My recovery is taking so long

[Nicole2]

I have what I thought was a perfect life, 3 young children, gorgeous husband, friends. I'm very blessed. When I was 25 I suffered a severe depressive episode but was able to recover within 3 months and was in remission for 16 years. Last year in May I had a fight with my mum and sister and suffered a major breakdown, depression, obsessive thoughts and severe anxiety. I was hospitalised and had to change medications. It's been the hardest year of my life. Drs tell me I'm doing all the right things. I can be ok some days and nights. I just really miss my life and scared that I'll never recover. Everything is now fine with my family. My kids are too young to understand but I grieve for the life I had. When anxiety can be so bad it turns into obsessive thoughts it's really scary. While most of my symptoms have improved I'm struggling with the fact that I've been sick for a year and still grieve for my old life. Does anyone have any inspiration to keep going? People tell me it's normal for serious bout to take at least a year to recover from.

[Podlife73]

Hi Nicole,

its a funny old life isn’t it?, sounds like you have quite the journey, I can relate, sometimes we start off with great intent and then “Bang” our whole lives are changed by things that are often out of our control.

pulling on the emotional support of your family and closest is most important, regular exercise, healthy diet and surrounding yourself with positive people is important also.

Knowing that it is ok to have bad days sometimes and to k ow that you are worth something, valued and important is also key.

somedays can be a real struggle but always remember you have this place also where you can talk openly and freely and make new friends who have similar struggles, with this you can work on coping strategies.. hold your head up high,,being a mum in its self would be a hard job so kudos and I’m a message away if you want a chat.

[WokingOnIt]

Hi Nicole2,

I don't have an helpful advice to offer but I wanted to say I hear you, and I understand that feeling of frustration and discouragement when the hard times last for so long. I have been depressed for short periods on and off throughout my life, but I eventually learned that it would always pass, and accepted the short bouts. This last bout has lasted at least two years, and I have been so disheartened by it and wonder if I will ever 'recover'.

It makes it hard to keep trying and putting the effort in when you can't see or feel the results from those efforts, hey? It's possible that you are making great progress anyway, but find it hard to see or assess that accurately. Do you think this might be the case?

The only other thing I can think to say is... kindness to yourself is so important. I am not very good at this, but I have been pondering it lately and I'm going to try harder with it. Being your own best friend and speaking kindly and encouragingly to yourself can make an immense difference. You're doing great things and being very brave- even if it doesn't feel like it to you right now.

I wrote this poem recently, to remind myself not to give up when I felt I was falling backwards into bad times. Maybe it would be helpful to you, too.

a gradual unfurling...
When you can take no more,
take a breath
take your time,
and take the next tiny step.
And take heart,
because the power to create change
still exists
when you cannot see it.

[Nicole2]

Thanks, you are right, eating well, being with positive people and family helps. Have you done the Mindspot course? I found it really helpful but it takes continual work to always challenge those thoughts. Anxiety is a real hard, tricky one.