Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Just_Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 703

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

Kazzl Helpful books and resources
  • replies: 103

Hi everyone Members often refer in their posts to books and other resources that have helped them. This thread is a place to list those books so all members can find them easily. The titles might include scholarly, mass market and self-help books, sp... View more

Hi everyone Members often refer in their posts to books and other resources that have helped them. This thread is a place to list those books so all members can find them easily. The titles might include scholarly, mass market and self-help books, specialist websites or blogs, podcasts, vodcasts or print or online journals or magazines. Please note BB has a list of websites and resources under Get Help, so maybe check there first for online resources. (Also note that we cannot include live links to online resources.) To make things easy to find, please put the category of the content first in bold, then the title of the book and then, if you want, a brief comment. Please note that anything listed here reflects the member's views only. Publications and other resources are not necessarily endorsed by beyondblue. Happy reading!

Chris_B Worried about other users - how are we all doing?
  • replies: 43

Hi everyone, I thought I'd check in to see how everyone is doing; while the nature of these forums is as a place of support, and it feels good to help others, we need to make sure our own welfare is looked after too. Sometimes reading the experiences... View more

Hi everyone, I thought I'd check in to see how everyone is doing; while the nature of these forums is as a place of support, and it feels good to help others, we need to make sure our own welfare is looked after too. Sometimes reading the experiences of others can be validating, because we feel 'we've been there', but sometimes it can also be a trigger for bringing up unpleasant feelings. I've started this thread so we can have a constructive discussion about helping others and helping ourselves - how do you cope when you read about others in distress? Do you have a self-care plan in place, and if so, what is it? Really looking forward to hearing from you all.

All discussions

Brett Letting Go of Perfectionism
  • replies: 16

Hi All, I have spoken to a few people about high standards or perfectionism. The link between perfectionism and my mental health has been strong for over two decades. If I don't do a perfect job (in my mind) there is something seriously wrong with me... View more

Hi All, I have spoken to a few people about high standards or perfectionism. The link between perfectionism and my mental health has been strong for over two decades. If I don't do a perfect job (in my mind) there is something seriously wrong with me. If someone is looking at me, again, (in my mind) they are srutinising me and there is something seriously wrong with me. I am tired. I am trying to get used to doing a good enough job instead of a perfect job. It is taking time but I am already feeling the benefits. And if someone really is looking or staring at me then so be it; the problem is their's and not mine. My guess is that some of us worry too much about what we do and what other people think. I am not talking about doing the wrong thing or hurting other people. Instead I am talking (actually rambling) about lowering the care factor to a healthy level. If anyone knows more about lowering high or perfectionistic standards, or has something to add, please give me a reply. Kind Regards, Brett.

white knight You best perspective of your condition?
  • replies: 0

I've noticed for some time my tendency to dwell...on my ills and making excuses for too many things that are caused by bipolar, anxiety, depression or dysthymia. So these excuses are like a glue on my brain that seems to forever be stuck in my ways. ... View more

I've noticed for some time my tendency to dwell...on my ills and making excuses for too many things that are caused by bipolar, anxiety, depression or dysthymia. So these excuses are like a glue on my brain that seems to forever be stuck in my ways. For example- A friend recently told me- "do you sleep much better with a CPAP machine? (he knows I've had sleep apnea), to which I replied yes, much better but I suspect I will never sleep well due to my anxiety history. What rubbish that was! And the reason it was is because apart from a slight relapse last week I haven't had anxiety for 6-7 years. Another example- My wife asked me in conversation - "You look tired today, did you sleep well"? I replied "no I didn't but I could be entering a depressive episode". Rubbish also because speculation isn't fact. I know the reasons why I resort to these excuses- fear, insecurity and the huge ramifications my disorders have place don my life over the last 18 years of treatment not to mention the harrowing life I had emotionally prior to that for decades. It is tattooed on my mind that nearly everything that happens in my life has a mental illness factor attached to it. Time for some reality. Some time ago I wrote a thread called (use google) Beyondblue topic is it your illness or your personality ….wher eI discuss some of this topic. I've realized it is time to move on, not from my illnesses but from the tagging of my illnesses to what could be everyday events like feeling tired...simply because I dreamt a lot or went to bed late or my dog took most of our bed! The correct perspective I'm embarking on now is the next step, we all need to continue to keep stepping forward and never stop stepping on those stones to get to the other side. I'm going to leave my blaming on my mental illnesses to the obvious symptoms now. The moods swings, the depression, the chest pains and the high emotions can be grouped in there but not the everyday irregularities humans have. It's time the separate the two. Fact and fiction. Memories or dwelling. Tiredness or older age. For me it is time to clarify and move on. Are you ready for the next step in your recovery? TonyWK

smallwolf When is the last time you can remember feeling totally at peace?
  • replies: 14

I put the above question into the Cafe this week and to use a fishing analogy, got a couple of bites. A little birdie suggested a thread be created on this topic. Finding, identifying, writing about moments in our lives when we can remember feeling t... View more

I put the above question into the Cafe this week and to use a fishing analogy, got a couple of bites. A little birdie suggested a thread be created on this topic. Finding, identifying, writing about moments in our lives when we can remember feeling totally at peace. You can reply more than once if you like, after all, we would each hope that feeling of being at peace will be repeated more than once in our lives? Here is a space where you can tell a story about the last time you were at peace. It may become a suggestion to someone else and inspire them into action? For me... my story relates to a walk in the gardens a while back. A time with no negative thoughts. But you will have to wait until I get back from shopping to hear my story. So the question to reflect upon and answer is this... When is the last time you can remember feeling totally at peace?

Happygoluckymiss How to obtain closure
  • replies: 4

Hello all! i am on my journey of healing - which I am very thankful for and feel blessed that I can finally see through this fog. I’m asking you wonderful people how and what do you do to obtain closure and move forward. I have contemplated writing a... View more

Hello all! i am on my journey of healing - which I am very thankful for and feel blessed that I can finally see through this fog. I’m asking you wonderful people how and what do you do to obtain closure and move forward. I have contemplated writing a letter, sending a text etc but I feel it may be in vain. The closure is for me and was hoping this beautiful and knowledgeable could help me? - take care everyone happygoluckymiss

Traveller73 Mindfulness
  • replies: 5

A common thread on here is that mindfulness has not worked for them. But am wondering if its because the symptoms persist and the thoughts keep coming back? This will happen. The trick is to notice the thought. "I notice i'm thinking about X', then g... View more

A common thread on here is that mindfulness has not worked for them. But am wondering if its because the symptoms persist and the thoughts keep coming back? This will happen. The trick is to notice the thought. "I notice i'm thinking about X', then go back to concentrating on your mindfulness exercise. It might happen several times. It takes practice as you retrain your brain to focus. I hope this post encourages others to try mindfulnrss as it really helped me. The book 'The Happiness Trap' really goes into it more andtotally recommendd. Good luck.

dontpaintbynumbers beyond blue guides/articles
  • replies: 2

Which of the beyond blue articles has spoken to you and how have you used it as a starting point to help yourself?

Which of the beyond blue articles has spoken to you and how have you used it as a starting point to help yourself?

Torte Not coping with noisy workplace
  • replies: 6

Just wondering if anybody has a similar issue to me and how they dealt with it. I have extreme stress reactions to noise and this is being triggered by conversations around me in the workplace. I work in an open plan, hot-desking environment and have... View more

Just wondering if anybody has a similar issue to me and how they dealt with it. I have extreme stress reactions to noise and this is being triggered by conversations around me in the workplace. I work in an open plan, hot-desking environment and have little to no control on how loud conversations around me can become. I've tried noise cancelling headphones, music, asking people to talk more quietly and/or move meetings to meeting rooms instead of standing around workdesks, putting up signs to indicate a 'quiet area' but can still end up crying, shaking and digging my nails into my skin so hard I break the skin by the end of the day. So instead I've had to isolate myself from my team to escape from the noise. My manager has been able to arrange an ergonomic assessment for me, with the outcome of getting equipment so that I can work in an area not normally set up for full day working, but it's isolated. I'm now starting to feel miserable and have significant difficulties collaborating with people because I spent all day, every work day, in a room by myself. I try to work one day per week with the rest of the team but some days only last 15 minutes before relocating to escape the noise. I've never had this issue until working in the hot-desking environment. Has anyone else experienced this? Did you have any success making complaints to change office culture? Did you see an occupational therapist or psychologist to get help coping with this situation?

Doolhof To All Experiencing a Natural Disaster
  • replies: 0

Hello Everyone, I'm sending out a message of care to all who are experiencing some kind of natural disaster as the title states. There may be people enduring hardship due to draught, lack of feed for stock, no water for crops and no income opportunit... View more

Hello Everyone, I'm sending out a message of care to all who are experiencing some kind of natural disaster as the title states. There may be people enduring hardship due to draught, lack of feed for stock, no water for crops and no income opportunities. Some people are experiencing the threat of bushfires and all that entails, maybe some of yo have needed to evacuate or fear for what may come with another day of fires in your region. I'm not sure if there are any floods in our land at present, our dam hasn't seen water for over a year. In some areas there have been storms, many places have experienced severe heat and in some cases power failures. Nature can throw some very harsh conditions our way. To all of you who are suffering in some way, I want to offer you this place to share your stories if you would like to. We can not always control nature nor what happens when it goes crazy or haywire. It can throw conditions at us that would try the strength of any person. Depression, stress and anxiety can so easily be triggered. For all of you who are suffering in some way, my thoughts are with you. Wishing you all some hope. From Dools

Emm78 Day 5 of dry January-quitting marijuana & alcohol
  • replies: 37

Hi, I’m on day 5 of my new life! Been struggling heaps with the emotional tears, insomnia, headaches, nausea, restlessness & frustration of resisting the temptation (as my husband is still smoking, but not in my presence & friends still drinking in f... View more

Hi, I’m on day 5 of my new life! Been struggling heaps with the emotional tears, insomnia, headaches, nausea, restlessness & frustration of resisting the temptation (as my husband is still smoking, but not in my presence & friends still drinking in front of me). atm I am unemployed after 2sacking, (1 not my fault)for last 13wks. With no govt help it’s becoming very hard to survive financially & then I have been rejected for every job applied for, I’m struggling to accept my medically 🤬 up body & brain & because I’m trying to be a better human decided to go cold 🦃! I found night times are the worst as for the past 5yrs my routine was to have a drink and a bong from apx 6pm. Longest I’ve gone is 8 days without a drink and about 2 without dope. Found marijuana.org had some good info & then remembered my friend recommended BB. The forum helped me survive another night I’m now in bed with a having cuddles from the Have counselling on Tuesday, so I’ll probably be back on here tomz. Thanks for the vent. Here’s to clean living!!!! Once all the yukkyness has gone 🥵🤯🤮

B_B_L_S 37 year old female - just realised she has a drinking problem
  • replies: 2

Hi All, Thanks for taking the time to read this. I’m a 37 year old single mum to one sweet 4 yo old girl. Left an abusive marriage 3 Years ago , and during the domestic abuse ( which lasted over 10 years) I used alcohol as a coping mechanism . Making... View more

Hi All, Thanks for taking the time to read this. I’m a 37 year old single mum to one sweet 4 yo old girl. Left an abusive marriage 3 Years ago , and during the domestic abuse ( which lasted over 10 years) I used alcohol as a coping mechanism . Making the decision to leave my husband wasn’t easy especially with a child, however I left because I didn’t want my daughter seeing or receiving the abuse. I have been to psychologists , other forms of natural therapy and I’m feeling much better however I am still using alcohol to get me through the week. At least 4 times a week . I would consider myself high functioning as no one really knows I have an issue. My current partner was the one who alerted me to the fact I hide vodka in my cupboard and secretly drink which is not ideal. I have an appt with GP next week and I really want to get better. I do think my drinking is caused by underlying depression or maybe even something else to do with the abuse I suffered for so long. Thank you