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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Gaz67 Recently Seperated
  • replies: 6

I recently seperated from my wife of 29 years, I just fell out of love with her. We tried different things to rekindle it but it didn't work. I'm really struggling with it way more than I thought I would, I'm constantly breaking down, feel down & rea... View more

I recently seperated from my wife of 29 years, I just fell out of love with her. We tried different things to rekindle it but it didn't work. I'm really struggling with it way more than I thought I would, I'm constantly breaking down, feel down & really hate when I'm alone. We are currently still living in the same house as I can't afford to move out & niether can she so that is making it hard

BBUser38 I'm so lost and confused. I want to stay, he wants me to move on. What do I do???
  • replies: 2

So my depressing feelings are starting to impact my job, my relationship, my health. These feelings are ruining everything. But it's soon going to destroy the only relationship I have. My boyfriend of 3 years told me that he has not loved me since Au... View more

So my depressing feelings are starting to impact my job, my relationship, my health. These feelings are ruining everything. But it's soon going to destroy the only relationship I have. My boyfriend of 3 years told me that he has not loved me since August last year. Telling me that he has been trying to find a way to break up with me but he doesn't want the guilt of the pain it'll cause me. He says there's no way this relationship is going to work because we are two very different people trying to fit together. After crying and talking, he says that he'll stay with me and we can try to work it out but he has no hope of this happening. And I can't help feeling that if I was a stronger person, confident like I was when we first met, that he wouldn't stop loving me. It's all because I can't get out of this hole. And for the last week, I've been crying myself to sleep every night. Everything hurts, I'm angry, I'm devastated, and everything that I've felt since I lost myself is hitting me tenfold. I really just don't know what to do. It hurts him to fake a smile with me but he says he doesn't want to break up. That the love has changed. He no longer loves me like he did when we were first together. But he cares for me so much that he doesn't want to ruin my life. He says he is happy when I am happy... I'm so confused. He cares, but he doesn't love me. He has been trying to break up with me for a year but he doesn't want to break up with me. He keeps saying he is logical, and our relationship just doesn't work. But he tells my that he's holding me back, that he'd regret breaking up with me but he knows it'll be best for me. I love him so much that I'm being selfish and I want him to stay with me even though it hurts him. So do I really love him if I can't let him go when this relationship is hurting him. Or is it blind hope that if I finally find myself, that he'll come back to me and love me like before. But this is also his first long term relationship. Isn't it normal to fall in and out of love? Or am I too afraid to let him go because I have no one else. I've just moved to a different state. I'm a 3 day drive away from all my friends and family. I have a new job that I'm sucking at because I have zero confidence. The only person I have is my boyfriend. And he is everything to me. I love him so dearly. He was the man, I was suppose to spend the rest of my life with. Grrr, what do I do? Am I delusional, pathetic, or too attatched. Or all three. Please help

MP_Lost Struggling with a narcissistic husband
  • replies: 2

Dumb, b, moron, slow, stupid, stop playing the victim, f off, get out of my face, I’ll call your mum, you’re a slow learner, you’ll pay for this, you better apologise. I hear these things on a weekly basis, sometimes numerous times a day. The person ... View more

Dumb, b, moron, slow, stupid, stop playing the victim, f off, get out of my face, I’ll call your mum, you’re a slow learner, you’ll pay for this, you better apologise. I hear these things on a weekly basis, sometimes numerous times a day. The person that says these things is the person that’s meant to love and support me - my husband. The man I have been with for over 11 years. The things he says to me used to hurt and make me cry but for a long time it’s not what he says that makes me cry, it’s why I continue to stay. I’m starting to believe that maybe he’s right and the things he says is right, after all what person would subject them self to this over and over again. I don’t tell people that this goes on. To his friends and family he is wonderful and always there when they need him so how would they believe that he’s the complete opposite with me? I can’t continue to go on like this. I wake up every day wishing that I didn’t but I don’t know what to do to change it. I live in a remote part of the country with all of my family 1000’s of kms away. I have a full time job where I earn decent money but I have no savings because my husband gambles all the money away. We have no kids however I have two large dogs that are my entire world so I can’t just jump on a plane and go home because there’s no way I can leave them behind. I have decided to post to ask if anyone is please able to give me advice, or offer some glimpse of hope. I know that I cannot continue to stay with a gambling, alcoholic, narcissist but I don’t know how to leave.

vinnyboma how to cope with rejection from wife.
  • replies: 2

Rejection..... how to cope with it when it comes from someone you love very much?? I have been married for nine and a half years to my wife we have 2 children 9 and 5 years old. over the past 9 years we have had our ups and downs but what always come... View more

Rejection..... how to cope with it when it comes from someone you love very much?? I have been married for nine and a half years to my wife we have 2 children 9 and 5 years old. over the past 9 years we have had our ups and downs but what always comes up is intimacy and I am sure this has been brought up before on here. what is a normal sex drive?? is there such thing as a normal sex drive? if every one is different then how can one know what is normal? my sex drive is very different to my wife's I believe it is still the same as when I fist met her, ok maybe a little higher now and I think it should be after being with her for a long period just shows I still have the same last and mostly love for her right??. But the problem is this my wife and I know we have very different sex drives my wife's sex drive is hardly existent and this has been said by her. it has been very hard in the past and still very hard now to deal with this problem. I know what some people are thinking "she might be tired, do the house work", "make dinner", "put the kids to bed and rub her back" yes yes I know all of that and I already do that. I had asked my wife last night while rubbing her back if she could change anything about me what would it be and her reply was my sex drive so after all my dribble how do I lower my sex drive to make my wife happy to save our marriage?.

Booklover17 Please help - I need advice
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone So 2 nights ago my husband just told me that I make him feel like he can’t be himself around me because he is scared of my emotional reaction. I should say I do have anxiety so sometimes my reactions can be huge. Anyway, now I feel like a... View more

Hi everyone So 2 nights ago my husband just told me that I make him feel like he can’t be himself around me because he is scared of my emotional reaction. I should say I do have anxiety so sometimes my reactions can be huge. Anyway, now I feel like a complete psycho and I feel so bad and so upset and hurt. I had no idea he was feeling this way- everyday I have just trying to deal with my own anxiety and make it through the day and now he says (he didn’t use these words) but basically that I am a b****. I don’t know what to do anymore. What can I do?

ssvv24 Overweight boyfriend?
  • replies: 6

My boyfriend has gained 10+kg since being with me. Now his BMI says that he’s overweight and yet he doesn’t do anything to lose it. I feel upset bcos I feel as though he’s become complacent and entitled, that’s why he’s not motivated at all to at lea... View more

My boyfriend has gained 10+kg since being with me. Now his BMI says that he’s overweight and yet he doesn’t do anything to lose it. I feel upset bcos I feel as though he’s become complacent and entitled, that’s why he’s not motivated at all to at least watch what he eats. I rly think he’s let loose and I feel like it’s unfair because I always dress my best and watch what I eat but all he does is wear sweatpants when we’re out, play games and binge eat. He even shrugs off the comments friends make on his appearance due to weight gain. I know I sound shallow but I just wish he’d at least be mindful of how much he’s eating. I’m not sure how I can bring this up anymore. I don’t want to be the nagging gf who says “watch what you eat “and “we should exercise together”.

Gluey A potential cheating scare has left me unable to trust my new boyfriend whom I adore
  • replies: 3

Before i start, I have no idea if any of these things are red flags since I'm 19 so bare with my story. For some context, I (19) have been with my boyfriend (21) for just over a month, but we hadn't been seeing each other for very long (about a week)... View more

Before i start, I have no idea if any of these things are red flags since I'm 19 so bare with my story. For some context, I (19) have been with my boyfriend (21) for just over a month, but we hadn't been seeing each other for very long (about a week) before he asked me to be with him exclusively. He also confessed to falling in love with me within two weeks of knowing me (weird or not??). I returned the gesture a little bit later. It didn't take long for me to get attached as he's a great guy who loves making sure I'm happy and getting what I deserve from him. He is a bit of a jokester who likes teasing but i enjoy his humour as its similar to my own. He's extremely supportive when I'm upset about life and never pressures me to tell him anything I'm not comfortable with yet. We've spent more nights together than apart since he loves having me around all the time at his place, he's even told me multiple times that i should just move in or move more of my stuff there so i don't have to go back and forth. From what I've gathered, he's been in one long term relationship 2 years ago with a girl who abused him a lot and slept around a lot with random girls when he was single. About a week or two in, I tried stalking him on social media where I found another girl he dated for 6 monthish that he never mentioned. When I asked he told me she was "just some girl he was seeing" and that he didn't even know his instagram account was still accessible since he thought he deleted it... he promptly made sure it was deleted for real afterwards. He doesn't use fb either since its old and he hasn't noticed my friend request. His roommate is an old friend that I haven't been able to get along with due to his drunken behaviour (pulled a prank that crossed a line at one point) and I can't tell if he accepts me or is ok with me living at their place all the time. Under a week ago I found another girls bra on the floor amongst a whole heap of other shit. When I approached him about it he seemed genuinely confused and told me he had no idea what it is or who it belonged to and that he's genuinely sorry that this has hurt me (he apparently was cheated on by the ex long term girlfriend). His reaction and the fact that he was sick that week (I was with him while sick too) make me believe him but whenever I'm alone I find myself worrying about where he is or if he is lying to me. My theory is his roommate planted it. Im not sure what is going on in my head or if I should believe him.

Lizer Trust your partner
  • replies: 2

Hi guys just wondering how to trust your partner / husband after he’s been cheating on you with prostitues and short term affairs . please help don’t know what to do

Hi guys just wondering how to trust your partner / husband after he’s been cheating on you with prostitues and short term affairs . please help don’t know what to do

So_Lonely Never alone always lonely
  • replies: 6

I have never felt so alone and worthless in my life. Almost 40 with 4 kids 18,14 and two year old twins. I have no friends in this place I have called my home for 6 years. My parents live 45 minutes away and have watched the twins for me twice for 12... View more

I have never felt so alone and worthless in my life. Almost 40 with 4 kids 18,14 and two year old twins. I have no friends in this place I have called my home for 6 years. My parents live 45 minutes away and have watched the twins for me twice for 12 hours. My 18 year old is supportive at times but lazy. My 14 year old plugs into his game and back chats me constantly. My almost 2 year old twin boys don't sleep and when they do I am cooking, cleaning, mowing lawns or doing stuff for the teenagers. I am always going on 4 to 5 hours sleep with people wanting and needing me constantly. So why is it i cry myself to sleep every night wondering why no one is here for me?

Sdmara Words say one thing actions opposite
  • replies: 1

Feel like I am loosing sense of what's real or not. His words says he wants to make the marriage work but the repeated hurtful behaviour still happens. Things are getting worse every day as if I mention anything he would say I zoned out cause I heard... View more

Feel like I am loosing sense of what's real or not. His words says he wants to make the marriage work but the repeated hurtful behaviour still happens. Things are getting worse every day as if I mention anything he would say I zoned out cause I heard it too many times. Then of course blames me cause I am the readon he gets angry and says hurtful things. If I know when to stop things would be ok.i don't know. I just don't know. Feel worthless and no joy anymore.