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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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JustPeachy Activities for the idle
  • replies: 6

Hi! I am a 19 y/o who has just enrolled in a Diploma of counselling starting after May (which I am very excited about). However, I have absolutely nothing to do until then and historically me having nothing to do and nowhere to be everyday hasn't bee... View more

Hi! I am a 19 y/o who has just enrolled in a Diploma of counselling starting after May (which I am very excited about). However, I have absolutely nothing to do until then and historically me having nothing to do and nowhere to be everyday hasn't been good for my mental health in terms of anxiety and depression. I have only 1 friend at the moment and she is extremely busy so I have been trying to find some things I can do on my own to occupy myself, but I have been struggling. I have been looking at job ads daily and applying to whatever I can find but there doesn't seem to be much going around in my area for an unskilled worker at the moment. I have also looked into some short courses in pottery and some other areas, just for fun and it seems that most are either booked up or run too late at night for me to feel safe travelling home on public transport for upwards of 1 1/2 hours. I have also looked into volunteering in my area and most are either not of interest to me or require me to have some sort of qualification. SO, would any of you lovely people have any ideas of things I can do that will get me out the house and meeting people my age? I don't mind if it costs some money. I know it seems like I'm being picky but I really want it to be something that I'd enjoy regardless of whether I end up making a friend there or not. Thankyou in advance!

white knight "Normal people" will not understand
  • replies: 4

A phrase comes to mind- "Out of sight out of mind". And so it is fact that a person with a "hidden" mental illness, hidden in terms of the actual physical abnormality in our brains, cannot be fully understood by those without one. Even the most empat... View more

A phrase comes to mind- "Out of sight out of mind". And so it is fact that a person with a "hidden" mental illness, hidden in terms of the actual physical abnormality in our brains, cannot be fully understood by those without one. Even the most empathetic "normal" person will not understand- why? To clarify things I always reverse the situation. So let's say you are watching an aircraft stunt team. You watch in amazement of their aerobatics but one plane breaks off from the group and lands. He approaches you and begins to tell you that the reason he broke off was that the ailerons and the hydraulics in the rudder screw were faulty. You scratch your head wondering what he's talking about. It would be possible to understand him if you were to be mechanically and aircraft minded and when the mechanics took apart the pieces you saw the reason for the damage. This is not possible with our minds, to take them apart. Onlookers are restricted to how much they can extend themselves to "see inside your mind". Then there is the human nature of selfishness. I had a long time friend that, upon saying to him "I've been down lately" his reply was- "gee Tony, all I want to do is have some fun, I'm not interested in deep and meaningful stuff" Did I lose him as a friend- yes, was I angry- no, he is entitled to his low level compassion and I'm not in this world to change that. So, family members and friends will have limited listening time for your issues and as the years roll by it also reduces as they accept it when you go to bed for hours during the day. This further isolates you. It might also infuriate you when a person with an obvious physical disability is given all the empathy your associates can muster. For these reasons another saying comes to mind- "birds of a feather flock together" In our case forums like this one are beneficial especially for support between professional medical visits. Group therapy sessions might also be helpful. I recall about 35 years ago I had an issue with a relative. I went to a group meeting with the organisation - "GROW". After telling the group about my conflict with this person a man approached and gave me a small book and told me to read chapter 3- emotional blackmail. That 2 pages made clear to me that my relative indeed had serious issues and it wasnt my fault that I was the victim. Another quote- "Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean it isn't so" Lemony Snicket The phrase "Get over it" is one I ignore. TonyWK

AMItch101 I don’t know what I feel
  • replies: 2

I don’t honestly know what I’m feeling, I’m honestly hating the person I’m becoming.. I’m always angry, snap so easily and honestly feel hopeless! I feel so pressured and like a major burden at home and it honestly kills me! I can’t hold a job, I can... View more

I don’t honestly know what I’m feeling, I’m honestly hating the person I’m becoming.. I’m always angry, snap so easily and honestly feel hopeless! I feel so pressured and like a major burden at home and it honestly kills me! I can’t hold a job, I can’t feel free to always be myself, I’m lonely, I’m envious, I’m jealous. I see everyone in my life move forward, and I feel as though I’m trapped in some sort of non-existent existence, accomplishing nothing, doing nothing! Honestly, I am nothing. Can’t say I’ve had a rough life, in fact, it’s pretty decent by all accounts, but I can’t accept me, if that makes any sense. I have no one to talk to.. I’m always contemplating and rethinking everything!! I feel being gay, while no one In my family rejects it... I still feel I subconsciously hide myself.. like I don’t know how to explain. I’m secluded, act really straight, dodge questions regarding sexuality and feel like I self jeopardise romance chances! I constantly have a inner feeling of just running away, move to a city, no money, no friends, no family, and no one to disappoint! And I feel life would be better. I’m so afraid of my life. I’m so afraid of what I am. I’m so afraid of never being happy. I’m so afraid of being alone forever. I’m so afraid of my feelings. I’m so afraid of myself. I’m feeling so empty... I snap all the time! And I’m scared of myself, I have no one to talk to! No one understands how I feel, and I can’t deal with it.. I sit and cry at nights thinking of stupid things. And just things I should be doing with myself! I want someone to talk to! I want someone to help keep my thought at bay! I want someone to listen! I want someone to understand! I want someone to accept me for me! I want someone to see me! I’ve never felt like I truly belong here, like I’m stranded with no place to go. I’ve never been true. I can’t look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. Now after writing this, something I’ve never been able to do! It seems like I’m just drawing attention. I don’t know, this could be just me overthinking! I’m just honestly scared of how my thoughts will adapt as time goes on! I’m sorry for anyone reading this!

Charligal Needing help with my anger and sadness
  • replies: 4

Anyone know of any coping strategies that can help calm anger ? So many bad things have happened i get so angry and it then leads to depression ... i feel alone and have no clue how to cope ... my world is always so sad now and no matter who i talk t... View more

Anyone know of any coping strategies that can help calm anger ? So many bad things have happened i get so angry and it then leads to depression ... i feel alone and have no clue how to cope ... my world is always so sad now and no matter who i talk to its not going away

Summer Rose Hollywood and The Bigger Picture
  • replies: 105

My daughter asked me to watch a film with her the other day. It was one of her favourite movies that I had somehow missed called Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was a well scripted, touching, coming of age story that in my opinion dealt sensitively a... View more

My daughter asked me to watch a film with her the other day. It was one of her favourite movies that I had somehow missed called Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was a well scripted, touching, coming of age story that in my opinion dealt sensitively and fairly accurately with mental health and other tricky adolescent issues. My daughter said she loved the film because one of the main characters " is like me". Like me. The words rolled around in my mind. It occurred to me that there are few film or TV characters that are actually like my beautiful girl, who suffers from anxiety and OCD. It also dawned on me that some of the characters currently on the screen who do have OCD are almost insulting. Take Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, for example. He is a walking, talking billboard for the lighter side of autism and OCD but, in my opinion, his character does nothing to contribute to the community's greater understanding of what these conditions are really like to live with. I think it's fair to estimate that the global television and movie industry makes billions of dollars annually telling stories about characters with mental health conditions. Oscar winning blockbusters such as, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Ordinary People, Silver Linings Playbook and a Beautiful Mind have certainly played a role in raising awareness, but is that enough? Given that inaccurate film representations of mental illness can profoundly contribute to stigma and the reinforcement of unhelpful stereotypes, does the industry have a community obligation to inform? Or is just entertainment? Or does anything designed to raise awareness do some good? Love to hear what you think.

Moonstruck Self-care....or is it laziness?
  • replies: 11

Was reading a book by a medical professional, with recognised expertise in mental health (anxiety, depression) In referring to that time of the early morning when just upon waking....(I have felt it many times) that feeling that you would rather just... View more

Was reading a book by a medical professional, with recognised expertise in mental health (anxiety, depression) In referring to that time of the early morning when just upon waking....(I have felt it many times) that feeling that you would rather just stay there and rest a while before facing the day. You may not have slept well, you're "just scared" of beginning the list of duties and responsibilities that you have on your "list"...you know? that list of "things to do" that well meaning friends and professional people advise to "keep busy, start a hobby, get involved in an activity, do some exercise, get out in the fresh air, get connected to others, volunteer for a charity to help others"......all worthwhile things sure.....but then we are told to take time just for "us". to nurture "ourselves" and when our body and mind are pushed to the limits, it's OK to "have a rest"...do what our bodies are telling us etc etc........... The book I read advised to "get out of bed immediately...just get out of bed, make a cup of tea and move around"...don't give in to the need or urge to lie peacefully resting. ! So now I am confused. I am in my 60s and am really struggling more with ordinary physical things like housework, going for walks....due to bad hip and lower back pain...just going shopping around the streets, nothing out of the ordinary....can have me crying with pain for the rest of the day/night........so getting the balance right between "getting exercise and keeping busy" and allowing myself to take it easy and retreat from the world occasionally without feeling GUILTY is not easy. I am battling anxiety and, in the past, panic attacks, dependence on alcohol to lessen the anxiety, some PTSD and I feel I have come a long way. Am I entitled to "experience the peace and safety of my bed first thing in the morning"...or is this being "lazy"? Do I have to join a club or push myself to go for longer walks each day, no matter how much pain it causes me? Do I "need to get out of the house"more? Or do I just follow my instincts at giving my mind and body what they tell me they need? If I feel peaceful sometimes just doing nothing....is this being lazy? Your thoughts would be welcome.......peace and love to you all.....Moon S.

Aaronsis therising - my heartfelt appreciation
  • replies: 3

This post may seem unusual, but in a time when we don't really reach out to appreciate others so much I wanted to do that... One of the "Valued Contributors" - therising, I just wanted to express how grateful I am of who you are, what you share here ... View more

This post may seem unusual, but in a time when we don't really reach out to appreciate others so much I wanted to do that... One of the "Valued Contributors" - therising, I just wanted to express how grateful I am of who you are, what you share here and how you "raise" others and teach us how to "raise" others and ourselves. I love reading your posts, you are so inspiring and so full of warmth and wonder and the words you type are so meaningful and so very much can be learnt. I wanted to say thank you, for sharing and for teaching and for being here.."raising" others. Thank you therising AS

white knight Sensitive bipolar extrovert transition to defensive introvert
  • replies: 4

Are you sensitive? If so, often that comes from a side effect of a mental disorder, in my case bipolar. The problem for myself is that sensitivity has always been a problem because, I'm an extrovert. An extrovert receives comments/responses far more ... View more

Are you sensitive? If so, often that comes from a side effect of a mental disorder, in my case bipolar. The problem for myself is that sensitivity has always been a problem because, I'm an extrovert. An extrovert receives comments/responses far more often than a quiet person. Therefore the odds are I receive more criticism. With criticism comes self rejection then withdrawal and regret that I was just being my typical self- a talker. That cycle must have occurred a thousand times in my lifetime and every time it has, I've vowed to not talk as often, trouble is- it's in my nature. Any attempt to suppress my character results in returning to my true self, then hurt recurs. This constant cycle is difficult to foresee. Eg I was recruited to cook xmas lunch as both my mother in law and her partner was unwell. When I presented the meat fully cooked I was told by my MIL is was "burnt" she showed anger. I wanted to crawl into a hole. But the meat was cooked in a smoker oven and being burnt on the outside was unavoidable- turned out the meat inside was perfect. Of course I took the criticism badly especially as both her and her partner have two younger and fitter adult sons present that- you guessed it, never lifted a finger to help. So, since then I've been in defensive introvert mode noticeable by my good wife. This withdrawal is not dissimilar to the thread topic "fortress of survival" whereby my defenses are very secure. In this case it results in not visiting that couple even though they are unwell, I ring friends less often and shy away from visitors without being unfriendly. Each and every time this occurs I revert to the extrovert I've always been but being outspoken doesnt mean I'm full of confidence nor arrogant, if I was I wouldn't get hurt. What I have witnessed over many years is some people, particularly ex married now single people that have suffered maybe abuse or suppression in their marriage, have said "I am myself, accept me as I am". This is a sort of reaction to say "I haven't been allowed to be myself in the past so from now on I will not tolerate criticism from anyone that doesnt like my responses." And fair enough too. Perhaps that is an example of what I should take on, as a form of defence, to promote my own well being by remaining the extrovert. Or maybe bipolar is responsible for all these cycles and better to accept that fully and let it keep happening? Do any of you readers relate to this swing of behaviour? How do you cope? TonyWK

White_Rose Are you managing to be OK with all these dreadful fires.
  • replies: 20

Hello everyone. I was watching the news this morning on the ABC. It was a special program on the bush fires. It made me cry because of all the damage to people's homes and lives. Also the dreadful new that several firefighters have died. How is every... View more

Hello everyone. I was watching the news this morning on the ABC. It was a special program on the bush fires. It made me cry because of all the damage to people's homes and lives. Also the dreadful new that several firefighters have died. How is everyone coping? I know some of you live near fire affected areas and must be worrying a lot. Restricted power available and no way to contact family and friends must be quite difficult to bear. Being out of contact with our loved ones is so very hard. Film footage on TV shows how desperate it's getting. People are trapped because it is unsafe to leave their properties, but they cannot contact their families. Is there any particular way you have to help you cope with this? Perhaps we can share tips on how to remain calm amidst all this mayhem. For me prayer is the way to go. I am not near any fires though a few weeks ago we had lots of smoke blowing into our homes. Share you tips and help each other to manage. Mary

ImMehaboutlife 0% Motivation
  • replies: 1

Hi, I had Suicidal depression for 20 years and then finally took some meds and it went away for a while. Now got so much potential and time to achieve a lot for myself but just don’t want to do anything. Can’t be bothered to get out of bed. I feel li... View more

Hi, I had Suicidal depression for 20 years and then finally took some meds and it went away for a while. Now got so much potential and time to achieve a lot for myself but just don’t want to do anything. Can’t be bothered to get out of bed. I feel lifeless, unmotivated, and numb inside. I have people that love me, children, have a safe home, surf. I can’t be bothered to clean the house, I have no money but can’t be bothered to get a job, I don’t feel sad just absolutely exhausted and useless. I surf for hours and love it but can’t get important things done, like register my car in time or get a part time job to buy good food. It’s really pathetic considering the real problems people are having in Australia.