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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Charligal Needing help with my anger and sadness
  • replies: 4

Anyone know of any coping strategies that can help calm anger ? So many bad things have happened i get so angry and it then leads to depression ... i feel alone and have no clue how to cope ... my world is always so sad now and no matter who i talk t... View more

Anyone know of any coping strategies that can help calm anger ? So many bad things have happened i get so angry and it then leads to depression ... i feel alone and have no clue how to cope ... my world is always so sad now and no matter who i talk to its not going away

Summer Rose Hollywood and The Bigger Picture
  • replies: 105

My daughter asked me to watch a film with her the other day. It was one of her favourite movies that I had somehow missed called Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was a well scripted, touching, coming of age story that in my opinion dealt sensitively a... View more

My daughter asked me to watch a film with her the other day. It was one of her favourite movies that I had somehow missed called Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was a well scripted, touching, coming of age story that in my opinion dealt sensitively and fairly accurately with mental health and other tricky adolescent issues. My daughter said she loved the film because one of the main characters " is like me". Like me. The words rolled around in my mind. It occurred to me that there are few film or TV characters that are actually like my beautiful girl, who suffers from anxiety and OCD. It also dawned on me that some of the characters currently on the screen who do have OCD are almost insulting. Take Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, for example. He is a walking, talking billboard for the lighter side of autism and OCD but, in my opinion, his character does nothing to contribute to the community's greater understanding of what these conditions are really like to live with. I think it's fair to estimate that the global television and movie industry makes billions of dollars annually telling stories about characters with mental health conditions. Oscar winning blockbusters such as, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Ordinary People, Silver Linings Playbook and a Beautiful Mind have certainly played a role in raising awareness, but is that enough? Given that inaccurate film representations of mental illness can profoundly contribute to stigma and the reinforcement of unhelpful stereotypes, does the industry have a community obligation to inform? Or is just entertainment? Or does anything designed to raise awareness do some good? Love to hear what you think.

Moonstruck Self-care....or is it laziness?
  • replies: 11

Was reading a book by a medical professional, with recognised expertise in mental health (anxiety, depression) In referring to that time of the early morning when just upon waking....(I have felt it many times) that feeling that you would rather just... View more

Was reading a book by a medical professional, with recognised expertise in mental health (anxiety, depression) In referring to that time of the early morning when just upon waking....(I have felt it many times) that feeling that you would rather just stay there and rest a while before facing the day. You may not have slept well, you're "just scared" of beginning the list of duties and responsibilities that you have on your "list"...you know? that list of "things to do" that well meaning friends and professional people advise to "keep busy, start a hobby, get involved in an activity, do some exercise, get out in the fresh air, get connected to others, volunteer for a charity to help others"......all worthwhile things sure.....but then we are told to take time just for "us". to nurture "ourselves" and when our body and mind are pushed to the limits, it's OK to "have a rest"...do what our bodies are telling us etc etc........... The book I read advised to "get out of bed immediately...just get out of bed, make a cup of tea and move around"...don't give in to the need or urge to lie peacefully resting. ! So now I am confused. I am in my 60s and am really struggling more with ordinary physical things like housework, going for walks....due to bad hip and lower back pain...just going shopping around the streets, nothing out of the ordinary....can have me crying with pain for the rest of the day/night........so getting the balance right between "getting exercise and keeping busy" and allowing myself to take it easy and retreat from the world occasionally without feeling GUILTY is not easy. I am battling anxiety and, in the past, panic attacks, dependence on alcohol to lessen the anxiety, some PTSD and I feel I have come a long way. Am I entitled to "experience the peace and safety of my bed first thing in the morning"...or is this being "lazy"? Do I have to join a club or push myself to go for longer walks each day, no matter how much pain it causes me? Do I "need to get out of the house"more? Or do I just follow my instincts at giving my mind and body what they tell me they need? If I feel peaceful sometimes just doing nothing....is this being lazy? Your thoughts would be welcome.......peace and love to you all.....Moon S.

Aaronsis therising - my heartfelt appreciation
  • replies: 3

This post may seem unusual, but in a time when we don't really reach out to appreciate others so much I wanted to do that... One of the "Valued Contributors" - therising, I just wanted to express how grateful I am of who you are, what you share here ... View more

This post may seem unusual, but in a time when we don't really reach out to appreciate others so much I wanted to do that... One of the "Valued Contributors" - therising, I just wanted to express how grateful I am of who you are, what you share here and how you "raise" others and teach us how to "raise" others and ourselves. I love reading your posts, you are so inspiring and so full of warmth and wonder and the words you type are so meaningful and so very much can be learnt. I wanted to say thank you, for sharing and for teaching and for being here.."raising" others. Thank you therising AS

white knight Sensitive bipolar extrovert transition to defensive introvert
  • replies: 4

Are you sensitive? If so, often that comes from a side effect of a mental disorder, in my case bipolar. The problem for myself is that sensitivity has always been a problem because, I'm an extrovert. An extrovert receives comments/responses far more ... View more

Are you sensitive? If so, often that comes from a side effect of a mental disorder, in my case bipolar. The problem for myself is that sensitivity has always been a problem because, I'm an extrovert. An extrovert receives comments/responses far more often than a quiet person. Therefore the odds are I receive more criticism. With criticism comes self rejection then withdrawal and regret that I was just being my typical self- a talker. That cycle must have occurred a thousand times in my lifetime and every time it has, I've vowed to not talk as often, trouble is- it's in my nature. Any attempt to suppress my character results in returning to my true self, then hurt recurs. This constant cycle is difficult to foresee. Eg I was recruited to cook xmas lunch as both my mother in law and her partner was unwell. When I presented the meat fully cooked I was told by my MIL is was "burnt" she showed anger. I wanted to crawl into a hole. But the meat was cooked in a smoker oven and being burnt on the outside was unavoidable- turned out the meat inside was perfect. Of course I took the criticism badly especially as both her and her partner have two younger and fitter adult sons present that- you guessed it, never lifted a finger to help. So, since then I've been in defensive introvert mode noticeable by my good wife. This withdrawal is not dissimilar to the thread topic "fortress of survival" whereby my defenses are very secure. In this case it results in not visiting that couple even though they are unwell, I ring friends less often and shy away from visitors without being unfriendly. Each and every time this occurs I revert to the extrovert I've always been but being outspoken doesnt mean I'm full of confidence nor arrogant, if I was I wouldn't get hurt. What I have witnessed over many years is some people, particularly ex married now single people that have suffered maybe abuse or suppression in their marriage, have said "I am myself, accept me as I am". This is a sort of reaction to say "I haven't been allowed to be myself in the past so from now on I will not tolerate criticism from anyone that doesnt like my responses." And fair enough too. Perhaps that is an example of what I should take on, as a form of defence, to promote my own well being by remaining the extrovert. Or maybe bipolar is responsible for all these cycles and better to accept that fully and let it keep happening? Do any of you readers relate to this swing of behaviour? How do you cope? TonyWK

White_Rose Are you managing to be OK with all these dreadful fires.
  • replies: 20

Hello everyone. I was watching the news this morning on the ABC. It was a special program on the bush fires. It made me cry because of all the damage to people's homes and lives. Also the dreadful new that several firefighters have died. How is every... View more

Hello everyone. I was watching the news this morning on the ABC. It was a special program on the bush fires. It made me cry because of all the damage to people's homes and lives. Also the dreadful new that several firefighters have died. How is everyone coping? I know some of you live near fire affected areas and must be worrying a lot. Restricted power available and no way to contact family and friends must be quite difficult to bear. Being out of contact with our loved ones is so very hard. Film footage on TV shows how desperate it's getting. People are trapped because it is unsafe to leave their properties, but they cannot contact their families. Is there any particular way you have to help you cope with this? Perhaps we can share tips on how to remain calm amidst all this mayhem. For me prayer is the way to go. I am not near any fires though a few weeks ago we had lots of smoke blowing into our homes. Share you tips and help each other to manage. Mary

ImMehaboutlife 0% Motivation
  • replies: 1

Hi, I had Suicidal depression for 20 years and then finally took some meds and it went away for a while. Now got so much potential and time to achieve a lot for myself but just don’t want to do anything. Can’t be bothered to get out of bed. I feel li... View more

Hi, I had Suicidal depression for 20 years and then finally took some meds and it went away for a while. Now got so much potential and time to achieve a lot for myself but just don’t want to do anything. Can’t be bothered to get out of bed. I feel lifeless, unmotivated, and numb inside. I have people that love me, children, have a safe home, surf. I can’t be bothered to clean the house, I have no money but can’t be bothered to get a job, I don’t feel sad just absolutely exhausted and useless. I surf for hours and love it but can’t get important things done, like register my car in time or get a part time job to buy good food. It’s really pathetic considering the real problems people are having in Australia.

bipolarbeauty Overcoming Bipolar
  • replies: 1

This may be a 'different' kind of post. I want to send an encouragement to all of you and set an example that someone like me (who has been diagnosed with Bipolar), is recovering well. I'm working, I'm studying, driving and living independently by my... View more

This may be a 'different' kind of post. I want to send an encouragement to all of you and set an example that someone like me (who has been diagnosed with Bipolar), is recovering well. I'm working, I'm studying, driving and living independently by myself, and taking medications too - I'm doing so well. I also have a good support network as well, and have a mental health team beside me, as well as I stayed in a mental health rehab for nearly two years. I want to send a positive message that your current situation is NOT your final destination. You will get through this - just like what I've been through. So hold on, it will get better - there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you have any questions/comments I would like to hear it - please don't be shy.

Vicbuilder Anyone know how to look after yourself when feeling down or a sense of learned helplessness
  • replies: 3

Hi, Some days i feel down or a whats the point feeling i'll never achieve anything anyway. How do you guys get up and do stuff? or even just like shower in the morning? thanks!

Hi, Some days i feel down or a whats the point feeling i'll never achieve anything anyway. How do you guys get up and do stuff? or even just like shower in the morning? thanks!

white knight Men isolated
  • replies: 282

I'd like to hear from men. I want to know your inner feelings about anything that you feel isolated about. I'd like to know if you feel that the revolution towards equality of the sexes has gone too far to a point whereby you are feeling inferior to ... View more

I'd like to hear from men. I want to know your inner feelings about anything that you feel isolated about. I'd like to know if you feel that the revolution towards equality of the sexes has gone too far to a point whereby you are feeling inferior to women or you feel women are being treated better in any way - just because you are a man. Emotionally, are you feeling that you get enough support from females? Do you feel women are afraid to hug you to comfort you for any reason? like you'll take advantage of them? Do you have many female friends? Do you feel that women socialize better? What do YOU want socially? Feel free, talk, let go of your restraints, take advantage of the anonymous environment to let yourself be heard. We can do this and be in error, that our presumptions are ill directed and unfair. It could be our own inapproachability for example that can sway women away from us when we need them most. Are we misread? I know when I'm in conflict with someone I come across as a little aggressive or arguing in a normal male manner and that can portray someone that is not in need of support but is someone to avoid. NOTHING could be further from the truth. So that's one gripe. I feel women don't pursue the friendship care far enough. Such limited care results in my feelings of isolation. I think I'm a "giver" apart from my supportive wife no woman supports me anywhere near the level I give to them. Is this an illusion? What do you think? Two people. One a woman that enters a group, say a hobby group. She sits down and isn't feeling emotionally well. She is asked a question like "how is your day"? She burst into tears. The whole group of 10 ladies stand and hold her hand, hand on her shoulder, comforting and reassurance. She is not alone. They even ring her later and talk at length. The other person a middle aged male enters a motoring clubroom in his local town, his male friends restore cars and share drinks. He sits and realizes he was in no shape to attend. A guy asks him how his restoration is going. He is upset thinking about his car as due to his depression he hasn't been to his shed for weeks. He suddenly starts crying. The men, all of whom start to feel uncomfortable, mention a few things like" you'll get there don't worry". He is worried because he knows that half of the men there actually think he is a softy by crying, to stand clear of him because he has problems, to avoid him as it might upset their own happy day in the sun.... Tony WK