Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

PJJzippy Feeling trapped
  • replies: 3

Hi guys, im new to BB so please bear with me and my explanations. I'm currently in a relationship that started off rocky about 6 years ago, breaking up twice and dating someone in the middle during a time of seperation, and lately have been feeling d... View more

Hi guys, im new to BB so please bear with me and my explanations. I'm currently in a relationship that started off rocky about 6 years ago, breaking up twice and dating someone in the middle during a time of seperation, and lately have been feeling distant like ive completely removed myself from the relationship. We did long distance for 4 years and that was a very rocky time and moved in together the end of 2017 and started out fine but right now im feeling over encumbered. My partner has never cheated or anything like that so she is not to blame but i am finding it hard to be physical and only able to handle being close for small periods of time. Now me feeling like a jerk, i have had thoughts of other women which can really just set me into a place where i want to be left alone and if i am bothered i lash out. I am a bit of a loner, i like to do things by myself and im fine with that but i don't completely isolate myself and when she goes to visit her family i really enjoy the feeling of being alone again. I was out recently having a few drinks with friends, nothing wild and i felt so light, happy and free to be out alone to the point I did not want to go back home. I do feel like a real jerk but i feel so trapped and held down. My partner is not a bad person, she is lovely, caring and overall a great person. Am I the only one who goes through this? I haven't really been "single" since i was 16 going from relationship to relationship with very little time in between.

Newmum123 Relationship troubles
  • replies: 3

Hi, first time posting. I am having some troubles in my relationship, there seems to be no romance anymore which has then lead to further issues where we just end up always being grumpy with each other and not always getting along the way we use to. ... View more

Hi, first time posting. I am having some troubles in my relationship, there seems to be no romance anymore which has then lead to further issues where we just end up always being grumpy with each other and not always getting along the way we use to. I feel as though its mainly my fault as im always a negative thinker and just somehow always manage to talk myself out of anything, i have tried to change the way i think but its just so difficult to change or to know where to start. I feel as though our relationship is starting to fall apart and that is the last thing i want.

crazylion Friends contact and communication
  • replies: 2

Hi All, I have a few friends/acquintances who never or very rarely contact me. I'm someone who craves regular contact and communication with friends. Further to this, I don't make friends easily and people don't approach me to be friends. I also belo... View more

Hi All, I have a few friends/acquintances who never or very rarely contact me. I'm someone who craves regular contact and communication with friends. Further to this, I don't make friends easily and people don't approach me to be friends. I also belong to a church where there is lacking fellowship / personal contact but due to beliefs I feel this is where I should be. I wonder if others had any thoughts, specifically men or those who work with / minister to men. Is this normal for Men? I'm sick of the excuse of "everyone is busy" and it drives me crazy! I realise people ARE busy and might have different expectations/priorities, I just wonder if this is normal? Do I have high and unrealistic expectations? Am I expecting too much from others? Cheers

sister_moon My 8 year old suffering anxiety/ sleep problems
  • replies: 12

Hi All, Was just wondering if there are others out there who have children with anxiety and sleep problems and wanting any ideas or resources that might help. We are on a waiting list to see a child psychologist but will be a 3 month wait. As a full ... View more

Hi All, Was just wondering if there are others out there who have children with anxiety and sleep problems and wanting any ideas or resources that might help. We are on a waiting list to see a child psychologist but will be a 3 month wait. As a full time single parent with very limited support I am finding it difficult to try and support and guide them through these issuse on my own. We are both just so tired. thanks

Teej97 Advise regarding loneliness is useless
  • replies: 11

Why is it that articles and blogs about dealing with loneliness always advise talking to your friends or your partner? If I had friends or a partner I wouldn't be this lonely. These articles make me want to scream.

Why is it that articles and blogs about dealing with loneliness always advise talking to your friends or your partner? If I had friends or a partner I wouldn't be this lonely. These articles make me want to scream.

Evie82 Need advice please
  • replies: 7

Hi desperately need advice.... I found out last week that I'm pregnant, completely unplanned. I'm petrified to tell my husband. We already have 4 children & are stretched financially & our life is completely chaotic... I know he'll think I've done th... View more

Hi desperately need advice.... I found out last week that I'm pregnant, completely unplanned. I'm petrified to tell my husband. We already have 4 children & are stretched financially & our life is completely chaotic... I know he'll think I've done this deliberately because I love babies & pregnancy. I just feel so foolish I can't believe it is real. I've gone into denial and haven't spoken to a soul about it. I know if I tell my husband he won't even want to discuss it, there will be no option other than abortion... I've always been pro choice but now that it's me in those shoes I don't think I can. I feel physically ill at the thought of it all. I know all our friends and family would think we are stupid to even consider it a 5th child. I even think I'm stupid to consider it. My husband isn't a naturally good father- his impatient & gets overwhelmed by the noise and mess already. He is a decent man but is emotionally cold and distant. We don't talk feelings & I just feel so alone... Would love any advice I feel like I'm drowning

skinnytony Separating and living together (kinda)
  • replies: 5

Ok this is my first post. My wife pulled the plug on our marriage on my first day on a new job. We’ve had issues (mainly that we rushed into marriage and others) so it isn't out of the blue but this time feels real. It’s been pretty rough because she... View more

Ok this is my first post. My wife pulled the plug on our marriage on my first day on a new job. We’ve had issues (mainly that we rushed into marriage and others) so it isn't out of the blue but this time feels real. It’s been pretty rough because she’s away at a festival (working) where she parties every night (anxiety says: what else?) and I’m at home looking after our small child/working/stressing. She’s away for a month but when she gets back we will most probably live together while we figure out logistics. I’ve realised that I’ve been emotionally closed off – part of a faulty coping mechanism – because of the issues we’ve been having. We’ve been off and on but I believe recently she’s only said we should be together because of convenience. She refused to see a marriage councillor together and blamed me for the problems in our relationship. I’m pretty sure it’s a dynamic where we both play a part and that this time could be a fruitful time where we learn and grow emotionally learning new tools such as communication etc. I didn’t want to leave the relationship without fighting for it but I’ve accepted that she wants to leave and I’m not going to beg to be together. Last time we temporality separated under same roof it wasn’t good, she ended up seeing other people (her choice) and was sneaky about it (going out to go shopping for 4 hours etc). Was traumatic. We ended up reconciling though but I guess it was a bit of a sham. It’s a stressful time now, she’ll return soon from the partying. I don’t have a friendship network around me which is why I’m here I guess. I've come to realise the importance of telling people what's going on. It's hard to make new friends when there's so much chaos. I'm going to see a shrink (have done in the past).... She has a good friendship network. We’ve talked about it and she’s said she’s not going to see other people until we sort everything out but she’s away at a festival and I’m not sure I can trust her and she might feel like that she doesn’t want to tell me that she’s seeing other people because we have to work out everything and live together for a while on her return. I want her and myself to be happy and also what's best for our child. Is the expectation that she doesn’t see other people realistic? Should we just see other people? Or at least try to. Is there anything I should consider? Any advice would be appreciated.

DaisyD Relationship Anxiety
  • replies: 17

Hi there everyone, I am struggling at the moment. "My rock" has stepped away from our relationship/friendship saying he can't have me in his life, at least not now. I am struggling to find answers, he is suffering from a huge change in his life and I... View more

Hi there everyone, I am struggling at the moment. "My rock" has stepped away from our relationship/friendship saying he can't have me in his life, at least not now. I am struggling to find answers, he is suffering from a huge change in his life and I just want to help him like he has helped me so many times. I feel so empty, can't stop crying, rehashing everything over and over. He is trying to rebalance and refocus. We don't have any communication or contact because he needs to work on him and I need to work on me together with my study. I have support with a psychologist, a support group and GP. I have a few girlfriends but they are getting sick of hearing about it. Thank god we have stayed friends, I couldn't stand it if I didn't have that, and I would rather have friendship than be enemies. I am trying so hard to focus on my study but finding it so hard. Last year I started studying nursing that he encouraged me to do and he was so supportive and positive, my inspiration and kicking me up the backside when I wanted to quit. He said I don't need to hold his hand anymore because he believes in me to be strong and positive. We have had breaks before but this one I am finding so difficult. Last year we had a break and I was able to throw myself into my study and get through it. Probably because I could text him and tell him the feedback I was getting. He would always reply with "that is awesome/epic babe, don't give up, you've got this". I feel that he feels that he has failed me by not being in the position or mindset to give me what I deserve, need and want. He has also said that he feels that he failed his ex-wife as a partner and I know he feels that he has failed his beautiful children. I just want to be able to tell him that he hasn't failed me. I have been journalling and alot of what I write to him has been full of anger and then last night I didn't feel like that, I asked the universe to look after "my rock" and to bring him back to me. I am not going to label it as a break up. I think he is just so depressed he just couldn't help me with my life at the moment. I am trying so hard to be positive, each day is a challenge. I am still looking at "my big picture" and I can still see it clearly which of course includes him. I have told him how much I love him, care about him. why does it hurt so much this time?

Kayla19 Any advice is greatly appriciated!!!
  • replies: 2

My partner & I have been together for 7yrs now. We both still live at our parents (We're 21). My bfs parents are highly religious. As of 2 wks ago, his parents brought home a 19y.o. single female from the church,who is a complete stranger, to stay wi... View more

My partner & I have been together for 7yrs now. We both still live at our parents (We're 21). My bfs parents are highly religious. As of 2 wks ago, his parents brought home a 19y.o. single female from the church,who is a complete stranger, to stay with them for the next 4 mnths+. (this girl is going through a bit of a rough trot,& I do feel bad) but, for someone going through a really rough time, she's over the top out-going & is getting really comfortable around my bf, which I'm not happy about. I do trust my partner 100%, I just don't trust this female stranger that's living under the same roof as him. My anxiety is getting the better of me, so I've been feeling extremely overwhelmed & feeling really depressed. When I get in the car to leave his is when the water works normally start, otherwise when ever I'm alone at mine is also when the tears, feeling anxious & depressed normally kicks in. My partner & I have been fighting for 2 wks strait. most of the fights are about my random crying fits or about him not understanding how I'm thinking & feeling about this entire situation, which then escalates because he's getting frustrated with my 'BS' as he says. my thoughts are - his parents can invite a female to live with them (without a heads up to anyone - but I get it, it's their house), who walks around in provocative clothing, and that's fine to them. BUT, if things get worse between my partner & I because of their decision to have her there, & we decide to move out to ease the pressure, they'll crucify us as it's against the rules within the bible. there was an incident where my bfs Mum forced me to eat my dinner after work (at 9:30PM) with this girl, having been tired & headachey after a bad shift, I wasn't feeling up to socializing, so I was naturally quiet. this girl turned to his mum & told her that I said I hate her,(which is a complete lie) as I don't hate this girl directly, nor do I blame her. I'm more so resenting my bfs parents, as they've made it perfectly clear (through a sms), this girls emotions and feelings is all that matters, no one elses aswell as creating this stress for my bf & I. I literally don't know how to handle this situation or how to think/feel! I've asked other females of various ages from 18-49 their opinion and all have said apart from the crying fits, I'm handling it better than they would. It's really hard knowing when I leave, there's another girl there with him, as after 7 yrs together it should really be me..

Felicia_C Partner with BPD Broke up with me will she come back?
  • replies: 1

I met my now ex almost 10 years ago now. I 100% believe she is my soulmate. We started dating in 2013. I could not have been happier this entire time. We went through a lot together being a same sex couple we came out together. We moved into an apart... View more

I met my now ex almost 10 years ago now. I 100% believe she is my soulmate. We started dating in 2013. I could not have been happier this entire time. We went through a lot together being a same sex couple we came out together. We moved into an apartment and adopted a cat together. We would have usual fights but nothing major. sorted it out within the day. Last year in September we went on a holiday . During this time she proposed to me. (She Wanted to do it back in January) I then proposed to her 2 weeks later at one of our favorite spots. Now it starts going south. we went to a wedding expo in October and she wasn’t engaged in this very much. (Of course I thought it was just usual wedding jitters) we went back to my parents house and she said she had to go home and do work (later I found out she went to a friends house) She started staying at work late filling her time up with other things instead of time with me. I approached her on this and she got upset I was holding her back from doing things she wanted. I started to get very down on myself and one day looked through her messages (hate myself for this and know it is completely wrong) she had been talking to her friends from work saying she wanted to die, self harm, bulemia etc. (I knew all of this had happened in the past but didn’t know it had come back again... not that it ever goes away I guess) I then found out that she was attracted to one of these girls which I later confronted her about and she said it was just she liked her look (still makes me feel shit) she eventually said she didn’t tell me about all her negative feelings of herself and actions bevhase she didn’t want me to be ashamed of her. early December she decided she was going to go to Japan with her family after we had everything planned. I didn’t mind so much she went but I spoke to her (argued) that the lack of communication about it with me hurt. While she was away there wasn’t a lot of communication but she was constantly online on Facebook at the same time of this girl. we spoke one night on the phone and I asked are you breaking up with me and I just knew. She came home and it was done. I Moved out and took my things. We tried therapy and had a good run for a week. I found out she slept with a guy and at the next session she did not care if she ever saw me again. She was diagnosed with bpd last week and I just want to know if I have any chance of her coming back. I love her so much and I know we should be together.