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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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GreenEgg Feeling lonely and like I’ll never have a proper connection with someone
  • replies: 3

Hi I’m feeling sad but a bit resigned too, not too sad. Like I knew this would be the case all along and it’s happening. I’ve always struggled to make friends, and with the friends I do have I feel like a boring burden. Like I know they have chats an... View more

Hi I’m feeling sad but a bit resigned too, not too sad. Like I knew this would be the case all along and it’s happening. I’ve always struggled to make friends, and with the friends I do have I feel like a boring burden. Like I know they have chats and things without me. Anyway, I guess I feel like there’s nothing to like about me and more that I’m just not capable of connecting with people. It’s not just friendships, I’ve never had a relationship and even though I have a large family I rarely talk to them. I’m not connected to my nieces. I just realised today too that I’m in perimenopause and likely to go into menopause extremely early. I’ve suspected it for a while but drs didn’t take me seriously because of my age. So I ordered my own tests and they show it’s the case plus some autoimmune conditions. I feel a bit upset about it. anyway, does anyone else struggle to make connections? Even when it seems like you’ve got people around you? How do you work on it?

atreljjj Should I leave with 3 kids
  • replies: 3

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years next month, we have 2 children together I had 1 child before we met, whom he adores and tells everyone he knows that she is his, which is one of the reasons I married him, he is very much a materi... View more

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years next month, we have 2 children together I had 1 child before we met, whom he adores and tells everyone he knows that she is his, which is one of the reasons I married him, he is very much a materialist, and I am careless, and very forgetful I have to keep replaying my drivers license because I swear it has legs, long story short, he buys the kids clothes and god forbid if I loose it at daycare he’s furious, I have lost gold he has given me, I have lost car keys many times, thankfully he always keep the spare, I have lost a brand new blanket, I have lost money that was literally in my hand, I have even lost my wedding band, all these things I have lost, I’m wreckless and careless, I can admit that I take full responsibility, but the thing is, all these things can be replaced, more money can easily be made, but his reaction and what he’s says when I loose things is driving me to negative thoughts. He tells me I’m useless, I’m worthless, I’m a bad mother, I don’t deserve a single tear at my funeral, he can do soo much better on his own, I’m not needed in this house, I’m not even wanted in this house and many more, I work soo hard I have a full time which may I add is quite physical I work mon-Friday 8-5 but I get up early and get all 3 kids ready as they are all under 5, I get them to daycare, I go to my job, I pick them up, I feed them all, shower them all, try to shower myself but it’s never peaceful, I do all the laundry, I cook our dinner, and I repeat, the weekends I get up for the kids make their breakfast change them drive us to do whatever unload all the kids unload our shopping put it all away and still it is not good enough, he always has something to complain about, weather it’s the kids but it’s mostly me, he constantly brings me down, tells me daily look how beautiful this lady is (someone on tv) I heard it maybe 3 times since we’ve been together, he tells me he can make it better than me when I’ve cooked dinner, he tells me he cleans it better, which he does because I take the kids so he can clean, but when I clean I have to hold the kids as well, here’s the kicker, when I had our first kid not even an hour old while I’m still in a pool of my own bl**d he asks if he can go home, seriously, then our second kids I had to beg him to pick us up from the hospital I wasn’t worth the 30mins travel after giving birth to his child, that should have been my que to leave, I knew then I wasn’t truly worth it, but because of them I fought everyday to make it work, now I’m just depressed every day, he doesn’t listen to what I have to say and i drive for a living and I recently scared myself, but I’m still here to fight another day, any advice on what to do? I feel I need professional help

Lorenth210 Partner has gambling addiction
  • replies: 17

Hi there, it's my first post. I suspect that my partner has a sport betting/gambling addiction. He's taking loans behind my back and has multiple apps that let you make sport bets. I don't know what to do, when I confronted him he keeps denying every... View more

Hi there, it's my first post. I suspect that my partner has a sport betting/gambling addiction. He's taking loans behind my back and has multiple apps that let you make sport bets. I don't know what to do, when I confronted him he keeps denying everything. Am I making this up? I saw what I saw. Do I leave? Do I help him? I am so lost and lonely.

Gossamerose What now?
  • replies: 11

I've had to deal with a lot in my marriage and now I feel like it's all to much! I'm a quiet introvert and I avoid confrontation at any cost and I'm not sure if I'm thinking straight. My hubby went to work wearing design underware and came home weari... View more

I've had to deal with a lot in my marriage and now I feel like it's all to much! I'm a quiet introvert and I avoid confrontation at any cost and I'm not sure if I'm thinking straight. My hubby went to work wearing design underware and came home wearing a different pair. Then hid the design pair in the kids bathroom. I noticed he took the spare pair with him that morning and thought it strange so I paid attention when he arrived home that evening. Yes I did ask him and he said (Quote: II could have changed because of diarrhoea or something. Then proceeded to tell me I was imagining things.I don't trust him any more, what do others think?

Sar667 Much needed advice amd help
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm after some help and advice. My partner and I have been together for 5 years. Unfortunately last year for 3 months we had broken up. During this time my partner had started seeing someone else.. Then we decided to work things out, but my partn... View more

Hi, I'm after some help and advice. My partner and I have been together for 5 years. Unfortunately last year for 3 months we had broken up. During this time my partner had started seeing someone else.. Then we decided to work things out, but my partner had a change of heart and was confused wanted us both. I was unable to handle that situation.. So my partner continued to see her leaving me heart broken. Then only 8 weeks after she decided she couldn't be without me. And we got back together. But she still want to continue to be friends with the other person. And I'm not coping at all with this. I've told her how I feel. But she thinks I need to get past it. As she loves me and only wants me. Amd sees the other person just as a friend. Unfortunately I do not see her the same way. And I don't know if im being ridiculous and just need to move on. Or if my feelings are valid???

Carus I Feel Absolutely Terrible*
  • replies: 23

Thankyou for creating this place for us to write stuff out*I've been with my wife for 4 years. No kids together but she has a young daughter. My wife lives and works an hour away so we only see each other on the weekends, but we video chat every nigh... View more

Thankyou for creating this place for us to write stuff out*I've been with my wife for 4 years. No kids together but she has a young daughter. My wife lives and works an hour away so we only see each other on the weekends, but we video chat every night. This suits me as I really value time alone. About 8 months ago I hired a girl to work for me. In that time, unfortunately we have grown very close. To the point where I deeply feel we are more compatible and should be together. The problem obviously is, I'm already married. We have not been intimate and I don't want to go down that avenue* The greater problems are, I'm not unhappily married and my wife is fantastic and prides herself on being the best wife she can be. I don't take that for granted. I admire her and am very proud of her. However, I'm not sexually attracted to her and never really have been. I believed I could overlook and perhaps nurture that but unfortunately, it's not gotten better and I don't think it ever will. Greater problem still is, she has made me her whole world. I always knew that was wrong and tried to dissuade it, but she really doesn't have much of a life outside 'us'.....It would completely devastate her if we were to separate.....Having been through that kind of pain myself, I find it incredibly difficult to inflict it on someone else... If the other girl didn't work for me I would just cut ties with her and move away from the situation as that would be the easiest thing to do. But I don't feel it's fair either to fire her just because of the way I feel about her. So I'm stuck! At this stage I've been trying to change the way I feel about her but it's just not working and it's driving me into a very unhappy place. I feel just terrible....! At the end of the day I know these decisions will be mine and I'm going to need to sort this out. I used to be a marriage and relationship counselor myself. How ironic! So I know it helps to write things out.Thanks for reading*Regards*

Ijord8 advice please - toxic wife
  • replies: 4

I'ma keep it short sorry if I left anything out. me and my wife have been together for nearly 2 years after the worse time of our lives ( in emergency housing ) so ofc we moved in as quick as possible, she fell pregnant to find out she was trying aft... View more

I'ma keep it short sorry if I left anything out. me and my wife have been together for nearly 2 years after the worse time of our lives ( in emergency housing ) so ofc we moved in as quick as possible, she fell pregnant to find out she was trying after I told her I wasn't ready really hurt.. I've seen change in her appearance suddenly wearing revealing clothes whenever she's doing something without me, at night rolling over on her phone, the other day she labelled our son as hers, I tried to bring up my feelings but that got shut down, I suggested counselling but that was shut down and told it was all me, i haven't even a kiss in 4 days nor a hug or cuddle, times where she's hung out with guys in her new dress I haven't got to see not even wearing undies underneath, ofc I brung up us and OUR boundaries but I was wrong for that too.. she'll sit in the room all day eating and making a house a mess which Im left to clean up, I tried to make a chores schedule something simple n easy for her I do the dishes and she does the washing.. then she'd leave plates around the house mouldy pizza that's sat in the fridge for weeks, after of 2 hours of dishes I want to go out to do groceries but then .. no clothes, I'm broke cus I'm help paying her fines n bills, the cars always empty and now I just feel so empty too.. it hurts cus this isn't what I wanted in life AT ALL but I sacrifice every day even my nights for her.. night time I lay on the other side of the bed where I get up cus I can't sleep cus I feel so alone.. my force attempts of sleep turn to night terrors. As a male I'm losing it .. I don't get sex or emotions in this, I force myself out of bed each day for my boy.. I used to fight for my family but now I have to fight for my own voice, I'm slowly seeing patterns where I'm not interested in anything anymore sometimes I won't even have time to shower. Am I wrong for asking for some common ground or structure cus atm it seems like there's only broken promises.. I'm sick of begging, waiting and now refusing help cus idek how I feel anymore..

MaryDDD Should I get divorce
  • replies: 22

Me and my husband has been together for ten years and we had two kids. My husband was used to be a loving caring person toward me. Everything changed since we were in a situation when we have to strive so hard everyday to work and earn income to surv... View more

Me and my husband has been together for ten years and we had two kids. My husband was used to be a loving caring person toward me. Everything changed since we were in a situation when we have to strive so hard everyday to work and earn income to survive. Since i had my second child ( she is 9 months), he has never helped me with the house chore or even tried to look after my kids. He claimed that he was too busy at work and tired. But im working too you know. I have to go to work at 5am till 2pm 5 days a week then drove my kids from school, feed them cook meals and cleaned. I wouldnt have time for myself. Im very depressed at the cost of living plus the uncareness from my husband. We fought a lot and he often hit me when it happened. I wanted to divorce so bad but thinking abt my kids and also my income isnt high as his, how am i going to pay the mortgage and everything. I really scared my kids will have a worse life. But i am really stressed. I felt everyday is torment. House is a jail. I felt i couldnt cope with everything. I wish i just have a better income source that I can provide my children, buy off the house and leave him. What should i do

radish58 Hi everyone, help
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am male and about to turn 66. I sold my business 6 months ago and transitioning into retirement. I am married , 42 years, we have raised 3 children who are all now successful young adults. I have posted once before " no touch, no sex" about a m... View more

Hi, I am male and about to turn 66. I sold my business 6 months ago and transitioning into retirement. I am married , 42 years, we have raised 3 children who are all now successful young adults. I have posted once before " no touch, no sex" about a month ago and thank you to those who responded.I have had a number of discussions with my wife, things have changed since I sold my business, I am around home more often, doing things I haven't been able to and enjoying the tasks, I am getting back into surfing, which is truly my happy place along of course with family ( goes without saying).I never thought myself as being anxious, my wife yes. I received a message from one of my daughters yesterday saying of a funny experience my grandson had that day. I arrived home from an exercise class and asked my wife did she also get the message? She replied NO, i began telling her and she kept saying spit it out, why is he at the hospital, i said his not, and told her the message, the enjoyment was taken away. My wife said " I have lived with her for more than 40 years, I should no". I replied you think the worst with everything. This is her anxiety, we barely spoke after that, I sometimes fear repercussions regardless. This got me thinking I am also now anxious, I never used to be.I have raised her anxiety before and suggested she talk with someone, I am here to support. My wife has shot getting help or anxiety down.She says she needs space, our marriage isn't in a good place, I am trying my hardest, if our children were home now, with the at times toxicity of our marriage, I would not stay under the same roof, the negativity would worry me too much. I will seek help for my anxiety, I am generally a cool, calm, collected person, after last nights episode, I became too realise, i think I am now an anxious person, the test I took here confirmed that.Some work ahead it seems, I am going to take it on, I hope my wife does as well.

loner_311095 I dont Know what should i do
  • replies: 2

I have a 13-month-old baby. I feel like my husband lost interest in me. Before i got pregnant i found he had cheated on me (Just had phone and video conversations with other girls). Then when i caught him he told me, he not gonna do it again and woul... View more

I have a 13-month-old baby. I feel like my husband lost interest in me. Before i got pregnant i found he had cheated on me (Just had phone and video conversations with other girls). Then when i caught him he told me, he not gonna do it again and would make an effort in our relationship. Then i fell pregnant and since i got pregnant and still now we haven't had any sex last 2.5 years. i had vaginal delivery so i thought that's why he is giving me some time to heal my baby is almost 14 months now but he doesn't seem any interest in me and sex. I am very introverted so indirectly i asked him but he didn't talk with me this elaborately.I am a working mom. Sometimes i feel like i need someone who also loves me and pampers me but i don't want that as a charity, i want someone who feels for me.I dont have any close friends either whom can i share my feelings. Last few months i am feeling so depressed and tired of this.