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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Quiettall Redefining your relationship in retirement or when one returns from long absence due to work
  • replies: 5

Hello I have been pondering recently about how one redefines a relationship with your partner after returning from a posting away from the household. As an example, I have had 2 long (3 month each) postings overseas working in different cultures to w... View more

Hello I have been pondering recently about how one redefines a relationship with your partner after returning from a posting away from the household. As an example, I have had 2 long (3 month each) postings overseas working in different cultures to where I live back here in Australia. I have returned to find a real confusion or sense of disillusionment about how Australians put so much value on their possessions over their relationships and more meaningful issues in life. I find it hard to sit and participate, let alone listen to the mundane conversations that go on between friends or family members, who have not experienced working and living in poor conditions. It is a real adjustment and for me, has shone some interesting lights on what are important in my life, and how I want to re-examine those issues with my partner, although she is more than happy to just cruise along, oblivious to the wider world. Although I missed home andwas glad to be back, I sometimes find myself thinking I now am in a mind space which is more comfortable with less, and being able to dfo more meaningful things in less fortunate community situations. I would be really interested in other peoples' views, who may have experienced similar things.

PattyGM Discover infidelity 9 years ago but still feel depressed
  • replies: 2

Hi, I decided to tell my story because for 9 years I have been suffering alone and it is getting worst. After 3 years of marriage I got pregnant right when we were about to go to study abroad. We both had been awarded scholarships to go to Spain, so ... View more

Hi, I decided to tell my story because for 9 years I have been suffering alone and it is getting worst. After 3 years of marriage I got pregnant right when we were about to go to study abroad. We both had been awarded scholarships to go to Spain, so we decided to go and have the baby there. I left first as I had an interview to present and he was supposed to join me in Spain two weeks after. The night right after my interview I had a horrible dream and when I woke up I decided to check his email, something that I never did because I trusted him 100%. To my surprise I found three horrible emails where he was saying goodbye to this other woman in the most romantic way, she did the same and basically they were thanking each other for the wonderful time they had had together. I almost die of sadness, being 10 weeks pregnant I only wanted to stop that pregnancy but I did not do it. He came to Spain and somehow convinced me that it was nothing, that there was not sex involved, that he "lost his mind" and that that relation only lasted one month. I forgave him but still felt that what he told me was not the truth. I got the phone number of this woman and asked directly if she had had sex with my husband to what she said yes. I faced him again with the new information and he accepted it. Since then we are still together (9 years have passed), we had another baby, but I have regular periods of depression, I feel that not all the truth was said, that he is lying to me on everything he says. I became the most obsessive person checking his email every single day, his mobile, his wallet....this is going to sound weird but somehow I have the hope of finding something else. Perhaps I am looking for a excuse to convince myself I do not want to be with him anymore. The maximum I have found along these years is porn pictures or videos, which has stolen my self-esteem completely. I have lost the desire to live, I continue with my life because two children are a huge responsibility and I continue working hard and doing the best I can only for them. However, almost every night I pray it is the last nigh of my life, I just want to disappear. We look like a normal family, but I just feel totally empty. I fear so much being without him, but I fear even more that he will cheat on me again. I do not want to tear this family apart because I do not want my children to suffer. I am losing control of my own mind, just too depressed. I need help...

anonymous175 30 Day Contact Challenge
  • replies: 8

I have decided to do a 30 Day Contact Challage. I realised I have spent my entire life contacting family and friends. Organising events etc... I am tried of this and no one seems to reciprocate. Thus I decided not to contact anyone for 30 days in the... View more

I have decided to do a 30 Day Contact Challage. I realised I have spent my entire life contacting family and friends. Organising events etc... I am tried of this and no one seems to reciprocate. Thus I decided not to contact anyone for 30 days in the hope that I could determine who in fact wants to talk/spend time with me. I am in week two of this challenge and no one has contacted me. I feel sad and deverstated. Has anyone done/been through a similar experience? How did you deal with it at the time? What did you do post the challenge/experience? Help

anonymous175 Facebook & 'Friends'
  • replies: 6

I really struggle with Facebook. I have several 'Friends' that are toxic and/or I don't want contact with anymore. The issue with this is I live in a small country town therefore it's hard to do something about it. I have already 'Unfollowed' these p... View more

I really struggle with Facebook. I have several 'Friends' that are toxic and/or I don't want contact with anymore. The issue with this is I live in a small country town therefore it's hard to do something about it. I have already 'Unfollowed' these people, but feel it's time to cut ties for good. Do anyone have any suggestions regarding my dilemma?

Doolhof Crying tears on the inside
  • replies: 51

Yesterday was the 23rd anniversary of our son's premature birth and early death. I feel like I have no one here to share those thoughts and emotions with in person. That makes me feel so very much alone and very sad. I've been crying rivers of tears ... View more

Yesterday was the 23rd anniversary of our son's premature birth and early death. I feel like I have no one here to share those thoughts and emotions with in person. That makes me feel so very much alone and very sad. I've been crying rivers of tears on the inside. I keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep plodding along through the day. I'd love for this pain to leave me alone. At times it feels so consuming, like it will swallow me up. But I keep going on. One painful step at a time. I never knew that love and grief could hurt so much. My dearest son, at least you are there with your siblings, where ever "There" may be. I will always love you all with all my heart. Huge hugs and never ending love, from your Mum xxx

Jodee49 NEWBIE - Relationship issues
  • replies: 1

Hi I'm new to BB but have battled with depression for many years but in the last two years when my husband was terminally diagnosed with a rare cancer, I had to increase my medication x4 to cope and have struggled ever since. The hard part for me is ... View more

Hi I'm new to BB but have battled with depression for many years but in the last two years when my husband was terminally diagnosed with a rare cancer, I had to increase my medication x4 to cope and have struggled ever since. The hard part for me is that he is considered to be 'stable' at the moment and appears well from the outside- he goes to work everyday, however he drinks heavily when not at work. My dilemma is that I'm trying to get myself better and feel he is dragging me back every time I get two steps forward. Don't get me wrong he is not violent or abusive when he is drunk he just doesn't have a stop button and falls asleep and becomes unsteady on his feet (he has had many many falls). To compound this I have had a few major meltdowns in front of people who I thought were my friends in the last couple of years and have managed to alienate myself from them so I feel quite lonely most of the time. I do have other friends but not a lot and I see them occasionally. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place so to speak. I love him and don't want to leave however staying where I am is destroying me slowly and painfully.

novemberhaze Feel/ have like I have lost everyone
  • replies: 4

I have never posted before, I am new to BB. I feel like I need to tell someone, however I feel like I have no one to tell - nor to be there for me. I got really sick a few years ago, after a long battle with acute anxiety (for as long as I can rememb... View more

I have never posted before, I am new to BB. I feel like I need to tell someone, however I feel like I have no one to tell - nor to be there for me. I got really sick a few years ago, after a long battle with acute anxiety (for as long as I can remember). I learnt the hard way that people don't really like sick people - unless they get better quickly - OR if you have great friends who will be there for you, which I found out I didn't. Now, after a few years I am at a point where I do not have anyone. The girls who were my closest friends in my group (which is rather big) won't talk to me. I wish I could see myself from another persons perspective because I don't believe myself as a bad friend or person but I have managed to exile myself by some actions. This seems to have brought them closer, I feel so, so alone. I never talk about friend problems, because it makes me feel like a loser but I am really lonely. I don't know where or how to start over again. I've done all I can to try and fix things but it have fallen on deaf ears and seems I guess I have to move on. Has anyone been in the position where you have a big group, who will still talk to you but your closer friends incorporated in the group make it hard to hang out with everyone? How do I start over? How does someone make friends after school? Especially since I've been with these girls nearly 10 years.

ricmorr my behavior towards my family when i get home is aggressive
  • replies: 3

I am 59 and just started wfd I have no problems doing the work but have found my behavior towards my family when i get home is aggressive and argumentive what do people suggest i do to cope

I am 59 and just started wfd I have no problems doing the work but have found my behavior towards my family when i get home is aggressive and argumentive what do people suggest i do to cope

IJustWantToHelp Just Want To Understand
  • replies: 3

Hi there, I am new to site I have been together with my girlfriend for just over 3 months now and while I cannot say if she has been diagnosed but is clearly suffering from something mentally. There are days are her moods are completely fine but ther... View more

Hi there, I am new to site I have been together with my girlfriend for just over 3 months now and while I cannot say if she has been diagnosed but is clearly suffering from something mentally. There are days are her moods are completely fine but there are other days where she is in the worst mood for the whole day or even 2 days. While the relationship has been going very strong and off to a great start, these moods tend to make her feel the worst about herself and she tends to push everyone away from her and isolate herself or she feels that everyone is avoiding her. She continues to say that she needs supports but what support can I actually give her when I don't know how to actually support her. She gets very stressed easily and always on the verge of crying at some points. When we talk I tend to avoid those subjects that can bring her mood to that. She has even mentioned that she hates feeling like this all the time. Like I just don't know what to do. I have tried talking to her about her problems but won't really tell what she really feels and she won't tell me the completely everything. I have also tried talking her into going to see a professional to actually give her some help but she is very against doing that. I feel like that I am the only that could support her and even listen to her in these situations because she does not get any help from her family or friends. But tonight, what happened was different than before, she had started to question why I want her around and that she is a burden on me and sometimes she misses doing stuff on her own because that is what she is used to. After hearing that it made me scared and worried and emotional that she might end the relationship ever soon and I really don't want it to end because I love her and this has been the best relationship I have been in even though it has been just over 3 months. She is special to me. I just want to know what to do and what I shouldn't do. I am very confused and scared

Bob_Norton Rebuilding and regrouping in light of the seperation I never wanted
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, It's my first time posting here and, in retrospect, I feel I should have posted here months ago. My wife and I have been separated for a few months. At first, I was absolutely devastated and felt I was surrounded in darkness. I had never... View more

Hi everyone, It's my first time posting here and, in retrospect, I feel I should have posted here months ago. My wife and I have been separated for a few months. At first, I was absolutely devastated and felt I was surrounded in darkness. I had never cried so much in all my years in existing. We started a trial of 'living apart together' which, in a few weeks turned into a separation. I feel so ashamed that my marriage has fallen apart; humiliated and embarrassed. I married my wife because I wanted to share my life with her and our families. That is another thing; I love members of her family so dearly, and I feel like a bus load of people have suddenly died. I really hate my wife for this. My wife and I are now at a stage where we are not talking at all until later in the year. (My suggestion, then I didn't want to do this, but she still does) and doesn't respond to any of my desperate messages or calls. I have tried online dating because I feel if I don't keep occupied I will get really depressed and regretful. Online dating stresses me as a lot of profiles on some sites I've been to appear to be obviously fake. Does anyone have a suggestion on an affordable, good dating website? Thank you for listening today. Bob