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Community Champion
Community Champion


Hoping to get tips with this from anyone who suffers from the same thing.

So one of my things is I get unhealthily obsessed with people. I am not exaggerating when I say I will want to marry someone within minutes of chatting to them if I find something I like about them, no matter how small. And because it's obviously not reciprocated, I freak out when I start feeling like they don't like me as much, which happens to be all the time (again, for obvious reasons - we've only been talking for 10 minutes). Thankfully I have enough self control -not- to actually stalk them in person and tell them everything, but the urge is very much there.

I've raised this previously with my psych, and she wanted me to observe my own behaviour while dating. There was one girl with whom I thought I was actually controlling it pretty well. But then with this new person, she basically pointed it out to me and I hadn't even recognised just how much I'd become obsessed already. So that was a bit annoying.

So yeah, I'd love to hear from people who do the same and what you do to control it 🙂 Doing my usual hobbies including exercise doesn't seem to work because it doesn't take my mind off enough. And yes, I do dream about them too which makes it even more confusing because I start confusing reality and dream.


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Community Member

Hi James,

I find that I am very similar in that if I like someone I can't help but picture the future and get way too ahead of myself... then end up very upset when nothing works out the way I hoped. It is much easier said than done, but if possible, try to just enjoy the moment, and keep your thoughts centered around what is happening now... If I ever find a way to master this skill myself I will be sure to let you know... I still find it very difficult as my mind basically explores every possible option. Then I get anxiety about the bad options even though they may not even happen, and depressed when the good options fade away.

Good luck xo