Need advice

[Nick]

Hi my wife and I recently decided to take a break

maim reasons are I’m not very emotionally involved with her or the kids I am very unstable in my jobs I can’t communicate openly and just a very distant person while around my family 

I have moved out and doing it quite tough at the moment 

can anyone give advice on what I should be doing to get my family back

[smallwolf]

Hello and Welcome.

Firstly, I cannot give you advice, but can perhaps make a suggestion...

Secondly, t really sounds like you're going through such a tough time. At the same time, it's good that you're reaching out.

Have you considered talking to a therapist could give you some tools to work through these feelings and improve how you connect with your family. They might help also in understanding why you're feeling distant and having trouble communicating.

I think that if you’re willing to make changes and being open with them could help you rebuild those connections.

[tranzcrybe]

You may have forgotten what romance is, or taken your family for granted (or even feeling confined or resentful for whatever you might perceive as being better), or perhaps the value of family has become a contrivance against you where you are feeling trapped. The question to ask is 'What are you without them?'

Swallow your pride and speak from the heart. The love you give is directly proportional to the love you are willing to receive by entrusting your vulnerabilities and fears to your family.
Even your kids can come out with some surprising comments at times to show they care if you just let yourself be who you are around them.

You might even discover that job stability is inextricably linked to having cohesion in your family life. Let them be there for you and see what transpires as a unified family sharing in all things without reservation.

[KindnessIsFree]

Hi Nick. I can relate to things from your spouse's point of view as I have a similar marital situation.  It can be very discouraging when your spouse is emotionally unavailable.  It makes your spouse lose hope that things can ever change in a positive way. But if you continue to do what you've always done you'll continue to get what you've always gotten. I know how difficult personally it is to open up and be raw and vulnerable to those around you. It takes great courage to take that step. I know I have found it really hard but I've also been surprised by how supportive people are in return.  So I think the single most important thing to do is to take that step. There is great strength in vulnerability.