Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Matchy69 feeling helpless
  • replies: 35

I have met a girl who i have fallen madly in love with.She replied to an add of mine.The problem is she is married and in a marriage that she dosnt want to be in and says wants to leave her cheating husband but is to scared to.I cant stop thinking ab... View more

I have met a girl who i have fallen madly in love with.She replied to an add of mine.The problem is she is married and in a marriage that she dosnt want to be in and says wants to leave her cheating husband but is to scared to.I cant stop thinking about this girl and cant do anything i just spend my days and night thinking about her and just crying all the time for her.I dont know what to do.

Herbygal where do I start
  • replies: 13

not sure where to post this thread it's all foreign to me, I've been with my partner for 40 years the last 10 have been unbearable dealing with my husband's depression. I've been verbally abused many many times, physically abused and have had to call... View more

not sure where to post this thread it's all foreign to me, I've been with my partner for 40 years the last 10 have been unbearable dealing with my husband's depression. I've been verbally abused many many times, physically abused and have had to call the police, I know I have been living in hope that some miracle will h a open and he will go back to who he was before all this, I know he loves his family, grandkids and me, he is getting treatment that is not helping, I feel like I am drowning now even though I love him so much, I'm scared of him but I know he is so unwell, I'm lost to know what to do. I'm so exhausted. I'm crying all the time now. i don't know how to start again by myself at my age, it's so messed up.

Bluebell1 Is feeling numb a part of depression?
  • replies: 4

I’ve been recently diagnosed with depression but I think I’ve had it for a few years due to several bad relationships and family circumstances i have been with my current partner for 14months and I just feel numb I don’t have much love towards him at... View more

I’ve been recently diagnosed with depression but I think I’ve had it for a few years due to several bad relationships and family circumstances i have been with my current partner for 14months and I just feel numb I don’t have much love towards him at all I don’t get excited about things or miss him and I get angry easily could this be the depression?

Cbk Want to separate from my husband
  • replies: 4

Hi,I want to separate from my husband. I feel he is floundering and not supporting me or our family but thinks everything is just fine. We are in extreme financial distress- he lost his job in April and he makes little effort to find work other than ... View more

Hi,I want to separate from my husband. I feel he is floundering and not supporting me or our family but thinks everything is just fine. We are in extreme financial distress- he lost his job in April and he makes little effort to find work other than his first choice of jobs. He’s had a few interviews and had no luck. He said he would look at other types of work like cleaning but has done nothing. This has happened before and this is why we have so much debt. All our bills are in my name and it affects my credit rating as we are unable to pay them. He is irresponsible with money. He spent over $1000 this week when I was away for work. He won’t give any explanation for it. He does little to help at home. I work full time yet do all the housework, shopping and cooking and take our child to school Rachel day while he sleeps in. He has had depression and has chronic back pain. We are both recovering alcoholics for many years. I attend 12 step meetings he no longer does and won’t. It’s a shame as he would receive so much support. He won’t communicate like an adult with me. I’ve had enough. I want him to leave but we have no money and he has nowhere to go. What do I do to get him to realise I’m done and I want him to leave? Where could he even go? We have no family where we live and he has no close friends he could stay with.

Mummaofboys Seperated and Lost
  • replies: 4

Hi, my husband and I seperated about 8 months ago, originally just for a break as we were fighting a lot. With have 3 small boys aged between 7 & 2. While he has not been living here with have still been spending lots of time together as a family and... View more

Hi, my husband and I seperated about 8 months ago, originally just for a break as we were fighting a lot. With have 3 small boys aged between 7 & 2. While he has not been living here with have still been spending lots of time together as a family and he comes over most afternoons for a few hours to spend with the kids. We never really discussed what was happening with us as we both just needed the space. But a about a month ago he told me that just wants us to be friends now and he is going to start seeing other people. This has left me completely lost and feeling as though I need to fight to try and get my family back together. I still love him and especially want us to be a family again. I have been quiet emotional and he just tells me to get over it. Some days he will say that he doesn’t want me in his life anymore at all and others he will ring me multiple times to talk about his day and still spends time with us together but only when it suits him. I guess I just don’t know if I should keep holding on and trying to get him back or to let him go. And if I should let him go, how?? Thank you for reading.

Agent79 Issues with single life, feel time is running out.
  • replies: 2

I am a 23 year old man with no experience in the dating game. I want to outline some things which I feel are making me worry that time is running out. -I am currently unemployed but studying Business at uni, I feel the reason I am holding back is bec... View more

I am a 23 year old man with no experience in the dating game. I want to outline some things which I feel are making me worry that time is running out. -I am currently unemployed but studying Business at uni, I feel the reason I am holding back is because I would prefer to be employed before I start finding someone. To me, if I meet a woman and she asks what I do for a living, saying what I am currently doing is a massive turn-off. -I am on the heavy side but am working on improving my physical health. The problem is, it is a long road to go, but I refuse to quit. - Dating sites are terrible to start conversations. You can have the best funny pick-up lines in the world but the response is "hahaha" This post may look very "incel"-like, but I am certain I am not one. I know that I am the chosen one to fix all of my issues and it is all up to me to fix them. Sadly, I feel that there is a cut off time for dating, "if you are still single by the time you are 25, buy some Phillippino mail order bride you miserable tool." Is there any clear indication to know that you are making progress to get yourself noticed by the ladies or do you just go with cheapest option?

teenager Estranged, Elderly and Lonely
  • replies: 2

I am 82 and my wife 7 years younger. Prior to last Christmas my wife had a commenced an affair with a guy from our area which he broke off shortly after New Year. On New Years Day my wife told they were going away with each other. We have I feel grow... View more

I am 82 and my wife 7 years younger. Prior to last Christmas my wife had a commenced an affair with a guy from our area which he broke off shortly after New Year. On New Years Day my wife told they were going away with each other. We have I feel grown away from each other somewhat since but I do not want this. I love this lady eeply. We have been married 24 years. A second marriage for both of us. We are both in reasonable health although we have not been sexually active for some 15 years. 4 months ago my wife decided she wanted to trial a separation but spends as much time in our neighbourhood as she does away. I have tried to do everything I could to help her in many ways like taking her to and from hospital for removal and replacing of inplants running her to where she rents. I would and will do anything for her but I am becoming totally exhausted mentally physically and emotionally. I just do not know what to do. We are pensioners relying on welfare. Please does anyone have any suggestions as I am devoid of any ideas. As I said I love my wife dearly and will do anything for her and have done so.

Stumblingon Lost and broken
  • replies: 9

So... about six weeks ago my wife goes on a drug binge and has unprotected sex with some random guy. She had just gotten out of hospital for a course of ect and blamed the ect for her poor choices. After seven weeks away from me and the kids the only... View more

So... about six weeks ago my wife goes on a drug binge and has unprotected sex with some random guy. She had just gotten out of hospital for a course of ect and blamed the ect for her poor choices. After seven weeks away from me and the kids the only thing she missed was getting wasted with her arsehole friends. I told her I want a divorce but she wants to go through counseling and refuses to move out. If it were just me frankly I would be gone but we have two kids. I feel like leaving the marriage is just ripping my kids off. I can’t afford to start over and set up a second home. I’m in my fifties and was looking forward to paying off the mortgage and saving some money to help my kids through uni in a few years (they’re 13 and 15). My only option is really renting something I can’t afford. I don’t have any savings. My wife hasn’t worked in years and we just scrape through week to week on what I earn. But then I feel like staying is setting myself up to be hurt again. This isn’t the first time. It’s the worst time but it seems every couple of years she goes out, gets obliterated and does something selfish and shitty. It’s just been this escalating cycle of betrayal. She swears she loves me but I feel nothing for her any more. There is absolutely no basis for trust. She seems remorseful but it’s so much more than this latest betrayal. Her days are basically spent lying on the couch. I work full time then come home and shopping, cooking, cleaning is all up to me. I’m exhausted but if I don’t do it it doesn’t get done and the kids deserve better. I’m so conflicted. I don’t want to end the marriage only to set the kids up for a life of poverty but how can I stay in this marriage? I can barely look at her without picturing what she did. I’m so sick with anxiety. I got a mental health plan from the gp, I’m just waiting to hear back for an appointment. I guess I’m just hoping to hear from people who’ve been through this sort of crap. Did you stay, did you go? Did you regain any trust, love, emotional connection? What worked out, what do you regret? How did your kids cope? I’m so lost right now.

Ben_L Want to have a romantic connection with someone, just anyone.
  • replies: 21

Hey guys, Im not new to this I've been here a couple of times, i really am looking for ways to connect with others as I'm very lonely and upset at this point. Just for anyones information, i am 16 years old and i am diagnosed with high functioning au... View more

Hey guys, Im not new to this I've been here a couple of times, i really am looking for ways to connect with others as I'm very lonely and upset at this point. Just for anyones information, i am 16 years old and i am diagnosed with high functioning autism, as you may know autism makes things like this a real big struggle and challenge. I just really want someone to notice how hard i try instead of focusing on thee thought that, "he's autistic he doesn't know how i feel." but i really want to know how people feel and develop a connection with them I need help guys. If anyone is willing to help please feel free, id really appreciate it

Mkr6684 I don't know where to start
  • replies: 3

i feel like I'm spiralling out of control, I want to give up on this shit show of a life, I don't know what to do anymore. I know I need therapy but even reaching out to do that I feel is hard to do im a (separated) single mum, still living at home a... View more

i feel like I'm spiralling out of control, I want to give up on this shit show of a life, I don't know what to do anymore. I know I need therapy but even reaching out to do that I feel is hard to do im a (separated) single mum, still living at home at 35. No life no friends no job no motivation no self esteem no sense of worth. I just feel like I'm on auto pilot everything crashed down when I found out Feb 2018, that my partner of 18yrs cheated on me and got her pregnant, the last 2yrs have been a blurry roller coaster on a hamster wheel (cause I feel like I've gotten nowhere), my mum has cancer she was diagnosed when I found out I was pregnant in 2014, my brother has a drug prob (last time 3months ago, I saw him I had to do cpr on him) my family is an extreme episode of Jerry Springer, growing up confused and desensitised to the fact that my mums ex husband (2 older brothers dad) cheated on her with her sister.. And I found my dad after he shot himself when I was 6. Sometimes im great full surprised I'm not more effed up, other times it makes sense why I am where I'm at in my life, like the title states I don't know where to even start. Everything has lead to where I am and it feels like rock bottom.. What a mess