,I saw our own family. Now I cant see anything & im sinking deeply in my life & everything is falling apart. i am praying that this is just depression & I will get out of it soon& life will go back to perfect, but this is taking its toll on both my partner & I & we’re both in no man’s land with my condition. Am I out of love because I’m depressed, or depressed because fallen out of love?Yes I’m seeing a psychologist but its every 3 weeks

FeelingHopeless6 I used to be happy...
  • replies: 2

When I was younger, i was happy. I know being nostalgic always makes people imagine they were happier than they were, but i remember how the voice inside my head used to be. She was optimistic, supportive, forgiving, and had this underlying sparkle o... View more

When I was younger, i was happy. I know being nostalgic always makes people imagine they were happier than they were, but i remember how the voice inside my head used to be. She was optimistic, supportive, forgiving, and had this underlying sparkle of hope. My inner voice now is always berating me, telling me to give up, telling me to eat more to feel a momentary bit of happiness, telling me I am a failure. I have been through a lot in the interim - worked a job for 4 years i used to love, then grew to hate, met my partner (a supportive yet anxious introvert), adopted my dream dog, started my own business, and had a back injury 6 months ago which stopped my part time job as a yoga teacher (I spent thousands of dollars to become certified as a yoga teacher, and 6 months after starting i had a disc prolapse which rendered me unable to walk for a while. Being on painkillers was great, but coming off them, i think they made my antidepressants stop working. I feel tremendously weaker, older, sadder, fatter and uglier than i did. I just feel like i don't fit into this space i carved out for myself anymore. I don't feel smart. I don't feel inspired. I feel isolated, lonely and sad all the time. Every day is a struggle to get out of bed, i feel redundant in this world, I feel like i have to work extra hard as an expat. I have medicare, but i am finding it really hard to get the help i know i need. I don't have a lot of money, as my business is only a year old - but when i asked my GP to recommend a psychologist, he gave me a referral to see one that costed $200 a session. He knows I don't have a lot of money, he knows i am on medicare, idk if he was testing me? So now I have to ask again - arent you supposed to get 10 sessions free with a psych? I desperately need to talk to someone to make sense of all this. I feel lost, hopeless and like nothing will ever help me to be happy again. I know i am reinforcing these negative thoughts by writing them down, but expressing how i feel (though its making me cry more) feels cathartic.

Little_Green_Frog Relapse in depression & anxiety
  • replies: 2

I've been living with depression (inc. Anxiety disorder and BPD) for over 15 years now. At this moment in my life I have finally got a stable, well paying job, my kiddies are all off to school and hubby and I seem to be doing great together. I have t... View more

I've been living with depression (inc. Anxiety disorder and BPD) for over 15 years now. At this moment in my life I have finally got a stable, well paying job, my kiddies are all off to school and hubby and I seem to be doing great together. I have tried to do online Uni and went well for one semester and then crashed out after that. My hubby and I are trying to save for our own home and we'e just had Xmas and school holidays. Things seem to be piling up and I am starting to get physical symptoms back: bad bowels, sleeping disturbances, headaches etc. Mentally, I'm exhausted. Im angry, short, emotional etc. All the signs are there. I seen my GP when I first recognised it and then had a follow up and I was feeling good again. Now I'm not. I feel like I am cycling through moods and I am so lonely... I see my GP again on Tuesday. I feel stupid that I can't get this under control. My hubby doesnt understand, when I push him away he pushes back, then we argue. I've got no friends, no hobbies and no sense of personality or identity for myself. I'm lost and these depressive episodes are more intense and coming closer and closer together. Its scary.

Griffo2727 Dreams, goals and ambitions
  • replies: 3

Hey. So one of the biggest struggles I have is that I can never really remember and still don't have any dreams. My goals are simply to be happy but I don't know what actually makes me happy! I guess I lack ambition too. So I guess where have others ... View more

Hey. So one of the biggest struggles I have is that I can never really remember and still don't have any dreams. My goals are simply to be happy but I don't know what actually makes me happy! I guess I lack ambition too. So I guess where have others gone to find goals and dreams?, which hopefully leads to the ambition.

Freebo Lost in a perpetual spiral of sorrow
  • replies: 2

Life has become.... unbearable. I feel consumed by my darkness in ways that's I've never tried to articulate into words. The last 6 months I've felt so alone in the world like I can't talk to anybody. I feel so set in my isolation, I miss talking to ... View more

Life has become.... unbearable. I feel consumed by my darkness in ways that's I've never tried to articulate into words. The last 6 months I've felt so alone in the world like I can't talk to anybody. I feel so set in my isolation, I miss talking to people but can't help myself but continue it. I don't know who I am anymore. My depression is who I am right now. It's all I have. I can barely remember a time without the constant torment. As I tough through this phase, I have come to realize that I hate myself. That I honestly feel like I don't deserve help, so I use excuses to prolong my suffering. As I write this, thoughts of being melodramatic and to get over it plague me. My obsession with self pity is making me yearn a more permanent state of being. I feel like an outsider to my own journey, an alien to my existence. It takes all my being to just not give up, I don't want to. Because as distant as my past seems to my current state of mind. I do vaguely remember what serenity feels like. I haven't left my home in over a year. I haven't spoken to anyone in half that time. Both scare me to over come. I need help with it but I don't know how to ask. I can't do it for anyone else, I have to do it for myself and that's the greatest challenge of all because when it comes down to it. I don't feel like I'm worth it. Maybe this post to myself will help me, maybe it won't. Maybe someone can relate, I hope not. I am a lost soul, in a perpetual spiral of sorrow.

cfalz Why am I always so angry?
  • replies: 2

I feel like I’m ruining everything. I’m constantly upsetting people because I just can’t stop getting angry. I’m always so irritable and anything will set me off. My anger is always too intense for the tiny thing that upset me. I don’t know why I alw... View more

I feel like I’m ruining everything. I’m constantly upsetting people because I just can’t stop getting angry. I’m always so irritable and anything will set me off. My anger is always too intense for the tiny thing that upset me. I don’t know why I always overreact in this way. It’s pushing people away from me. I’m hurting people but I just can’t bring myself to say sorry. I just can’t apologise. If I could it would make things better but I just can’t and I don’t know why. I always just feel so empty and worthless and small issues always seem bigger than they are. I get this small amount of satisfaction when I cause an arguments because at least I feel something, but it always comes crashing down around me. Please help me

Anna150 Doing good to feel good
  • replies: 3

Hello all I am new here but wanted to share something I noticed recently. I have been in a slump for awhile. Not wanting to see or speak to family and friends. Wanting to avoid any human contact at all costs. I usually avoid the train but had to take... View more

Hello all I am new here but wanted to share something I noticed recently. I have been in a slump for awhile. Not wanting to see or speak to family and friends. Wanting to avoid any human contact at all costs. I usually avoid the train but had to take it the other day. When I disembarked I noticed a lady struggling with a cane and a suitcase. I offered to take her suitcase for her and as we slowly made our way down the platform we spoke. I was surprised how relaxed I was speaking with her. And that I felt less burdened than I had in a long time. Her gratitude for helping her made me feel... good. This feeling motivated me to try to return a lost wallet I found this morning to its own. Again, it felt good. Has anyone else noticed this? Anna