Young people

I don't know how I feel

replies: 1

I am struggling to write this because I don't even know how I am feeling. It's a feeling that I can barely explain, which makes it all the more frustrating. This year I started Grade 10, and to be honest, it has been my most favorite school year. I h... View more

I am struggling to write this because I don't even know how I am feeling. It's a feeling that I can barely explain, which makes it all the more frustrating. This year I started Grade 10, and to be honest, it has been my most favorite school year. I have some great teachers, I enjoy most of my subjects and I am a straight A student. However, it has also been my worst year. I know, confusing right? I think I have come to the conclusion that most of my problems stem from school, along with some other things like the way I look and family issues, that I have never discussed with anybody. As I have said previously, I am a straight A student and that makes me incredibly happy. Other classmates think I'm smart, teachers like me and congratulate me on my achievements. With the straight A's, however, comes a lot of studying and stress and anxiety. During the middle of this year I had my first panic attack and have had a few since then. When I get them, which is mostly during class, I have to focus all my energy into not crying in front of everyone and I act very isolated. As soon as I leave the class room the panic attack begins fully. Another thing is that I feel so pressured to continue to get excellent grades. Teachers expect me to get A's and my friends all call me a nerd or geek. I feel if I don't get an A, I won't be smart. Also, on the outside I look like I have a pretty good life. I have a group of friends, excellent grades an amazing mother. On the inside, I am a mess. Barely making it through the school day without having a break down and crying myself to sleep some nights. I've always had this plan to finish school with an OP1 which is the highest grade you can get, and then going to Uni to study a Bachelor of Advanced Science, but then it just all overwhelms me and I tell myself that I'm going to be a failure no matter what. I don't know what to do anymore or how to deal with how I'm feeling. I don't even know how I'm feeling! I truly don't know what I want to get out of writing this but I just need to express how I'm feeling to at least someone.

Am I going crazy?

replies: 2

I have always suffered from anxiety - since I was 15 but in the last 2 weeks it has become so intense I am afraid to leave the house or be alone. I feel like this feeling of constant anxiety is never going to end and my brain/head physically feel lik... View more

I have always suffered from anxiety - since I was 15 but in the last 2 weeks it has become so intense I am afraid to leave the house or be alone. I feel like this feeling of constant anxiety is never going to end and my brain/head physically feel like they are going to explode or something.. I feel like I'm going crazy from it! Throughout the day I get these really intense dark thoughts that make me feel so empty. I was prescribed antidepressants - but I am scared to take them because I've never taken antidepressants before. My anxiety doesn't always reach to a point where I have a panic attack it's more of a constant feeling of anxiety and it's really exhausting. My symptoms are feeling like I need to get out of my own body, nausea, heart racing, dizziness, loss of concentration, can't breath etc, I really need some help

Anxiety beginning to take over my life

replies: 3

Hi Everyone, Ive never posted on here / done anything like this before but its time i did. I have been suffering from anxiety for many years but have never had the courage to do anything about it. Its gotten to the point where i cant sign piece of pa... View more

Hi Everyone, Ive never posted on here / done anything like this before but its time i did. I have been suffering from anxiety for many years but have never had the courage to do anything about it. Its gotten to the point where i cant sign piece of paper in front of someone without feeling like my whole world is falling apart. I go to extremes to aviod any situation that might bring on my uncontrollable feelings of anxiety. I've tried many techniques to try and calm myself down in these situations but have now accepted that i have absolutely no control over my anxiety once it gets to a certain level. I have now started to make life decisions based on avoiding my fears. Its really starting to make me feel completly underwhelmed and hopeless. I have gone to the doctors many times but can never get the courage to say something about my anxiety. Doctors happen to be one of the many things that make me very anxious and i feel like i cant express the extent of what im really feeling to them or even bring it up at all. Any tips for expressing issues to your doctor would be appreciated. Thanks, J

I don't know why I hate my life . . .

replies: 4

Firstly, let's just get something out of the water. I have been to counselling and sought help, in fact I'm probably what you would consider on the road to recovery. But here's a quick introduction, I am a grade ten student, I work twenty hours a wee... View more

Firstly, let's just get something out of the water. I have been to counselling and sought help, in fact I'm probably what you would consider on the road to recovery. But here's a quick introduction, I am a grade ten student, I work twenty hours a week, I play guitar (primarily fingerpicking solos), I am a A-grade student, I have what many would consider a good group of friends, and I have no problems getting up in front of a crowd and talking most of the time. I guess from the outside my life is pretty good, and I'm not going to say that it's not. Three days ago I got back from Japan, I cried when I left my host family there and I hope to one day visit them again. I came home a baby chicken (that I had no idea about) and to friends hugging me and people saying they missed me. But less than twenty four hours later these feelings are simply back again, it's a mixture of depression, self-hate and overall dissatisfaction with life. And I really don't know why, because my life has been pretty lucky. Honestly since getting back I have gotten a big urge to travel, part of me wants to simply back my bags and never come back. I like to think I would't miss many people (which is for the most part true) Even my closest friends can sometimes be taken back a bit by my bluntness and sometimes cold-heartedness. It's almost more a personality trait for me than a side-affect of depression, I have been a sad person since as far back as I can remember. But I guess what I am trying to get at is, I have been depressed (sever enough to warrant treatment and concern) for the past the few months. Yet is has been a part of my life since as long back as I can remember. It just feels that I am a complete failure. Through the crying and tears of problems that I almost seem to make up and the friends that I tend to simply leave in the dust I'm not really sure where my problem stems from. I can't seem to find the reason for feeling like this. And I apologise if the explanation about my life has been rather vague and ranty, this is just something I've wanted to get off of my chest. But I guess the question is. - Does anyone else feel this way? - Is there anything I can do to help explain this to my friends? - Do I really need a reason, or simply a solution? Final note, three of my closest friends suffer from fairly major depression. Maybe that contributes to it but I am not sure. Any input is appreciated, at this point I don't mind

need help understanding

replies: 1

Hello I am 21 years old and a female. I've been dateing myboyfriend now for 8 months. I've had anxiety and depression since I can remember. And I'm lacking alot of information about it as doctors keep throwing medication at me. The things I struggle ... View more

Hello I am 21 years old and a female. I've been dateing myboyfriend now for 8 months. I've had anxiety and depression since I can remember. And I'm lacking alot of information about it as doctors keep throwing medication at me. The things I struggle the most with is my moods. I'm constantly getting angry at my partner for no reason and it's worse when he goes out. It's like I look for something to get angry at. Someday my anxiety gets me down as I worry I'm not good enough, not good looking and I just upset everyone. I have lost many friends and the ones I have left I don't feel comfortable talking too about it. I don't have any hobbies as I cannot be bothered. When me and partner have a fight it's always me starting it and after the fight I just get so worked up cos of how I acted (can't control my emotions) and I get so disappointed in myself. As soon as my partner says he is going out without me my stomach just drops cos I rather be there with him. I just dont know how to control my emotions and what to feel and that makes me anxious and upset. Bipolar and split personality disorder is in my family. I take an antidepressant. I want to be medication free soon. Don't wanna rely on a pill to make me Happy.

my life will never change...

replies: 1

hi, I need to let a few things out and I dont have anyone to talk to about this. I have a few things going on, im 19, turning 20 in a few months, and I hate my life, I just wish it was different. I have had my boyfriend for 3 years now, but he isnt v... View more

hi, I need to let a few things out and I dont have anyone to talk to about this. I have a few things going on, im 19, turning 20 in a few months, and I hate my life, I just wish it was different. I have had my boyfriend for 3 years now, but he isnt very supportive with much, so i dont even bother telling him my problems. I have no friends at all, and i hate that not because I can't make any but because I am not allowed to have any, my mother is against me having friends and going out because they say friends are a bad influence, I just want to live a life like most people my age, going out having friends, meeting people, doing things, I still get treated the same way as when I was 13, and Ive talked to my parents about letting me go out more, and the answer is always NO! or take your younger sister with you, and the rare few times my mum has let me go out, she complain to my sister about how I am such a bad influence, and all I never want to do want she wants, and hearing that makes me not even bother asking, cause i know in her head she is disappointed... All I am allowed to do is go to uni and back home, and see my boyfriend on the weekends for a while. I hate going to uni, it makes me feel so lonely. i started uni last year, i was doing law and i really wanted to be a lawyer, but i couldnt do any of the work, i was always so down and unmotivated, but i really wanted to do well but i couldnt find the energy to do any work. Now I am doing another commerce, and i really enjoy it, but Im going throught the same thing now. I have gained so much weight since Ive finished highschool (20kg) I am 168 and use to weigh 58kg and now i weigh 78kg, and its really lowered my self esteem, I feel so ugly and fat all the time, but eveytime i try to work out I just cry because of letting myself get this big. And what is not helping is my boyfriend I know he is no longer attracted to me, and that saddens me, he no longer holds my hand or shows any signs of affection in public, and we rarely go out, Ive talked to him about it, and he says he loves me no matter how much I weigh, but his actions say otherwise. this probably doesnt even make sense, but its whats bothering me...I want to feel prettier, happier, and maybe live my life a little bit, but at the rate this is going my life is never going to change, sometimes i think i should jus get use to it, but I dont think this is living, i dont know want to do, I am always sad... what should I do? anything would help!

She broke up with me because of my depression.

replies: 2

This girl did stay by me for over a year, and I know I put her through a lot. I always kept pushing her away so I don't blame her for leaving, but now that she is gone I feel that I am back to how I was before I met her. Before I met her I was about ... View more

This girl did stay by me for over a year, and I know I put her through a lot. I always kept pushing her away so I don't blame her for leaving, but now that she is gone I feel that I am back to how I was before I met her. Before I met her I was about a year out of high school, struggling to even get out of bed. I would barley eat or sleep and id always have a heavy feeling in my chest, I wasn't sad, I just didn't feel anything for anyone or myself. I spent from grade 10 to a year after high school like this. Then she started to talk to me online day in day out, and I was actually responding back. Eventually we decided to move in together, and I thought everything was going to be alright, but after about half a year we had a couple fights because id have times where I would start to go back to my old habits and I said a lot of things I should not have said, I was just so scared of loosing her it was bringing the worst out in me again. She eventually couldn't take it any more and we broke up. And I actually feel a whole lot worse now, not only is that feeling in my chest back, I find myself jumping between feeling hate, sadness, loneliness and just broken. On top of that I feel even worse because she is now with another guy only 3 days later. I have been trying to be strong and move on, iv been trying to do fitness, and look for a job, and do a course, and even applied for the army. Only thing, I can feel myself slipping and I think I am going to end up like this forever. I have never wanted to kill myself, and I still don't, but I just never wanted to be born. I don't feel right, and I don't know where to go from here.

My boyfriend's depression got worse, and he doesn't want to hurt me. Should we break up?

replies: 4

Hi everyone, my partner and I met a few months ago. Early in our relationship he told me that he suffered from depression. Recently things have changed immensely between us. He lost his grandfather, his housemates moved out and he has been feeling st... View more

Hi everyone, my partner and I met a few months ago. Early in our relationship he told me that he suffered from depression. Recently things have changed immensely between us. He lost his grandfather, his housemates moved out and he has been feeling stress at uni due to his insomnia affecting his studies. His depression has gotten worse recently. Ive made it very clear that I love him and am always there to support him. Recently he has been distant and not as attentive as he once was. He shuts himself off the world, and can be irritable. He is in therapy and on medication. The other night he and I were talking in bed, he started talking about how he was feeling and ended up leaving in the middle of the night to go for a drive and clear his head. Yesterday, he came by my place and we went for a walk. I presumed what was going to occur. He then said that he didn't think he was good for me, that he treated my poorly, that this relationship was one sided and about him, that he just felt depressed now that anything was hard for him to do. He said he needed to focus on himself at the moment. We decided to take a break and not rush into a break up. If I'm being frank, I felt a sense of relief but also felt sick to my stomach, I'm terribly in love with him and don't want to loose him. I want to be there for him through this tough period, even though it is taxing. I don't want my relationship with him to end, because even though it is tough for both us when he feeling really low I love him, I love all of him and I don't want to loose the connection we have. I already miss him, him cuddling me, having dinner and watching movies, and being with him. I don't know how to feel. Should I let him go? Should we try and work through this? Is his mind made up? Will things return how they once were? kind regards, G96 x

Experiencing depression but loved ones don't understand!

replies: 3

Hello, i read through the forum for a couple of hours trying to find any similar posts as I am needing some help. I can feel myself slipping back into depression again, I have struggled with it most of my life (through parents divorce at 12, the hsc,... View more

Hello, i read through the forum for a couple of hours trying to find any similar posts as I am needing some help. I can feel myself slipping back into depression again, I have struggled with it most of my life (through parents divorce at 12, the hsc, and then every couple of years after that). I just begin to feel really down and upset about everything in my life, work, relationships, my body, and most of all when depression hits I struggle with sleep which makes me feel worse. currently my job is really stressing me out, I run my own business baking and I am stressed about how I will manage to do so much over the next 2 months to Christmas. I tell myself working 7 days isn't why I left my full time job and ask myself constantly am I enjoying it, and then my internal response usually is just 'it's the fear talking you are just scared of succeeding' but sometimes I do wonder did I do this just to get out of what was a toxic work environment before. Sorry if that was confusing I'm not the more clear storyteller. so that is my biggest stress, and when I start to get really upset and depressed my partner of 6 years doesn't know how to deal with me. He doesn't comfort me when I cry unless I am hysterical, even then it is a pat on the arm and he always says 'settle down' which makes me feel like crap. He doesn't want to be around me when I am depressed and doesn't know what to do when I feel like this which to be honest takes me from feeling 4/10 to 1/10. I am not blaming him and it's not his fault, but I need better support from him and I don't know how to get it. from there the vicious mind-f that my brain always goes into when I'm depressed is 'why are you with someone who can't get you through your highs & your lows' and I know it's just me being stupid, I love him so dearly. And then I start to feel even worse because I remind myself that every time I am hysterical like this it puts him off marrying me a bit more, it's something we talked about a bit early on and then it just dragged out from years 3-5 as constantly 'I'm not ready' and if I ever bring it up he will feel the sex hasn't been great lately or we have just had a smal fight. so basically that's where I'm at, I need more support from him and I don't know how to get him to be there for me in a different way to how he is now. Thanks

It taking over my life

replies: 2

I have been suffering for serve anxiety and depression since i was diagnosed at 16, i am now 21 and its like its taking over my life. No matter what i do, what medication i take, who i go see, nothing works. I am now at my second mental break down in... View more

I have been suffering for serve anxiety and depression since i was diagnosed at 16, i am now 21 and its like its taking over my life. No matter what i do, what medication i take, who i go see, nothing works. I am now at my second mental break down in 2 years, this is inturupting me even being able to work, i have no sick days left because of time i have needed off, and my boss is cold hearted. Noone seems to understand how i am feeling, not even my doctor, i jist want to live a normal life...

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

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I don't know how I feel

replies: 1

Am I going crazy?

replies: 2

Anxiety beginning to take over my life

replies: 3

I don't know why I hate my life . . .

replies: 4

need help understanding

replies: 1

my life will never change...

replies: 1

She broke up with me because of my depression.

replies: 2

My boyfriend's depression got worse, and he doesn't want to hurt me. Should we break up?

replies: 4

Experiencing depression but loved ones don't understand!

replies: 3

It taking over my life

replies: 2

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

I don't know how I feel replies: 1

Am I going crazy? replies: 2

Anxiety beginning to take over my life replies: 3

I don't know why I hate my life . . . replies: 4

need help understanding replies: 1

my life will never change... replies: 1

She broke up with me because of my depression. replies: 2

My boyfriend's depression got worse, and he doesn't want to hurt me. Should we break up? replies: 4

Experiencing depression but loved ones don't understand! replies: 3

It taking over my life replies: 2

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

I don't know how I feel

replies: 1

Am I going crazy?

replies: 2

Anxiety beginning to take over my life

replies: 3

I don't know why I hate my life . . .

replies: 4

need help understanding

replies: 1

my life will never change...

replies: 1

She broke up with me because of my depression.

replies: 2

My boyfriend's depression got worse, and he doesn't want to hurt me. Should we break up?

replies: 4

Experiencing depression but loved ones don't understand!

replies: 3

It taking over my life

replies: 2