Do I have depression?

[jjjjjjjjjj]

I'm unsure of my state of mind. There're some symptoms of depression which I know I definitely have, but not others.

I have no motivation to do anything, and its having a negative impact on my study and work. I find it very difficult to concentrate on what I need to do (sometimes I can't even concentrate at all). I don't often go out, but I get the feeling its more do do with a lack of invitation. That is, if one of my friends invited me, I would probably go, if only to avoid turning them down. I also don't reach out to any of my friends. I'm not excited or passionate about anything. I used to enjoy reading, but I haven't read a book in about 2 years, and feel very little interest in picking it back up. I spend most of my time procrastinating. And there are times (usually when my mother questions me about university) where I get extremely frustrated and become very biting in what I say and how I act; occasionally I am so overwhelmed I start crying, because I am so insecure about my future, and don't know what to do. I am never happy with anything I do, I have very little confidence, and am EXTREMELY indecisive (big problem for me). I also constantly compare myself to others, usually those I perceive to be doing better than me with uni/life. Sometimes, my thoughts drift into darker territory, but only occasionally. Lastly, I am always feeling tired, and I have trouble getting to sleep (probably to do with me staying on my phone during the night).

 On the other hand though, I often smile to other people, and if someone initiates a conversation with me, I generally have no problem carrying it on. With people I am close to, I can be very animated in how I talk/act. However, with strangers, if they seem talkative, I tend to be. If they seem like they don't want to talk, then even if I want to initiate a conversation and make friends I find it impossible. Most of what I do in my interpersonal interaction is done because I am scared of being judged. I don't drink or use drugs. Although I said I'm always tired, there are very occasional times when I feel an intense urge to get up and run (no sugar, just a sudden impulse).

I have read that while people suffering from depression display the symptoms in the first paragraph, the things I describe in the second paragraph go against what depressed people are known to do. So I'm confused as to whether I actually have depression.  

Any advice regarding anything mentioned in the post is welcome and appreciated.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi jjjjjjjjjj,

Thanks for posting.

I can only post BeyondBlue links here so I'll post the one about depression.  This is the signs and symptoms one: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression/signs-and-symptoms  and this is the K10 (a diagnostic tool) https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression/signs-and-symptoms/anxiety-and-depression-checklist-k10

In clinical terms, depression is diagnosed by a diagnostic manual (the DSM-IV).  There are only a certain number of people that are able to make the diagnosis - like a GP, psychologist or counsellor.  Others will just make recommendations or opinions based on what they've seen or know.  Based on what I'm seeing, some of what you are describing certainly sounds like depression - and in the second paragraph you wrote "because I'm scared of being judged" which indicates that a lot of this comes from negative self-talk which is part of depression.

But I guess the important part of whether or not you do or don't have depression doesn't matter.  Because you don't need a diagnosis to start getting help and feeling better about yourself.  and a diagnosis won't change anything about how we act/feel or talk - it's just simply a name for what's going on.

So if you are waiting for this 'diagnosis' to go and get some help, don't. 

I hope this helps. 🙂 

[SeanM92]

Hey there,

Something alot of people realize it that depression isn't such a strict down the line kinda diagnosis, its not like you have to have every symptom to be diagnosed, we are all different and it affects us in different ways and degrees of severity.

You shouldn't panic about possibly having depression, most people will get it at some point in their life. The best thing to do is to see a professional like a GP or a therapist and to try and stay positive.

Try not to let the world get you down, maybe you could try changing your life up a bit, do something you've never done before that you have thought about doing.

Take care and keep in mind, your always welcome here 🙂

[jjjjjjjjjj]

Thanks for your response. I never actually realised that depression isn't a strict diagnosis, and seeing this actually relieves me a bit. The reason I post on here is because I just don't really see what can be done about it. But I suppose going to the GP's won't hurt. Thanks.

[jjjjjjjjjj]

It's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in this. I guess I'm just not good with stress, and university definitely isn't helping with that! And yes, I have been trying to stay positive and get out more, its difficult, but results don't happen overnight, I'm sure. Thank you.