What will happen to my family?

[Celeste_Kate_Lee]

I was born into a family in a very difficult economic situation. However, when I was younger, I did not understand saving up money or the standards our house could afford. However, growing older, and now 13 I had to take care of my younger siblings reminding them our house needs. However, having a little sister at the age of 3 was difficult because seeing her hesitate to buy her favourite toys made me realise how mature she really. If people would ask why she would not aks to buy a toy she would reply saying that it was too expensive. Hearing her say this really tore my heart apart. My parents had to reduce my sister's preschool times not being able to afford it. Witnessing my parents argue or fight over rents, taxes, and fees were something I really didn't want to show my siblings form such a young age. Attending a Catholic primary and high school meant more school fees and more uniform and equipment money. As could not afford much stuff, we considered moving to Mongolia or a different state away from Australia where it would be more cheaper. So all five of us shared a room in a small apartment where it was right above my parent's shop they owned. Going to a Catholic school meant, more richer kids, better phones, car and houses. was too ashamed to tell my friends what environment I actually live in as I knew that they would not accept me for that reason. I also had trouble adapting into school as I was Asian and it was very visible. When having roleplays they would always put me as the Asian kid and constantly asking me if I knew how to speak Chinese, Korean, Japanese and so on. I would have to repetitively lie what phone I have, the price of my shoes and where I lived. Is this is a problem that I myself should overcome by myself?

[Doolhof]

Hi Celeste Kate Lee,

It certainly sounds like you have a few different issues to deal with. It is hard when children feel like they need to grow up quickly to deal with what is happening in their homes and environment.

Is it possible for you to talk to your parents about how you are feeling?

Is there a counsellor or teacher at school who you feel comfortable to talk with?

You could telephone Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800 and talk to one of the support workers, they will be able to listen to you and may be able to give you some advice.

My parents struggles when we were children and they used to argue a lot as well. As parents, I am sure they want what is best for their children and try their hardest to provide. Sometimes it is tough.

Do you have one friend at school who you might be able to tell where you live? Some of the other children may be in a situation like you, they may be covering things up as well.

Maybe in time you might like to decide if you are willing to tell the truth or if you are going to continue to say what makes you feel comfortable right now.

We all want to feel like we belong and that we can fit in with others. We also need to feel comfortable with who we are somehow.

I hope I have not confused you too much! I also hope you might be able to call the Kids Helpline and talk to someone who will be able to listen to you.

Wishing you all the best. I feel you have a strong character and a brave soul to be able to share how you are feeling.

From Dools

[Peppermintbach]

Hello,

Thank you so much for bravely sharing. You sound like you’re shouldering a lot of responsibility...I feel your sadness, heaviness and heartfelt wish that things were different for your family. The financial struggles sound really rough...

I’m glad Dools has so kindly written a very thoughtful and caring reply to you with some lovely ideas...perhaps things for you to explore if you’re feeling up to it. The Kids Helpline that she mentioned sounds great 🙂

I won’t repeat too much as Dools has covered it all nicely, but I just wanted to add a little something...

Parts of your post about your heritage really resonated and brought me back to when I was still in school. I’m from (mixed) Asian heritage, and I could relate to some of your experiences. I’m an adult now, but when I was still in school, I had a range of good and not so good experiences with classmates...

Some were really lovely and kind, whereas others used to regularly make fun of me because of my heritage in primary school. That really hurt...I know that’s not necessarily the same as your experiences. But I suspect that feeling of not being fully accepted/“otherness” for something completely beyond our control is something you can relate to...maybe...

I don’t really have any suggestions at this point, but I simply wanted to say hello and express that, to some extent at least, I think that I understand where you’re coming from...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper