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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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novaLilysmum Issues with mentally challenged brother and family members
  • replies: 5

Hi. My mentally challenged(schizophrenics) brother is about to move into lower level care. I am concerned because he has hygiene and safety issues and he is basically living unsupervised. The hygiene dose not concern me but the safety issue dose. Thi... View more

Hi. My mentally challenged(schizophrenics) brother is about to move into lower level care. I am concerned because he has hygiene and safety issues and he is basically living unsupervised. The hygiene dose not concern me but the safety issue dose. This is a 49 year old man who thinks it’s perfectly fine and SAFE the smoke in bed ……… and then he falls asleep with still light smoke in his hand. One of his previous accomodations threw him out because the fire brigade was called at midnight to put out the fire in his room. My oldest brother(53) said he is just “playing” that he knows better and is just doing it cause he knows I will run to his aid. My mother (72) is saying the same thing. Are they correct? Am I just being over protective? Should I step back and “make him grow up”? Sometimes he dose stupid things -that he knows he shouldn’t (his words).. and yet he dose them anyway- why? is it because he knows I will run to his aid? When he gets in trouble for his stupid action he says it’s not him- the schizophrenic made him do it….. yet mum has schizophrenia and she would never do something so stupid. I have recently come off anxiety medication due to heart issues and I really don’t want to go back onto them because my brother is just being stupid…….once he moves into the new accommodation I worry my will my anxiety increase?

Pippa_thebold Scared to tell parents about relationship
  • replies: 3

22f dating 25m Back story, 3 years ago dated this person my parents FORBADE me from dating them threaten (22m at the time) with violence etc. The reason they FORBADE us from dating was because he used to take drugs at festivals. Since then I have dat... View more

22f dating 25m Back story, 3 years ago dated this person my parents FORBADE me from dating them threaten (22m at the time) with violence etc. The reason they FORBADE us from dating was because he used to take drugs at festivals. Since then I have dated someone else lived with them since splitting I have moved back home with mum and dad. Context I'm a uni student who also works full time and does pay them rent. I ran into 25m again back in Feb and we have fallen back in love all over again. I want to be with this person for many reasons but I will run out of space. However, I have such intense and crippling anxiety about telling my parents. I am so scared that they are gonna react violently or kick me out. I love my parents but they do not take it lightly when their kids do something they don't like. I do see my partner as much as I can but my parents are always on my grill about where I am and how long I'm there etc. I love my partner and want to be with him all the time. I just don't know how to go about telling them, I am so scared of the fall out from that but I know I need to tell them. I guess I'm just looking for some advice?

perth_16 Partner wants to move interstate closer to family
  • replies: 4

My boyfriend (33) wants to move interstate to be closer to his parents. We’ve been together for 2.5 years. We had a bit of a rocky start but the past year has been amazing. We have lived together for 8 months, we speak about marriage and kids, and ha... View more

My boyfriend (33) wants to move interstate to be closer to his parents. We’ve been together for 2.5 years. We had a bit of a rocky start but the past year has been amazing. We have lived together for 8 months, we speak about marriage and kids, and have a rough time line for it all. He has been living here for the last 3 years however is originally from far interstate. He is very close to his parents and misses them a lot. We just spent Christmas with his family interstate and he was very upset leaving them at the airport to come home. Since we’ve been together my fear has been he will want to move back one day. It’s something I ask often for reassurance. I knew something was up with how upset he was on the plane ride home. I eventually got it out of him that he is considering move back. He wants me to come with him. I’ve told him before I won’t ever want to move there. I have a secure job, all my family is here and I feel I will need that when I do have kids (his argument is he wants his parents around too for kids). In addition to that, financially we will always be better off here. His parents are older (70) and he says he wants to be with them in their older age in case something happens. He is confused and hurting because he loves me. He says he hasn’t made a decision yet and needs time to think about it. He said he will go to a therapist about it. He doesn’t want to talk about it though at the moment. He feels he has to make a choice between me and his family. I feel like if he really did see me as his life partner, he wouldn’t leave, the only benefit of moving interstate is being closer to his family. We are currently still being a normal couple, happy as every but I can’t stop thinking about this, I feel empty knowing that everything we currently have could be over if/when he does make the call to move. This could be soon or in months, or years. I need advice, other peoples point of view on the situation, just anything. I can’t stop thinking about it. thank you

bubblegirl2121 Alone and upset
  • replies: 3

A big incident recently happened between my partner and i we no longer live together i feel very alone and isolated I feel like i have no one to turn to anymore he barely comes and see’s me and he barely ever talks to me now its like he just doesn’t ... View more

A big incident recently happened between my partner and i we no longer live together i feel very alone and isolated I feel like i have no one to turn to anymore he barely comes and see’s me and he barely ever talks to me now its like he just doesn’t love me anymore

Winston666 Looking for help with depression and anger issues
  • replies: 14

These days i seem to have zero tolerance for any drama and tend to anger quickly, which escalates quickly. it is getting to a point that it is affecting my marriage. i am by no means a physically violent person but can say some pretty hurtful things ... View more

These days i seem to have zero tolerance for any drama and tend to anger quickly, which escalates quickly. it is getting to a point that it is affecting my marriage. i am by no means a physically violent person but can say some pretty hurtful things when i feel i am defending myself. Any direction or advice would be greatly appreciated, i have never used this kind of forum to reach out but need help. Thanks.

Vmv Isolated and alone
  • replies: 7

I feel like I have nowhere to turn. I’m recently married and it’s has been really tough. During disagreements, he terrorises me, intimidates me, takes my phone, keys and money and sometimes locks me in the house. He controls who I see and talk to. Wh... View more

I feel like I have nowhere to turn. I’m recently married and it’s has been really tough. During disagreements, he terrorises me, intimidates me, takes my phone, keys and money and sometimes locks me in the house. He controls who I see and talk to. When things are good, he’s beyond amazing.I’m 12 weeks pregnant and we have a mortgage together. I feel trapped and confused. I don’t know if I’m the problem.

Katerina03 Struggling with regret after having a conversation
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm a 25yr old woman. Recently I have been struggling a lot with regret after having conversations with people. Growing up I used to be an extrovert young girls and didn't think much about the conversations I was having. I just said anything and ... View more

Hi, I'm a 25yr old woman. Recently I have been struggling a lot with regret after having conversations with people. Growing up I used to be an extrovert young girls and didn't think much about the conversations I was having. I just said anything and everything that I wanted to talk about. Fast forward in my 20s I started to notice people were careful around me and didn't want to say much in fear I would share their secrets or their conversations.It made me go back into my shell and reflected back to all the years and my being over talkative. Right now I question everything I say, my self esteem is low. I am very watchful of people's body languages when I speak to them, I pay attention to their tone when they respond to me and it makes me scared to talk. I want this feeling to go away because it's eating me up inside. I don't want to be talkative anymore but just how can I get rid of the regret?

Lisajuniper_1 Cheating
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am 36 and married with children. a few months ago I went out and watched a band play. I instantly thought the singer was hot and I found out his name and started messaging him. We messaged for 3 months and he made promises that we would meet up... View more

Hi, I am 36 and married with children. a few months ago I went out and watched a band play. I instantly thought the singer was hot and I found out his name and started messaging him. We messaged for 3 months and he made promises that we would meet up but then it was all about him being busy and it’s gigs. On the weekend I went to watch him play again and he caught up for a short while afterwards and kissed. Since this all started I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. I hardly know him and I stalk him on social media all the time. He doesn’t ask me anything about me so I’m assuming I’m more into him. He said we will catch up again but deep down I know it’s just going to drag out and I will have to make the effort for it to happen. the thought of it not happening again is making me feel crazy. I literally feel crazy. I can’t eat, sleep and I’m crying all the time. I can’t concentrate at work and I’m scared to be alone. please tell me how I can stop feeling like this. I love my husband. My husband cheated on me about 3 years ago so maybe that’s why I’m doing it. I don’t feel that attracted to my husband.

unkown87 Affair
  • replies: 1

When should you say enough is enough in an affair? seeing him for about 2yrs, we both are married and are not happy in our current marriages. WE both have fallen in love and can see a future together. The issues are we both are not ready to leave our... View more

When should you say enough is enough in an affair? seeing him for about 2yrs, we both are married and are not happy in our current marriages. WE both have fallen in love and can see a future together. The issues are we both are not ready to leave our marriages yet, he cant give me sex but can give me anything else, he shuts down when things get to overwhelming for him. I also feel he takes what we have for granted, He says if we were together things would be so much better between us but untill that comes i feel its more hard then good. Any advise.