I first stumbled on this in 1997. I hadn’t been diagnosed with depression and bipolar until 6 years later but know now I had them all along. Recovering from a marriage split with kids involved, survived a suicide plan in full swing and heavily depressed when I moved into a caravan park it seemed all downhill from there but I decided to rebound.
To get myself financially ahead I worked 3 jobs including one shift work. I purchased a block of land and ordered a kit home, a two storey quaker barn to be used as a house. Suddenly I was flat out either working or building. My only day off was one day a fortnight while I had my kids but even then as they played hop scotch on the house slab I toiled cleaning up or moving things.
I became physically exhausted. I know this because I had a delivery of 60 sheets of plaster. Huge sheets by any standards and I had to cut them smaller to hang pieces on the wall. After several days the stack of sheets didn’t seem to have reduced and my old back injury returned. Suddenly, the thought of failing overwhelmed me and I collapsed in a blubbering heap.
Ten minutes later I got up, made myself a brew then got stuck into it again. How? Well, I’d been conditioned to be positive and never give up. Always seek the positive…and the positive was- that I was so exhausted I slept well and no longer dwelled on my ex wife and her childish antics and emotional abuse. I was proud I was succeeding albeit on my own during late nights with candlelight.
Since then I’ve always taken on challenges to over exert myself so I sleep better. This is particularly good for ADHD sufferers or those that have guilt or mania or dwell on issues. Being active means keeping your mind in constant activity, a busy frame of mind, always thinking, always doing, not stopping except for sensible breaks.
There are spin offs. You succeed in doing something, creating, re-establishing your life. What's the motivation? well look for one. In my case I'd lost my home, neighbours, dog, full time fatherhood. My ex got the house and I got our garage. My motivation? Get my house back by my own hands!
Any regrets? Well yes, I could have done with a smaller home and employed a tradesman or two. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
You can do other things to make yourself spent like sports and hobbies.
While you are exhausted you might well be thinking of a troublesome topic but you aren’t beating yourself up. Better than moping any day. Achieve and be proud.
TonyWK
