Young people

A space for people aged 12-25 to discuss life. If you’re over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect.

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romantic_thi3f Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies
  • replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are i... View more

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

Sophie_M NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first
  • replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindfu... View more

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

All discussions

Kukoy My friend is depressed, defeatist and self-defeating
  • replies: 7

Hi! Me and my friend recently finished Year 12. He behaviour has been concerning to me for a while now. For example, he refused to look at his scores on tests and assignments (even practice tests), even if his scores were actually pretty good. He wou... View more

Hi! Me and my friend recently finished Year 12. He behaviour has been concerning to me for a while now. For example, he refused to look at his scores on tests and assignments (even practice tests), even if his scores were actually pretty good. He would often say phrases like "I hate myself" as well, and used to talk about suicide a lot. He assured me he would never actually kill himself saying he is "too much of a b**** to actually kill himself", however this just makes me even more concerned for his mental state! I tried encouraging him to seek professional help, but he always refused, citing that he believed it wouldn't help him. I'm not sure exactly how aware his parents are of his mental state, but I know they are at least somewhat aware as they bought him a dog a while back specifically to help him in that regard (which worked for a while, but not permanently). I talked with him a fair bit previously, but never took further action because I thought he was just stressed with the pressure of Yr12 exams, but now school has ended, it has started getting worse. He really liked a girl so our group encouraged him to ask her on a date. He eventually did and she agreed, but was busy on the weekend he asked, and now him and her can't meet up this week or next week, so he took that to mean she just said yes to be polite but doesn't really like him, saying things like "I've given up" and threatening to block her. Regardless, I think he believes no-one likes him even though he is actually intelligent, very physically apt, and good looking. We play games together and often he brings up the subject of how sad his life is, and how he has "given up" (with regards to the girl). I just want to help him but sometimes I feel I am saying the wrong things or other times I feel guilty for not helping him more. Sorry for the long post!

Creative1 Stress due to ATAR
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone this is my first time talking. There is 2 days left till I get my ATAR and I feel really overwhelmed. I tired talking to my parents but they don’t really pay that much attention to things like that and I am really worried for my result an... View more

Hi everyone this is my first time talking. There is 2 days left till I get my ATAR and I feel really overwhelmed. I tired talking to my parents but they don’t really pay that much attention to things like that and I am really worried for my result and I don’t know who to talk to anymore. All my other friends are smart and will easily achieve a good score but I am scared of being compared against them and disappointing my parents how do I deal with this.

continuousventer ongoing career dilemma
  • replies: 2

Hi beyondblue community, 2020 was difficult and good to me at the same time. I ended up having to drop a unit because of the emotional abuse I got at home from my mum. And then I failed a unit and was placed on conditional status. Conditional status ... View more

Hi beyondblue community, 2020 was difficult and good to me at the same time. I ended up having to drop a unit because of the emotional abuse I got at home from my mum. And then I failed a unit and was placed on conditional status. Conditional status means that I can still study my degree. However, if I fail 50% or more of my course load, I will get terminated from my OT degree. My main problem was not practicising enough for a must pass exam. During the holidays, I have been making the pros and cons for my OT degree. It is a AQF 8 qualification. I was told by the accessibility officer that OT is a hard degree and that I might want to consider another course. She was concerned about my ongoing/complex trauma. The thing is I would like to be in the helping profession. However, I also feel like I'm just not 'ready' for OT too. Mainly because the psychologist told me how abusive my household really is when all this time I've been denying it as a coping mechanism. I feel like I don't suit the image of a health professional. My life is not perfect. I feel like going to university has exacerbated my trauma. I get really worried that I'm not in the right course and that I'm making things more difficult for myself w my trauma past. I feel like OT is unrealistic for me. I have considered other courses like nursing, social work etc. However, I will need to get back on good standing to switch. It seems like I have thought this through. I just wish I didn't feel so helpless.

GirlWithBigDreams Loneliness/Having No Friends/Not Fitting In
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone, I recently changed schools and pretty much everyone in my class are a huge friendship group that constantly go out together and ignore me/leave me out of everything and it's really made me question my worth/capabilities of making frie... View more

Hello everyone, I recently changed schools and pretty much everyone in my class are a huge friendship group that constantly go out together and ignore me/leave me out of everything and it's really made me question my worth/capabilities of making friends. At the beginning of the year people were throwing parties with older teens, drinking and that really scared me because I didn't know anyone well enough, and then basically I got left out forever for not going to the party, I am completely disconnected. The lockdown made it so much worse because I cannot keep in contact online with them because "I'm not close with them" and they have seperate group chats. It feels terrible because it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me (or I question my worth/talent/capabilities) for being left out all the time because I'm supposed to identify with my class/people my age and that class is basically sorta my whole world/life right now, and yet I'm not apart of it. I'm confident and friendly basically anywhere outside of school, I am not shy and do public-speaking related things constantly, whilst when I go to school or see the student's social medias, I feel completely subdued and unwell all the time. I've spoken to my teachers many times but it's still the same, and I am just so exhausted of feeling sad/unworthy everyday at school. They are such a big group of friends, they see (or don't even care to see) that I'm struggling that I'm left out and I make the effort to connect myself with them, but NO ONE cares. Apparently I don't talk too much/brag & appear scary because I'm scared to open up to others because I'm afraid I'll get criticised/judged or laughed at, and most worse, ignored. I'm serious all the time and when I'm not, I'm "too happy" and people seem to see me as quirky/weird, everyone talks over me or doesn't bother to listen to what I have to say or let me in on a joke when talking. I really do feel like a loser because everyone has made plans/parties/sleepovers basically throughout the entire holidays and puts it on media everyday, whilst I have kinda no friends after moving schools.. My career depends on the relationships I make with people, and this is making me doubt myself very badly; everyone seems to have known each other previously, whilst I haven't. However, I am hopeful that I will meet new people I can be honest with and not force myself to do things I'm not comfortable with in order to fit in. Please let me know your thoughts/stories

Xanderpanda I shouldn’t feel bad but I do
  • replies: 2

Hey guys, my names Xander. I didn’t really know what to do so figured I’d just post and see what happens. I’m 14 and live an amazing life in Victoria, a live in an amazing house and go to a prestigious private school. But I find I’m sad all the time,... View more

Hey guys, my names Xander. I didn’t really know what to do so figured I’d just post and see what happens. I’m 14 and live an amazing life in Victoria, a live in an amazing house and go to a prestigious private school. But I find I’m sad all the time, I just find myself crying. And I shouldn’t. I have a great life where my biggest issue is who kissed who at a party. I have been diagnosed whit anxiety but it doesn’t feel like that, at least a couple times a day I feel sad and just want to go back to sleep and do nothing. It sucks and I hate it. That’s all I really have to say. I don’t expect anyone to respond to this but whatever. At least I could rant

Wanderlust123 Fitting In
  • replies: 6

Hi all, Something that has been on my mind during my teenage years and early adulthood is the notion that I do not 'fit in'. I like who I am but I am so afraid that other people will not like me that I don't show my true self and struggle to open up.... View more

Hi all, Something that has been on my mind during my teenage years and early adulthood is the notion that I do not 'fit in'. I like who I am but I am so afraid that other people will not like me that I don't show my true self and struggle to open up. I feel like I am living a completely different life than what I should be living right now, like everybody else has been given a memo on how to live their early 20s but I never received it. I don't like to drink or party, I am not constantly hanging out or talking to my friends nor do I sleep around and I still live at home; however these all seem like such important things to people my age. With New Years Eve on the horizon, I keep telling myself I am a loser for not having a big group of friends to go out partying with and drinking. Whereas in reality, I'd much rather stay home with my family and watch the fireworks on TV but I am telling myself people will judge me poorly for not going out. It's funny because I don't necessarily know who these people are, however I often feel there is a collective group of people my age judging me for not being anything like them yet I don't know who they are. The few friends I have accept me for who I am, but as a whole I feel like I don't fit in with my peers. I am wondering if anybody else feels like they do not fit in and hoping somebody else will share their story. Thanks

london1298 Christmas depression
  • replies: 1

I recently had a big fall out with my step mother. When I was staying at my dads house I became really sick and my mum came over because my dad and stepmom were at work, ultimately I ended up in hospital. Later that night I got back to their house an... View more

I recently had a big fall out with my step mother. When I was staying at my dads house I became really sick and my mum came over because my dad and stepmom were at work, ultimately I ended up in hospital. Later that night I got back to their house and my dad told me that my stepmom wouldn't come out and say hello (or check to see how I was...) because she was angry that my mum had been into their house for 5 minutes before driving me to hospital (keep in mind that my stepmom had been over to my mums house many times, swam in our pool etc) even though it was my only option as they had both left for work and left me home alone even though they knew i was having trouble breathing. I later heard an argument between my dad and stepmom where she called my mum some awful names (this is because of her own insecurities and because she hates that my dads family really loves my mum) but I was so disgusted by what I heard that I just left the house and made my dad drive me to my mums. I hadnt spoken to my stepmom until a couple of months before Christmas, she did apologise but that incident was really hard for me to forgive because my mum is so lovely, and even when I told her about the nasty things my stepmom said, she told me to try to be understanding of how my stepmom is feeling, and still has never said a bad word about her. This brings me to the reason i am writing this post. We had christmas lunch today with all of my stepmoms family, who I havent seen since the incident. we all gathered for presents, and all of the children must have gotten 10 presents each from grandparents, uncles and cousins, and my sister and I sat there the entire time and got one small present from my dad and step mum. It isn't the presents/ monetary value that upsets me, but what it represents. My dad and stepmom clearly spent a lot more money on my 'cousins' presents than for their own kids, and my 'grandparents' bought presents for 8/10 grandchildren, excluding me and my sister. it was honestly heartbreaking and humiliating to sit there and watch everyone open these presents and have such a great time, but feel so unwanted and not part of the family. This is a huge difference compared to the last 6 christmases we have spent with my stepmoms family where my sister and I received the same amount of presents as each of the other kids. It worries me that my stepmum has twisted the story and made her family hate me and my sister. and the fact that my dad never said anything really hurt.

Horatia Is it normal to worry about a quiet mind?
  • replies: 2

Normally I have a noisy mind; usually I have music or stray thoughts buzzing in my head all day, not annoying most of the time more comforting. The times when my mind is quiet though is worrying, any thoughts I do end up having in the foreground of m... View more

Normally I have a noisy mind; usually I have music or stray thoughts buzzing in my head all day, not annoying most of the time more comforting. The times when my mind is quiet though is worrying, any thoughts I do end up having in the foreground of my mind end up dissolving into thing like 'Do my co-workers just put up with me?' or 'Would anyone even notice if I go missing? maybe my family would but would it bother them?'. That last thought is one that I've had a couple times and I know that it's not true but when my mind is quiet my thoughts always come back to that question and as such I now worry when ever my mind goes quiet. Is this worry normal? or am i making a mountain out of a mole hill? Please, I couldn't find anything conversations about instances like this. Thank you, Horatia

chagrin kinda lonely looking for advice?
  • replies: 2

Hi, Recently I've felt that I've tried my best to gain a number of opportunities, but haven't achieved a single one. On the other hand, many of my friends have achieved these opportunities and I guess I'm feeling a bit lonely and left out? Sometimes ... View more

Hi, Recently I've felt that I've tried my best to gain a number of opportunities, but haven't achieved a single one. On the other hand, many of my friends have achieved these opportunities and I guess I'm feeling a bit lonely and left out? Sometimes I feel kind of isolated from them, because they're all off talking about something I can't be involved in and I'm kind of just sitting on the sidelines. I feel like I'm just there, not really saying anything, not really doing anything. Then when they've left because of their obligations, I'm afraid to reach out to new people, I'm afraid of being rejected by others to the point that I kind of prefer isolating myself first. Is it bad that I feel sorry for myself? Should I be happy for them and striving to improve myself rather than agonising over what I haven't got? I'm not really looking for consolations or anything, but I'd really appreciate if maybe someone out there has been in the same situation and has some advice to give. Thanks

FlowUnknown Restrained from your dreams by doubts
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I am 21, still young I know, but I have this growing fear that I am wasting my life by not doing the things I want to do. Or rather, I have little idea about how to make these things happen and sometimes I consider just leaving my life comple... View more

Hi all, I am 21, still young I know, but I have this growing fear that I am wasting my life by not doing the things I want to do. Or rather, I have little idea about how to make these things happen and sometimes I consider just leaving my life completely and going to join some hippy commune away from everything. I have a declining social reach as I am quite introverted and many people or old friends don't have time to invest in me so I get forgotten about, I want to start a band but have no connections to like-minded individuals, I have been in a long term relationship and I am beginning to feel trapped in that I want to live a single life again through fears of not meeting more people (but I don't want to ruin a good friendship either), and I want to leave Adelaide to find a more meaningful life purpose but don't know if that's realistic or where to go. I just feel weighted down by my lack of social life and my fear of breaking away from conformity to be free. hope I'm not speaking in tongues and someone can offer their similar situational adivce. Thanks