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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Jarel I don't know whether to scream or cry
  • replies: 8

So im due to go overseas alone in 7 days for a trip I have been looking forward to because everything at home has fallen apart. My sister is not talking to me and we live in the same house, says when I come but we are to look at selling. My mum has s... View more

So im due to go overseas alone in 7 days for a trip I have been looking forward to because everything at home has fallen apart. My sister is not talking to me and we live in the same house, says when I come but we are to look at selling. My mum has severe depression and on top of that Motor Neurons disease but refuses to seek help and has caused so much unneccesary stress and pain. She lies and manipulates but I cant let her go as she is my mum and she is sick but this has now gotten to stage where I am going to break.. I cannot do this shit anymore. What about me, my sanity! All I wanted to do was go have some fun forget about everything and now this

Karenwill55 Complicated break up
  • replies: 2

My boyfriend and I been together for 12 years. He has major depression all thought out his life I have Bipolar Disorder. I have a 16 years old son Who has depression due to his step dad In the relationship my boyfriend always talked about The girls a... View more

My boyfriend and I been together for 12 years. He has major depression all thought out his life I have Bipolar Disorder. I have a 16 years old son Who has depression due to his step dad In the relationship my boyfriend always talked about The girls at his work wanting to go to there place And stay the night. Plus he would always looked at Porn the type of porn he looks at is disgusting His very attached to his oldest sister which they are Very close I couldn't stand. My boyfriend is 57 and I'm 38. He sees his sister as a mother which I still don't like I was always very jealous of there bond. About a month Ago we broke up well I told him we are breaking up He told his sister like always tells her everything about our fights She is very upset with me. She blames me for everything Its been a month and I still have his furniture, his mothers engagement Ring and wedding ring, his mothers items. His mother past away 7 years ago. He keeps coming over all the time. My son sees him as his dad My boyfriend isn't his real dad of course. I couldn't stand it any longer Due to the fact what he had done. I still love him. I drive him to his appointments to See his psychiatrist that's 1 hour away every fortnight. He still wants me to bake him cakes and biscuits Plus have him over once a fortnight for dinner which I wanted to do. I take him out once a month. Does this sound like a break up to you. I don't know what it is. Very confusing. I have tried to talk to him but he tells me not to Stress him out and that he doesn't want to talk about it.

Coally I haven't had a friend in almost a decade
  • replies: 3

Hi Reader, I am in my early twenties and haven't had a friend in almost 10 years. I am very familiar with loneliness and have had my fair share of it. These days I don't feel loneliness too much, I have accepted that I may live the rest of my life wi... View more

Hi Reader, I am in my early twenties and haven't had a friend in almost 10 years. I am very familiar with loneliness and have had my fair share of it. These days I don't feel loneliness too much, I have accepted that I may live the rest of my life without a friend. Acquaintances are all I have ever made for the last few years. I would like to think there is at least one person in the world I would be able to create a lasting connection with. I'd like to make one genuine friend in the next few years or so but I don't know where to start. It feels like people have already created their friendship circles and left no place vacant. I find it incredibly hard to trust people, even my family. The closest thing I have to a friend is myself, any issues I have ever had has been left to my little brain, but I like the idea of having someone to talk to every now and then. I don't stay anywhere longer than I need to be, after work or study I just head home and either study more or play video games which keep me occupied until the next day. I am neither happy or sad, I don't know how else to describe the feeling I have the majority of the time. I'd like to know if there is anyone who can relate, and possibly have advice on making a friend. Thanks for reading

anonymous8038 Attention seeking boyfriend, help
  • replies: 5

My long term boyfriend has problems with other women. It started with him wanting to be with and chasing another taken girl while we were together, he ended that after her boyfriend found out. He has always gotten secret attention from other girls on... View more

My long term boyfriend has problems with other women. It started with him wanting to be with and chasing another taken girl while we were together, he ended that after her boyfriend found out. He has always gotten secret attention from other girls on social media, like Snapchat and dms on facebook and Instagram. He has stopped now because I told him that he can have the attention from them, but he can’t have me as well. Now it is more in person. He always tries to make eye contact with girls to get their attention and shows off a lot when there are other girls around. He acts super flirty. He doesn’t see it like that but many of my friends have commented on the fact that they’ve noticed it too and that he has flirted with them as well, they feel extremely uncomfortable about it. He is still doing this to most girls that he sees, whether I am with him or not. My self esteem is at the lowest it’s ever been and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m not good enough. How do I help him? How do I help myself? What should I do in this situation? Please help any advice would be really appreciated

kek Housemate is making me feel mean towards her and I don't like how I react around her
  • replies: 3

Hi, I have a housemate who is frustrating to be around and I find myself getting really passive aggressive towards her. I don't like how I react to her and she makes me feel like a horrible person because I'm so mean to her and it really gets me down... View more

Hi, I have a housemate who is frustrating to be around and I find myself getting really passive aggressive towards her. I don't like how I react to her and she makes me feel like a horrible person because I'm so mean to her and it really gets me down. I'm not sure what it is about her that brings this out in me. I want to go home to relax but I find myself getting more tense when she is home. I have been living with her for almost 2 years now. I have a FIFO job so I'm not always at home. Over the past two years I have had two other housemates come and go. They have said independently and without any prompting from me that they feel like they are being mean to her and don't like how they respond. So I don't think that I am 100% the problem in this relationship. She's been bullied most of her life from what she said and it sounds like her family is not very supportive either because she says they constantly cut her down. I can see the growth in her since she's moved in and she is a lot easier to live with now but it's still hard and draining. She thinks everyone is always cutting her down and judging her. I can't explain it and I feel horrible saying it but it is so easy to do. She is very reliant on other people opinion and doesn't seem to help herself. I am really struggling at work and desperately need to quit my job and have a career change for my own mental health. But to do that I need to rent out my other spare room to pay the mortgage. Right now my 2nd housemate is planning on moving out because she can't live with her anymore. It's making for a very tense household. I'm not sure how to approach her and ask her to leave. She will take it really personally and will be devastated, thinking no one likes her. She was a friend (not super close) before she moved in so will be really hurt and I will continue to see her afterwards in my friendship group. She will also probably move back in with her parents which will not help her self esteem at all and I don't want to be responsible for that. I feel like I can't kick her out because I'm the mean one not her. But my other friends can't live with her so am I justified in wanting her to leave? How do I ask her to leave? She will know it's because I don't want to be around her because I'm not going to ask the other housemate to leave. I feel horrible about it and it is making me feel sick. I really need to quit my job but I can't do it while she is living with me. Any advice?

Shockwave Could somebody please give me a name for this kind of person.
  • replies: 8

Often complains they are not being treated with respect or that others are rude to them. Will fly off the handle at the most minor of problems, or jump down another's throat when asked a basic question as if to convey a message to the effect of "don'... View more

Often complains they are not being treated with respect or that others are rude to them. Will fly off the handle at the most minor of problems, or jump down another's throat when asked a basic question as if to convey a message to the effect of "don't disturb me" Even if a problem is an accident (like, for example, dropping a dinner plate on the kitchen floor and breaking it) the person will be annoyed and make a fuss as if you dropped it on purpose. Not making an effort to get on with their partners family and/ or friends to the point they will not attend important family events and you end up having to go alone. Will run off after a disagreement and not talk to their partner , for sometimes for up to a week or more !. When asked are you ok, their response is usually "I'm fine, I just need my space" When told about an issue you're facing with them, rather than take it on board, they will almost always come back with a similar thing that you've done to them. Like they have a pressing need to get even rather than deal with the issue raised. Complains that you have a compulsive obsessive disorder for a certain life activity yet they also do it, probably more often than you do . For example, wife complains to husband that he is on his smart phone far too often but wife is the same and will often go to the extreme of picking up her phone and writing a text message while in the middle of eating a meal at a restaurant.

missmyman My man is depressed and has stopped communication
  • replies: 11

I've been seeing the most incredible man. We have plans for him to move in with my kids & I. He had depression in the past and is on medication. He got 2 serious illnesses within 3 weeks and I suspect the heavy medication to help him stopped the anti... View more

I've been seeing the most incredible man. We have plans for him to move in with my kids & I. He had depression in the past and is on medication. He got 2 serious illnesses within 3 weeks and I suspect the heavy medication to help him stopped the antidepressants being helpful with his depression. His messages and contact started to lesson. He became silent and unresponsive for 2 weeks. He had asked me to please not stress that we are ok & he loves me. I continued to gently message him every few days, letting him know I'm here, I love him, I'm going nowhere. He's been cheated on by previous partners. After 2 weeks he sent me a message saying he missed me too, he was seeking professional help, my messages had helped him and he was sorry, that he hoped to see me the next weekend. I haven't heard from him since, it's been 2 & 1/2 weeks. I don't think he will self harm, I just think he's dealing with this the best he can (by himself and seeking professional treatment - which I'm grateful he does). My question is, I don't want to harass him, but, I don't want him to feel abandoned either. I love & miss him so much and there's been no indication he wants to break up, just I guess he needs to do this alone. I've been reaching out between every 2-4 days, I mainly text, but, did call & leave a voicemail & also sent him a song. Those who shut down and throw themselves into work, how long do you think he's likely to take to start responding to me again? He lives alone & his family and friends are interstate, we are over an hour apart from each other & I don't want to just turn up on his doorstep & freak him out. I have mild anxiety and the drop in communication is hard for me as I just want to be there for him & help. If you are someone who pushes away those you love, do you appreciate messages of love & support, should I expect he will eventually find his way back to me?

Aisha181 Depressed partner needs space/broke up with me?!
  • replies: 1

I don’t know what to do. We are both 29 and been together for over a year. I thought we were so happy together but over the last two months we have had one minor issue which I couldn’t seem to resolve with him. Every time I tried to bring it up he wo... View more

I don’t know what to do. We are both 29 and been together for over a year. I thought we were so happy together but over the last two months we have had one minor issue which I couldn’t seem to resolve with him. Every time I tried to bring it up he would shut down and cry/hyperventilate/get angry. Then I would end up comforting him but he wouldn’t tell me a thing. He had been talking about the future with me and giving me a key to his place just a week before he ended it. Then two nights before we were supposed to go away, he did something that crossed my boundaries(so obviously) We had our first proper fight. The next night he came over a blubbering mess and pretty much ended it. He was digging for problems and making out like I was this person that I’m not. He said he can’t keep seeing a psych(first time I’d heard about it) he could barely stand he was that upset. He ended up running out on me as he couldn’t handle it. I was so distraught I was left wailing in the corridor of my apartment. He came over last night for a chat. He looked terrible. He hugged me so tight. He said he knows I love him to bits. I said I want to do it with you. I want to be RIGHT beside you. I held his hand and he pushed his face into mine. Hes had it for over 15 yrs. He refuses medication because it only masks the problem?! I guess something really dark has happened to him when he was young. He won’t talk about it though. He’s such a private person and only one person knows about how much he suffers. He’s been hiding it for YEARS. He tried to explain it to me.. that he can’t see colours.. all he sees is darkness. He can barely get himself out of bed to eat breakfast. He said he needs a break from everything. I understood him. But I could tell he didn’t want to tell me where I stood. I got up and asked if he needed space from me and he nodded. He told me he had been sleeping on my pillow all week. I asked why and he said he didn’t know. I asked him if he still loved me. He said he thinks he does but he doesn’t know because he can’t feel anything. He just cried and I hugged him and said he has way too much to live for. He was so sad and looked so hopeless. We hugged and cried for about 10 minutes. I am so broken for him. I know deep down he loves me dearly. I just know. It worries me that no one knows and he’s determined to keep it to himself. I told him I don’t ever want to lose him from my life and that I am here. I’ll give him space but am I supposed to check in with him?

willieollie Partner wants kids now, I want kids later
  • replies: 5

Hello.. I'm in a very confused state. My partner and I are in our early 30s.. I understand that her biological clock is ticking, I completely understand it. She wants kids very soon, in the next few months. I'm feeling like I'd be happy to try for a ... View more

Hello.. I'm in a very confused state. My partner and I are in our early 30s.. I understand that her biological clock is ticking, I completely understand it. She wants kids very soon, in the next few months. I'm feeling like I'd be happy to try for a baby by the end of 2020 (just for personal reasons). My partner has responded by stating that she understands my point of view and doesn't want to pressure me into having a child earlier than I want. Immediately afterwards she says that she's going to go and find a sperm donor because I dont want a baby just now. My reaction was feeling hurt and angry, but I've composed myself and now I just feel numb and confused, whether I have the right to feel angry or hurt, or if it's all just my fault and I need to respond to this by agreeing to have a baby soon. The hurt and anger comes from me feeling like she's going to have a baby with someone else while still with me. I know that's not how it actually is.. but it's just the feeling I have. Can someone please give their thoughts on this situation? I have no clue how I should react.

ssvv24 Feeling trapped in my relationship. Is it salvageable?
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I’m really stuck right now... i feel conflicted with my feelings because I’ve been in a relationship for almost two years now and for the past couple of months, I’ve felt a loss of attraction and I think I’ve fallen out of love with my partne... View more

Hi all, I’m really stuck right now... i feel conflicted with my feelings because I’ve been in a relationship for almost two years now and for the past couple of months, I’ve felt a loss of attraction and I think I’ve fallen out of love with my partner. I feel conflicted because I don’t know whether I should put effort into fixing our relationship or breaking it off. I did try a week ago to talk it out with my partner but they ended up wanting to fix things and they still love me so I didn’t have the heart to break up with her/him. I didn’t have the courage to tell him/her I didn’t feel like I loved them anymore either. I just said I was unhappy in the relationship, bored, tired and losing attraction due to certain things. In the pit of my stomach, I felt like I wasn’t happy with my decision to continue our relationship but I felt guilty as they’ve never truly wronged me and have been quite patient and loving. He/she has never abused me and we’ve never had terrible fights where we’d insult each other, which is partly why I thought I owed them a chance because it felt as though I didn’t have a good reason to end things.I thought at least I gave them a chance to try to mend things and hopefully I’d somehow love them again but I just feel suffocated and trapped. I think I’m just staying out of guilt because my partner is clearly very much in love with me but I don’t feel the same... please help me. I feel miserable and tired of faking still being in love with them. How can I say how I truly feel in the most gentle way possible? Or should I give my relationship two weeks to see if it’s still salvageable?