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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Quercus Loneliness and Isolation... The silent killers.
  • replies: 13

On the local radio station a guest speaker raises a topic that hits me hard. He describes visiting people to provide mental health support. All ages. All walks of life. With a curious commonality. Nearly all have almost no contacts on their phone who... View more

On the local radio station a guest speaker raises a topic that hits me hard. He describes visiting people to provide mental health support. All ages. All walks of life. With a curious commonality. Nearly all have almost no contacts on their phone who they can call and talk to. Some have no contacts at all. Driving my kids to school an hour away I realise this is why I committed to driving. Moving. Because human beings cope better with a community. So we moved to find one. The idea isn't new. An urban sociologist called Ray Oldenburg wrote about the need for 'Third places'. The first place is home. The second work or study. The third place is informal social spaces. Places to be part of a community. We see the words loneliness and isolation and the term no support network day after day on the forums. So I wanted to ask you... Where do you go to connect with people? What do you do to form fulfilling connections? I hope we can give people realistic ideas. Affordable. Practical. I want to brainstorm ideas of where to start. What to try. Anyone have a third place they have found rewarding? ❤ Nat

Abbie121 Weekend loneliness and isolation
  • replies: 9

Hey everyone Just wanted to get your thoughts and insights about coping with loneliness and feelings of isolation, particularly on the weekends. Having recently come out of a long-term relationship and just starting to feel somewhat okay about that a... View more

Hey everyone Just wanted to get your thoughts and insights about coping with loneliness and feelings of isolation, particularly on the weekends. Having recently come out of a long-term relationship and just starting to feel somewhat okay about that and trying to move forward, I find myself sitting at home alone every Saturday night and it's starting to get to me. I miss the closeness and intimacy of being at home with a loved one - I'm a homebody at heart. I have some friends who I sometimes initiate planning an outing with, but I find that if I don't do that, they don't ask me, so I'm alone most of the time when not at work. I know the common advice is to join groups, start new hobbies etc, but I'd prefer to be comfortable at home a lot of the time - and am definitely not ready for a new partner or to date. Would love to hear any advice or tips people have or if you've been in a similar situation. x

Loco23 A Big Decision To Make
  • replies: 3

I'm 26, been living at home with my mum and dad and older brother recently moved out. I've been going through a bit of a rough patch in the last four years since I graduated uni in that: - Ex girlfriend (4 year relationship) broke up with me. - Strug... View more

I'm 26, been living at home with my mum and dad and older brother recently moved out. I've been going through a bit of a rough patch in the last four years since I graduated uni in that: - Ex girlfriend (4 year relationship) broke up with me. - Struggled to find any long term relationship. Still single. - The career path that I've wanted since I was in primary school didn't work out. Resigned after 4 months. - Currently working a boring office job with no progression. - Lost 90% of my friends. - Not sure what my next career path should be? With my brother moving out, all my current friends living out of home with their fiancès/ girlfriends... It's really pushing me to just move to another state/ city and start fresh, find a new job and live on my own. But I'm not sure if I'm making another bad decision that might be a bit too rash. It just seems very appealing to just start a new life with a new job in a new city. Plus, I'm starting to feel a bit embaraased -26 year old man who still lives at home? It's what a friend of mine keeps pointing out anyway.

Jaysmit Looking for a friend
  • replies: 4

Hi guys im really embarrassed to say this but I’m feeling very very lonely and stuck and I’m just so desperate for a friend. I’m really not in a good place right now. I know I should see a professional but for some reason I feel like chatting to some... View more

Hi guys im really embarrassed to say this but I’m feeling very very lonely and stuck and I’m just so desperate for a friend. I’m really not in a good place right now. I know I should see a professional but for some reason I feel like chatting to someone going through similar issues..... But not having to wait hours for a reply. Is there anything else? By the way if someone googles my email or name will I show up on here?

Gizz_36 Smoking
  • replies: 2

I just gave up ciggareete and went on a e ciggareete it's been 3 months since I've had ciggarettes with all the tar and chemicals that come with tobacco now I got stressed out and depressed lately does it have something to do with giving up on smokin... View more

I just gave up ciggareete and went on a e ciggareete it's been 3 months since I've had ciggarettes with all the tar and chemicals that come with tobacco now I got stressed out and depressed lately does it have something to do with giving up on smoking or has it got to do with vaping just don't know much about the withdrawal symptoms of giving up smoking but I do use nicotine juice on my e ciggareete u know u hear all this negativity about e ciggarete I feel it's help me more I don't stink anymore I don't go outside to have a smoke anymore but my main question have I got bad depression from giving up smoking to vaping thanks

Dingbat1 Advice on how to understand room-mate who is chronic complainer
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone; This is easier with a bit of backstory. I have been living here for 3 years with a roomie that I've known from high school. He was in a major car accident where he had died for 2 minutes. This had happened 13 years ago but he is still de... View more

Hi everyone; This is easier with a bit of backstory. I have been living here for 3 years with a roomie that I've known from high school. He was in a major car accident where he had died for 2 minutes. This had happened 13 years ago but he is still dealing with constant pain (Had a knee recon 2 years ago which seems to slowly be helping now) but the rest of his body is stuffed. He has recently been told from a doctor that he will start to lose brain capacity very soon and struggle to remember things. Now the title of the post I understand is extremely selfish since the traumatic event that he has had to go through - but for anyone who thinks they have helpful advice please feel free to respond - I may need to reinvigorate my sympathy well so to speak. I moved away for a little bit in the middle but we've remained good mates - and I've moved in with him for the last 3 years. Currently he is on a plethora of pain medication which almost seems like a competition to him as to how many he needs to take. In his own words he's sick of being used as a guinea pig but suggest taking some away slowly and watch it crumble. He seems to be telling anybody who will listen to his daily complaints and seems to wonder why he's losing friends. It's his birthday on Monday and he's having a small get together on Saturday - but we're not even sure if anyone is going to show. His family and I (we're not related) have tried suggesting that maybe he needs to get into therapy again but he doesn't want to. In some appointments (even with doctors) he becomes violent. I do try to get him out of the house a couple of times a week - even if it just means helping me with some grocery shopping. He does seem receptive to that although it is a bit of a task. He does his own shopping with his mum every 2nd Wednesday which is good - but he will make his mum drive here with smokes + milk everyday after that. He doesn't hold a drivers licence (which is fair enough) but he knows I will help him out and take him if he needs but he must come with me. Overall; I realise this post is extremely selfish but I would like to request help on how to continue dealing with this. I understand that he's been through and still going through a traumatic event - however the constant complaining is really wearing me down. Even a question as simple as "How did you sleep last night" was met with a smart alleck response by me as I knew he was only asking so he could tell me how he slept.

Guest5643 Thankyou!
  • replies: 7

I just want to say a massive thankyou to all you wonderfull people on here helping each other

I just want to say a massive thankyou to all you wonderfull people on here helping each other

RaRa1 Anxiety and depression stopping me from working which causes more anxiety
  • replies: 8

Hi I’ve been calling in sick heaps the past few months due to not having the energy, and an overall exhaustion from my anxiety and depression. Even though I take these mental health days for myself, most of the time it causes more anxiety about how i... View more

Hi I’ve been calling in sick heaps the past few months due to not having the energy, and an overall exhaustion from my anxiety and depression. Even though I take these mental health days for myself, most of the time it causes more anxiety about how it will look and what people will think. I couldn’t bear the thought of going in to work today and I told my boss. And now I’m lying in bed my anxiety is heightened cause I just took a day off on Monday due to a severe tension headache. It’s like a vicious cycle and I know I’ll be bad on Monday morning when I have to go back to work. How could I manage taking the days I need without it causing further anxiety? Does anyone have any tips that have worked for them or am I alone in this cycle?

sparrowhawk How to know/do what you want?
  • replies: 2

I notice in myself that I have the tendency to do what people tell me or suggest I should do before even thinking about if it's something I want to do. I think I have always been this way...my dad is great but quite controlling, and I think in a way ... View more

I notice in myself that I have the tendency to do what people tell me or suggest I should do before even thinking about if it's something I want to do. I think I have always been this way...my dad is great but quite controlling, and I think in a way it's a sort of defence mechanism to prevent me from disappointing or upsetting people. If I do what they want they will be happy and won't reject me. It's how I've always tended to be with friends and acquaintances. Someone very close to me got quite irritated with that and pulled me up on it. It honestly made me feel terrible and like the most annoying person on the face of the earth. I don't know if anyone else has this sort of thing going on in them, but if so, how do you manage it? How do you even KNOW what you want? I think I have been so used to just doing what everyone tells me to do that I don't even think about my wants, hopes, dreams, etc.

insertaname This question is a bit confronting...however considering you're here: How long did it take you to accept your diagnosis/illness?
  • replies: 4

I am asking this as person who was in complete denial. I didn't like the medication it made me not want to even bat an eye. I was so upset with how i was diagnosed with this. At the time i felt like nobody would stay with me if i told them what i had... View more

I am asking this as person who was in complete denial. I didn't like the medication it made me not want to even bat an eye. I was so upset with how i was diagnosed with this. At the time i felt like nobody would stay with me if i told them what i had and I did get treated that way by former friends. I still dislike it - but i've become pretty stable and i have to work with it. It took me about 2-3 years... but even then i still sort of was in denial but took the meds. Mental illness is a serious thing. If you feel that you might have something go consult a s GP - I'd rather know than find out that way. It took me until I was 19 to "accept" this illness but I wrote stuff in a diary - negatives and positives of life and i felt that this was my "turning point". Here are a few snippets from when i was 19: Home is what you want it to be, a place of ease and comfort that lovingly welcomes you regardless of your circumstances. Not everyone knows where and when and what they want to do, see, learn and live happily with. People are still figuring that out. Stop worrying about the past, the ifs and the hypotheticals. You will waste all that precious time – where you could be doing something you love whatever that may be. If you have dreams and you want them, what is stopping you? Reach for it! Listen to your heart, mind and soul. If you can convince yourself why you want to accomplish that dream, you are bound to find someone see that straight away. Be happy with what you have got – even if it does not sound impressive with yourself. Make the most if it. Stop worrying about yesterday’s worries. It is a new day today and the next day will be tomorrow. I have problems, feelings and thoughts just like everyone else why can I not have them privileges. Why must everything be what YOU see, think and believe? I do not want to be like you and change for you. If you cannot accept me for who I am that is fine. I WILL find out and search elsewhere to see if someone else can. I don't think any of my negative anecdotes are useful here. But that was my (+) thoughts.