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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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VanVincent My wife thinks I am having an affair when I am not
  • replies: 9

Consistently throughout our relationship since we got married my wife has accused me of having an affair with another woman. I am in an industry that requires travel occasionally and this has led to issues. In recent times she has installed monitorin... View more

Consistently throughout our relationship since we got married my wife has accused me of having an affair with another woman. I am in an industry that requires travel occasionally and this has led to issues. In recent times she has installed monitoring software on my phone to track my movements and be able to turn the camera and microphone on and off. What is upsetting is that while I have never had an affair on her - she had an affair several years ago that lasted for 18 months. After therapy I forgave her. So it is very hurtful that despite my every effort she will not stop accusing me of cheating. Her relationship with her mother and sister is strained, she also accuses them of cheating constantly, including with me in the past. I am concerned it is some kind of issue requiring help because she also keeps accusing me of smirking or laughing when I am not and hears me admitting to things I am not saying. She is now fixated on a woman who lives in another part of the country whom I have never met. She gets very angry and emotional regarding this other woman and I am not able to convince her that I am not having an affair with this person (or anyone else). She tells my children I am talking to this other person and accuses me of stealing things from her to send to this other woman. Nearly every happy occasion is ruined by accusations including birthdays, Christmas and other important days. I am very ill and was only given 5 years to live a few years ago though I will fight to make sure that does not happen as best I can- I do not want things to end like this. It is very distressing.

maec i feel so alone at home
  • replies: 4

My home situation hasn't been the best. some days are good and theres no arguing or lectures and others it arguing for hours all shouting and crying and throwing and etc. Everytime i try to voice out my feelings it's considered back talk, or disrespe... View more

My home situation hasn't been the best. some days are good and theres no arguing or lectures and others it arguing for hours all shouting and crying and throwing and etc. Everytime i try to voice out my feelings it's considered back talk, or disrespect. never actually just my feelings waiting to be heard and seen. i haven't slept, i cant sleep. i feel so angry all the time now and just at an all time low. i feel so depressed. all i wanted was for my parents to understand and hear how i'm feeling. and you'd think at 19 they would start hearing me out. but no it's just like last year and every year, last month last week yesterday. i feel as though nothing i do for my parents even siblings will ever matter or account to anything to be seen heard and loved. i cant even see my partner with my own free will. the one person other than god that makes me happy and at feel at peace. i tired of feeling angry all the time and sad lonely. i'm sick of the anxiety that runs through me at every mishap. every one just expects me to listen and do as told no questions asked no opinions no thoughts no disrespect. they make me feel like such a burden. Everything is disregarded. do i have to take serious measures for them to finally hear and understand me? i don't know how i'm gonna cope much longer.

chloe_marie Post breakup
  • replies: 1

I have recently left a relationship. I won’t go into the details of it. But since leaving, I feel so out of place, I packed up and left, moved 2000km away. All of future plans have just disappeared. I think because I made them all with him. Now I’m i... View more

I have recently left a relationship. I won’t go into the details of it. But since leaving, I feel so out of place, I packed up and left, moved 2000km away. All of future plans have just disappeared. I think because I made them all with him. Now I’m in a job where I don’t even feel like it’s for me. I’m in a new town, broke with all my animals. Plus my other animals still in the town I left because I can’t afford to move them. I just feel so so out of place and feel like I’m ticking time bomb that’s just hanging on by a thread. I had so much planned and now I can’t even plan to get past the day. Does anyone have any advice on this or has felt the same?

Lotus_85 AITAH for wanting to go out
  • replies: 11

So it's always been a problem, but has reduced over the yrs. I'm not able to go out with friends without feeling like garbage. Yrs ago I never went out because I believed I was selfish and mean for wanting to. These days I fight for it, and damn I ha... View more

So it's always been a problem, but has reduced over the yrs. I'm not able to go out with friends without feeling like garbage. Yrs ago I never went out because I believed I was selfish and mean for wanting to. These days I fight for it, and damn I have to fight. Most recent example...Girls at work asked me to go with them for a night away, girls night thing and go to the big markets and winery near where we r staying. I told him about 2 months ago and was met with 'y would u want to do that, u do even like that stuff, I just think it's stupid and a waste of time and money'. Feeling guilty and horrible for wanting it, I fought and explained it's more about the girls night than anything. When I didn't agree that I was stupid for wanting it he said 'we were spose to go to those markets (coz I had mentioned I wanted to yrs ago when we were nearby but they weren't on that wkend). So then it was all about me taking an experience from him (even tho we could go another time, but apparently it's not the same if I've already been). I don't exactly remember saying it, but apparently I said I wasn't going. Now me yelling 'FINE I WONT GO' sounds like wat I would do when I couldn't fight anymore. Nothing else was mentioned after that, I forgot about it even. I got reminded about the wkend the other day and reminded him. He made a snark comment 'u mean the trip we were meant to take?' I said no we could've gone another time. He left it, now I realise he left it becoz I had already promised him sex that night. Then last night... when I got home... he said it alright. Now I have apparently been lying to him for the last month planning away, and what else am I bullsh1tting him about. I took an experience from him and I lied to him and am so rude and and disrespectful for it... now I see this all very different. I see him being an AH controlling piece of xxx u can't stand me being away from him and doing something for me.We don't have the best relationship and don't really spend another time together, I hang out in my room and watch netflix in my spare time and he hangs out in the shed doing his own thing. But it's my fault we don't hang out coz I won't leave my room. Partly yes but not all me. I like my space and we have nothing to talk about when we r together. We have made small changes lately like Saturday coffee dates with a walk on the beach so we at least have that time.AITAH for wanting to go? For going out with the girls maybe 5 or 6 times a yr? I have to fight so hard and feel so miserable to have it. Maybe I am the AH.He says come out of my room and hang out with him, but I sit and get bored while he smokes and watches Fishing, so I go back to watch my shows. I dunno.. just needed to get this out I guess without screaming.

NR32 Marital problems turned into wife having an affair
  • replies: 1

My relationship with my wife started to deteriorate last year. We found ourselves just going through the motions and would barely speak some nights. Most of this was caused by me being stuck in a rut and not making the effort. 10 days ago we finally ... View more

My relationship with my wife started to deteriorate last year. We found ourselves just going through the motions and would barely speak some nights. Most of this was caused by me being stuck in a rut and not making the effort. 10 days ago we finally had a conversation about it and how we both felt about where the relationship was headed. Our kids were staying at her sister's at the time and she was going to go there on the Saturday and I would go on the Sunday to see them before they went to stay with my parents for a week. She said I needed to think about what I wanted on the Saturday. I had a miserable day with so many thoughts running through my head. One of which was that she was cheating on me.Come Sunday night we spoke about it again and I asked her if she was cheating on me. She said no. I said that I wanted to try and fix our relationship rather than just giving up. She said she didn't know what to do. After 2 hours of talking she tells me that something had happened with a guy she used to work with. She had been emotionally cheating on me for 5 months and they had sex in November. She said it only happened once. I felt sick and angry and I was shaking so much. I ended up going for a walk and calling my best mate (who is married to my wife's sister) and told him everything. He was super supportive and helped me calm down.I went back home and spoke with my wife more. I said I still wanted to try and fix things. I still love her. In the week that's been I still want to fix things but she admitted tonight that she had begun to have feelings for this guy because she was able to talk to him about everything. It didn't come as a surprise but still hurts. She admitted that she should have spoken up about everything long before she cheated but I accept I should have said something as well.She has said she wants to fix things but it doesn't feel like she is willing to put in the effort because she thinks I will always resent her and hold it against her.I want to be able to forgive her and move forward but I need her to want to do the same.Thanks and any advice would be greatly appreciated

Nissan9 Being their for pregnant wife
  • replies: 2

Hi All been together with my wife for 10 years and my wife is currently 2 months pregnant i am struggling with knowing how to be there for her. She already struggling herself with crazy tiredness and emotions going everywhere which is common with pre... View more

Hi All been together with my wife for 10 years and my wife is currently 2 months pregnant i am struggling with knowing how to be there for her. She already struggling herself with crazy tiredness and emotions going everywhere which is common with pregnancy and nothing I say or do seems to help just makes the situation worse. Sometimes i don't say anything then still seems to cause issue, i feel like i am sucking so bad at being their for her and its driving me nuts. If anyone has any ideas no matter what please help thanks

be_yourself I want to see my family overseas
  • replies: 2

My ex won't let me take our children with me to see my side of family overseas. So I asked him to look after them while I'm gone. He refused. I can't take them with me, I can't leave them with him.How can I solve this matter? Can I talk to social wor... View more

My ex won't let me take our children with me to see my side of family overseas. So I asked him to look after them while I'm gone. He refused. I can't take them with me, I can't leave them with him.How can I solve this matter? Can I talk to social worker at Centrelink? I don't want a lawyer involved for so many reasons.

Hepa4300 What does my future hold
  • replies: 2

I am a 53 year old male married to 31 year old woman whom I love so dearly, we have 2 beautiful children whom we both love. I have posted in the past about something that happened in our previous location that drove me to move my family interstate to... View more

I am a 53 year old male married to 31 year old woman whom I love so dearly, we have 2 beautiful children whom we both love. I have posted in the past about something that happened in our previous location that drove me to move my family interstate to be clear of the trauma.i myself have not been clear from the trauma it has festered and existed inside me for over 18 months, the blame, guilt, anger which has now come to a point I am unable to cope anymore. My wife has been a victim of SA from when she was 10 years old into her mid teens, she has struggled with her own demons since and even now faces them nearly daily, these demons are self worth of which she feels none and guilt. In our last location, she became victim to a narcissistic abuser who knew how to use her empathetic nature against her, that is why we moved, at her lowest she had a sexual fling with a person over the course of a weekend, I have just discovered this part just today but my mind suspected as much for the last 18 months but I could get no information or truth from her. The discovery of the fling actually brought me peace, my suspicion and imagination was so much worse than the truth. It does not change the fact that I still love her, but now she knows I’m aware she has closed herself down, embarrassed to speak to me, anger at me and herself. I have been having severe panic attacks truly horrible things, I have felt desperate and suicidal that I was lied to that this has dragged on for so long when the truth could have released all the anxiety and stress so long ago. It has destroyed my mental health, she is the love of my life I don’t want to lose her, I’ve told her I don’t care about what happened but I still need to process the events. I don’t know where my future lies or who it lies with. I am scared for my family, I am scared of not having my friend and love at my side.

BabyDepression07 Fight with partner, i have depression n going through tough greif
  • replies: 4

I'm 28 years of agei got into a massive fight with my partner today to the point my son n i almost became homeless cause he either don't care or don't want to accept that i have.... Anxiety. Bipolar. ADHD.and epilepsy. To top it all off i just lost m... View more

I'm 28 years of agei got into a massive fight with my partner today to the point my son n i almost became homeless cause he either don't care or don't want to accept that i have.... Anxiety. Bipolar. ADHD.and epilepsy. To top it all off i just lost my mother a year ago n still going through some tough grieving. I don't know what to do cause it's even affecting my son. please help.

Thesunwillcomeup Anxiety on Name of Daughter
  • replies: 2

Apologises if this isn't meant to be here, but my wife and i are struggling, and we need help. We named our beautiful daughter "Lana" 9 years ago, and didn't know the issue with backwards spelling at the time. It has been pointed out since, and recen... View more

Apologises if this isn't meant to be here, but my wife and i are struggling, and we need help. We named our beautiful daughter "Lana" 9 years ago, and didn't know the issue with backwards spelling at the time. It has been pointed out since, and recently because of some crap Netflix Reality show, they have exploited the backwards spelling for commerical gain. Unfortunately girls in her school are now starting the bullying and teasing. We feel terrible and regret the decision we made. We love the name, but now think we might need to take action. It is eating us inside, that we might have created such a life long issue for our daughter. Any help