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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Really struggling at the moment

replies: 2

Hi. I'm a 37 year old guy who has had depression his whole life. I first started seeing mental health professionals when I was around 12 years of age, and I have seen more and more as my life has gone on. My current therapist thinks I may have had depression as early as age 2, which is kind of crazy, but here we are. I often go on good periods where things travel okay, and then I'll fall down a hole again, and have to lift myself up. I've had a number of these relapses over the years, and the thing is they get harder, not easier, to dig myself out of as I get older, because I get more and more evidence that things aren't ever going to change for me. I've been alone most of my life, apart from a toxic relationship of 2 years I was in, which ended very badly, with me suffering PTSD on top of everything else. It's coming on 10 years since that relationship ended and I haven't met anyone in that time that has shared a mutual interest or attraction in me. I've put on weight, lost my hair, and get older and uglier in that time, which has only made me more awkward and lacking in confidence. I've managed to work full time for 15 years despite my depression, and last year made the leap of faith to go to university to study psychology. I continue to work part-time in the industry I was working in, in a stressful job that requires shift work and weekend work, so I rarely socialise or have the energy or inkling to get out and enjoy life beyond working or studying. I am currently on university break and the time without the distraction of study has really messed me up. Some things have happened that triggered feelings and memories I've tried to bury, namely the feeling of having someone to share a life with. Coming up on ten years since I last was in a relationship, this has hit me very very hard. I feel so very alone, and don't see how things will get better in the future given the lack of interest I've gotten from women over the past 10 years, and the complete rejection I've experienced on dating sites and apps. I really want to pack it all in and get away from everything, but I have steep debts to pay and don't know how I'd pay them if I quit my job. I am leaning towards deferring uni, but I hate the idea of working my current job without studying, as it is an industry I am trying to get away from. I know if I want a relationship I need to accept myself and radiate confidence, but I just can't do it. I just don't like myself, and would love to be away from myself.

My husband has a drinking problem

replies: 4

My husband recently had a stroke and still has a blood clot blocking a major artery in his neck. He has been told that the clot could move anytime or be there for years. If it moves to his brain it could kill him. One of the things that he has been told is that he shouldn't drink anymore than 2 drinks in a session. He was a very heavy drinker prior to the stroke. Drinking 8-10 full strength beers a night. We spoke about this productively together and we discussed it with our doctor. The doctor suggested he go and see a drug and alcohol counsellor and I also suggested that it is very hard to reduce alcohol use on your own. He insisted however, that he could do it on his own. He didn't drink at all for a month (doctor's advice) and I was feeling confident that he could reduce his consumption. Also our life during this time was so good because he wasn't bad tempered (as alcohol makes him). He said he couldn't keep to 2 drinks a night so we negotiated together, that he have 3 drinks (this wasn't ideal but better than how much he drank before). Now though, he has gradually been increasing his intake. I have tried to talk to him about how this makes me feel (scared that something will happen to him and stressed) and also offer him support to go back to 3. I think he blames me for not being able to drink and thinks his life is ruined by it. We are fighting a lot and I feel unloved and uncared for because he doesn't care about the impact on me or the fact he could be throwing away our future. I am very sad.

Lonely and tired

replies: 1

I've been a single mum to two young kids for the last 2 and a half years, I was happy to be out of my marriage at the beginning but I ended up feeling lonely and craving affection. I dated and they never lasted long but I always went from one to the next like an addiction, I really needed to feel loved or have that affection. My mum tells me it's like I'm always searching for something and nothing seems to be good enough. I feel like I'm broken and I'm too far gone to change. I also began drinking a fair bit of alcohol, I thought I was more fun and I had more patience with my children. I couldn't focus whilst I was drinking so much though and I ended up quitting new jobs I'd gotten and stopped study after a week. 8 months ago I met a guy, he is amazing. I've stopped drinking as much, only one night a week that I don't have the kids; I have started going to the gym and I have gone back to studying and I am killing it... But... I don't know what has come over me but the past few weeks I have been doubting our relationship, feeling that neediness for more affection and time with him. He has been super patient with me but he has his own stuff to deal with and I feel like I am pushing him away. I've also been thinking about alcohol again just to stop me feeling this crappy.. be that chilled, relaxed person who is always happy again. I feel like my happiness depends on my relationships, and that isn't fair on my children. I feel like I'm taking all my emotions out on my children, I have no patience and I yell.. I stop them playing if they're making too much noise.. I can't be bothered cooking proper meals or going out anywhere. I feel so guilty by the end of the day, I think my kids are going to end up hating me and I end up screwing them up emotionally. I have goals.. I want to finish my diploma and go back to work and better mine and my children's lives, but I am feeling more and more unpredictable emotionally and I'm beginning to think I'll never be able to make that happen. That I'll be alone forever and that my kids will eventually resent me

Double the grief in 1 year

replies: 2

Hi, my daughters father killed him self almost 1 year ago. Our daughter is turning 6 in 2 months. I had just started a relationship and was a month in when that happened. We stayed together and did have a fulfilling relationship while I was dealing with my loss but things are never as hey seem. 6 months of messy back and forth and then this week he totally turned his back on me/ I feel very lost and both things have hit me hard.

Anxiety/feeling not good enough

replies: 2

Hi, I'm new to this forum, I've decided to reach out because I can't seem to hold it together, my insides are literally hurting, I have a hernia on my esophagus, and I know stress makes it worse, which is what I mean in saying my insides literally hurt lol. I have been suffering anxiety for the past four years, so much has happened that has made the anxiety worse, I don't feel comfortable in sharing just yet, but its been a lot to take in. I always try to help others out, i hate confrontation and have recently been in the middle of helping family members reconcile and defuse what could have been an all out family war, now that they have made up and the peace made (mostly due to my help) I am left discarded, not needed and not contacted. I always try to see the best in everyone and help others out, but no one knows how much I'm suffering inside. I know the only answer is to just take care of ME, but I can't just be like that, I wish I was not so empathetic and caring and take on others feelings. I also work part time, I feel like I'm just not good enough for my job? (I know I must be because I've been there 9 years) but the anxiety kicks in suggesting "your not good enough, smart enough' etc, plus I suffer socially in social work situations with colleagues., I've always been an introvert/quiet person. The basic part is that I feel not SMART enough, i never completed year 12 and went to Uni, although I'm at Uni now, I often feel dumb and that I will never complete my degree so why bother! arghh Anxiety sucks. I found this forum and it's opened my eyes to how many other people are in the same boat as me. I will share at some stage the events that have happened the last couple of years, thank you for reading

A toxic "friend"

replies: 2

Hiya, I'm new to this so I don't exactly know how to start but I've been dealing with a really toxic person who I was friends with for a while, she starts of nice for a few weeks then gets meaner and meaner, eventually getting to the point where every time you walk up to her she immediatly starts to berate me with insults about me being trans and just mean things in general, I started this thread hoping that we could share incidents like this one happening to us and what to do about it

Broken

replies: 3

I am looking after someone very close to me (serious health issues) but feel I am running on empty. I was already broken so what ever I can give does'nt leave much. I'm not going anywhere, I can't. This feels very hollow. Strangers who know where I a... View more

Never good enough

replies: 3

I've never felt good enough. I'm angry at anyone who seems successful. Any criticism or failure sets me off moaning about others success and how useless they are. I think the humans, the system is so unfair and I feel powerless to do anything to chan... View more

I just looked through this site and all I see is "donate"

replies: 3

I want help but all I see is other asking for money. Why is the first page here asking for money. I want money, donate to me instead. Beyond Blue give something back.....

Hi all

replies: 1

Just saying hi! Going through the spin dryer of life atm. Seems like a safe place to be right now. Homeless, relationshipless and feeling pretty worthless.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Really struggling at the moment replies: 2

My husband has a drinking problem replies: 4

Lonely and tired replies: 1

Double the grief in 1 year replies: 2

Anxiety/feeling not good enough replies: 2

A toxic "friend" replies: 2

Broken replies: 3

Never good enough replies: 3

I just looked through this site and all I see is "donate" replies: 3

Hi all replies: 1