Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

CherryOnTop I've become a crutch
  • replies: 1

My family is a mess. My estranged sibling (we're both middle aged) has all sorts of issues and my parents can't agree on how to handle it. He's not very nice and my mum sees that but my dad doesn't It's ruined their marriage but, because of their age... View more

My family is a mess. My estranged sibling (we're both middle aged) has all sorts of issues and my parents can't agree on how to handle it. He's not very nice and my mum sees that but my dad doesn't It's ruined their marriage but, because of their age and financial arrangements, they won't separate. My dad really bullies my mum and says nasty things to her and spends their retirement savings without asking her. He also shows little concern for her wellbeing. She has medical issues and he doesn't seem to care and when she says the stress makes it worse it has no effect on him. My mum and I get on well and have a lot of hobbies in common. I have tried to be supportive, although I am emotionally involved and sometimes I have to take a step back for my own sake. However, lately I feel like I am being used as a crutch. My mum wants to spend so so so much time with me doing specified activities and it's stifling. And if I say no, even if she only gave me short notice, then she brings out the emotional blackmail about how it will be one of the only things that makes her happy relentlessly until I give in or she gets super angry at me. If I ignore her then she just bombards me with calls and e-mails. Also "I'm stressed" or "I'm busy" or "I want to relax" are not valid excuses. Only a confirmed pre-existing appointment will do. She also keeps on buying things or do favours for me that I can do myself. I say yes because it makes her feel useful and hey, if I can cut down on some expenses in this current time then fine. But then she uses it to guilt me into doing things. I love her and I enjoy doing activities with her and I do feel sorry for her. But I also have my own stressors and commitments and I don't want to be used as a comfort blanket. But then I feel guilty when I say no. Advice?

SarBear_JT Ex best friend
  • replies: 4

Hey all I need some advice I have this ex best friend of 11yrs whom I haven’t spoken to in a year or two as I spent a lot of time helping her and I found out she slept with my boyfriend. She’s now trying to come back into my life asking for help and ... View more

Hey all I need some advice I have this ex best friend of 11yrs whom I haven’t spoken to in a year or two as I spent a lot of time helping her and I found out she slept with my boyfriend. She’s now trying to come back into my life asking for help and I’m not sure if I give her another chance or not as everytime I do she always shows me why I shouldn’t. I really wanna help her but is she taking advantage of my kindness? Do I help her or do I say enough is enough till she starts helping herself ?

Snowman02 No one knows about my mental health issues.
  • replies: 6

I've been seeing therapists over the course of 7+ years, I've been diagnosed with depression and Body dysmorphic disorder amongst other issues, and I've been on medication for over a year. Thing is my wife and son know nothing of this. I'm not sure w... View more

I've been seeing therapists over the course of 7+ years, I've been diagnosed with depression and Body dysmorphic disorder amongst other issues, and I've been on medication for over a year. Thing is my wife and son know nothing of this. I'm not sure why I've never told them about this, maybe for fear of looking weak. Obviously I do a very good job of hiding it well. To be honest, I wouldn't know where to start with telling them. The therapists have often said I need to tell my wife, as some of my issues are marriage related. Thing is my wife has little empathy when it comes to mental health, and has a dim view of therapy. Has anyone else been in a similar situation, and did you manage to come clean. If so, how?

J_xlx making family proud
  • replies: 6

i constantly look for my dads approval make my dad proud my test scores are never good enough im not good enough at sports the only time my dad was ever proud of me unconditionally was when i made a state team

i constantly look for my dads approval make my dad proud my test scores are never good enough im not good enough at sports the only time my dad was ever proud of me unconditionally was when i made a state team

gazbuild 12yr marriage struggles
  • replies: 3

Hi all, not sure where to start with this as I’ve never asked anyone for help. I have two boys 9 & 6, my wife and I seem to be struggling to connect and find time for each other. It turned into an argument where we described our feelings. She is curr... View more

Hi all, not sure where to start with this as I’ve never asked anyone for help. I have two boys 9 & 6, my wife and I seem to be struggling to connect and find time for each other. It turned into an argument where we described our feelings. She is currently working part time and studying, I work full time and being enough coin that we are comfortable. The reason for this info is she can’t say no to additional days at work and I feel it is coming between us as the daytime activities get pushed into the nights and as such the time disappears. Her response is that i have been working to much. Being self employed this is a hard thing to judge as I just want to provide for my family. I know I have anger issues when I’m hungry and have a short temper T these times also. It would seem I keep stepping in it and I feel things are getting worse. Not sure how to better explain this but I feel like I need something as I am more and more feeling, what’s the point, under appreciated, overwhelmed and more and more like I’m just a bad egg. Help

nathan_sch How can I start to heal
  • replies: 3

Recently I feel like I have changed as a person. This person is not who I want to be. Depressed, no energy, in a constant state of anxiety??….I have never dealt with this my whole life and all of a sudden I feel like I have been thrown in the deep en... View more

Recently I feel like I have changed as a person. This person is not who I want to be. Depressed, no energy, in a constant state of anxiety??….I have never dealt with this my whole life and all of a sudden I feel like I have been thrown in the deep end. Where do I start ??

Hstar Jealousy taking control of my fiancé to the point of me becoming suspicios
  • replies: 4

I have been with my fiancé for almost 5 years and I have lately been overwhelmed with jealousy and controlling behaviour to the point that I’m stopping myself going out with friends so he will do the same . I don’t like him going to work events incas... View more

I have been with my fiancé for almost 5 years and I have lately been overwhelmed with jealousy and controlling behaviour to the point that I’m stopping myself going out with friends so he will do the same . I don’t like him going to work events incase someone he becomes more interested in . and I’m becoming super stressed angry and jealous about so many things . I feel I need help as our relationship is almost at breaking point and I can’t afford a psychologist . I need strategies to get me out of my own head space . I go to the gym regularly and I work a lot but when I’m alone and I hear of things he would like to do I am extremely jealous.

Wookie123 Relationship over - 10 years
  • replies: 11

Hi all, after 10 years together, my partner ended our relationship 2 weeks ago. At first it didn’t seem real, but today we chatted and she said doesn’t want to come back. Her reason is she’s just unhappy and not sure what she wants.I’m genuinely stru... View more

Hi all, after 10 years together, my partner ended our relationship 2 weeks ago. At first it didn’t seem real, but today we chatted and she said doesn’t want to come back. Her reason is she’s just unhappy and not sure what she wants.I’m genuinely struggling, I just don’t know what to do. I’m 43, no kids and now feels like I have nothing to show for my life. mornings, and especially nights have been hard. Eating dinner, that basically doesn’t happen as I can’t think of a time in 10 years we haven’t sat down together. I just sit and cry.I don’t have a big circle of friends, my family support is not the best. Work colleagues have been good, but with all this is still feel very lonely. So very lonely.what I can’t understand is that if she doesn’t know what she wants, why do I have to be the sacrificial one? Why me? It just hurts so much

teaBee Alone
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend just went out with his friends tonight and I’m here alone. My best friend never invites me to things anymore. And every time I try and reach out she’s busy. Where did all my friends go. I’m so tired and anxious these day I don’t know how... View more

My boyfriend just went out with his friends tonight and I’m here alone. My best friend never invites me to things anymore. And every time I try and reach out she’s busy. Where did all my friends go. I’m so tired and anxious these day I don’t know how to make new friends. And all my friends from high school have moved far away. I want to go out and have a girls night and laugh and have fun. But with who.