Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Hi

replies: 2

Welcome everyone, thanks for letting me in.

EMPTINESS???

replies: 1

Hello all! I am new to this forum, in fact I am new to even opening up about pretty much anything so I look forward to talking with you all. To be honest I don't even know where to begin, so I'll keep it short and simple - Almost a decade ago, I was having the time of my life. And by that I mean that I was feeling good about myself - I was achieving, I was being praised (admitted something you should definitely not solely rely on) and overall had a very secure sense of self and purpose. However, after this things just seemed to gradually go down hill, year after year. While I still felt the need to achieve, it was as though my 'mojo' had just evaporated into thin air! Those around me started to achieve more than myself, which at the time significantly bothered me (unfortunately at the time I was competitive, perhaps from an inflated ego from the previous years). While I eventually I got what needed to be done (not to the best of my abilities) my self esteem or motivation never quite returned. Now in the past year or two, my motivation, self esteem and sense of purpose feels like it has just completely deflated. While I have something I am working towards in life, everything seems pointless. I'm not sure if I have depressive symptoms, considering that I never consulted a mental health professional. However, lately it has got to the point where I don't feel like getting out of bed purely because I don't see the point, I don't want to sleep at night because for some odd reason it seems like a chore (I look at my phone instead), I feel heavy and often procrastinate because of feeling overwhelmed, even with simple tasks. Those close to me have started to become frustrated with my recent lack of achievements or motivation, I can understand that I may just come across to them as 'lazy'. One of my loved ones constantly refers to me as a "loser" when she is worried and frustrated with me. Mental health as a whole is a very taboo subject with those close to me. I had once tried to open up to them but they claimed that depression is just an escape route or a mask for my naturally lazy nature. Guess I am just writing this to get it off my chest and also connect with anyone experiencing something remotely similar. I apologise that this is so long! But I do hope talk with everyone

Disillusioned

replies: 1

Hello Just joined this forum because I realised that I have a negative outlook on life and don't really know who I am anymore. I am a guy in late 40s, married with 2 beautiful, healthy and intelligent daughters. We live in a large regional town where we all grew up. I probably appear to be doing OK in life, and I have always tried to be a well-rounded person who strives to continue learning new things and develop myself. I have always struggled with finding suitable work and don't seem to be able to network at all. I tried to resolve this situation a few years ago by committing to a new career and university study in a female-dominated field. I completed my degree with distinction and expected that this would provide me with the pathway I needed in life to perform a useful function in society and obtain stable employment near our home town. It has not worked out well, I had to move away for a year for my first job around 4hrs from home. I was stressed with the challenges of my new job physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. My wife did not seem to miss me, never called and rarely responded to texts. When I messaged her the responses were factual and contained no expression of affection. Our relationship has deteriorated to the point where it seems to me she concerns herself only with her own blood family, our kids and her obsession with social media. After the end of that year I was so homesick and managed to find a job back home with a small private organisation. I thought this would be the break I needed to mend my relationship. That hasn't worked out either as I found the organisation to be unethical and I was being asked to break the law in a regular basis. In addition, I suffered an extremely traumatic event at work which was just awful and received no support from the employer. I took leave after 6mths and later was told I wasn't "a good fit" and not to return. Now I have no job, no motivation to find work in my chosen field, the bills are piling up and I feel worthless, useless and fearful. I regret entering the field of work, I am in debt for my studies and not prepared to relocate again, not is my wife. She isn't open to talking about things and chooses to be of the "get over it and do what you have to do" viewpoint. I don't feel that medication would help me and have seen the results of people expecting that it would solve their problems.

friendly chat & sharing

replies: 1

Hello I'm a mature aged female (late fifties) and divorced for over 15 years. I have 2 adult children and currently live with my daughter. Since 2001 I was diagnosed with depression and have been on medication since then. When I was first diagnosed I was told that I was depressed and anxious because I was handling too much in my personal life on my own (my kids were little then), I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this. At the start I experienced panic attacks, claustrophobia, sleeplessness and often felt like my nerves were frayed and at screaming pitch. Even the slightest sound would make me jump e.g, if someone came into the room and closed a door I would startle as if the door slammed, or if something dropped on the floor in another room it would seem like a really loud noise. I work full time in an office and can function normally (seemingly to my colleagues) even when I experience mild anxiety like I have over the past few days however I get so tired of the symptoms, the constant pall of gloom, the rapid heartbeats and feelings of fear, extreme body aches and pains, the feeling of isolation even in the midst of family and friends, inability to enjoy things I usually enjoy, feeling on the verge of crying uncontrollably if someone casually asks "how are you doing?" or "is something bothering you? You don't look like your usual self". This is the first time EVER that I've shared some of what I feel on a public forum and would just like to hear from others experiencing similar feelings so I won't feel so alone. Whenever I try to talk to well meaning family and friends they tell me to 'go out more' or 'cheer up'. If I seem like I'm rambling forgive me, my thoughts are all over the place at the moment. Thanks for the chance to share some of my feelings and thoughts with you all.

Will I ever shake it off permanently?

replies: 8

Hi. I am 40 years old and after a controlling marriage of 10 years and PND with my second child it took me a 6 years after the birth to feel like me again. Well it only lasted 2 years and here I am again. I feel like I cannot escape this horrible darkness. It is affecting my life again. My job is quite good I like what I do. Unfortunately i hate it though. All I wish is to be able to go to gym and then hide at home. I don't want to socialise or go to work. To make it worse I have had a run in with a manager at work who I know has always disliked me but now she has a reason to be openly rude or 'offstandish to me.' (In a once in a lifetime moment for me- I stood up for myself by speaking back in front of colleagues to her). Even before this incident I had started to have moments at work where I feel 'off' in my stomach and then it becomes pains and then I feel like I may vomit. I thought it was a virus at the start and was tested 'all clear and in perfect health.' It seems to be getting worse and my desire to want to hide at home is ever increasing. I feel like a failure who cannot do anything right. I am afraid i will burn my friends out with my negativity at the moment to the point where I say "I had aGreat day/I am well thanks" when they check in on me - which is far from the truth. I have heaps of CBT training and hate meditating.. I am seeing a psych, I know my thoughts are not rational. Both my children are now awesome young teens who I am so proud of. I am so scared to let them down as a parent as I did when they were babies. The post natal depression was awful and I struggle with memories and pain from it to this day. I have memory issues so out of nowhere something i had completely forgotten will pop into my mind and it devastates me I could have been that person. I only ever wanted to be a mother and i feel I failed on that. Fortunately they don't remember my absences (hospitalization) but I do. Their father (my ex husband) tells them horrid things from then which they come home and ask about. I am trying so hard to fight this darkness again. I don't want to miss anymore of their lives. I feel like I am failing at this 'simple' thing called life. I feel a failure and a burden on everybody around me. I know it is not true and is 'headtalk' however I am so tired of fighting it.

I need help with relationships

replies: 1

Hi So at the moment in dating someone who has aspergers and hes amazing but i cant tell if he likes me anymore Also i like two people the person im with and my ex but my ex likes me and im not sure if the person im dating likes me...and like my ex has deep anixety and is awkward so even if i got with them it would be the same just strangers so im comfused.. I like both of them but i dont know if i do...im so comfused and just need someone to help...im 100% comfused with my feelings...and that makes it hard to decide things, im debating wether i should be alone for awhile..but when i am..im really sad i rely on people...to make me happy..ugh i hate this, just someone help or tell me about your experience with someonething like this..it would help alot Thanks..

I don't know where to turn

replies: 3

I wish for once I could feel normal, I am so tired of struggling everyday. My head is so full of pain and so many thoughts, I seem to just go through the motions not really feeling anything. I work I have an amazing family but I feel so tired, I just want it all to stop, I am struggling to put into words how I am feeling, I always seem to come back to one moment in my life from when I was 9 years old more than 40 years ago. I just want peace in my head but I think at my age that is never going to happen.

What will happen to my family?

replies: 2

I was born into a family in a very difficult economic situation. However, when I was younger, I did not understand saving up money or the standards our house could afford. However, growing older, and now 13 I had to take care of my younger siblings reminding them our house needs. However, having a little sister at the age of 3 was difficult because seeing her hesitate to buy her favourite toys made me realise how mature she really. If people would ask why she would not aks to buy a toy she would reply saying that it was too expensive. Hearing her say this really tore my heart apart. My parents had to reduce my sister's preschool times not being able to afford it. Witnessing my parents argue or fight over rents, taxes, and fees were something I really didn't want to show my siblings form such a young age. Attending a Catholic primary and high school meant more school fees and more uniform and equipment money. As could not afford much stuff, we considered moving to Mongolia or a different state away from Australia where it would be more cheaper. So all five of us shared a room in a small apartment where it was right above my parent's shop they owned. Going to a Catholic school meant, more richer kids, better phones, car and houses. was too ashamed to tell my friends what environment I actually live in as I knew that they would not accept me for that reason. I also had trouble adapting into school as I was Asian and it was very visible. When having roleplays they would always put me as the Asian kid and constantly asking me if I knew how to speak Chinese, Korean, Japanese and so on. I would have to repetitively lie what phone I have, the price of my shoes and where I lived. Is this is a problem that I myself should overcome by myself?

My recovery is taking so long

replies: 3

I have what I thought was a perfect life, 3 young children, gorgeous husband, friends. I'm very blessed. When I was 25 I suffered a severe depressive episode but was able to recover within 3 months and was in remission for 16 years. Last year in May I had a fight with my mum and sister and suffered a major breakdown, depression, obsessive thoughts and severe anxiety. I was hospitalised and had to change medications. It's been the hardest year of my life. Drs tell me I'm doing all the right things. I can be ok some days and nights. I just really miss my life and scared that I'll never recover. Everything is now fine with my family. My kids are too young to understand but I grieve for the life I had. When anxiety can be so bad it turns into obsessive thoughts it's really scary. While most of my symptoms have improved I'm struggling with the fact that I've been sick for a year and still grieve for my old life. Does anyone have any inspiration to keep going? People tell me it's normal for serious bout to take at least a year to recover from.

Suffering from bipolar

replies: 2

Hey guys, I haven't posted on this online community forum for many years but I'm back because I'm really asking for some guidance. I have bipolar and have been on and off medication and recently kicked the medication as it was ruining my motivation and making me feel ill. I have a daily struggle to regulate my moods and often find myself just hating everything I do, I have socially withdrawn from my friends, I have a constant struggle with drug use and whatever job I do I end up absolutely hating and just wanting to change and switch up 24/7 (Manic self just cannot stick to one thing). I have been hospitalised twice since the start of 2019 and my mental health is ruining my relationship, my job and my life. I want to be stable but I have no idea how to be. I work a full time traineeship job and I'm really trying to stick to it (as I've gone through 4-5 jobs over the past year and have dropped out of uni twice). Can someone please give me some semblance of an idea on how to run my life somewhat smoothly and maintain a structure? Begging for help, thank you xxxx

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Hi replies: 2

EMPTINESS??? replies: 1

Disillusioned replies: 1

friendly chat & sharing replies: 1

Will I ever shake it off permanently? replies: 8

I need help with relationships replies: 1

I don't know where to turn replies: 3

What will happen to my family? replies: 2

My recovery is taking so long replies: 3

Suffering from bipolar replies: 2