Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 12

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Evil Comes in Many Forms

replies: 1

Evil comes in many forms. Terrorism, hate, malicious intent … The worst of all evils however, operates under the radar. Its an insidious, dark, covert, and disgusting form of evil. This form of evil is a coward. It does not present itself, but rather indirectly manifests, using innocent souls as a medium of malicious exchange. This evil is mental illness. Mental illness prisons the child inside us, duck tapes their mouth shut and takes charge of our behaviour. It hurts our closest loved ones. It hurts them to the point of relationship severance, which serves as a self-fulling prophecy for the evil lies whispered in our ears: we’re not good enough, we’re bad, we’re ill suited for love. It kills us, it is a cancer, a poison, a poison with symptoms un recognised and diagnosis further ambiguous, a cure non-existent. It turns mothers against sons, sons into isolation. Isolation is my vacation, temporary escape from frivolous vexation. Breathing space, from the evil that’s left my mothers souls forsaken. I love you, but you do not exist. Goodbye Sylvia, the Mother I’ll forever miss.

Needing a little helping hand

replies: 3

I've been in recovery for almost 3yrs after a nervous breakdown that cost me my job. I haven't worked since. Since I left my last job in the midst of a depression/anxiety diagnosis and wasn't doing my best work I also left without any work references. No, I didn't get sacked, I quit but no-one there wants to be a reference for me despite having a good working record there for 7yrs. So....my question is. What's the best way to handle this? I'm sending out resumes getting interviews and have good interview feedback and even job offers. But the lack of references means that I just can't get a job in the current climate. I don't even have any personal references due to having lived as a recluse outside of work for the past decade. Any tips, advice and stuff? recruiters won't touch me, I can't pick up casual work and can't get a temporary assignment or even a job well below my skills and experience. I need some help with this as I'm desperate to work again and feel productive. I have a corporate background and experience, in technical and non-technical jobs. But the baseline for corporate work is 2 references min from direct managers in the past 5yrs. Which pretty much only covers my last job.

Introduction :)

replies: 2

Hi there, my name is Chloe and I just joined. I thought it'd be nice to join and talk to people that are all about getting better. I'm getting into a better place and this place seems really helpful. I like to read, write (I am currently working on m... View more

Not sure what I’m feeling

replies: 2

Hi I’m super new to this whole thing so don’t actually know what to say haha I think I have some form of depression but i’m really unsure and don’t know what to do. Lately I’ve been sad and angry, all the time. I have lots of resent towards people and I can’t seem to shake the feeling of being worthless. Is this a thing that others feel too? I’m just here for some answers and maybe some advice. I’ve been with my partner for 6 years and we are great, but lately I’ve been turning away from him because I feel guilty for my negative thoughts and uncontrollable sad feelings. Thanks in advance for the support

Struggling with the present and living in the past.

replies: 4

Hi All, This is my first time on here. I've tried to talk to friends or some family about how I'm feeling lately, but I feel no one gets it. I'm a happily married mum of 2 aged 3 and 6. I've been with my hubby for 15 years, married for 9. A few years back we went through a really rough 4 years. In summary, Hubby had always been restless with work, wanted more, got made redundant several times so we decided to buy into a franchise, thought we had thought through every scenario that could go right and wrong. Silly us i was pregnant at the time and my husband was doing most of it himself, we thought we would be right, only to realise, 6 months in, my husband wasn't coping mentally or physically...We had to call it quits, we ended up selling our house of 7.5yrs that we had been in and worked hard paying our mortgage and life went down hill from there. We had my 2nd, renting, my hubby basically had a mental breakdown, couldn't work or function, I'm looking after a month old and toddler. On top of $$ from the house going on living and decreasing, our dog went through a few surgeries that ended up costing $10,000. Fast forward 4 years of one big nightmare and we are coming out the other side! I'm working 2 days a week, hubby has a great new job, kicking goals, company car etc etc...we have healthy kids, paid off vet bill and will Life should be good I mean we have come out the otherside, better in some ways. For me though, I'm finding things extremely hard, I want my life back, I want my OLD life back, where finacally we were great, in our bubble, had a young son and all was great. I'm struggling to cope with the enormous task of getting back to where we were, starting over saving for a house all over again...we will never get what we had back and i hate it. I've been having dreams where i am in our old house and I'm crying then i wake up.. i miss it so much. I guess I'm on here just to ask how am i supposed to move on? I feel so stuck? The negative feelings i have really take over. Thanks

Help! Stress at work close to triggering a relapse/episode. Need a way out!

replies: 5

Hi everyone, New member/first post I hope you are all well and thank you so much for reading! A bit of back story: I'm a middle aged man with Bipolar 1. I was diagnosed at 27 years old at the start of 2011 when after many months of battling depression and suffering a complete inability to sleep, I had my very first (and only) psychotic break/manic episode. After voluntary admission, I spent a horrible 2 months inside a mental health ward under the public system in Queensland. It took about 6 months to start to adjust back to reality and about 12 months to feel "normal" again, not before losing my fiance, and my job at the time. I haven't had a single case of severe depression or a manic episode since that first one back in 2011 now that I have found a good combination of meds with the help of my case manager and GP. I've managed so well that for the past 6 years I haven't had to see my case manager at all, just my GP for script repeats and check ups. Since 2012 I have held down jobs successfully, payed rent and bills, managed relationships, lived and worked around the country and abroad. For the most part, all has been fine. Here is my problem now though - my new job. I'm a project manager. It's a job I have wanted for many years. The problem is that being project oriented it's intense for short periods and i'm finding it incredibly stressful. I can feel myself slipping and symptoms starting to show. At the moment it's just anxiety and stress but I am finding it hard to concentrate properly and am making poor judgments. Soon it will become clear that I'm dropping the ball and am no longer dependable or reliable. I am worried that eventually, on this trajectory, i'm a ticking time bomb worst part is that this level of stress is only set to increase over the coming weeks. I feel that in order to avoid the inevitable, I need to find a way to leave this job. I just don't know how to approach it with my boss. He has no idea about my illness. We are getting a senior manager for the project in about a month, but I honestly can't handle this job any longer. I feel like I need take some downtime and focus on a new career that is less stressful. My mother is a big hoarder and desperately needs help with her house. I'm considering resigning from my position and spending time with her to help her clean up whilst I regroup and look at other career options. Have you been in a similar position? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for reading!!! -HF

I'm a nurse but not a nurse?

replies: 3

Hi everyone, This is my first post here, wanted to see what others think about the situation I'm in and if there's any advise out there. So the situation is that I've just come out of the BEST 3 years of my life. 2015-17 were the years I was at university studying to become a nurse. I made a heap of friends, I loved and lost that love, I had so much fun in those three years and would do anything to go back to it. But it's over, I'm now registered as a nurse and am ready to get out there. I have my graduation ceremony coming up in October. You'd think I have my life all set up, mapped out. But that's not the case. I'm a registered nurse and ready to get out there but I've been so unsuccessful with job applications that I'm starting to believe that I'm cursed. Like most students who are due to finish nursing, I applied for the new graduate program where I was unsuccessful. Since then I've been applying for job after job after job. Most of the hospitals require postgraduate experience, pretty much everywhere else also require post graduate experience or a post grad certificate which I can't get without the experience or job.. I've applied for hospitals, gp clinics, aged care, disability, community, literally everything. Even interstate! And I've had no luck. I was also signed up to a job agency early this year as my son turned 6 at the end of last year. Since being with them my mental health has rapidly declined, along with the looming presence of feeling like I'm a failure because I'm now 7 months from the last placement I did for nursing, 3 months since I became registered as a nurse. The job agency haven't helped me in getting a job at all, telling me to take my mother's car so I can work as a personal support worker(my mother is also a registered nurse, she requires her car to get to work). It makes me even more depressed to think that I thought I was doing the right thing by my son so we could finally move out of my mother's place, to we can have our own home. I entered nursing because I can't see myself being anything else. I worked so hard to become a nurse, because I wanted it so much and In the end I've come out of it with disappointment, regret, sadness and anger. It's the first time in three years that my mental health has been unstable. When I'm busy and occupied my emotions are in check. I've at least found that learning piano has become a bit of a distraction recently. I just don't know what to do now.

Lost and confused in a relationship

replies: 3

Hi, newbie to forums here! I've had what seems to be a bit of a whirlwind this year and I'm struggling to keep loneliness, self doubt, and a bit of depression and anxiety at bay. My ex-boyfriend of 6 years and I broke up in December last year as we couldn't find common ground in our relationship where we were both happy (I was looking for us to move out of home and was more ambitious with work and he wanted to mainly play computer games at home). I was ok with that because I knew it was the best thing for both of us so we didn't end up resenting each other. Then I started talking to my manager at work and things were getting flirty and we started going on dates in February and seeing each other more and more. I started falling for him 2 months in and I thought things were going really well, and then he said he needed space (end of April). He said he thought I wasn't serious about a relationship and I told him that's exactly what I want - someone to share my life with not just a fling. When we were seeing each other he also made comments about getting an apartment together and travel (they were off hand comments but I still took it seriously). He's very busy with work (approx 70 hours a week) and under a lot of stress. We stopped talking and flirting, then in May we went out and he kissed me and started messaging about my day and that again, then shut off for a while again. Earlier this week he started getting flirty again and saying he wants to cuddle me (actually cuddle as we've never had sex) and kiss me, then last night I asked why he decided to start being cute again and he said I dunno I didn't decide anything. I'm so confused because I still really like him and am so hopeful that it'll work out (he's moving to a new job in 4 weeks and will be less stressed/busy), but don't know if I'm just stupid and he's manipulating me and just using me when it suits him or if there's actually something really good there (I know I'm being hopeful. When it was good it was really good and we were really happy). Or am I just completely and utterly terrified of being alone and that no one will ever love me again that I'm clinging on for dear life.. Social anxiety is also a big issue for me so just going out and casually meeting people I don't feel like is an option for me.

20months married to 60 yr old man suffering depression.

replies: 1

Hi there. I am a newbie. I am 52 with 13 yr daughter and 20mths ago I got married to a 58yr old man who's mother had died 3yrs prior. She was the light of his life.My husband who I had known for a few months prior to our marriage was absolutely a gentleman and charming and attentive when we met which is why I fell in lov but he has struggled in stepping up as a husband and father. This is the first marriage for both of us I am not sure if he has delayed grief. Has no interest in sex and constantly takes medication for headaches. He has recently started working but not even that has improved our relationship. I am struggling staying married to him. I am not financially dependent on him as I have my own home and he moved into my home. He has a lovely warm family who love me and my daughter but he is so distant with me and doesn't like to communicate. He doesn't like affection and struggles to even kiss or hug for more than 10 seconds. I have tried to get him to get help but he is too scared or stubborn knowing fully well that I am at the end of my patience and feel that there is no hope for a future with him. He doesn't like any confrontation and has anger management issues. I have asked him to leave but he won't and then becomes over aggressive with me trying to have rough sex which I don't enjoy. He has never forced himself as when I say stop he does. He promises to change and seek help but He never does. I am at a loss of what to do.

Help / ASD & Schizoaffective Disorder

replies: 3

Hi, my 30 year old daughter was just diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, she is already on anti pyscotic medication for her autism and has always suffered dreadfully with depression. She has an intellectual delay also. I really would like to know more about her new diagnosis, I only found out today by reading a medical form for her to apply for housing. There it was.... Why I hadn't been told by the mental health team I have no idea. Would love some positive ways forward. Thank you for reading.

Meet your community champions! replies: 12

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Evil Comes in Many Forms replies: 1

Needing a little helping hand replies: 3

Introduction :) replies: 2

Not sure what I’m feeling replies: 2

Struggling with the present and living in the past. replies: 4

Help! Stress at work close to triggering a relapse/episode. Need a way out! replies: 5

I'm a nurse but not a nurse? replies: 3

Lost and confused in a relationship replies: 3

20months married to 60 yr old man suffering depression. replies: 1

Help / ASD & Schizoaffective Disorder replies: 3