Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Bee1998 Worried My Boyfriend Likes His Co-worker
  • replies: 5

I am extremely paranoid that there is something going on between my boyfriend and a co-worker at his work. A few months ago, I found texts between the two of them, and I saw it as flirting (especially from her end). I actually ended up messaging the ... View more

I am extremely paranoid that there is something going on between my boyfriend and a co-worker at his work. A few months ago, I found texts between the two of them, and I saw it as flirting (especially from her end). I actually ended up messaging the girl to ask if anything is going on between the two of them. The message I sent was extremely kind and non-threatening, and I wasn’t accusing anyone of anything, I was just asking ... instead of replying to me, she told the other females in the office at her work, and I got a phone call from one of them. The lady told me “we want nothing to do with your relationship”. At the time I didn’t think anything of this. Then, a few weeks later, I spoke to a friend about the situation, and she opened up my eyes to the fact that it was suspicious that the girl I messaged didn’t respond to me. Is she hiding something? Does she feel threatened because I know something might be going on? Why didn’t she just reply to my message, instead of humiliating me by telling her co-workers?.... this really made me think that something could possibly be going on between her and my boyfriend. Mans the weird part is, since I messaged her, she hasn’t sent my boyfriend anymore messages. So maybe she’s keeping it on the down-low and just talking to him at work so I don’t find out. The worst part is, some days while at work, he stays in the office (with her) , instead of going out on the field with the guys. This makes me extremely distressed, as I can’t see or know what goes on while they’re both there together. does anyone have any thoughts or advice on this? It would be very appreciated

Nothappyuni The love of my life, 25 years together and she has an affair
  • replies: 5

There is nothing anyone can say that will dull anything. I have left the family home, my kids and my cheating partner, though she says I can stay and live as a border in the house I worked for. Since moving out I have had time to speak to people, and... View more

There is nothing anyone can say that will dull anything. I have left the family home, my kids and my cheating partner, though she says I can stay and live as a border in the house I worked for. Since moving out I have had time to speak to people, and confirmed that she had an affair with a work colleague. He was younger and carefree, he had sex with anything that moved, including my wife. Since that happened (over 18months ago) my partner has not looked me in the eyes, I kid you not, she cannot look into my eyes. It has been like living with a 'life vampire', sucking everything out of me, I swear the world has gone black and white, I can't even tase anything. It makes no difference if you study psychology, it doesn't help with the depression. The person who you worshipped and placed above all things had sex, again and again, and again- with another man. I worked all those years to provide and care for a family, we owned everything and wanted for nothing.. well, nothing but sex with another man. It takes two, I know, but so many people are thoughtless of the damage they do to confused people going through midlife/menopause and the domino effect on the family. Get your rocks off with someones wife, it's all good. Yeah! Now one of my kids is on drugs (and my wife buys him alcohol every weekend), the other left home. And I have nothing to live for, and the guy from the fling is states away, he found a younger woman lived with her, then cheated on her and is single again- doing someone else's wife. This rant has done nothing for me, and I know no one will have anything helpful to say. Such is life! What is it worth???

CrazyGecko89 Not sure what to do.
  • replies: 2

So I got a message from a friend recently that i haven't seen or heard in years asking if I'm free to chat as she was in a really dark place. I oblige and found out she left a 5 year relationship with a control freak and moved back with family nearby... View more

So I got a message from a friend recently that i haven't seen or heard in years asking if I'm free to chat as she was in a really dark place. I oblige and found out she left a 5 year relationship with a control freak and moved back with family nearby. Her depression and anxiety was rather severe so I ended doing a few all nighters making sure she's alright and thankfully things are slowly on the mend and now we've gone from talking to hanging out where she's staying with future plans to visit places together but now the problems start popping up. Her sister is a big attention seeker so when I visit the jealousy causes arguments to flare up between the two and get nasty to the point that i have to leave which upsets the friend I'm trying to help and reconnecting with so I don't know what to do exactly there. The second is that during the relationship she had a child so there's the ongoing custody with the ex but she does get visitation. Now she's been dropping subtle hints about introducing me to her child and asking if it's ok to bring him along to our planned outings. This feels like a big thing to ask as I'm not a parent myself and not really comfortable being seen as a new dad by the child or other people. Any advice to these issues or did I accidentally dig myself into a bad spot?

UnlikelySituation 13 years of narcissistic abuse from wife
  • replies: 9

Hi everyone, It's taken me almost 14 years, however I found out that I've been emotionally abused by my wife for all this time. Things have gotten worse and I really want to get out. The problem is I have no money, I have a chronic illness and have t... View more

Hi everyone, It's taken me almost 14 years, however I found out that I've been emotionally abused by my wife for all this time. Things have gotten worse and I really want to get out. The problem is I have no money, I have a chronic illness and have two young kids. I've tried to see help from a psychologist however they just advised me to get couples counselling and see a lawyer. I really don't want to mess up anything by not preparing or saying the wrong thing to my wife as I don't want to lose my house and kids. It's been an extremely difficult past few months and got to a stage where I didn't even want to live. Please help.

ams019 Can't stand hearing about my new niece
  • replies: 4

My brother's wife gave birth yesterday, and I can't handle seeing the new pictures, and dread having to have the 'congratulations' conversations. The truth is, even though I get on well with my brother and don't have any issues in our relationship, I... View more

My brother's wife gave birth yesterday, and I can't handle seeing the new pictures, and dread having to have the 'congratulations' conversations. The truth is, even though I get on well with my brother and don't have any issues in our relationship, I don't want to see them or hear about how great their life is going. I feel like such a failure in comparison, and it really hurts that yet again, I am being left behind. I don't feel like I have it in me to keep fighting through all the rubbish.

Holi Ignoring his boys
  • replies: 1

Hi guys my ex pretty much has nothing to do with our boys.He has a older son from his first marriage who has 4 kids now and he has spent the last three Christmas with him in a other state.what hurts the most is our son has just been diagnosed with au... View more

Hi guys my ex pretty much has nothing to do with our boys.He has a older son from his first marriage who has 4 kids now and he has spent the last three Christmas with him in a other state.what hurts the most is our son has just been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder 3 months ago and he hasn't ask once what's happening or how he is absolutely nothing.Our son is heartbroken he doesn't say it but I know.And my ex has sent me a email saying the most horrible things about the boys that I thought a father would never say it's just so cruel.Its like a pattern he did this to his Older son at basically the same age.feeling sad angry heartbroken

Tony1111 I need friends
  • replies: 5

Hi im tony 33 i have anxiety and depression im on medication for ive been thro some bad times I was arrested and sent to prison for somthing i didint do. Ive lost my job my wife has left me and is stoping me from see my daughter . I have no friends o... View more

Hi im tony 33 i have anxiety and depression im on medication for ive been thro some bad times I was arrested and sent to prison for somthing i didint do. Ive lost my job my wife has left me and is stoping me from see my daughter . I have no friends or family i dont get out much im bankrupt and cant get loans I dont know wat to do or were to go my life is destroyed

2904 My Boyfriend Hates My Parents
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years and he is very supportive. Recently he has told me that he hates my parents and doesn’t want to be involved with them in any way. They are very protective and they just want to help but my boyfriend t... View more

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years and he is very supportive. Recently he has told me that he hates my parents and doesn’t want to be involved with them in any way. They are very protective and they just want to help but my boyfriend thinks that they think we are receiving charity from them and we can’t do anything ourselves. He doesn’t want me to disown my family but he doesn’t want to be a part of their lives either. I don’t know what to do. I have suggested talking to my parents about it to see if we can come to a conclusion but I don’t even know what to say to them

zerofootprint should I buy a cat before or after my mother dies?
  • replies: 3

background 48y male living alone with only one family contact my birth mother who is not ill but i worry about her coughing and this bush file smoke had been very bad and still skies not clear reason for thinking about getting a cat i see them as nar... View more

background 48y male living alone with only one family contact my birth mother who is not ill but i worry about her coughing and this bush file smoke had been very bad and still skies not clear reason for thinking about getting a cat i see them as narcissistic which should remind me of my mother what is wrong with me psychiatrist handed me his card with the word schizotypal written on the back my file is currently being held at the hospital and i take my tablets question though is fairly important to me as my little dog who replaced my last dog is current 10 and i had already decided no more dogs i know a cat wont replace conversation that i have with my mum but i can look into its eyes and go through the motions of talking to it without getting negative reaction i sometimes pray that she will outlive me so i wont feel the loss like i once did when my dad passed away years ago i cant give more than that here

jye99 3 years for nothing....
  • replies: 3

So basically my girlfriend and i were dating for around 3 and half years the relationship was really good but we only had one downfall...distance. we had distance between us for 80% of our relationship we met up a few times here and there but everyth... View more

So basically my girlfriend and i were dating for around 3 and half years the relationship was really good but we only had one downfall...distance. we had distance between us for 80% of our relationship we met up a few times here and there but everything seemed really good we had fights like every normal couple but i felt like these fights she just added them up like a tally every time we argued i felt like i lost a small piece of her nearly every single time after an argument she would almost be a little bit more distant and not her self...anyway things went on pretty normally though we were both happy she told me a week before she left me that she was the happiest she's ever been with me. until something changed one day i woke up i called her before she went to the gym she was super excited that i had called her when she wasn't expecting me too and it was awesome hearing how happy she was....but things changed after that call ended and she went to the gym and called me after but something was off, she sounded dull and different.Hours after this call she all of sudden started to become distant...very distant, one word replies, not replying fast like she usually did, not calling me on her lunch break or when she finished work and sounded really dull when i called her. This continued on for a few days later until she told me after i had asked her is everything okay that she needed her own space and that "its not you its me" she told me she wanted me to focus on my self more instead of always focusing on her and that we needed a break/breakup because she felt like i was "suffocating her" with too much love even though we're on opposite sides of the country, after the breakup i was destroyed i couldn't believe it, it just wasn't like her she just became like a stranger to me she treated me like i was a random person to her, she blocked me on everything but after 1 day i messaged her on instagram just trying to reach out and apologize for whatever i had done and that we could work it out as a couple but wasn't expecting her to reply, but she did. we talked that day and for the rest of the week up until now about work and exercising among other things but talk about our relationship was forbidden. she told me today that "this wasnt what i imagined time to our selves meant" and continued to say that "maybe we should just cut contact for a while" now im 100% all for this but i can't help but feel like shes just saying this so she can move on without me....help