Alright, where do i even begin? This is my first post, but long story
short I am going through a seriously depressing stage at the moment.
Like everyone I have made my mistakes, some of which seemed like a good
idea at the time but have only now come...
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Alright, where do i even begin? This is my first post, but long story
short I am going through a seriously depressing stage at the moment.
Like everyone I have made my mistakes, some of which seemed like a good
idea at the time but have only now come back to haunt me. After a failed
and self-destructive relationship in march I went into a dating/
sleeping around phase. I did some things I'm not proud of and I know I
hurt a lot of people. In mid May I met a girl from uni, and after only a
week she thought I was her boyfriend. I made the severe mistake of not
correcting her on this for 1) i didnt want to hurt her like I had with
others. and 2) I just wanted someone, ANYONE to be intimate with.
Somewhat simultaneously I met a second girl at uni, far better looking
than the first, and a fair bit more touchy feely even when we had only
just met. Skip ahead a few weeks, and I am really close with girl 2, we
kissed at uni before we left to go home. However, as soon as I got home
I called girl 1 and she came over, we confirmed that it wasn't a
relationship and just fun. I was the first guy she had ever been with.
Now, a week later girl 2 wont speak to me for reasons still unknown and
I turned girl 1 away because she suddenly wanted a relationship at the
exact same time I was EXTREMELY annoyed and depressed and just wanted
some time alone to recover.On friday the 20th I intentionally self
harmed. The very next day, I was told that my dad would be sentenced in
a weeks time and serve a jail term of 1-2 years. He is/was the sole
provider for our family and now its my job to step up and take control.
Despite the traumatic news, I still felt in control, as if my one off
bout of self harm was the end of my depression. After a difficult nights
sleep, I woke up today feeling as if i was on the verge of tears and
have felt this way for the last 12 hours. My mind has been a mess, I
cant focus and my thoughts are running through the thousands of mistakes
i've made, failed relationships and losing friends from just the past
few weeks. I wish I had someone other than family, who is already
suffering enough to just talk to. Not for support or solutions, but just
some company. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work
offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm.
At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are
encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please
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