Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Step parents putting you down

replies: 1

Everything about dad's house is great. Big house, nice car, rooms, clothes... Pretty much anything I want. But I don't go to dad's much. I had the choice but I'd rather live at mum's house than dad's because of my step-mum. She is always putting me down or I am getting into trouble for the littlest things. Sometimes, on the days I go to dads, i have a breakdown. I visit the counsellor, I cry I talk to my friends but no one can change anything. They just try and convince me that everything is going to be ok. My step mum used to get angry at me for telling my mum the things she would say to me because my mum would get angry at her and then my step mum would put it all back on me. So I stopped telling her and started telling dad. After that things would get better. But then my step mum would put all of the stuff dad told her back on me. I was getting in trouble for telling someone that I was in trouble. It has been going on since I was eight and I decided to stop telling dad. Instead I tried to keep out of trouble. I'd sit and read in my room all day... Only to get told off for hiding away. So I'd ask if there was anything I could do, if not, sit upstairs so I wasn't hiding. Then I got told off for invading her privacy. I'd then start to follow my stepsister because she never gets In trouble... Then I got told off for not leaving my stepsister alone even though my stepsister never at one point said anything to me. I don't know what to do! I'd spend time with dad but he is always working. He has left her a few times because of how she has treated me but she would always come back and promise not to be mean again. Yeah... That happened. I am really thin but she has told me that I NEED TO PUT ON WEIGHT! I can't win! I would want to go out and work in the shed with my dad on his car but would get the response "I thought you were a girl why would you want to go work on a car" even when I haven't done ANYTHING, I get huge sighs and mean looks. Everything I do has about thirty thoughts in it. When I'm making breakfast I'll think "hmm, I'm not going to have cereal because she said that I make it too runny even though that is how I like it, I'm not going to have cheese and vegemite because she said it was gross, I'm not going to have honey because she has told me that that is for weekends only even though my stepbrother has it a lot, I'm not having jam because it's hers and dads only so I think I'll have toast with peanut paste... Like everyother day" and this happens with everything. I try and walk quietly because I have gotten told I am too loud when I walk and I have gotten told that I walk to slowly, but I have also been told I walk to fast down the stairs. This is so much writing and I'm sure that their are stories that are much more important than mine but I just don't know what to do! I am always worrying and that gets me in more trouble but if I don't worry I get in more trouble! How can this stop! I've told her that I worry because of her but she says I am lying! She always says I'm "playing games" and being "manipulative". Why? GOD KNOWS! I don't understand. I just want her to be normal or me to stop getting in trouble and worrying so I can see my dad as much as I want to.

I am 14 and I think i have social anxiety or co-dependancy please help me

replies: 4

ok so i have grown up not having friends but all of a sudden there have been activities that i have had to go to that require being with people and doing social things. Everytime outside of school when someome asks me to come over i say no because i get really bad anxiety over it and im not sure why. This anxiey has happened when i went to a new school and i couldnt even get out the car. I have always been scared to go on trips and stuff. my parents seem to be involved in this. can i not ever be without them? how do i get better and become a more independent person please help. some one asked my over today and i said no because of the anxiety i have and it looked like they were having a fun time. every public place i go i feel like some one i know will come up to me and ask me to hang out and i wouldnt know what to say help

Not sure what I'm going through

replies: 2

Hi, I'm a 19 year old female. Currently studying in university. Life is ok for me, studies are going well, I have good friends, I have a boyfriend. Family life isn't the greatest. My parents are pretty much separated but we all kind of live together, it's a little messy but it's been like this since I was born so I think I'm kind of used to it. Sometimes I feel as though I'm kind of stuck in a rut. It's an effort to keep up with life and stay happy. I don't know if I'm stressing about second year of uni, or if it's just family stuff or if it's normal. I try to blame it on PMS but it happens really often. I stress about everything, it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I find it hard to get excited about things. I tell myself that I have everything going right for me. I'm so much more fortunate than so many other people but I just can't shake it off.

I think I have depression..

replies: 4

So as the title says, I think I have depression.. I probably don't but I felt like posting something because I feel really down all the time.. Basically, I've been feeling sad and stuff for probably over a year now, my doctor said I have anxiety and I have anxiety attacks and stuff but I don't know how to deal with that either. So the reason I think I'm depressed is that I just want to sleep all the time, I'm always tired and I've been tithe doctor about it a lot and had blood tests and stuff but I'm fine, I hate school, I don't want a job and have no plans for the future (I'm probably just lazy lol), and to be honest I just kinda feel done with life. (I'm not gonna kill myself). I don't know, I don't have anyone to talk to so I thought I'd come here, I don't really know what else to say..

At a loss.. despression and binge eating

replies: 2

Hi all.I have decided to join BeyondBlue as I desperately feel like I need to connect with other people who are going through similar difficulties to me. Maybe I will find the support and advice I have been searching for.I am 24 years old. I have been battling eating disorders since I was about 16. As a child my family moved to Italy. In highschool I tried to get thinner and fit in (Italian girls are naturally fairly slim, though very few deprive themselves of food or have eating disorders). Around 18/19 years old I developed a bulimic tendency This progressed into Binge Eating Disorder - and I went from 44kg (at my thinnest) to 65kg. At this point I was at Uni in the UK and started losing touch with who I was, who I wanted to be and those around me. I stayed in my room whenever I didn't have lessons and started ordering takeouts. I exercised less and less. I always binge watching TV shows/movies (mainly on my computer).After Uni I moved back with my parents in Italy for a few months, developed good rhythms and started feeling mentally and physical more sane.I then moved back to Australia to pursue my career in the theatre (I am now a freelance Stage Manager). The change seemed to jolt me out of my bad habits for a few months. However, I was living with a seclusive great-aunt I barely knew, and after a while I began isolating myself and eating in my room again. I put on what weight I had taken off.I then started a job with a play festival which involved me working most days. I met lots of fun people, who accepted me for who I was, not knowing the fitter thinner me of the past. I became more positive and energetic, and during this festival I met an inspiring young actor who became my long-term boyfriend. I still binged every so often, and eventually confessed my secret to him. He has been incredibly supportive, and has not once accepted my attempts to push him away, fueled by my guilt at being a burden to him.We now live together. Over the past 2 years I have become more fit and taken off a substantial amount of weight (I am now approx. 52kg). However, I cannot shake the feelings of hopelessness, worry, sadness, loneliness and worthlessness that continue to invade my life.I still binge. Sometimes more regularly, sometimes less. I tend to stress and worry about many things - money, if I have made the right decision in my career (I deal best with my problems when I am in a healthy rhythm, which the random hours of my job rarely permits), and all the small jobs I need to do in my everyday life. I often feel lonely and experience low self esteem, as all my friends from the past are abroad and all my friends in Australia I have made through my boyfriend - none of them particularly strong friendships. I feel as if he is popular, and the person others want to hang out with. He is also very friendly with other girls (he gets on better with girls than guys) which often makes me jealous and as if there are so many better girls out there for him. I also have days when I feel uncontrollably sad and hopeless for no particular reason.I do not know whether my eating disorders have stemmed from these feelings of depression (??) or vice verse. The depression often leads to me binging, and the binge increases my depression.I have gone to see a therapist for my Binge Eating Disorder, and I spent a fair bit of money. Though she gave me some useful coping techniques and we explored possible causes, I do not think this helped me very much. I stopped going to the therapist after a few months.I am at a point where I do not know what to do. I have talked extensively with my boyfriend and my parents. I have opened up to a few friends. I still do not see a way out. I cannot continue living like this, and I know that this will eventually destroy my relationship with my boyfriend, or make his life sad in a way I would hate myself for.Can anyone relate to my story? Can anyone suggest how I should move forward?Love to you all,erin89

Am I depressed or just really sad?

replies: 2

I am a 16 year old girl, and in recent weeks I have been feeling very sad a lot of the time. Sometimes when I am alone, I start crying, and then I feel down for a long time afterwards. I have been struggling to get to sleep at night since late November - originally I just thought that was due to my boyfriend and I breaking up at the time, but now I still can't get to sleep for sometimes hours. I am scared of just lying in bed before I go to sleep, because I am afraid I will start to think about things that will make me sad. I am exhausted most of the time, and in the past week I have been getting bad headaches. I have also been getting more and more stressed. Mum and Dad often ask if I'm ok (that's not new though) but now I always say that I'm just tired. Sometimes I just want to cry, when I'm not alone, but I will smile as if I'm fine. And sometimes I do feel perfectly fine - this sadness isn't around all the time. But I would like to know if these are indications of depression, or if I'm just complaining about something normal? Please help.

Help me, I'm 14

replies: 15

I have had anxiety for as long as I remember, but this year it has gotten really bad and lately everyday seems even more worse. I'm constantly short of breath, my heart racers a lot, I will let something worry me for over an hour and it could something so small but it's all I can think about, chewing my mouth, having trouble sleeping, stressing heaps.... And more. It's the holidays and I just want to have fun but my anxiety has gotten so bad and I don't know what to do. I use to faint and stuff so mum took me to the doctor but the medicine just made me dizzy and made it worse, phycologists don't help either help me

Numb and lost.

replies: 1

Okay, I'll start with a bit of background (it may be long, so I apologise in advance) I've had anxiety and depression for over 10 years, which have been up and down. My panic attacks have lessened and I can do things I couldn't do when I was younger (eg. catch a bus), but I am feeling more miserable these days, even though I have so much to be happy about. I have seen my GP, a couple psychologists (which I don't prefer, because they're expensive, and I find they try to shove knowledge in my face rather than sharing personal experiences. Breathing techniques don't always work for anxiety sufferers, and it's not that simple to change my negative thinking), and numerous counsellors (high school counsellors were great). I've also tried a few medications, once when I was younger (and then changed to St John's Wort as a natural option for anxiety) and again last year for depression, which I have since stopped because one type made me completely emotionally numb (so numb that I was on my first overseas flight and I felt nothing) and I had nausea every single day. So now, I am stuck with nothing again (nausea has remained, unfortunately). So, what I'd like to get out of my system, is that I am feeling miserable, and I guess numbness yet again. I have nothing to be sad about; I live in a good home with my family, I have a loving partner (who is currently living overseas but will be here next year), I have some great close friends (who I don't see often, but that's how I like it), nice things, a job (that I'm not entirely sure about, but it's an income), and I have nothing physically wrong with me (to my knowledge). But for some reason I am feeling lack of enjoyment (didn't even enjoy Christmas as much as I used to) and no motivation to do anything. I'd rather sleep my days away than go out, I've had to announce on my Facebook that I am going into social withdrawal because a couple of my friends have become too frustrating to be around (I can't deal with hanging out every week), I want to quit my job because I don't feel like I fit in and it is a bit far away for my liking, I am too tired to make effort to do things or make myself look nice, I feel so low compared to others, and I guess I am losing the will to even be alive. There's nothing going for me, I failed high school over a guy, I have tried Uni but dropped out because of failing all but one subject, I tried TAFE but stopped going because I didn't fit in and don't know how to socialise with people who are different to me, my job gives me very little money therefore I cannot save money, and my partner is living far away at the moment so I can't just call him or hug him when I want to. Also just to note, I don't do phone calls, which makes some things very difficult. Oh, and in regards to the 'lost' part, I don't have any direction in life, and I don't know what I really want to do. When I was younger I wanted to be an artist, author, graphic designer, something great, but those dreams kinda diminished. Then I wanted to do translating/interpreting because I am learning Japanese, but I failed at Uni so I can't do that. TAFE was all about a nail tech course, which I forgot about due to socialising issues, and now I'm realising I'm not that good anyway. the only job I can do is cleaning, and I don't want to do that anymore. It's only my 6th year of being a cleaner (through various jobs) but I'm tired of it. I would rather do nothing than clean up people's crap...at least in hotels they treat you with more respect than where I'm at now (airport). Anyway, that's my rant-thing. I do have a question (maybe more, depending if I think of anymore as I type this) Has anyone ever just quit a job purely because you don't want to do it anymore, with no backup? Was it okay? I think I want to quit my job, and just relax for a bit before trying something else. How do I go about looking for a path in life? It is just so difficult, it's like I'm wandering through a forest and getting nowhere. The moment I feel like I'm coming across a village of civilisation and hope, it disappears like a mirage. I'm 24 years old, but I'm feeling so old already. Also, am I being stupid and selfish for being so miserable with no real reason? It's just so difficult to find anything positive about myself to make me happier. If you read everything, thank you, I really appreciate it. Hopefully I covered everything.

i'm starting to realise i need help but i don't know how to get it

replies: 1

i've just been so, so miserable lately, and i brushed it off as being stressed about uni and sad after "breaking up" with my former best friend at the start of the year, but now i'm on uni break and it's been a full year since said friend incident, and things just aren't getting any better. it's been the worst year of my life. i'm just sad and anxious all of the time, even when i'm doing things i want to do - i have a friend coming over tomorrow for a movie night we've been planning for ages, and i'm sitting up on the internet because i'm too anxious about it to go to bed. i know there's nothing to be worried about, but i just worry all the damn time anyway and i can't take it anymore. i know i shouldn't hate myself like this, be so disgusted with the person that i am, and that i shouldn't be scared to see my best friends? it's stupid and i hate that i can't jsut shake it off like anyone else. i hate that i overanalyse everything and that i'm so awkward and ugly and i always feel like i'm that person that people just invite along for politeness. no one ever seems to really want me around. i'm nobody's first choice i know i should try to get some sort of professional help for all this, but i just don't know how. i mean, i know the steps, i've read every site on depression and anxiety that there is, but it all boils down to me telling people that i'm not as okay as i pretend to be, and i'm so scared of what they'll think of me, like i'm weak or weird or they'll be condescending or something about it. i don't know. i just know that i can't think of anything more intimating than telling my parents that i've got issues like this. i just don't know and it's so frustrating all the time because i know i've got a problem here and i know there might things i can do to improve the situation but i'm too scared to act on anything. so. thank you for reading, i guess, it's nice to be able to say these things to someone, if not out loud. sorry if i'm in the wrong forum or i'm doing this all wrong or something. i just want to talk to someone about this.

Really thinking about it..

replies: 4

Okay about two weeks ago on Sunday my girlfriend of almost two years changed her relationship status on Facebook to single and I didn't even get anything from her..I as anyone would got a little upset but I didn't like yell or anything I don't ever yell..She says she just doesn't wanna be in this relationship anymore but then I found that she was on a dating website for about two months before she dumped me...I just felt like crap the second I found that out..then my car stops working out of no where..then my aunt has a heart attack...I've already had one aunt pass away...I don't know if I could handle another one..but back to the girl..She said there might be a chance of us being back together and everyone I talk to says she is just awful but I love her..We had planned on getting married...so if the opportunity comes I would probably get back together with her..but I am still talking to her and tonight she told me she likes this guy and I just...my heart felt like it's gonna just stop...I am having thoughts of suicide...I can't take her liking someone...I know that sounds selfish...I would just like some help...

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Step parents putting you down replies: 1

I am 14 and I think i have social anxiety or co-dependancy please help me replies: 4

Not sure what I'm going through replies: 2

I think I have depression.. replies: 4

At a loss.. despression and binge eating replies: 2

Am I depressed or just really sad? replies: 2

Help me, I'm 14 replies: 15

Numb and lost. replies: 1

i'm starting to realise i need help but i don't know how to get it replies: 1

Really thinking about it.. replies: 4