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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Etho Confused. I'm in love with him.
  • replies: 10

Hi. Thanks for having me here. My name is Ethan. I've been married for 3 years and I have 2 children. I am 29 years old. But I have a problem. I am also into men. Until now, this has never been an issue for me. I have kept it secret. I have no reason... View more

Hi. Thanks for having me here. My name is Ethan. I've been married for 3 years and I have 2 children. I am 29 years old. But I have a problem. I am also into men. Until now, this has never been an issue for me. I have kept it secret. I have no reason to tell a single soul about it. Why would I when I have a good relationship, great kids and a great job - Life is great. I don't believe my wife needs to know this as I've never seen why this is relevant for her or to anyone else to know that I also find males attractive. (I find females as as, possibly more attractive in some ways). I have continued to live my life and enjoyed it. However, life has thrown an epic curve ball at me. I have fell in love with a friend. A male friend. He is all I ever think about. It's been like this for the past 6 months or so. Not only is he very attractive, he has an amazing personality. To make things even more confusing, I have a feeling that he is also bixsexual, based on some of the things he has said to me in the past etc. I won't go into them all here, but some were sexual (just joking around, but some were out of context and I was like....why would he even say that?) and some were just lovely things he said about me. There's other mannerisms and things as well. I have also suspected. The makes the situation a whole lot worse because I know now, that if I happened to tell him the way I feel, I fear that something could happen between us if he also feels the same way. I don't really want that? I feel like just never telling him. Just leaving it at that. Somehow get over it perhaps? But I can't. How can you just "get over" love? How?? A few weeks ago I decided that there was no point ever telling him. Since then though, it's got worse. I have serious anxiety problems. It's all I think about. If I receive a text message, I wonder if it's from him. I replay stuff in my head constantly about him. What he would say if I told him. Can I trust him NOT to tell anyone else? If he tells someone else and it gets around, my marriage is ruined. My life is ruined. I am happy with how my life is today, I don't want that to be ruined! I feel that urge to tell him. This urge is getting worse and worse to the point where I was out with him the other day and I felt like pulling him aside and just telling him. I feel as though I should just tell him how I feel. Just to "get it out there". I don't care if it's via text, I think I have to do it. But what if it turns out to be worse? Help!

Lyf_is_hard What am i?
  • replies: 3

So im really confused. I'm 15 and male and have been confused about my sexuality for around a year now. I go through periods were i will have primaraly gay thoughts but then a period where i have primaraly straight thoughts. I am not physically attra... View more

So im really confused. I'm 15 and male and have been confused about my sexuality for around a year now. I go through periods were i will have primaraly gay thoughts but then a period where i have primaraly straight thoughts. I am not physically attracted to men and never really have been. I dont naturally find them atttactive and always naturally find girls attractive. I would never consider a relationship with a guy. I definetly would be inteterested in a relationship both sexually and romantically with a girl. The issue comes with sexual attraction. Althoigh i dont find men physically appealing i have sexual thoughts about men. I have stronger sexual feelings towards girls. But this small lingering sexual desiers for men that i get occasionally is really confusing me. I need help because this is all i think about and its causing me heaps of anxiety and depreasion.

Callum_a Am I bisexual?
  • replies: 13

I sit here struggling to put words on the page. I am not comfortable with this topic at all. I’m currently seeing a psychologist and I haven’t been able to discuss anything about sexuality yet. I’ve always thought of myself as a straight male, I neve... View more

I sit here struggling to put words on the page. I am not comfortable with this topic at all. I’m currently seeing a psychologist and I haven’t been able to discuss anything about sexuality yet. I’ve always thought of myself as a straight male, I never had any thoughts about being gay when I was younger though I was shocked when people said they thought I was gay. I feel like I have to confront this. I get thoughts about men all the time. I get the same thing with women as well, I grew up attracted to girls. It’s recent that I’ve had thoughts about men. I know that I’m somewhere on the spectrum but I am absolutely terrified of taking any action. It’s like I’ve been slugged with this issue that is affecting all other areas of my life. Also, I am 21 years male.

locko42 Not ready to come out?
  • replies: 6

I recently completed year 12 and it was probably the worse day of my life. After a shitty last day feeling lonely and out of place, I had just finished school with no real friends and not fitting in. I spent the entire remainder of my day watching Ne... View more

I recently completed year 12 and it was probably the worse day of my life. After a shitty last day feeling lonely and out of place, I had just finished school with no real friends and not fitting in. I spent the entire remainder of my day watching Netflix whilst everyone else was out celebrating. Whilst feeling depressed at home my mum continuously asked me what was bothering me. I couldn't tell her, I hate opening up and talking about my feelings. Finally, I agreed and told her. She then started to cry and I knew what she was about to ask me. "Are you gay"? I said yes whilst cupping my hands in my face and crying. All that was going through my mind was, no no no this can't be happening. I was hoping this a bad dream i could wake up from, but no it was the reality. I couldn't look at her, this was the one thing I had been trying so hard to hide. She thought by asking me this would make me feel relieved but it did the opposite, only she was relieved in this situation. The problem isn't she is not accepting of me but it's the fact that I haven't accepted the fact that I am gay. She continued to say that she and dad had known for a long time but this not what I wanted to hear. My goal had been to hide it until i was ready to tell people, i have never been in a relationship, I wanted to explore that first. I am just really confused at his point and I can't move on from it. I am a consistently replaying the moment she asked me if I was gay, it terrifies me. What can i do to move on from this?

Barefoot29 So confused
  • replies: 1

Hey currently I'm so confused and its eating away at me inside I wanna try stuff with a guy but on the other side I dont I'm so scared I find it hard to make friends without asking stupid things at time because my curious side kicks in is it wrong if... View more

Hey currently I'm so confused and its eating away at me inside I wanna try stuff with a guy but on the other side I dont I'm so scared I find it hard to make friends without asking stupid things at time because my curious side kicks in is it wrong if I wanna try stuff Currently i think I suffer with depression today is a bad day where I had a friend add me and he started asking weird things so I did too make it even sorta but it turned back on me that I was the creep and this made my life so hard I'm struggling today at work I dont want to be around people because I'm scared something is gonna happen.. like being caught for something bad or everyone finding out.. my lifes so hard i have no idea what to do Please someone help with guidance

harDonna Stuck in Rut and the ladder in my stockings only gets worse
  • replies: 1

What you are about to read, if you so choose to peruse beyond the title, is a verbal vomiting of my thoughts and emotions of where I am, both mentally and physically as a person, a polaroid of my NOW… I apologise firstly for the lack of grammar and p... View more

What you are about to read, if you so choose to peruse beyond the title, is a verbal vomiting of my thoughts and emotions of where I am, both mentally and physically as a person, a polaroid of my NOW… I apologise firstly for the lack of grammar and possible waning of structure to this prose but as aforementioned this is ME, spewing out words as I attempt to release the pressure I have self-imposed upon myself, that grows and festers with compounding negative interest. Thoughts that plague the mind with every second of every day, through sleepness nights and seemingly endless days as the clock ticks, forever adding to my mental list of inactions and inability to honestly face my demons and respectfully give the people I should be caring for, my eternal love… something that has sadly diminished as I have slipped into an emotionless mindset. Unable to FEEL. Unable to GIVE. I have become a void, a blank space, black hole or unexplainable enigma within myself and even though I DO actually know the answers to my self-questioning, I find myself powerless to action such simple motions that will inevitably begin my positive resurgence and have me back in the ‘land of the living’’……born again and at the ready to take on all of life’s challenges set before me, knowing that I have the strength and resilience to conquer all. A strength, ….. more personal trait, wielded with confidence as if an ethereal weapon , that has protected me for my forty year existence thus far. ….and more importantly take off and discard all the masks that I have sported through life’s lies up until now. Masks that have had me imprisoned all this time due to socio pressures and public non-acceptance. Faking happiness with a smile and over-exaggerated positivity. Never able to be honest and true to anyone……………. particularly MYSELF. I AM DONNA. I AM PROUD and transitioning from male to female at the age of 42 years young. For the last 14 months I have lived and breathed as whom I believe to be the true me, Woman. I have left behind and mentally burnt all my previous 'male' stuff in the way of self cleansing and continually grow into ME, growing stronger ,more comfortable in my skin and confidently brush off the ogling, leering and/or disgusted mufflings from the shallow minded, all with a cheeky grin... and I feel empowered. The most positive observation I have made is that there is an amazing amount of acceptance towards me and my journey...BUT THAT DOESN'T HELP ME GET BACK MY KIDS

Cam1313 I seem to have lost my heart
  • replies: 4

Greetings, iv been depressed for many years, since 15, but in the last few years, i seemed to have gone beyond it, and have become indifferent and numb to all aspects of life, since I was young, iv always dreamed of falling in love with a nice guy, i... View more

Greetings, iv been depressed for many years, since 15, but in the last few years, i seemed to have gone beyond it, and have become indifferent and numb to all aspects of life, since I was young, iv always dreamed of falling in love with a nice guy, it needn’t of been a romantized, Disney version, but something would have been nice, as such iv never been in love, for a long time I put myself out there, going to all the usual places one would hope to find somebody, but all I found was rejection, and people who would use me sexually, then cast me aside, no intimacy at all, I ended up putting my heart in a box, and hiding it, while I allowed myself to waste away in my tower room, waiting to be rescued by someone who thought I would save me from my isolation, I realise now that it was foolish of me to expect that my prince might of come, as he never did, these days , I feel disconnected, solitary and utterly alone, miserable iv no happy memories to fall back on for strength, I once believed there was someone out there for everybody, but now I see that there are those who never find love, it’s a strange and horrible feeling being overlooked, used, lied to, forgotten, unseen, unwanted and alone, I wonder what’s the point of life if there is nothing to look forward to? except the dull drudgery of working each day, iv tried everything and nothing seems to work, perhaps I was hoping for to much?, whenever I see a happy couple, it triggers my depression to the extent I feel sick and overwealmed, iv grown cold, disenchanted, and cynical about love, though still hold out hope that someday I’ll find it, but who could possibley want to be with me now after iv become so bitter and hurt? I wonder how I can feel so broken-hearted all the time without ever being in love? On the outside, I present as rather stoic, and serious, when once I was the life of the party, but on the inside, I’m crying, and screaming in my agony, I worry how il end up if I keep feeling this way, on the occasions I feel anything at all.

Benzaiten43 Ashamed I'm straight?
  • replies: 6

I have been questioning my sexuality over the last couple of months and I happen to have a crush on a guy at the moment (I'm a girl). I can't even imagine having a serious relationship with another girl or any other gender. because of this I'm beginn... View more

I have been questioning my sexuality over the last couple of months and I happen to have a crush on a guy at the moment (I'm a girl). I can't even imagine having a serious relationship with another girl or any other gender. because of this I'm beginning to question whether I'm really pansexual or not. I think I may have just been caught up in the hype and thought subconsciously to myself that I could better fit in with my friends if I weren't straight. Maybe I was faking all along?? this was more or less a rant but if any of you could share your thoughts on what I am experiencing that would be great!

brightpanic Coming out to best friend?!?!?
  • replies: 3

I’ve never done this before so sorry if I get anything wrong, and it’s also a topic that I tend to be pretty nervous about so if I sound kind of all over the place, that’s probably why. Anyways so I’m having a sleepover with my best friend tomorrow n... View more

I’ve never done this before so sorry if I get anything wrong, and it’s also a topic that I tend to be pretty nervous about so if I sound kind of all over the place, that’s probably why. Anyways so I’m having a sleepover with my best friend tomorrow night (conveniently coming out day which I swear wasn’t planned) and I was thinking of coming out to her but I don’t really know how to go about it? Like I think she supports the LGBTQ+ community, but I’m scared I’m gonna say something and she’s going to hate me or things will be weird between us - shes straight (as far as I know) and I don’t have any feelings for her so that’s not an issue, I just dont know how to not make it weird - and how do you know what label to use as well? I feel like I’m pansexual, but should I just say bi or even just say I like people and don’t really have a preference so she understands? AND on top of that, I have anxiety (which is still being a real pain), depression (which has been getting better) and OCD tendencies so I’m really really nervous about it My parents support me, and though they might not understand it completely, then accepting me isn’t an issue. I just really need help, and coming out and even being gay in the first place has really stressed me out and made me anxious, and I feel like I’m lying to people and putting on a pretend face when I’m out with friends and it’s really really sucky (sorry not the best at expressing myself) - I feel like I need to tell my friend, but yeh, anyone have any tips?

Byzantium I'm attracted to my same sex freind
  • replies: 5

Hello, firstly thank you for taking the time to read this. Until this year i have never really considered myself anything other than straight. The fact of the matter is now i don't know that i am and in all honesty that is slightly scary. I do not se... View more

Hello, firstly thank you for taking the time to read this. Until this year i have never really considered myself anything other than straight. The fact of the matter is now i don't know that i am and in all honesty that is slightly scary. I do not see myself as homophobic or anything of that nature i just never expected myself to have such strong feeling towards someone of the same gender. In reality i think i do still feel some shame and i'm not exactly sure why that is. I have known this person for many years and are very good friends. i have only felt this way this year. I think its also important to note i'm 18 so its not the first time i have ever found myself attracted to someone. Really i am just scared because i don't want to say anything in case i do end up losing them altogether, the thought of that is horrifying. But at the same time i feel like bottling up my feelings is not doing wonders for my mental health. I really don't know what i'm expecting in any replies. I just feel stuck right now.