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Sophie_M How are you feeling about the social media restrictions in Australia for under 16s?
  • replies: 14

Hey everyone With the upcoming Australian social media restriction for under 16-year-olds coming up we want to know what this means for you and maybe even the young people in your life. This conversation is a place for all of us to share how we are f... View more

Hey everyone With the upcoming Australian social media restriction for under 16-year-olds coming up we want to know what this means for you and maybe even the young people in your life. This conversation is a place for all of us to share how we are feeling and what we think the challenges and benefits might be for you or the wonderful young people in our community. Have you thought about how to stay connected with friends you’ve met online? Are you focused mostly on the positives, or the negatives? What do your parents think, and what could they do to support you? Importantly the Beyond Blue Forums are not impacted by these restrictions, we're here for anyone under 16. In short, from December 10 Social Media companies will need to ensure that only people over 16 actively engage with their platforms. There is a lot of information out there which can make it tricky to know what to expect on when it comes into effect. To learn more we think these are a helpful place to start eSafety commissioner + Headspace FAQs. We know this change will impact some more than others, QLife provide anonymous and free LGBTIQ+ support and 13YARN are here for all Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander people. We want to hear your thoughts on how this might impact the mental health of under 16s in both a positive and negative way. The Beyond Blue Forums are a place for constructive and helpful conversation and the regular moderation rules apply which means we look forward to a kind and understanding discussion. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings Sophie M

BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Etho25 I've just decided to leave school and I feel lonelier than ever...
  • replies: 3

Hi, I'm new to this forum and I thought about coming on here to release the stress that I am currently facing as well as to seek advice. About a week ago, I decided to leave school. I am in Year 12, my HSC trials are just around the corner in a coupl... View more

Hi, I'm new to this forum and I thought about coming on here to release the stress that I am currently facing as well as to seek advice. About a week ago, I decided to leave school. I am in Year 12, my HSC trials are just around the corner in a couple of weeks. I am leaving school because mentally HSC is just not working out for me at this point in time, especially with the lockdowns. During my time at this particular school, I have never felt an ounce welcome. On my first day (I joined around the end of Year 10), I was assigned to a "buddy" who was supposed to show me around, but instead someone else did because he probably forgot I was new or who knows... Even so, I still tried to be friends with this person and it felt very one-sided - if I wanted to invite him out he would try to find an excuse every single time. Yet he would only invite me out if I was going out with a group of a couple of people, not just him personally. So one day I realised it's not worth my time. While this was happening, I tried to put myself out there and talk to other students within my cohort which I felt just didn't notice my presence most of the time or used me. So as a result, I felt extremely ostracized and constantly spent my recess and lunch in the library without eating any food or drinking water until I got back home. My school holidays have been nothing better over the past year - a never-ending mess of study and lying in bed wondering if anyone actually knows that I exist besides my parents. I didn't receive any text message from anyone but one message from someone else in my cohort asking about a mark I received from one of my exams. Not a "How are you going?", just straight to that. I am on here because I would like to seek advice or be able to try and find people which I can form friends with on here around my age (16-18). Since the lockdowns have started, all it has been is a replica of holidays - study and complete boredom. My only friends within my life are online and much harder to relate to as all are overseas. The reason for my lack of friends is not wanting to associate with those who are rather immature (I promise I am not critical of people). Hence, partially why I am also leaving school and trying to find another alternative. Some of my online friends are busy themselves and nowadays is harder to converse with them. Does anyone have advice to combat this loneliness while still in lockdown? I am in great need of just someone to talk to. Thank you.

DC27 Confused and hopeless
  • replies: 7

Hi there to whoever reads this, I have never really done this Im nervous to ask for advice and for thoughts on an issue that is plaguing my everyday life and affecting my mental health and has done for a long period of time. I am 25 and have never be... View more

Hi there to whoever reads this, I have never really done this Im nervous to ask for advice and for thoughts on an issue that is plaguing my everyday life and affecting my mental health and has done for a long period of time. I am 25 and have never been in a committed relationship with a girl and am trying to meet someone I can have a connection with like I haven't had before and have someone I can spend time with, get to know and just have by my side. My mental state over the last 12 months has been one of confusions, depression and just generally all over the place largely because of this lonely feeling I have which is caused by these dating issues. I am generally just a pretty normal guy, probably more of an introvert at first until I am comfortable. I feel this is too boring to keep a girl interested. I am not a larger than life character and hugely extroverted and I feel pressure that I need to be this way. I feel beat down and out of hope with all the rejection and times I get in the friend zone when I encounter a dating experience. Typically it feels like I can't seem to spark enough interest in a girl to go beyond a second date as this is usually the time where they either disappear without word of warning or I yet again get the "your nice but..." type of speech. I met someone at the start of this year who I really hit it off with and felt the tide was turning and I was told just out of the blue I am just a friend when her actions were the complete opposite. I have found that situation particularly hard to let go as I feel I did something to lose this opportunity and it has plagued me ever since with feelings of regret. This girl was very well suited to me and it feels since then I am just falling flat on my face everytime and each time I think of that situation and it makes it worse. I know I am still young and should enjoy myself and it will happen when it happens but I feel incredible pressure from friends, family etc to make this happen. I want someone who understands me and actually enjoys being with me but I feel I can't be myself as its not interesting enough. I just feel more and more alone that I have never had someone and there is really no sign at all where this is going to happen as I have been throwing myself out there and I am now at a point where I am turned off because I feel like I've either already met that person and stuffed it up or I won't meet that person because I am not enough for anyone to stay interested. Thanks

Mangopie8 feeling overwhelmed and need tips for self-compassion
  • replies: 14

Hi there, I have just graduated and is applying to graduate school lately. But each day, when I searching for potential supervisors and trying to read their work, I get more and more stressed out. I get overwhelmed by the amount of work I need to do ... View more

Hi there, I have just graduated and is applying to graduate school lately. But each day, when I searching for potential supervisors and trying to read their work, I get more and more stressed out. I get overwhelmed by the amount of work I need to do before the application deadline. I started to feel like the joy and love I have for research starting to fade away. More and more self-doubts start to creep in and everyday I'm just trying to keep my head above water. I try to recognise that not everything is in my control, but 'thinking about the bright side' seems fake and pointless at times. I don't know if anyone felt like this before. I'm really curious about how do people take care of themselves during difficult times, and what are their tips for self-compassion. Kind regards, Mangopie8

nikobee burnt out
  • replies: 4

I'm graduating high school this year, and my hsc starts in a couple weeks, but i can't motivate myself to study at all. every time i get a practice question wrong i just start crying, and i can't do any long answer questions, it's so overwhelming. I ... View more

I'm graduating high school this year, and my hsc starts in a couple weeks, but i can't motivate myself to study at all. every time i get a practice question wrong i just start crying, and i can't do any long answer questions, it's so overwhelming. I feel like i don't remember anything i've studied, and i keep forgetting the most basic stuff. i really need to study now more than ever but i just end up crying for my entire scheduled session. I don't know what to do, any advice is appreciated.

AliC_ Never ending cycle
  • replies: 18

Ok bit of backstory. 6 months ago my boyfriend of s year and a half broke up with me. The full reasons why elude me but I know I messed up somewhere and hurt him and his family. Prior to this he was my best friend and drying our period of dating his ... View more

Ok bit of backstory. 6 months ago my boyfriend of s year and a half broke up with me. The full reasons why elude me but I know I messed up somewhere and hurt him and his family. Prior to this he was my best friend and drying our period of dating his family became my family - I didn’t have a good relationship with mine at the time. And now 6 months on I still feel so awful about it and him. I want to reach out to his family and tell them I’m sorry. I want them in my life again but I can’t do that and I know it’s not healthy especially because my ex and I aren’t as close as we were My dad and my stepmum are also divorcing so that makes me feel super alone as well and my mum lives in a different city and I was really close to her but due to covid and me moving for University I haven’t gotten to see her a lot. i feel like I’m stuck in this constant rut of being alone and not having anyone. My friends are sick of hearings bout my heartbreak. I don’t want to talk to my parents about it and my counsellor has been fantastic but I don’t feel like I’m getting better. my anxiety and depression has always been in a massive cycle and this is the time that I would feel low and to add to that it’s my ex and Is anniversary next week which makes me feel way worse. i also constantly have troubles in my relationships and always seem to ruin them or make something go wrong and am looking at an ADHD diagnosis at 21 yo. However that’s also hard to admit as it could be a number of things such as BPD as well. I’m really just sick of feeling constantly hopeless and alone.

GreenGuy Overcoming envy, perfectionism and low self-esteem
  • replies: 3

Hello, I need some extra wisdom on how to be content with myself. I've talked to my councilor on this issue a few times, read articles (including the inner critic article on this site), watched videos from all sorts of perspectives, but I lack the di... View more

Hello, I need some extra wisdom on how to be content with myself. I've talked to my councilor on this issue a few times, read articles (including the inner critic article on this site), watched videos from all sorts of perspectives, but I lack the discipline to change my thinking. All I know is envy is a primal and toxic emotion that I'd like to suppress, since feeding into it leaves me feeling moody, inadequate and despondent. I already know the two big hints: stop comparing yourself, and, be grateful for what you have. My biggest mistake is often comparing myself to others. I've always had a competitive mindset, usually among my peers. As an example: When I was in school, there was this kid who everyone thought was some amazing rock star (he is don't get me wrong), and being a guitarist myself, my immediate response was, "oh yeah? I can do better!" At that moment I was driven to put on the best gig that school had ever seen, nothing mattered to me, not even my grades, I just wanted my time to shine, which I had, and it remains a highlight of my life. Yet, I struggle to remain content. I'm always vying for something, and if I don't have it, then my negative instincts start kicking in with it's usual drivel. "You're wasting your life away, no one is going to recognize your talent, everyone thinks you're a tool, why aren't you like this person? You're rubbish! bad-bad-bad!" Or sometimes it's a nasty motivator like, "Look at this person, they don't deserve that success, that should belong to ME!" I've grown a serious envy towards one artist in particular, and often have fantasies of surpassing them in fame and being the voice of my generation, always afraid that their recognition will forever outshine me, think like the movie Amadeus with Salieri's jealousy towards Mozart. A bit narcissistic I know. I hate thinking like this. I want to feel joy again, to take pleasure in my hobbies and not compete, no more thinking about what everyone else is doing, and how much they love this other person. I need to stop seeking the validation of a million strangers to compensate for how poorly I think of myself, because despite all the praise I receive, I'm still not happy, I get greedy for more attention! I just want to be content with myself, no more questing for perfection, fame and fortune, which is out of my league anyway, and honestly, materialistic junk won't fill the void. I just want peace of mind. Sorry for rambling.

Comrade34 I Hate Being Myself and Want to Get Better.
  • replies: 5

I've hated every second of being myself for about 10 years now and it's really starting to snowball and affect me in several different ways in my day to day life. But I feel too guilty to seek help since many others have it far worse than I do. It ju... View more

I've hated every second of being myself for about 10 years now and it's really starting to snowball and affect me in several different ways in my day to day life. But I feel too guilty to seek help since many others have it far worse than I do. It just feels like all the stress, anxiety, depressed thoughts and my self-hatred has been bottling up for years now and I don’t know how much longer I can keep these thoughts repressed, I’m also too scared to speak to my friends and family about my mental health issues. I don’t want to weird them out since when I am usually around people, I put on a façade of someone who is a happy-go lucky, sometimes smartass, who is in general an optimistic person. The few times I have cracked this façade around other people such as my dad the support from them has been less than optimal and its clear that they want me to go back to the way I ‘normally’ am. I’m not sure what to do anymore I feel like no one cares about me and no one will ever love me I just want to feel happy or not feel at all anymore. I used to think that I can still be useful to people which has kind of stopped me from taking any extreme actions against myself but lately that feeling is being eroded away. Sorry for the rant but any advice you can give me regarding how I’m feeling will be greatly appreciated.

abit_lost_rn Dealing with deep thoughts and overthinking
  • replies: 4

Hi. Just come here to talk about it, see others' viewpoints. My name is sam, and I am on here to talk about my anxiety. Basically, since I was young I have struggled with overthinking and my deep passion. It's like there's a deep desire that can neve... View more

Hi. Just come here to talk about it, see others' viewpoints. My name is sam, and I am on here to talk about my anxiety. Basically, since I was young I have struggled with overthinking and my deep passion. It's like there's a deep desire that can never be filled. Feels like I'm lifting a boulder over my head at times, my mind turns on me a lot, but I never show it and I often feel like its hard to show but easy to feel. I had an alright childhood, but my parents used to fight a lot and my dad was very inconsistent in the way he behaved, with him often threatening my mum and being overly focused on his own spirituality. Adversity has followed me everywhere as well. I come from a religious family and I feel like It messed me up a bit, because most people arent spiritual. My mum has it hard, as she's single, works full time, and looks after all my various siblings. I don't know how to find a sense of peace in myself and I feel like people don't understand me. The first abit of my life i was fine, until i got close to the first partner I had, and I realized how overly emotional I was. So far its been a solo ride, and I have figured out the issues with-in. I feel a deep sense of confusion with god, why am I so afraid of love when im so good at giving and being selfless.

759302027 I think I actually am doing it for attention
  • replies: 4

Hi, I don't know what's wrong with me or if anything's wrong at all but I think I'm doing it for attention. I know everyone says that but I genuinely think I am. Some days I feel absolutely fine but then some days I'm horribly anxious for no reason a... View more

Hi, I don't know what's wrong with me or if anything's wrong at all but I think I'm doing it for attention. I know everyone says that but I genuinely think I am. Some days I feel absolutely fine but then some days I'm horribly anxious for no reason at all and some days I feel just empty inside and feel like I'm just distracting myself with everyday activities. But I also don't know if I'm actually feeling these things or just making them up for a diagnosis because i think it'll make me feel special. I am currently in therapy for anxious thoughts but I can't really seem to tell them anything aside from surface level stuff. The thing that concerns me is that whenever I hear/read about a mental disorder I try and match myself to it and imagine myself getting diagnosed with it. Also whenever I hear about someone doing something due to their mental illness, i automatically think "maybe I can do that then I'll get diagnosed" but then I get really sad and scared that I thought that. Because I think these things any time I am actually feeling sad or anxious or numb or whatever, I tell myself that I'm just doing it for attention and because I want a diagnosis. I have actually had anxiety attacks but I don't know if I actually had them or if I was doing it on purpose. I don't tell anyone any of this but I imagine myself having conversations where I do. I know theres a condition where people believe they have certain mental disorders but this isn't like that. I don't believe I have them I seem to want to have them for attention?? Maybe I'm just an attention seeker i dunno. I'm just really tired and i wanna know if there's something wrong or if i'm making it up. I also feel as if I can't tell my therapist any of this as that would confirm I'm just doing it for attention and trying to get a diagnosis from them.

CoOpEr123 Curvy and feeling terrible
  • replies: 4

Hi there, I’m a 21 year old Asian girl I’ve never been self conscious about my body even with the side comments and backhanded compliments from my Asian family all these years growing up. I have a very carefree personality so I drop it all, but recen... View more

Hi there, I’m a 21 year old Asian girl I’ve never been self conscious about my body even with the side comments and backhanded compliments from my Asian family all these years growing up. I have a very carefree personality so I drop it all, but recently I have gained weight in the pandemic. I used to be trimmer (never was skinny) but now I have a gut and flabby arms and I can’t seem to get it back to flat no matter how consistently I go to the gym. Admittedly, I do not have a strict training regime nor a strict diet but I have absolutely been watching what I eat. I look at myself every day in the mirror and think that no other 21 year old girl looks like this, especially no other Asian girl. Everything seems to sag and ooze and I just hate my body some days. I get upset with myself because I’m beginning to scrutinise other Asian women and feeling frustrated that they can wear shorts and skirts and baggy things and still look lovely. I don’t like the jealousy and defensiveness I’m now using to observe people. I would love to find a partner and a meaningful relationship but I keep thinking men will be put off when they see me in person. My previous partners have loved my body but it doesn’t stop these thoughts from consuming me. I keep telling myself men will only like slim women and that I just look disgusting in all my photos. My mother means well but sometimes I’ll show her who I’m chatting to, and she’ll say ‘oh he’s handsome, good that you have a month or so to lose a couple more kilos for your date’ and it just crushes me. My friends love me and genuinely think I look great, but I’m so conscious about being the one that sticks out because I’m bigger. I just know I’m bigger and I can’t find the confidence to be no matter how hard I try. Please will you tell me your personal stories if you can relate, and how I can overcome this?? How do I stop obsessing over this? I used to love my body but now I feel revolting and ugly, even though I am picking up healthier habits and physically feeling well. This is not how I thought my 20s would play out