Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

radish58 Hi everyone, help
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am male and about to turn 66. I sold my business 6 months ago and transitioning into retirement. I am married , 42 years, we have raised 3 children who are all now successful young adults. I have posted once before " no touch, no sex" about a m... View more

Hi, I am male and about to turn 66. I sold my business 6 months ago and transitioning into retirement. I am married , 42 years, we have raised 3 children who are all now successful young adults. I have posted once before " no touch, no sex" about a month ago and thank you to those who responded.I have had a number of discussions with my wife, things have changed since I sold my business, I am around home more often, doing things I haven't been able to and enjoying the tasks, I am getting back into surfing, which is truly my happy place along of course with family ( goes without saying).I never thought myself as being anxious, my wife yes. I received a message from one of my daughters yesterday saying of a funny experience my grandson had that day. I arrived home from an exercise class and asked my wife did she also get the message? She replied NO, i began telling her and she kept saying spit it out, why is he at the hospital, i said his not, and told her the message, the enjoyment was taken away. My wife said " I have lived with her for more than 40 years, I should no". I replied you think the worst with everything. This is her anxiety, we barely spoke after that, I sometimes fear repercussions regardless. This got me thinking I am also now anxious, I never used to be.I have raised her anxiety before and suggested she talk with someone, I am here to support. My wife has shot getting help or anxiety down.She says she needs space, our marriage isn't in a good place, I am trying my hardest, if our children were home now, with the at times toxicity of our marriage, I would not stay under the same roof, the negativity would worry me too much. I will seek help for my anxiety, I am generally a cool, calm, collected person, after last nights episode, I became too realise, i think I am now an anxious person, the test I took here confirmed that.Some work ahead it seems, I am going to take it on, I hope my wife does as well.

loner_311095 I dont Know what should i do
  • replies: 2

I have a 13-month-old baby. I feel like my husband lost interest in me. Before i got pregnant i found he had cheated on me (Just had phone and video conversations with other girls). Then when i caught him he told me, he not gonna do it again and woul... View more

I have a 13-month-old baby. I feel like my husband lost interest in me. Before i got pregnant i found he had cheated on me (Just had phone and video conversations with other girls). Then when i caught him he told me, he not gonna do it again and would make an effort in our relationship. Then i fell pregnant and since i got pregnant and still now we haven't had any sex last 2.5 years. i had vaginal delivery so i thought that's why he is giving me some time to heal my baby is almost 14 months now but he doesn't seem any interest in me and sex. I am very introverted so indirectly i asked him but he didn't talk with me this elaborately.I am a working mom. Sometimes i feel like i need someone who also loves me and pampers me but i don't want that as a charity, i want someone who feels for me.I dont have any close friends either whom can i share my feelings. Last few months i am feeling so depressed and tired of this.

Grace53 Increasing rents putting strain on me and my family
  • replies: 4

Hi I'm a British migrant with no family here I have a husband that suffers from depression and doesn't work and my daughter has anxiety I work full time but with the increasing rent rises I'm struggling financially im alone have a big burden on my sh... View more

Hi I'm a British migrant with no family here I have a husband that suffers from depression and doesn't work and my daughter has anxiety I work full time but with the increasing rent rises I'm struggling financially im alone have a big burden on my shoulders and fear we will run out of money I don't get any government assistance my husband won't claim for Centrelink im a support worker so I'm caring for people all the time some times i feel sick with worry mght end up living in a tent or my car my daughter is still at school 15 I'm 53 and life gets tiring and hard for me I will keep going till the money runs out hopefully my husband will help out and get a job its frustrating as he smokes and wastes the money i earm

Bubby36 Getting blocked by a close online friend- Feeling the sadness and anxiety the past month
  • replies: 6

This is my first time on here but I look forward to the interactions! My (22 yr old guy) close online friend from America (20 female), I've known since December 2022 blocked me last month and I've been grieving everyday. We were really close, we talk... View more

This is my first time on here but I look forward to the interactions! My (22 yr old guy) close online friend from America (20 female), I've known since December 2022 blocked me last month and I've been grieving everyday. We were really close, we talked everyday and I even sent her a gift in the mail as she shared her address with me, we were that close. I'm really hurt by how it happened and I tried so hard to prevent it but my anxiety was the driving force of why she did, she tolerated it at first but when life got in the way she couldn't talk or interact as much, but she tried her best. I feel so guilty because she asked for space so many times but I would not give it, in terms of I would always text and get anxious when she doesn't specify a time to get back to me. The block came out of nowhere but in context we had an argument the night before and when I woke up to greet her good morning, she blocked me upon seeing my text. I've tried to reach out to friends for advice and help, some helpful more then others. I had a panic attack on the train today as I tried to reach out to a friend from another state by calling her. Her new (3 months) boyfriend saw it and texted me to not do that again but my anxiety compelled me to call and her boyfriend insulted me and accused me of not being her friend as she was being supportive of my situation and therefore blocked me on her account which caused the panic attack as it triggered memories of my American friend blocking me as another person as blocked me (All be it potentially not my fault this time due to the controlling boyfriend). Lucky a man around my age consoled me and gave me some tissues and his attention to talk about how I feel throughout the whole train trip. Today feels like a new low due that incident on the train and it being 3 weeks since my American friend blocked me. I know I have to move on but I am struggling to accept it, one thing I did that was bad was making alternate accounts to get her attention in order for her to forgive me. I regret that and I realise that is part of my grief to get something back I lost, I really cared for her and that connection with someone is special and I don't have any of that with my existing friends. I hope this is all ok and I can get some responses about some things I can do (I have being seeing a therapist and trying to get a routine) but happiness is hard to come by, every happy thing I do seems to not work and I have felt sadness every single day for a month.

Kez77 Legal and financial help to get out of toxic relationship
  • replies: 4

So all my money is wrapped up and goes into our home account which is just in my fiancees name and he is verbally and physically abusive and dealing with bipolar which I have tried to help him through the last year for was a herion addict 30 years ag... View more

So all my money is wrapped up and goes into our home account which is just in my fiancees name and he is verbally and physically abusive and dealing with bipolar which I have tried to help him through the last year for was a herion addict 30 years ago and they changed his meds and now is not the person I meet and will not accept that needs help even thought family and I have told him even recorded his out rages and showed him but still just blames me for everything. I can't do this anymore I have tried to help for last year support us looked after him when could get out of bed for days on end and I just can't do anymore but all my money is in our home account that he has control over. I went and saw a couple local solicitors but they wand $400-$500 just for a appointment. I can't access that money or he will know is there any other way can get help. Have spoken to QPS and if he lays another hand on me can have him removed for 48 hours but that's not going to help just make things much worse. I don't know what to do but have video of his outbursts and all just need help to find a way to get out without setting him off. Was our anniversary the weekend just gone and he brought me flowers we went to our fav restaurant and had a good weekend as soon as goes back to work he just starts with the verbal abuse non stop about me and my family when all we have done is helped him for he has no family is like it sets him off something he has done at work or something. I am at my wits end and love him when he is his normal self but that is not very often and keep asking him to come with me and see a new doctor and therapy together but never will for doesn't want to admit he has a issue just wants to blame me my family and everyone around him. I don't know what to do anymore when he starts with the verbal abuse in texts I just ignore and then be nice and make sure everything is perfect at home house clean everything done ask what would like for dinner ... He just goes to work comes home and hides in spare room I am the maid the provider and the one he can lash out on to make himself feel better. I just need a way to get help to access our money which we have always paid double home loan and put into saving when make much less but seem to pay more for all food and household things I pay for. And now just keeps threatening me and telling me to leave when he is having a rage and then when normal loves me. I can't do it anymore.

Alyciae Stay or go?
  • replies: 1

I have been with my partner for 3 years. We have so much fun, but in the last year we have had some stressful things happen and we haven’t been the best supports to each other. As a result of this, every week we will butt heads and have a disagreemen... View more

I have been with my partner for 3 years. We have so much fun, but in the last year we have had some stressful things happen and we haven’t been the best supports to each other. As a result of this, every week we will butt heads and have a disagreement. These usually start with me being short (either annoyed by something he has/hasn’t done), cracking the shits over something minor or one of us not getting out needs met. I know I wasn’t being the best partner. I have just found out that he had formed an emotional relationship with someone from work and this had been going on for the past few months. I’m obviously beside myself, but since we weren’t in the best place I can see how emotional needs were being met elsewhere (I don’t agree with any of this). I’m now a few months on from finding out and he has done well with trying to build things back. However, when we now argue I feel so isolated because I have no one I can openly talk to about any of this as I don’t want my friends/families opinion of him or me for staying to change.

justgotosleep I'm making my husband sad
  • replies: 4

For those with who suffer through depression and anxiety (like me), have you ever thought that subconsciously one of the big reasons you push a spouse away is because you're flat out finding your own happiness let alone being responsible for there's?... View more

For those with who suffer through depression and anxiety (like me), have you ever thought that subconsciously one of the big reasons you push a spouse away is because you're flat out finding your own happiness let alone being responsible for there's?....and the more they push for you to 'open up' and get in your face and tell you to 'snap out of it' followed by 'you're ruining our marriage...', just makes you push them away more? I've lived through the sadness. I've been on medication for 2 1/2 years, I found motivation and happiness when I felt mentally stronger and found a job that I loved working 1 1/2 hrs away at a mine. A family member is also from that industry and I found my place. Things were better for me. My roster allowed me to be home every weekend and a weekday. But with a husband at home, working fulltime and taking care of the kids (our 10yr old son on the spectrum), he struggled and would constantly remind me of my time away. He phoned me EVERY night that I was away since late 2021. One night, he in tears, I decided I should come home. The transition hasn't been easy though. I left a job that I love and to me, every other option will be mediocre, including the job I now have which is 100% in an office and not the outdoorsy job I had at the mine. I feel lost. My mental health is slipping again. I feel like I've come back for the kids and the husband and now I have nothing for me. And I've been called selfish too...which is probably right, but when you have depression and anxiety and you find a year and a bit of joy and happiness you hold on to it with an iron fist. I sleep on the couch. I'm making my husband sad but I can't lie to him or me about how I feel. I don't want sex. I just want to raise our kids under the same roof and that's it.

James_1999 Am I cheating on my partner?
  • replies: 8

Hi so I went to Europe recently whilst my girlfriend stayed behind. I love her very much and we have a great relationship. While I was in Scotland I went out clubbing and took some drugs with a guy I met at the club. This was very unlike me as I have... View more

Hi so I went to Europe recently whilst my girlfriend stayed behind. I love her very much and we have a great relationship. While I was in Scotland I went out clubbing and took some drugs with a guy I met at the club. This was very unlike me as I have never taken drugs and was quite drunk at this point and thought I’m only young once. I don’t know if the drugs affected my memory but next thing I know the guy I was with has downloaded Tinder on my phone and I’m swiping on it for fun. I spoke to one girl on this only to say I’m on holiday but never anything romantic or sexual. I feel really guilty and haven’t told my girlfriend about this as I fear she’d end the relationship. But I also think I should tell her out of moral. I keep thinking about it but I also don’t know whether to just blame the drug considering that was my first time using it and I would never cheat. Would love some help with this, I feel like I can’t tell anyone without being judged and feeling more guilty. - James

Seriouslytho Divorce after 30 years and lost my support systems
  • replies: 2

Pretty much what the title says. It’s rough right now, and I am feeling more alone than I have in my life. And I was an orphan, so that’s saying something. I was diagnosed with CPTSD about 7 years ago (was also abused/sexually assaulted in my childho... View more

Pretty much what the title says. It’s rough right now, and I am feeling more alone than I have in my life. And I was an orphan, so that’s saying something. I was diagnosed with CPTSD about 7 years ago (was also abused/sexually assaulted in my childhood and young adulthood), and have been making a lot of progress with healing since then. My marriage was steeped in conservative Christianity. It was codependent. I tried 5/6 therapists over 30 years to make this work. He lost his faith 11 years in, and I followed a few years later. We have two kids, one is an adult and the other is soon to follow. I had to work in another state during the pandemic, and I realise I was much happier without him. He didn’t like to spend time on the phone or video call. When the borders opened up, it didn’t occur to him to have a joyful reunion. He didn’t ask when I was coming home. He rarely initiated contact, then got upset and defensive when I called him out. I united sex almost exclusively the whole relationship, and got rejected most of the time. There’s so much more, but that gives you a basic idea. Late last year I reconnected with an old friend from high school. He was my biggest crush. We started talking, and developed major feelings for each other. Before things developed further with my crush, I asked my husband for a divorce. The new man was a catalyst more than anything. I took a lot of time to make sure i wanted the divorce regardless of whether this new relationship worked out or not. I consulted with our couples therapist who had previously told us we were codependent-my soon to be ex denied we were and disagreed. He disagreed with all our therapists. He’s consistently dismissed me throughout our marriage. He may be on the spectrum-the couples therapist thinks so. Both kids are in favour of the divorce. We’re trying to get our youngest some help with other issues. She was disrespectful to me today during the process. He decided she wasn’t. He’s saying I’m the problem, I’m too angry. It’s such a mess. I want to move out, but I can’t (too expensive and I could lose my claim on the house). It’s like they are ganging up on me. I have lost my support network because I left my faith, and because I’m seeing someone else while separated. I had to drop other friends because I realised I was attracting friends who also have CPTSD, which wasn’t healthy. Again, I have never felt more alone, despite having two therapists (who actually haven’t been available lately). My new partner lives in my home country, and thigh he’s supportive (he’s separated, too) Thanks for reading. No idea what to do next. No idea how to build a new support system. No idea how to win my almost adult kid back, or if I ever will be able to. And I’m hurting rather badly. That’s it, really.

TaylahAnn Alcoholic families
  • replies: 1

I’ve read a post recently about a mum battling cancer but her daughter is an alcoholic. my mum was battling cancer for the past three years - I’m an alcoholic but I was at her bedside everyday. I couldn’t have done that if I was drinking - so obvious... View more

I’ve read a post recently about a mum battling cancer but her daughter is an alcoholic. my mum was battling cancer for the past three years - I’m an alcoholic but I was at her bedside everyday. I couldn’t have done that if I was drinking - so obviously I wasn’t. I can’t imagine life without her - she’s my best friend. however, a family holiday is now organised but I’m not invited - because I’m an alcoholic. It hurts so much. I’ve always been there for her but she’s worried I won’t be able to cope watching my family members drink. I know she loves me but ive never felt so alone. My children will be there as will there dad - my ex husband. any thoughts on how I could tell her how I’m feeling?