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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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bpd1990 Small steps and worth
  • replies: 2

Its not easy. No matter what… no matter your circumstance, the mistake you have made, where you live, how you handle things, no matter what you are worthy of life! Sometimes it feel your not but if you take anything from this story take that you are ... View more

Its not easy. No matter what… no matter your circumstance, the mistake you have made, where you live, how you handle things, no matter what you are worthy of life! Sometimes it feel your not but if you take anything from this story take that you are worthy of life or care and support and don't stop til you get it. I have many times thought that I am not worthy of life. I have hated myself for so many years hurt myself in so many ways. I’ve given up hurting myself in different way to take up other ways of hurting myself and not even realising it. I’ve stayed alive for my family they have been my rock. A doctor got me to write the reasons I wanted to live and it was because of my family I use to read that every morning to remember why I was awake why I had to get out of bed. I have never ever done it for myself. I would live my life around who was home and do a little as possible deep down I didn’t want to be here but I had to do it for my family. These past twelve months I have learnt a lot. I have had to fight to be heard to be understood. I have never been bigger in size then I am now but you know what I can honestly say I have never been happier. Twelve months ago I could spend $60 at KFC and eat it all. Not because I was hungry but it was just another way of hurting myself. I cant remember hurting myself in front of people I would do what ever I could do to hide it but you cant hide weight gain. You can definitely try I have been there but it doesn’t work. I can not remember a time in my life where I have not hated myself or been hurting myself. I always thought I had to be skinner, to be healthy to be worthy of life to deserve life I need to change. But as I said at the start and I want to make it clear right now right here you are worthy of life! Start small being a borderline I thought it had to be all or nothing but its not true. Start small. One small change. Get out of bed for an hour and then maybe two and increase or don’t, it’s a step right? Journal once a week increase it to twice a week and continue. Research place that can help you more. Sit with it go with it or don’t go with it. Walk up and down the hallway and then maybe to the drive way maybe not. Don’t think everything has to all pain or all wellness. You may not realise it straight away its going to feel weird but the biggest thing I have learnt in my journey so far is small step and no matter what YOU ARE WORTHY!

Lee13 File report request help?
  • replies: 1

I received my file notes after a lot of back and forth with my previous psychologist. I have found them to be illegible though. Can I request my previous psychologist to type these file notes so they are readable. If she says no, which I’m expecting,... View more

I received my file notes after a lot of back and forth with my previous psychologist. I have found them to be illegible though. Can I request my previous psychologist to type these file notes so they are readable. If she says no, which I’m expecting, what should I say to her? Any information would be appreciated. Thanks

Ace.x-ray Issues with job
  • replies: 1

Ever since coming back from working in the UK I have been struggling to find work because my shyness gets in the way. In the past few years all my life I have been tough to get a full time job so the only thing I could do is volunteer at lifeline and... View more

Ever since coming back from working in the UK I have been struggling to find work because my shyness gets in the way. In the past few years all my life I have been tough to get a full time job so the only thing I could do is volunteer at lifeline and animal shelters to build up my confidence. Back at home I have applied for so many jobs, and haven't gotten a reply from anyone and it is disheartening am I doing something wrong? I haven't been successful in finding work yet. But last December 2019 I applied for a cleaning job and I was happy. Been working with them for almost 3 months now, it is shift work so I can choose days and times to clean for customers. But the past 3 weeks wasn't much shifts because it was the holidays, and sometimes when I am booked for a clean the customer cancels. Like this week yesterday the customer I was supposed to clean for didn't answer the door, I got to work on time and was at the right address. So I knocked on the door no answer, than knocked a second time, still no answer then I decided to text and call the customer but still no answer. I had to wait in the car and talk to an employer, she told me to keep contacting and if the customer doesn't contact me within 20 minutes my employer told me I could go home. I drove 30 minutes to get to the customers homey and I ended up driving home. I was told I will still get paid for that mishap. I was so annoyed and angry, I was up early morning and ready for work. Either he was still asleep or forgot he booked a clean for that day. By afternoon I still haven't heard from the customer. Yesterday night I got a message from my company that my clean for today 31st Friday, was cancelled. I got upset and am not happy with this company. But I understand people have other things to do so I shouldn't get so angry at them for that. I am still feeling upset about the past 2 days of my cleans being forgotten and cancelled on the same week. Housekeeping isn't my career but I do it for financial stability. I am still struggling with earning money and I am lost and don't know what to do. Should I continue with this job I have now even though it is early to quit. Or I can apply for another job while I continue picking up shifts. I am lost in life, don't know what to do with my future. I am planning to go back and study but I need money to apply for a course and I barely earn enough. I have been feeling down lately and should see a GP.

Qua Introducing me ;)
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, This is my first post ever. I want to share my story of recovery from anxiety and depression. That is why I joined the forum.I am 47 I suffered anxiety from a childhood experience, around the age of 6. I lived with it all thru my life. F... View more

Hi everyone, This is my first post ever. I want to share my story of recovery from anxiety and depression. That is why I joined the forum.I am 47 I suffered anxiety from a childhood experience, around the age of 6. I lived with it all thru my life. Flight or fight was a constant. Around the age of 18 I was diagnosed with depression.The combination of anxiety and depression stopped me from believing that I was capable of anything. I had dreams but I just drifted really. A life of frustration. Knowing things could be better but not knowing how to change it. Recreational drugs and alcohol have been a constant in my life, as they temporarily filled a void that had always been there. I have been on anti-depressants on and off since I was 18. I never had any self-worth. I have been suicidal in the past. The turning point? - A week ago I had conversations with a friend, 5 days to myself and i stopped drinking (partner and kids were camping). I desperately wanted things to change. My relationship with my partner has been strained for some time. I watched 2 documentaries on Netflix that I believe played a massive role in the change in me 3 days ago. The documentaries are 'Brene Brown - The Call to Courage' and 'Heal'. The day after I watched them, I sat down and said out loud to myself - 'I'm not that girl anymore. She did what she did for survival at the time. I'm not that person anymore. I release her. I am not ashamed of who I am. i am not that girl anymore. I give myself the right to be who I want to be and be my authentic self'. I cried, I released, and I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders that had been there for decades. I felt like a whole person for the first time in my adult life. I honoured myself by doing 3 things that I wanted to do, clipped my hair, I painted my nails black and I had my eyeliner tattoed on. Since that day I feel like me for the first time. I am no longer subscribing to anyone else's script of how I should look and how I should live my life. I am happy. It is an odd feeling at times because I have never felt this before. I hope my story inspires others not to give up. The bandaid effect of anti-depressants and psychology sessions was not enough for me. I had to get to the root cause and release it, and that I did. It's been a rough old road but I didn't give up and I'm so glad for that.When I look in the mirror now I love what I see. I am so grateful for what has happened to me

JustPeachy Activities for the idle
  • replies: 6

Hi! I am a 19 y/o who has just enrolled in a Diploma of counselling starting after May (which I am very excited about). However, I have absolutely nothing to do until then and historically me having nothing to do and nowhere to be everyday hasn't bee... View more

Hi! I am a 19 y/o who has just enrolled in a Diploma of counselling starting after May (which I am very excited about). However, I have absolutely nothing to do until then and historically me having nothing to do and nowhere to be everyday hasn't been good for my mental health in terms of anxiety and depression. I have only 1 friend at the moment and she is extremely busy so I have been trying to find some things I can do on my own to occupy myself, but I have been struggling. I have been looking at job ads daily and applying to whatever I can find but there doesn't seem to be much going around in my area for an unskilled worker at the moment. I have also looked into some short courses in pottery and some other areas, just for fun and it seems that most are either booked up or run too late at night for me to feel safe travelling home on public transport for upwards of 1 1/2 hours. I have also looked into volunteering in my area and most are either not of interest to me or require me to have some sort of qualification. SO, would any of you lovely people have any ideas of things I can do that will get me out the house and meeting people my age? I don't mind if it costs some money. I know it seems like I'm being picky but I really want it to be something that I'd enjoy regardless of whether I end up making a friend there or not. Thankyou in advance!

white knight "Normal people" will not understand
  • replies: 4

A phrase comes to mind- "Out of sight out of mind". And so it is fact that a person with a "hidden" mental illness, hidden in terms of the actual physical abnormality in our brains, cannot be fully understood by those without one. Even the most empat... View more

A phrase comes to mind- "Out of sight out of mind". And so it is fact that a person with a "hidden" mental illness, hidden in terms of the actual physical abnormality in our brains, cannot be fully understood by those without one. Even the most empathetic "normal" person will not understand- why? To clarify things I always reverse the situation. So let's say you are watching an aircraft stunt team. You watch in amazement of their aerobatics but one plane breaks off from the group and lands. He approaches you and begins to tell you that the reason he broke off was that the ailerons and the hydraulics in the rudder screw were faulty. You scratch your head wondering what he's talking about. It would be possible to understand him if you were to be mechanically and aircraft minded and when the mechanics took apart the pieces you saw the reason for the damage. This is not possible with our minds, to take them apart. Onlookers are restricted to how much they can extend themselves to "see inside your mind". Then there is the human nature of selfishness. I had a long time friend that, upon saying to him "I've been down lately" his reply was- "gee Tony, all I want to do is have some fun, I'm not interested in deep and meaningful stuff" Did I lose him as a friend- yes, was I angry- no, he is entitled to his low level compassion and I'm not in this world to change that. So, family members and friends will have limited listening time for your issues and as the years roll by it also reduces as they accept it when you go to bed for hours during the day. This further isolates you. It might also infuriate you when a person with an obvious physical disability is given all the empathy your associates can muster. For these reasons another saying comes to mind- "birds of a feather flock together" In our case forums like this one are beneficial especially for support between professional medical visits. Group therapy sessions might also be helpful. I recall about 35 years ago I had an issue with a relative. I went to a group meeting with the organisation - "GROW". After telling the group about my conflict with this person a man approached and gave me a small book and told me to read chapter 3- emotional blackmail. That 2 pages made clear to me that my relative indeed had serious issues and it wasnt my fault that I was the victim. Another quote- "Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean it isn't so" Lemony Snicket The phrase "Get over it" is one I ignore. TonyWK

AMItch101 I don’t know what I feel
  • replies: 2

I don’t honestly know what I’m feeling, I’m honestly hating the person I’m becoming.. I’m always angry, snap so easily and honestly feel hopeless! I feel so pressured and like a major burden at home and it honestly kills me! I can’t hold a job, I can... View more

I don’t honestly know what I’m feeling, I’m honestly hating the person I’m becoming.. I’m always angry, snap so easily and honestly feel hopeless! I feel so pressured and like a major burden at home and it honestly kills me! I can’t hold a job, I can’t feel free to always be myself, I’m lonely, I’m envious, I’m jealous. I see everyone in my life move forward, and I feel as though I’m trapped in some sort of non-existent existence, accomplishing nothing, doing nothing! Honestly, I am nothing. Can’t say I’ve had a rough life, in fact, it’s pretty decent by all accounts, but I can’t accept me, if that makes any sense. I have no one to talk to.. I’m always contemplating and rethinking everything!! I feel being gay, while no one In my family rejects it... I still feel I subconsciously hide myself.. like I don’t know how to explain. I’m secluded, act really straight, dodge questions regarding sexuality and feel like I self jeopardise romance chances! I constantly have a inner feeling of just running away, move to a city, no money, no friends, no family, and no one to disappoint! And I feel life would be better. I’m so afraid of my life. I’m so afraid of what I am. I’m so afraid of never being happy. I’m so afraid of being alone forever. I’m so afraid of my feelings. I’m so afraid of myself. I’m feeling so empty... I snap all the time! And I’m scared of myself, I have no one to talk to! No one understands how I feel, and I can’t deal with it.. I sit and cry at nights thinking of stupid things. And just things I should be doing with myself! I want someone to talk to! I want someone to help keep my thought at bay! I want someone to listen! I want someone to understand! I want someone to accept me for me! I want someone to see me! I’ve never felt like I truly belong here, like I’m stranded with no place to go. I’ve never been true. I can’t look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. Now after writing this, something I’ve never been able to do! It seems like I’m just drawing attention. I don’t know, this could be just me overthinking! I’m just honestly scared of how my thoughts will adapt as time goes on! I’m sorry for anyone reading this!

Charligal Needing help with my anger and sadness
  • replies: 4

Anyone know of any coping strategies that can help calm anger ? So many bad things have happened i get so angry and it then leads to depression ... i feel alone and have no clue how to cope ... my world is always so sad now and no matter who i talk t... View more

Anyone know of any coping strategies that can help calm anger ? So many bad things have happened i get so angry and it then leads to depression ... i feel alone and have no clue how to cope ... my world is always so sad now and no matter who i talk to its not going away

Summer Rose Hollywood and The Bigger Picture
  • replies: 105

My daughter asked me to watch a film with her the other day. It was one of her favourite movies that I had somehow missed called Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was a well scripted, touching, coming of age story that in my opinion dealt sensitively a... View more

My daughter asked me to watch a film with her the other day. It was one of her favourite movies that I had somehow missed called Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was a well scripted, touching, coming of age story that in my opinion dealt sensitively and fairly accurately with mental health and other tricky adolescent issues. My daughter said she loved the film because one of the main characters " is like me". Like me. The words rolled around in my mind. It occurred to me that there are few film or TV characters that are actually like my beautiful girl, who suffers from anxiety and OCD. It also dawned on me that some of the characters currently on the screen who do have OCD are almost insulting. Take Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, for example. He is a walking, talking billboard for the lighter side of autism and OCD but, in my opinion, his character does nothing to contribute to the community's greater understanding of what these conditions are really like to live with. I think it's fair to estimate that the global television and movie industry makes billions of dollars annually telling stories about characters with mental health conditions. Oscar winning blockbusters such as, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Ordinary People, Silver Linings Playbook and a Beautiful Mind have certainly played a role in raising awareness, but is that enough? Given that inaccurate film representations of mental illness can profoundly contribute to stigma and the reinforcement of unhelpful stereotypes, does the industry have a community obligation to inform? Or is just entertainment? Or does anything designed to raise awareness do some good? Love to hear what you think.

Moonstruck Self-care....or is it laziness?
  • replies: 11

Was reading a book by a medical professional, with recognised expertise in mental health (anxiety, depression) In referring to that time of the early morning when just upon waking....(I have felt it many times) that feeling that you would rather just... View more

Was reading a book by a medical professional, with recognised expertise in mental health (anxiety, depression) In referring to that time of the early morning when just upon waking....(I have felt it many times) that feeling that you would rather just stay there and rest a while before facing the day. You may not have slept well, you're "just scared" of beginning the list of duties and responsibilities that you have on your "list"...you know? that list of "things to do" that well meaning friends and professional people advise to "keep busy, start a hobby, get involved in an activity, do some exercise, get out in the fresh air, get connected to others, volunteer for a charity to help others"......all worthwhile things sure.....but then we are told to take time just for "us". to nurture "ourselves" and when our body and mind are pushed to the limits, it's OK to "have a rest"...do what our bodies are telling us etc etc........... The book I read advised to "get out of bed immediately...just get out of bed, make a cup of tea and move around"...don't give in to the need or urge to lie peacefully resting. ! So now I am confused. I am in my 60s and am really struggling more with ordinary physical things like housework, going for walks....due to bad hip and lower back pain...just going shopping around the streets, nothing out of the ordinary....can have me crying with pain for the rest of the day/night........so getting the balance right between "getting exercise and keeping busy" and allowing myself to take it easy and retreat from the world occasionally without feeling GUILTY is not easy. I am battling anxiety and, in the past, panic attacks, dependence on alcohol to lessen the anxiety, some PTSD and I feel I have come a long way. Am I entitled to "experience the peace and safety of my bed first thing in the morning"...or is this being "lazy"? Do I have to join a club or push myself to go for longer walks each day, no matter how much pain it causes me? Do I "need to get out of the house"more? Or do I just follow my instincts at giving my mind and body what they tell me they need? If I feel peaceful sometimes just doing nothing....is this being lazy? Your thoughts would be welcome.......peace and love to you all.....Moon S.