Loneliness

[Toosmile]

Hello.
I haven't been in forums since high school, that was ten years ago.
Without getting into everything, I realise I need help again. I haven't experienced this type of loneliness before. I have a husband and some family but I really can't share my problems with them. They just don't understand. I've come here as my marriage isn't strong right now, my family are distant and I don't have friends to talk with. I feel empty, sad and alone. I don't know how to open up to others and I guess that's because I always feel judgement from others. I thought maybe coming here and talking with like minded people, I could get some help. I'm tired of feeling lonely, it's horrible and it's not helping my anxiety or depression.
Apologies if this isn't the right thread or I haven't given enough information. To be honest is was hard enough to sign up
Thank you

[geoff]

Hello Toosmile, a warm welcome to the forums and my apology for you thread not being replied to, sometimes this happens when the site is busy and unanswered threads get pushed onto page 2 then 3, so I'm sorry,

Many of us are also frightened to open up when we first start, simply because we are talking to people who we don't know and can't see their face, that's the benefit of these forums, so please I hope you feel a little more comfortable, don't be scared, you've come to the right site.

We don't judge anybody nor do we criticise because all of us have been through similar circumstances as you have mentioned as well as many other issues.

It's often tough talking to new people but please have a bit of confidence because what you can elaborate on to help us target the main problems you have, would be terrific.

Take care.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[white knight]

Hi Toosmile, welcome

I join with Geoff to say that its great you've made the first post.

Many others wont understand and if I can address that particularly in the following thread- it explains why. Use Google and you only need to read the first post.

Beyondblue topic they just wont understand- why?

Beyondblue topic Ostracised – whos fault is it?

Beyondblue topic Realism, you are what your are. It’s your nature

Beyondblue topic who cares for the carer?

Beyondblue topic 3 things, happy marriage, hobbies and spirit

I hope they help. We have thousands of these on this forum just key in a word on search.

Repost anytime if, as Geoff eluded, you can be more specific.

You are safe here.

TonyWK

[Toosmile]

Thank you for the replies.
I have had such an upheaval few days that writing this comes easier than I thought.
My husband told me he needs space. He is bored with life. He doesn't want to travel much anymore.
Some context behind that is I love travelling, I strive to plan our next trip, it keeps me sane.
Our life Monday to Friday is awake, breakfast, work, home, dinner, tv, bed. Generally work takes up 10 hours including travel.
We go out for dinner once a week, sometimes see a movie. I suffer from a disease that makes me chronically fatigued and I try to do more.
I understand the space thing, I'm overwhelming. I'm need, I'm heavily dependent on him. It's just my nature.
What I can't wrap my head around is this has been life for years and it's never been an issue that I've been made aware of. I feel like my world is crumbling. I'm already lonely. Now I'm afraid I'll lose everything.
We're coming up to our ninth year together. He tells me he loves me. I'm positive I'm a failure

[white knight]

Hi toosmile

Mmm, I'm hearing you. My first thought is he lacks variety in life and/or a number of goals.

Eg if you both work and every second Friday night you go to a restaurant then that luxury soon becomes part of the routine and loses its special intent.

If youve travelled overseas a lot then the same, different country same plane time etc.

So, what if, for example, one Friday night hubby returns home, you tell him you have a surprise for him. You board your car which has in the boot a picnic basket with sandwiches, champayne etc....and a 3 man tent for $40.

You previously looked up a nearby national park (yes they are even close to cities) and you spend one or two nights there. Nothing complicated.

Spontaneous activities help. But a relationship counselor would help much more.

TonyWK