I don't understand. Need help understanding fast

[Guest_9043]

Can someone please help me? I need some reliable and easy to understand articles or you tube videos to help explain what is going on with me. I could not put my finger on it at all today. I need to know how to help myself. I guess the easiest way to put it was I was remembering things that happened to me as a child by both parents and then I would pretty much feel like her. Almost go back to that age. I was remembering things that happened to me as a teenager and feel like I was my teenager self, so again that I would pretty much feel like her at that age.

No matter how hard I tried my mothers voice and scenarios from various times in my life kept repeating in my mind and I could visually see what was happening too. Like visions I suppose. It was a damn hard day. Tonight I burst into tears more like sobbed and whimpered like a child. I was so frightened. I had to really work hard at grounding myself and coming back to my space which is completely safe.

I went into a daze most of the day, would just stare into nothingness. At times I wanted to lash out to my mum and dad.

I need to get an understanding of what is happening to me so I can help myself. I just do not know where to start in order to help myself. It is really frightening when you do not feel in control and you don't understand what is happening so you can stop it. (Please do not suggest hospital) Thanks.

2quik

[JessF]

Hello 2quik, it sounds as though you're experiencing a flood of unpleasant memories, and it's almost like they're so three-dimensional that you feel like you're being taken right back to that time and experiencing it all over again.

I can see you've been posting for a while, so forgive me if I don't get this right or say things you've heard before as I haven't seen your other posts.

If you're looking for easy to understand articles, I'm wondering if you've looked up anything about 'complex PTSD'. I'm not trying to give you a label, but there are some things associated with complex trauma that you might find resonate for you.

It's a difficult path that you're on, but learning to understand your story and what's happened to you can gradually give you back some of that control you seek, so that you can rewrite your story and make it meaningful to you, who you are today, and who you want to be in the future.

[Guest_9043]

Hi JessF,

Thank you. I actually do have a diagnosis of C-PTSD with severe depression and anxiety. I think after a full day yesterday of it all happening with no break in between I was really getting quite panicked. It has still been there today, a little less but there nonetheless. I am slowly working out what is happening. Put simply ia m responding to the severe trauma I experienced of different varieties over a very long period. I think this all started in my teens. Neither parent took me to see anyone nor ask if I was OK? They didn't care about me at all to consider I may need support and help.

I also figured I am in a state of shock and in a tremendous amount of pain. Only thing for it, is lots of rest, and find things to do to distract me from it.

Thanks for replying.

2quik.