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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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MouseGarnet Demigirl maybe? Only dysphoria with part of my body
  • replies: 1

I am 14, almost 15, and I am biologically female. I identify as panromantic asexual, and I recently started dating a girl. For most of my life, I have identified as female. I am comfortable with having a female body, in fact I love wearing dresses an... View more

I am 14, almost 15, and I am biologically female. I identify as panromantic asexual, and I recently started dating a girl. For most of my life, I have identified as female. I am comfortable with having a female body, in fact I love wearing dresses and skirts, having long hair, giggling with my friends, I'm pretty feminine overall. However, I don't like having a vagina. I hate getting my period (I realise no one likes their period, but I promise it's different) and reading, watching or even talking about sex scenes or childbirth my lower abdomen does the same thing every time. It's like it shakes itself out in disgust. I find having a vagina unnecessary, like it's an extra spleen or something else that's equally useless. I am fine being a girl, in fact I have this really nice bodycon dress that accentuates my curves, and it makes me feel really nice. I have recently begun researching the idea of 'demigirl' but I don't even know whether what I'm feeling is actually dysphoria. Please somebody help, I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about this so the internet is my only hope.

Creutz Double life
  • replies: 52

It’s hard to know where to start. First of all, I’m a 35 year old gay man who came out to his wife about one year ago, just prior to our 6th attempt at IVF (8 years of trying). I still don’t think I’ve been able to move past that conversation, which ... View more

It’s hard to know where to start. First of all, I’m a 35 year old gay man who came out to his wife about one year ago, just prior to our 6th attempt at IVF (8 years of trying). I still don’t think I’ve been able to move past that conversation, which was fairly traumatic for my wife to say the least. Not because of my sexuality, but because she thought I was leaving her. We met at the age of 19, and have been married for 11 years, together 16. The key driver to come out to my wife was due to a beautiful man that I had met, who I had developed strong feelings for. Like most of the stories on here, I identify with having strong feelings about my wife also, as a best friend, confidant and partner. I think the reason I haven’t left (and the reason why she hasn’t) is because of the shared feeling of not being able to live without each other. The idea of divorce terrifies me as well I must admit. To add further complications, we now have a 5 week old son, who I love very dearly, especially after so many years of trying. Leaving his side even for a night makes me very anxious. So here I am... a new father who happens to be married and gay, and in love with a man and a woman (in different ways), but unable to leave either of them. What do I hope to achieve on here? Clarity and direction I suppose, some kindred spirits and a way to move forward out of this mess. Also worth noting that yes, I’ve spoken to psychologists over the years, some better than others... but all of them expensive!

Manalishi Trans, Lonely, and Scared
  • replies: 7

Hi, so I've been on this forum for a little while now, and have recently come to the realisation that I want to be a woman, what follows is a hazy recollection of the 3 or so weeks since that happened. At first I was so excited, finally I'd found out... View more

Hi, so I've been on this forum for a little while now, and have recently come to the realisation that I want to be a woman, what follows is a hazy recollection of the 3 or so weeks since that happened. At first I was so excited, finally I'd found out who I really was! But that excitement soon gave way to the rollercoaster of anxiety and depression I'm all too familiar with. For the first couple of weeks I thought I was a fake, that I just wanted to be "different" somehow to spice up my horrifically boring existence, and the terrible reality of what an enormous task I'd have to undertake began to sink in. Now I sit here at 1 in the morning, miserable, feeling that my dreams will never be achieved, a feeling that is in no way helped by my anxiety, which keeps me thinking that every day might be my last. I came out to my brother, and he was accepting and supportive, but I'm not sure how much help he can really be due to his own mental problems, and deep down I wonder if he even believes me. Coming out, it's supposed to be such a momentous, relieving event isn't it? Well, for me it holds nothing but terror. The only person in my family that I'd feel comfortable talking about this with, my Mother, passed away 3 years ago, likely believing that I hated her due to the crap way I treated her as a teenager. My Father is controlling, and has Asperger's Syndrome, which makes it very hard to get him to understand a lot of things. Add to that the fight we had at the start of the year when he threatened to throw both me and my brother out of the house over trivial things like cleaning, food etc. and you see why I'm dreading telling him about me. There is some small ray of light in here though, my grandmother has always loved and supported me through the years, and she seems like the best person to tell about this next, though I don't imagine she'll be able to offer much support, it'll be nice to let someone else know at least. I just feel so lost right now, there are no women in my life at all, I have no friends, and I'm practically a recluse, only leaving the house for groceries, exercise, and the occasional job interview or game night. I also feel an immense amount of guilt regarding my mother, and in some ways I feel that what I'm going through now is a redemption of sorts, though I often wonder if I deserve a chance. Please help, I'm barely holding it together at the moment, I need someone to hug me and tell me everything's going to be OK, but there's no one here.

red-head Trans
  • replies: 6

I'm fairly new to the forum. I thought I better share my pronouns and a bit of me so I don't get annoyed when people call me she, darling, hon, etc. Im FtM and proud of who I am. I use he /him pronouns. Ive been on hormone treatment nearly 3 months. ... View more

I'm fairly new to the forum. I thought I better share my pronouns and a bit of me so I don't get annoyed when people call me she, darling, hon, etc. Im FtM and proud of who I am. I use he /him pronouns. Ive been on hormone treatment nearly 3 months. I fought for for over 2 years to get it - they wouldn't allow it because of my mental health issues which really sucked but I have it now which is the main thing.

w193 Partner travels alone and visits gay clubs
  • replies: 2

Hey all! Hope you had a great NY. Looking for some advice and thoughts around this topic as I’ve been bottling it up and growing frustrated by it and I don’t want it to affect my relationship. My partner and I have been together for close to a year a... View more

Hey all! Hope you had a great NY. Looking for some advice and thoughts around this topic as I’ve been bottling it up and growing frustrated by it and I don’t want it to affect my relationship. My partner and I have been together for close to a year and it’s been great. We both get along very well and have a healthy lifestyle together. However he does tend to like to do solo international trips every now and then, sometimes for a few weeks, which is great for him despite it being very different to my style of travelling. What is getting to me a bit is that he tends to go quite hard overseas re partying (nothing excessive) and whilst I trust him of course, something just discomforts me a fair bit with him going to a gay club on his own to meet people and party. A lot of it is also just lack of understanding of why he wants to as I’d rarely travel alone without friends, family etc. What are your thoughts? Just not sure how to handle it as it makes me uncomfortable even though nothing has gone wrong in the past. thanks!

Emily1963 Responding to on-line negativity
  • replies: 3

I know the anguish that can be caused by people being negative on line to trans people. One of their favourite methods is to state that trans people are just mentally sick or similar. Now, I am not going to advocate that you engage with such people i... View more

I know the anguish that can be caused by people being negative on line to trans people. One of their favourite methods is to state that trans people are just mentally sick or similar. Now, I am not going to advocate that you engage with such people in an online debate. They generally know what triggers you and will use their knowledge to cause you hurt. However, I thought I would put here the response I use to reply to such people. The example is a real example from a post I made about additional laws to protect trans people from discrimination. The objective of my method is to make me feel better within myself, and hopefully cause them to reflect on their comment/ideas and choose to change. One rule though I use when using this response – I never go back to view any comments to my original response. Their Comment That’s right let's keep feeding this mental disorder, I'm sure that it'll end well for these morons. My Response Mental disorder? Really? I am well educated and I work full-time in a senior management role. Like non-trans women, as a transwoman, I have to work hard and long hours to continually prove myself as being of value to the organisation. I pay my fair share of taxes and manage my personal budget, so I can buy groceries, pay bills, pay for my HRT, and save some money. I managed to do all this in an environment where I face pervasive discrimination on a daily basis in many areas of my life, including work, health, housing, education, and socially. Metal health issues. You bet I must continuously look after my mental health. It is a well-researched and known fact that transgender people tend to experience higher rates of mental health issues than the non-trans population. Although this is well known in the general population, what is not so well known, or deliberately ignored, is what underlies the astonishingly elevated rate of mental health issues for transgender people. I’m going to assume that you are not aware of the cause and explain to you the reasons. First and foremost, it is not because we are transgender. Our mental health suffers because of the discrimination, stigma, lack of acceptance, and abuse we face on an unfortunately regular basis. Now that you know the reasons behind our poorer mental health, you have an opportunity to change. You have a choice. You can deliberately ignore the facts explained above, or you can advocate that transgender people be protected from pervasive discrimination.

tresure asexual?
  • replies: 2

hi, so i have been struggling with mental disorders for my entire life. I've always thought that there is deffenitly something wrong with me, turns out i have social anxiety disorder. First i started getting weird and anxious about sex at about 12, i... View more

hi, so i have been struggling with mental disorders for my entire life. I've always thought that there is deffenitly something wrong with me, turns out i have social anxiety disorder. First i started getting weird and anxious about sex at about 12, i was considered very pretty, and back then to me pretty girls were wanted by the guys and thats what happens that was the meaning i gave boyfriend and girlfriend, if she is pretty and the guy likes her then they are boyfriend and girlfriend. but i didn't like boys that way yet but lord knew i wanted to like them, i wanted nothing more to be like all the other girls developing crushes and wanting to kiss the boys blah blah. but because i got a lot of attention from guys i thought that thats what I had to do to keep the friends that i had and not become an outcast at school so i pretending that i likes boys and that "he was cute" "he's so hot" banter and pretended that i liked kissing. anyway i have been with many guys in my life time, and haven't enjoy not one, i can't feel pleasure. i want to, of course but i can't. again i couldn't tell anyone because of my fear or being different and i was afraid somethings wrong with me. i got strong anxiety when sex scene came on tv screens with friends, naked/procative women made me very uncomfortable i don't know why. i always wanted to have a boyfriend, when i was young me and my sister would play this game we made up called boyfriend and girlfriend, where we would pretend to have a boyfriend. so we had imaginary boyfriends.... anyway I'm 24 now and I'm still sexually active but hate it and still feel like there is something wrong with me and HELP....

Even_heroes_all Married confused and bisexual
  • replies: 2

I am a happily married man to the woman of my dreams, she is supportive but I am unsure. I have told my wife I think I am bisexual, she is very supportive and we have even had a threesome with another guy to see if it's my thing. I loved it by the wa... View more

I am a happily married man to the woman of my dreams, she is supportive but I am unsure. I have told my wife I think I am bisexual, she is very supportive and we have even had a threesome with another guy to see if it's my thing. I loved it by the way. It has been almost 12mths since our little experiment and we haven't done anything else like it since. She keeps making jokes about me being gay in front of her family and making me uncomfortable about it all as I am very private about it and she is the only one o have told ever but she goes on to the point I start hating myself for it and pull away from her, treat her differently and it starts to course agruements because of the way I feel. I have asked her to stop doing it over and over again with no change. I think about the threesome all the time and recently started really wanting a same sex encounter again. But how can I trust her to not belittle me about it when she says she is supportive and happy for me to do so. I dont want to feel trapped as I love my wife and are very attracted to her still and want my marriage to work and last forever. But how can I move forward without losing her or myself Thanks in advance

Guest_829 asexuality
  • replies: 8

Wondering if anyone out theres struggling with thoughts that they may be asexual, and would like to talk about any problems they are experiencing with it . I'm no expert and can only speak from personal experience, so if anyone is having a problem wi... View more

Wondering if anyone out theres struggling with thoughts that they may be asexual, and would like to talk about any problems they are experiencing with it . I'm no expert and can only speak from personal experience, so if anyone is having a problem with their asexuality I'll be more than glad to help you, as best I can

N1 Sex girl on girl after getting drunk
  • replies: 6

I was really drunk and ended up having sex with a girl who was also drunk. I told her in multiple ways that I was feeling really excited and want to leave the room.. But she was adamant that I should stay and she was behaving as if she was luring me ... View more

I was really drunk and ended up having sex with a girl who was also drunk. I told her in multiple ways that I was feeling really excited and want to leave the room.. But she was adamant that I should stay and she was behaving as if she was luring me in. She was saying things like she is feeling hot and would love to sleep with her clothes off. This was months back and then we never spoke to each other again. But she is now outing me saying I am a lesbian and stuff to other people around me....well...which I am not...and evwn thinking about that day makes me sick to my core....no offence to anyone...but I dont know how to get through this. I tried speaking to her, but she is behaving as if I gave her no choice.....or I am not even supposed to say her name and such.I dont know what to do...I dont want anyone listening to this story of shame.....I'd rather die.