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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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eunha Seriously feel like no one can ever help me..
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, Just as the title suggests I really dont think anyone can help me. Ever. Life has been down for the past 3 years ranging from failed relationships, financial problems, family drama and so forth. Nothing has ever been great for me at all.... View more

Hi everyone, Just as the title suggests I really dont think anyone can help me. Ever. Life has been down for the past 3 years ranging from failed relationships, financial problems, family drama and so forth. Nothing has ever been great for me at all. I feel like im living my own personal hell. I moved out of my hometown to get a fresh start a few years back but I was wrong. This insane cloud of darkness always follows me around wherever I go. I look at my bestfriend whom I live with and he’s got it going for him. Picture perfect relationship, little to no family problems, stable job, awesome friends etc. And then theres me. I have no other friends, failed relationships (apparently im not man enough) boring, lost my job again (not my fault but it always comes down to circumstances like right now with Covid-19). It’s tough. I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t sleep, I rarely eat, I started smoking to calm me down which kind of helps me relax when I feel breakdowns are about to happen. I tried seeking professional help but I ended up getting dumb internet mental exercises because my hormone levels are stable and normal. Why is the world against me? I have no clue. I can’t count how many times I’ve tried ending it on my own. I’m so envious of other people. I’m literally living hell on earth. My own personal hell designed to make me go insane. Now I don’t know where else to express my feelings. No one believes me. You wanna know why? It’s because it’s all in my head. Im literally trying my best. Im just not good enough for anything. Or anyone for that matter... I really don’t get it. Nothing goes in favour for me at all. Im so frustrated. I get used by people due to my supposed kindness. And according to my friend I’m not a good person because of my temper. Which rarely comes out but once my long patience is gone I can chew someones head off. Happened when I snapped at him and his friend for not respecting my privacy inside my own house. Im still in the wrong. Im always wrong. Im left handed so maybe thats why nothing is right. In the end im still alone. Theres a huge hole of emptiness inside of me. A void. I can’t care any less about myself anymore and purposely trying to deteriorate myself instead of the easy way out. That way, at least I can’t embarrass my parents when I go. I feel like a shadow. I can only be seen in the light but disappears in the darkness. The listener that no one wants to hear out. In the end, I’ll always be the one that’s forgotten

Cocotree New Member Anxiety/ Depression mini story
  • replies: 7

Hi there, I needed to write my feelings down or thoughts more so. I suffer from Generalised Anxiety and Depression. I've had this since i was in High school, i had several panic attacks where it causes vomiting and i don't eat for a few days. I have ... View more

Hi there, I needed to write my feelings down or thoughts more so. I suffer from Generalised Anxiety and Depression. I've had this since i was in High school, i had several panic attacks where it causes vomiting and i don't eat for a few days. I have ended up in hospital previously as it got bad at one stage i didn't eat anything for 4 days straight barley any water and i was continually throwing up as well. The doctor just gave me IV drips and advised i needed to see a psychologist. I already was previously when it first began, i was not aware of what it was in beginning and went to seek help from a GP he then referred me. I'm 21 this year i have had a great ease for a few months then i keep getting randomly sucked into the ugly cycle of depression. It would randomly arise and i just struggle under the weight of it, i am still seeing my psychologist (i had taken a break due to covid-19, but had messaged him to make an appt). My mother also has anxiety and i find it hard to communicate with her when i am like this, the rest of my family don't understand what to do or cope with me when im like this. So i tried to pretend when i am near them, i put on a fake smile. I have a best friend who helps me generally during these times, however, i have no one else!... i can't talk to anyone else about this and i also feel the sense of burden that my anxiety or depression can have. I am currently studying in my 4th year of Bachelors for teaching, i don't want to take medication as i know there are side affects of it such as addiction. I don't want to cope that way, i tried natural supplements that are supposed to calm the mind and overall balance of mood. I am honestly just really tried, i feel trapped, weak, hopeless and very anxious. The crazy thing is I'm so mindful aware of what i should do, or could do but i lack the incentive or energy to do this. Honestly i am just tried of having to repeat this ongoing cycle, it never leaves me alone i'll be really good and control it for a few months for example; 6, then i'd spiral from something random, like family issues, or stress from everyday life. This is just a brief summary of my story, thank you for anyone who was able to read this! Are there any support groups i can join? to have people to chat to about this? any Suggestions?

Encourager Depression and lack of sleep.
  • replies: 3

Hi everybody. This is my first post, so I will try and make it brief. Although I seem to have suffered some form of depression most of my adult life, lately I have noticed it is very hard to have a full 6-8 hours sleep at night. I often have short bu... View more

Hi everybody. This is my first post, so I will try and make it brief. Although I seem to have suffered some form of depression most of my adult life, lately I have noticed it is very hard to have a full 6-8 hours sleep at night. I often have short bursts of sleep for 2-3 hours and then have a short rest during the following day. I wondered if anyone else has experienced similar changes in their pattern of sleep. Hope everyone is finding some comfort in the present pandemic seeming to flatten out.

Yelah90 All over the place.
  • replies: 2

I've been diagnose wirh depression, anxiety BBD and I exhibit some eating disorder habit.. But not yet been diagnose with an Eating disorder. Now BPD has been mention a few times.. Which makes me depress because no one knows what's wrong with me. And... View more

I've been diagnose wirh depression, anxiety BBD and I exhibit some eating disorder habit.. But not yet been diagnose with an Eating disorder. Now BPD has been mention a few times.. Which makes me depress because no one knows what's wrong with me. And I'm just tired of life. Cause I want everything sorted and on track. But with me losing my crap every 3 or so days I lose hope. That I will ever be okay. The question is will I be okay??

s1178 i need some advice please helpp
  • replies: 3

I'm not sure what to do or how to start talking to anyone so ive decided to start posting on here because im starting to scare myself. i dont know how long ive been depressed and i have never got a formal diagnosis but i have trouble talking to anyon... View more

I'm not sure what to do or how to start talking to anyone so ive decided to start posting on here because im starting to scare myself. i dont know how long ive been depressed and i have never got a formal diagnosis but i have trouble talking to anyone and cant take myself to a doctor. my boyfirned knows i have issues but recently ive started having darker thought and i dont know how to tell him or anyone. i genuinely cant think of anyone who would actually care or be affected if i wasnt here any more and i really fel lke these thoughta re goingt o come to somenthing more. im not going to do anything permanent soon nut i dont know how long soon will last i already self harm and i cant seem to stop. i want to but i cant talk. how do i start and i do i find some i feel might actually care. ive never been able to find a councilor or psychologist who i feel really comfortable with. ive gone to three or four sessions then praised them on how great they are cos theyve cured me and they genuinely seem so pleased with themselves and that reaction shows me they're bullshit and now i really dont feel like i can trust them or any doctor. i really dont know how to find someone i will really be able to talk. i'm sorry for the ramble. I'm just not sure what else to do. It all just seems so silly really. Sorry and thanks for reading.

Wilddog Struggle Street
  • replies: 5

I'm a uni student, and I've been taking antidepressants for my depression for about a year now. I was feeling isolated before coronavirus and now classes have moved online its even worse. It takes it out of me to shower and cook myself a decent meal.... View more

I'm a uni student, and I've been taking antidepressants for my depression for about a year now. I was feeling isolated before coronavirus and now classes have moved online its even worse. It takes it out of me to shower and cook myself a decent meal. IM struggling financially. It just seems that my life isn't getting any better. Like I'm stuck in a really awful rut. I messaged my mum saying I feel low and I'm not okay and she told me to take my dog for a walk because exercise releasing endorphins. I'm so behind in my classes and finals are in 3 weeks. Literally the only thing keeping me functioning right now is my dog because he needs me. I'm burnt out, exhausted and disappointed. I cant keep living my life like this, it's awful

Jess_P Alone and feeling like a failure
  • replies: 7

I’m usually stronger than this. Or at least, better at pretending. I don’t have close friends. I have friends sure but I would never tell them when I’m struggling. I’m the strong one. If I don’t keep it together I’m afraid I will cry. If I cry I’m af... View more

I’m usually stronger than this. Or at least, better at pretending. I don’t have close friends. I have friends sure but I would never tell them when I’m struggling. I’m the strong one. If I don’t keep it together I’m afraid I will cry. If I cry I’m afraid I will never stop. I try so hard. But I’m just a person. I make mistakes, like anyone else. But if I’m not doing my absolute best and I fail, I feel like a deserve it. I don’t let anyone in because I’m afraid someone will see me deep down and be so disappointed. I haven’t had a boyfriend for over 10 years. Partly because I need to be ‘together’ all the time for my job. I can’t be weak. And if I have my heart broken again I’m afraid it will make me waver and fall. If I’m not good at my job I’m nothing. I feel like I have nothing or no one else. I work so hard to avoid pain and feel nothing. It’s an emotional isolation I’ve caused and perfected on my own. Now we’re all physically isolated I’m getting worse at pretending I’m ok. I hear my mothers voice. ‘No one wants to be around someone miserable. Cheer up’. I’m trying. But I can’t.

Emmyloulou Depression, Parenting, Grief, Career & COVID19
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm new here, I would love to to connect with others in similar situation to What I am experiencing atm. I have major depressive disorder which I have medicated for since late 2016- it's had its ups and downs but I was for ally stable early.this ... View more

Hi, I'm new here, I would love to to connect with others in similar situation to What I am experiencing atm. I have major depressive disorder which I have medicated for since late 2016- it's had its ups and downs but I was for ally stable early.this year for the first time in Proably 18 months. Then COVID19 happened I was lucky enough to remain in a job that I could do from home.then schools.got closed and I became my 2 kids teacher aswell as a fulltime employee!! I wanted to do both well, obviously wanted to support my kids as best as I can but I also be present and still performing at my best in such a crucial time for my employer. I was just hanging in there, then I get a call from my dad's nursing home to say he was very unwell and most likely had days to live. Of course I drop everything and rush to be with him. This was last Sunday- i spent two days with him while he was looking very unwell, praying and reassuring him that everything is ok. He has been in a vegetative state for two years and has not spoken or known who I was for that whole time. Then on Tuesday I get a phone call from the NDIS carer that visits him who had not seen him for a week and wasn't aware of his current situation on the phone to me or cheerful and happy telling me I can't believe it your Dad is TALKING,.and yes he was he said hello to me over the phone. I rushed in there and what do you know he is talking, remembers who I am but seems.to be stuck in a certain year because he keeps.asking what time my Mum will be home (she passed away 6 yrs ago). I speak.to the Sr and she tells.me this is quite normal for palliative patients, they sometimes have has surge or return cognition in.their final.days. the past few days he has remained back to normal not speaking and not awake. He is only being treated for pain now as he has sepsis following aspiration pneumonia. I've has a week off work and honestly feel like I slipped into depression and all i want to do is be asleep and forget everything. I am an.only child so have to deal with this.on my own, it was the same when my mum passed away. Basically the last 6 years have been he'll.

BM111 Failing at life
  • replies: 5

Hi, Im not too sure what Im trying to achieve by posting on here. Ive never spoken about my feelings to anyone but I just feel today, I need to do. Ive always felt pretty flat throughout life but have always just ‘’got on with it’. Ive tried to keep ... View more

Hi, Im not too sure what Im trying to achieve by posting on here. Ive never spoken about my feelings to anyone but I just feel today, I need to do. Ive always felt pretty flat throughout life but have always just ‘’got on with it’. Ive tried to keep busy in life. Im educated, I work full time and I try to do things which I enjoy. As time goes on I’m realizing that not much gives me enjoyment anymore (if ever it did). Ive always tried to put on a happy face but I just feel so tired of pretending.Im 34 now and the older I get the harder things feel for me. Life just feels like its passing me by. I feel like Im not living, just existing. I feel so incredibly lonely and worry that this is how I will always feel. I have a couple of friends here and there and I always try and organise catch-ups, but being my age, most of my friends have families and are always busy. I’m no one’s priority. A big issue for me is my romantic life. Ive never had a boyfriend which makes me feel so embarrassed that I avoid talking about it or even lie. There have been a few guys here and there over the years but nothing has ever turned serious. I used to think maybe I was just unlucky in love but now Im pretty sure that the problem is me. I dont think I’m incredibly ugly, but I am a quiet person which most men don’t seem to like. Ive tried dating over the years, but always seem to get rejected in one way or another. Rejection is hard for everyone, but for me its such a deeply hurtful thing. Clearly I mustn’t be good enough. These days I find Im torn between wanting to spend time with friends and avoiding it altogether. I cant help but feel so jealous of other peoples lives and relationships. I get that you cant see problems people might have but I think these people are so lucky for having something good, even if only for a short period of time. People always say having a partner isn’t everything, but for me its pretty important. I think its a pretty reasonable thing to want in life. The older I get the more stressed and upset I become because I feel like an absolute failure of life. It doesn’t help when I get constantly asked when am I going to find a boyfriend. It makes me feel even more worthless and I struggle to hold back the tears. Life is pretty shit when you have no one to share it with. Sometimes I have great experiences or see beautiful things but what’s the point if Im the only one seeing it. Im just sick of feeling this way all the time but really cant see things changing

roseose I've never felt more alone
  • replies: 3

I don't know if it's the isolation, or just my head, but I have never felt so alone in my life, and it's not fair. I should be happy, I've come so far from negative things in my life, and I'm still just so sad. I feel like I don't have anybody to tal... View more

I don't know if it's the isolation, or just my head, but I have never felt so alone in my life, and it's not fair. I should be happy, I've come so far from negative things in my life, and I'm still just so sad. I feel like I don't have anybody to talk to beside my boyfriend, and even though he's happy to help me, I feel like I'm just dragging him down and he doesn't understand, and I've stopped bothering with trying to ask him for help. He always says that his friends are my friends too, but I'm never invited into the conversations, nor have I been invited anywhere with them in the past unless by my boyfriend. Once when I tried to ask, I was sort of just told that "oh... you can come if you really want to, i guess", which just made me feel more unwelcome. I feel like I'm just a person who happens to be there, like a side character in a movie or something, and this hasn't been making mental health feel any better. I feel unwanted. I have nobody to talk to, and I feel like my mental health is just getting worse and worse. I can't even be bothered to make myself breakfast anymore, or brush my teeth some days. I just feel so alone, and I don't know what to do.

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