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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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youcantknow My mum is driving me mad! she can't cope with me!!
  • replies: 4

My mum is the coordinator of the wellbeing centre at my school! i don't understand how she has all the time in the world to talk to them and care about them but then when I'm having a bad day she cants cope with me! we had a fight the other day (one ... View more

My mum is the coordinator of the wellbeing centre at my school! i don't understand how she has all the time in the world to talk to them and care about them but then when I'm having a bad day she cants cope with me! we had a fight the other day (one of many lately) because i was having a bad day (couldn't get out of bed and be just soo sad u know). she starting yelling saying how she doesn't understand why I'm still like this after she has done everything to help me, take me to a specialist and pay for all these medications! she says things like this all the time when we're fighting she doesn't even realise how much it hurts me knowing that she understands that the kids she sees at school cannot be ok but whenever I'm not its the end of the world. or even when my brother comments saying means things like it's not like she eats anyway or just random things about me that obviously means nothing to them but hurts me so much!!!

JasmineC Trust issue in relationship
  • replies: 5

My husband and I have been married for more than a year, but 2 years before the wedding I found out that he cheated on me with another girl when he went overseas for a holiday. So we broke up after that. Fast forward about a year later, we got back t... View more

My husband and I have been married for more than a year, but 2 years before the wedding I found out that he cheated on me with another girl when he went overseas for a holiday. So we broke up after that. Fast forward about a year later, we got back together, things were cleared up as I understood that we were not that serious in our relationship, also his mum did not approve of our relationship, plus I still loved him so I forgave him, well I thought I did. Not until recently I find myself constantly go on his facebook messenger and check his messages because that was how I found out about the previous cheating scandal. I found one of this message in his facebook messenger. He was saying "I miss you" to her out of nowhere and I don't know if I'm just over thinking but the messages sound a little bit flirty. Should I be concerned? After what happened in the past, I can honestly say that my trust issue hasn't actually been repaired yet, but I really don't know what to do now. I really love him and he has been a great husband since we got back together again. I just don't want this trust issue of mine to ruin our relationship, should I see a counsellor?

Guest_7403 Step son accusations/lying
  • replies: 13

Hi all haven't posted a thread for a long time on here, not because I haven't been struggling...more because I know my issues and what I should be doing but something happened on Sunday that has thrown me completely and myself even wife don't know wh... View more

Hi all haven't posted a thread for a long time on here, not because I haven't been struggling...more because I know my issues and what I should be doing but something happened on Sunday that has thrown me completely and myself even wife don't know what to do about it exactly. We have two 6 year olds (my daughter) and my wife's son....we also have a 6 month old together. We have split parenting so the bigger kids are only here 50/50 My wife messaged her ex Sunday because she had caught her son telling little white lies (about eating his snacks etc) and that his behaviour and mood has changed and his lack of interest in school (grade 1) to find out if his dad had noticed any changes His dad replied saying that a week ago his son told him "I sneak down to the toy room and push him to the ground constantly" he then stated that I "make him cover his eyes and walk into things as punishment". Now I and my wife know that these are complete lies, and even his dad stated he's sure that I'm just playing around with him. But the thing is when it comes to the step son I have a no touch policy, I don't play pretend fights with him, I don't touch him jokingly...I just don't find it appropriate and I do it that way to avoid things like this. I also let my wife discipline him, I don't like to discipline someone else's child unless necessary. So my point being kids can miscontrue things, but in this case he can't be confused as I don't remotely do things he's referred too. So my wife msged the ex and told him what I'm like with him. 10 minutes later the ex calls her apologising saying he's just challenged him on what he's said and he's admitted to making the whole thing up because "his brain told him too" I'm very concerned about this as I spend a bit of time alone with this child when mum's at work. At the moment we've cancelled his birthday party this week, and asked that he stays at his dad's for two weeks as a repercussion and learning experience. Too which his dad feels is appropriate. My main concern moving forward is what to do and how to act with this child now, I don't trust him and have told the wife I won't be putting myself in a position where I'm alone with him to have anymore accusations thrown at me I'm aware he is only 6 but I guess my concern is the seriousness and details of the lies that worry me about getting in trouble with dhs etc I also feel sick to my stomach that he's done this to me, as I do alot for that boy and it really is a slap in the face

MummaPetal Difficult in laws and marriage
  • replies: 7

I'm thinking of leaving my husband of 10 years because I am so tired of feeling alone in the marriage and battling my in laws. We have a child. I'm not a confrontational person and I have a MIL and SIL who often challenge me. They want their own way ... View more

I'm thinking of leaving my husband of 10 years because I am so tired of feeling alone in the marriage and battling my in laws. We have a child. I'm not a confrontational person and I have a MIL and SIL who often challenge me. They want their own way constantly and can't place themselves in anyone else's shoes. They have judged and belittled me. My husband works long hours during the day. I truly appreciate how hard he works for our family but he shuts off when he gets home. He is often on his phone but doesn't use social media. We have no intimacy in our relationship. It doesn't help that we don't get many opportunities for date nights. If we do get any time, he will be on his phone. He helps a bit around the house but I do most of the parenting. I am happy with my role as a parent but I want an equal partner. And, to be honest, I want some TLC every now and then too. My SIL said her mother was always telling them what to do and always nagging when they were younger. I can only guess it could be why my husband won't listen to me. I'm at my wits' end.

Leilani_Rose I love my children, I feel trapped sometimes in my marriage.
  • replies: 7

I am 33 years old a mother of 3 beautiful children, 11, 9 and 2 years of age. We have been married for 12 years, it's been wonderful , we have had our ups and downs we have fought hard to keep our marriage strong. I don't who to talk too because my f... View more

I am 33 years old a mother of 3 beautiful children, 11, 9 and 2 years of age. We have been married for 12 years, it's been wonderful , we have had our ups and downs we have fought hard to keep our marriage strong. I don't who to talk too because my family will say you get through this, it's part of being married, what about the kids?? 2 days ago i had a break down i was so exhausted being a full time mum is a hard job, but i love spending time with the children. As he was getting ready for work, he asked me whats wrong , I said it's nothing he just stared at me and got ready for work i felt like screaming out loud and saying i am so tired it would be nice for once you could help around the house, we have a daughter she has ADHD it's so challenging sometimes, he works night shift Monday to Saturday when he comes home he sleeps i do my daily run school drop off etc.. he comes with me to pick up kids after school, he hangs with the kids than goes sleep. Today we picked up the kids we got into an argument i started crying in front of the kids, I told him to leave me alone lately he has been saying to me i work, i pay the bills it really hurts because what am i doing at home nothing?? When I say im tired he would respond i do 12 hour shift? I always look at my kids, don't want to hurt them, I have no job to support them if i say to my husband i want to separate there are times i love my kids , my daughter who has adhd is close with him. He is a great father, wonderful but our relationship there's no communication, i dont know what to do

grt123 How do you know when it's time to leave?
  • replies: 13

I was married for over 30 years. I was as loyal as a Labrador and wouldn't let go no matter how bad things got. Then one day 'bing' - I was done. The trigger was insignificant - no argument or fireworks. It was like I'd been on a journey and I'd quie... View more

I was married for over 30 years. I was as loyal as a Labrador and wouldn't let go no matter how bad things got. Then one day 'bing' - I was done. The trigger was insignificant - no argument or fireworks. It was like I'd been on a journey and I'd quietly pulled into the station.

Nat11 Stop caring what people think
  • replies: 5

How do I stop caring what people think I feel it consumes me and defines how I feel on a daily basis. I know it’s lack of confidence of myself I have struggled my whole life to like myself I find it hard to accept when I make mistakes I always want t... View more

How do I stop caring what people think I feel it consumes me and defines how I feel on a daily basis. I know it’s lack of confidence of myself I have struggled my whole life to like myself I find it hard to accept when I make mistakes I always want to be perfect and if I am not I tend to want to give up feel worthless feel no one wants me or I am just a big disappointment how do I find away to be confident and stop caring what others think is it I need to change my attitudes towards myself I’m sick of going through life feel unsatisfied and always sensitive to everything

kate5281 partner has depression, is irrational and im struggling
  • replies: 1

Hi, this is my first post, but I need some help and advice! my partner and I were together for a year before a series of events caused him to start to change, I lived with this for 6 months trying to support him, trying to prompt him to get help, tel... View more

Hi, this is my first post, but I need some help and advice! my partner and I were together for a year before a series of events caused him to start to change, I lived with this for 6 months trying to support him, trying to prompt him to get help, telling him he had changed but he didn't see it, until one night he got really drunk and I had to call the police. this was a defining moment for him and for us I guess. he realised he had an issue and he sought help. he has been through counselling how effective I don't know as he never discusses it with me or even tells me when he is has been going, he is medicated also. this has been 12 months now and to be honest it has been hell! he has improved slightly but he surely isn't that person I fell in love with. I am constantly guilt tripped. I cannot do anything alone and even just the mention of I am going to visit a friend creates issues, he claims he doesn't have an issue with it but comments and immediate change in attitude says otherwise. he says I don't involve him in mine and my children's (teenage kids who aren't his ) lives, I am not sure what he means by this comment as he is actively involved in every decision I make or any thing I do. he will attack me for something that I am not doing, and it always turns out he is doing it. for example I have a male friend at work, purely platonic strictly work related no outside work place involvement aside from social media friends, and I also have a large number of female friends from work who I socialise with outside of work, he took my phone one night whilst I was in the shower and scrolled to find a text from the male friend (quite old I might add) all work related but went off. skipped the female friend messages. and justified it that we are talking and he wanted to know so he could find out what he could talk to me about! just last week after months of me stressing about money, we have some big expenses coming up and me being unhappy in my job like im loosing sleep. he attacked me for trying to work out our finances a& not spending time with him (FYI sitting on the couch with him!) and then I found out later he had spent over $2500 on a hobby in that past week behind my back. I am such a fool. he claims I am over reacting etc this is out of control now our relationship is hanging by a thread and I cannot get through to him. there is 2 sets of rules. well one his! please help!

Broken-heartedmum My husband wants a divorce and we have a 6 month old baby - I’m broken
  • replies: 9

Ive been with my husband for almost 8 years and married just shy of 3. We had the most amazing life together ( so I thought...) had a beautiful wedding and the best belated honeymoon that I planned for over a year in 2017. Then in January 2018 we fou... View more

Ive been with my husband for almost 8 years and married just shy of 3. We had the most amazing life together ( so I thought...) had a beautiful wedding and the best belated honeymoon that I planned for over a year in 2017. Then in January 2018 we found out I got pregnant almost immediately after trying and thats when our fairytale love story started to come crashing down. He was never excited that I got pregnant and was quite disappointed that “ his life is now over and there’s nothing to look forward too but paying for the child and school fees” His mindset was always negative about starting a family but we all assumed it would change once she was born, after all he was 35 and I’m 34 so it was time to start a family. But unfortunately nothing changed and he was just looking like this depressed , unhappy and hating his life man who developed an eating and exercise disorder with huge body image issues. This would kill me seeing him like that so I would always threaten and say to him just leave if you don’t want this and you hate your life so much. When our daughter was 8 weeks old I moved out to give him some space and reflect but he was loving life as the house was clean and he would go to the gym morning and night so before he got too comfortable I came back to work on things and then he started treating me differently and being very cold towards me. He moved 2 weeks after I came back. It’s been 4 months since we lived together and I had been trying everything to get him back, psychologists, marriage therapy, space and time and 2 weeks ago he said he has had enough and wants a divorce as the resentment he holds towards me is too strong to overcome and he thinks I’m just financially driven and will take all the money in the property settlement as I have a child to raise the rest of my life. When we saw the marriage therapist 3 weeks ago as an absolute last resort all these bombshells came out how he wasn’t ready for marriage and I pressured him... our daughter doesn’t feel like his and in his mind it’s mine and my mother’s, that I never appreciated anything he did for me which I don’t know how else I could’ve shown appreciation other than get on my hands and knees and thank him, he felt like he was my punching bag because I would vent to him when I had a horrible day, that he couldn’t do anything right because I was too critical. He’s made me feel like I am the reason that our marriage failed and my baby girl has to grow up in a brokenfamily I’m broken

Hope19 Long distance relationship lonliness
  • replies: 6

Hi, My hubby, best friend and soul mate had to move for his job and I was unable to go due to the care of my 2 children and their father refusing to allow me to take them. My hubby and I have been together for so long, not all smooth sailing but we g... View more

Hi, My hubby, best friend and soul mate had to move for his job and I was unable to go due to the care of my 2 children and their father refusing to allow me to take them. My hubby and I have been together for so long, not all smooth sailing but we got there and now he has gone, although we are still together it feels like I am alone, we are unable to speak every day, I can't reach out and get a hug if I need it and I feel so lonely and isolated and have no friends or family close by, I live in a country town that's isolated and just don't know what to do.