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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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SweetSmile Want space and time
  • replies: 6

Two weeks ago my partner of 3 years -and I had a huge argument where he asked for a break as we have been having a few problems. He says the spark is gone and but he still loves me. He willing go to couple counsellor/ therapy as we agreed on from our... View more

Two weeks ago my partner of 3 years -and I had a huge argument where he asked for a break as we have been having a few problems. He says the spark is gone and but he still loves me. He willing go to couple counsellor/ therapy as we agreed on from our last conversation however after talk and realise he need see one for himself bad he is confuse and unhappy. So he went see one few days after our argument and decide don’t want to see couple therapy as want focus on himself and asked me to give him time.. we still living under same roof even though I offer to leave and give him space but he say it’s okay for me stay. So right now I am feeling lost and tiring of waiting for him. It’s our second time to be in that situation where he left me in past that I ended with him as he kept changing his mind. 5 years later we are together again and it was great until last few months.. just don’t know what to do as don’t want him make stupid mistake again.. I really want make things work for us.

Chester09 Being an essential worker during a pandemic
  • replies: 3

I am grateful to still have a job, don't get me wrong but I just dont know how to be there for my kids while both my husband and I continue to work. How can I justify putting anything ahead of my children at a time like this? They need us now more th... View more

I am grateful to still have a job, don't get me wrong but I just dont know how to be there for my kids while both my husband and I continue to work. How can I justify putting anything ahead of my children at a time like this? They need us now more than ever before but now, more than ever before, it is crucial to hang on to the employment we have. Can anyone relate? Can anyone tell me how they are doing it? I just don't know how I am going to cope. While my role is essential, I am new to it and therefore new to the workplace and not afforded any goodwill towards flexibility to care for my family.

LovelyLoneyLady Bloke blues
  • replies: 3

Hi, i thought id finally possibly found a suitable partner (I really liked him). He suddenly cancelled our plans, ghosted me and went back online looking for someone else. All ive ever wanted was a decent and intelligent man that i can share my life ... View more

Hi, i thought id finally possibly found a suitable partner (I really liked him). He suddenly cancelled our plans, ghosted me and went back online looking for someone else. All ive ever wanted was a decent and intelligent man that i can share my life with, but seem to be very unlucky in love. I feel like theres a curse on me or something!

megss helicopter parenting to withdrawn
  • replies: 9

Hi, My mum and I don't have the best relationship, but it has gotten worse as I have gotten older and realised what is okay and what isn't. Long story short, parents had a messy divorce when I was young and have been going week on and week off. This ... View more

Hi, My mum and I don't have the best relationship, but it has gotten worse as I have gotten older and realised what is okay and what isn't. Long story short, parents had a messy divorce when I was young and have been going week on and week off. This could have affected our relationship, I'm not sure. Pretty much my mum is either very very involved and when I say that I can do something by myself, or tell her that I can manage (which I do very politely), she gets almost offended and steps back too far, for example, won't drive me to where I need to go or won't cook dinner for me suddenly without telling me, almost to prove that I need her, and I do but just not as much as she wants to be. She controls all aspects of my life and uses them to blackmail me. She checks my location on Life360 religiously and gets notifications whenever I move. She reads all my messages, goes through all my bags, reads my journals (which I have now stopped writing) and even my school books. She went as far as to check my pencil case. I have no privacy at home. She walks into the bathroom when I am in the shower and gets mad when I ask her to leave. She says that as long as I live with her, I have no privacy. She checks on me every 10 minutes and will make excuses to do so. I have no room to move and I need more room, she is too controlling. She also controls what food I eat, which is fair enough for a parent, but I am not allowed to go and get food from the cupboard because she takes stocktakes of the food. She uses the fact that I have ADHD to say that she needs to be more involved, but it is really for herself, and I know that I can manage to put my clothes away without her watching me. I know that she is manipulative, she once took all of my T-shirts out of my draw and asked my sister to hide my volleyball gear so I couldn't train. She needs to know everything as well. I now just lie to her and don't tell her anything, and she wonders why! I get so frustrated at her because she won't let me live, but when she steps back it's too far. I keep asking her to let me do things and I'll ask for her help if I need it, but there is no in-between. I feel like I have no connection with her, and I don't want one. Half of the time she is overly affectionate, and the other half of the time she is emotionally neglectful and I am confused. I don't like affection from her because it ranges too much, I am confused. I understand she is trying to parent but it is too much. Any suggestions?

ColY How to cope elderly parent in nursing home
  • replies: 3

Struggling hard my mother is end stage in a nursing home (they thought she would pass before Christmas). I am allowed to visit but feeling too guilty to do so. She never wanted to go to a nursing home, cannot remember that now, often doesn't remember... View more

Struggling hard my mother is end stage in a nursing home (they thought she would pass before Christmas). I am allowed to visit but feeling too guilty to do so. She never wanted to go to a nursing home, cannot remember that now, often doesn't remember me now. My siblings are interstate or overseas. Tried phoning Beyond Blue but got hung up on when I accidently muted call.

PsychedelicFur Being an Old Soul
  • replies: 23

Greetings, Currently whilst being on my hiatus of self growth and discovery I have particularly noticed that I have a tendency to feel incredibly lonesome and wanting, wishing and seeking to find my tribe. I'm an eccentric, passionate, flamboyant and... View more

Greetings, Currently whilst being on my hiatus of self growth and discovery I have particularly noticed that I have a tendency to feel incredibly lonesome and wanting, wishing and seeking to find my tribe. I'm an eccentric, passionate, flamboyant and charismatic young person who is just merely wanting to find my place in the world. It has become apparent, to me that it is awfully difficult to find others of my age bracket that wear vintage clothes, admire antique furnishings, listen to psychedelic , classic, experimental rock/blues music or even have an idea of what I am talking about. I find my generation far too superficial, perhaps needy and undetermined to be different and unusual. I flaunt my uniqueness wherever I go with bold, loud and fierce vintage styles (consisting of loads of flowers, colours and my wicked collection of go go boots too) Like I said I'm confident with who I am and what I like ; I would NEVER change for the world... I just feel that my uniqueness and capability of freely sharing my self expression may intimidate or even perhaps scare other people my age a way. I am awkward around others my age because I don't really know how to speak to them. One problem being because I am not at all intrigued in modern societies' fads that seem to go out style within five minutes.. like I said I would rather sip my herbal tea and listen to my records on my turntable than attend drug or alcohol parties. I also live in an area that does not really seem to encourage nor support my idea of being unusual. The environment around me makes me think that self expression is not acceptable and I should just be restricted to supporting the ways of the so called 'social NORM' Signed, PF

Guest_9043 Did I over react? Need some input.
  • replies: 11

I ended my relationship with my partner two days ago. It is not true that the person who ends it has an easier time. When I ended the r/ship I had not been thinking of it for days or even weeks on end. I still absolutely loved my partner when I ended... View more

I ended my relationship with my partner two days ago. It is not true that the person who ends it has an easier time. When I ended the r/ship I had not been thinking of it for days or even weeks on end. I still absolutely loved my partner when I ended it. I still do love her very much. I ended it because we had a short yet painful row. I was under extreme stress and pressure from many things. Big and small. Also going through a mental breakdown. My mind and heart could not cope with the argument. She said things and didn't say things that made no sense. The final blow was when she said if you cannot take responsibility we have nothing. A powerful statement and a knife straight through my heart. In that moment I said that is it, the relationship is over, I am done, we are done and I am moving out. I also said not long after that, that we will not be sleeping together anymore. It's inappropriate, we are no longer together. I saw the look on her face of what I interpret as please do not abandon me. I have however stuck to it and we have not been sleeping together. I miss sleeping with her terribly to be honest. I did not want to end the relationship, I felt there was no longer any other choice. I went through something similar with her almost a month ago now. I was rebuilding my trust in her and the relationship as well as my safety. She promised that person would never come back. I actually do know she tried very very hard to keep that cruel, cutting, non-feeling person away. She is devastated that she has caused me such pain. I watch her struggle and want to help. I'm just scared to get hurt. Scared to trust. I feel like I am very protective of me. I still love her. There is lots to love and I miss her. I need to talk this out with someone.

Loz2192 Partner trusting issues
  • replies: 1

Hi, I’m new to this but just thought I would give it a go I have been with my partner for 2 years...things were great at first but I do have trouble expressing my feelings to her... I do overthink a lot and create scenarios in my mind that then leads... View more

Hi, I’m new to this but just thought I would give it a go I have been with my partner for 2 years...things were great at first but I do have trouble expressing my feelings to her... I do overthink a lot and create scenarios in my mind that then leads to me not trusting her or thinking she is not telling me the truth about some things I do suffer with anxiety and depression also so that does play a part in my over thinking just wondering if anyone has been like this and what have they done to over come this

Jasanic_Bible Post-school loneliness
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I graduated from year twelve back in November. It was probably the happiest time of my life thus far. I'd finished with some of the highest grades in my cohort, and virtually everyone respected me. But I've struggled my whole life with social... View more

Hi all, I graduated from year twelve back in November. It was probably the happiest time of my life thus far. I'd finished with some of the highest grades in my cohort, and virtually everyone respected me. But I've struggled my whole life with socialisation, in large part due to my ASD. I managed to get the number of friends I'd liked, but I wasn't particularly close to any of them. An opportunity came up for a relationship the day after my formal, when one of my friends asked me if I liked her. But ever since I was 15, I've struggled to have any romantic feeling for girls. I don't know why this happened, and I've been seeing a psychologist about the matter. I decided I'd try the relationship. But because I struggled to feel that much for her, I wasn't very affectionate with her. The struggle to maintain the relationship exacerbated my anxiety to levels that were hard to bear, and made it harder to feel anything for her. I found out two days ago that she's dating someone else now. I feel like a mess frankly. Now she's giving me the cold shoulder, though I didn't do anything wrong to her. I'm going to try to maintain my friendship with her, but I can tell it will not be easy at all. I haven't been able to find anything to do with most of my old friends from school. In most cases, we only communicate via Messenger when I initiate the conversation, which would seem to indicate to me that they meant more to me than I to them. One of my friends is in the same friendship group as my ex-date, which makes it difficult at the moment to do anything with him because she doesn't want to see me currently. It's my third week into university, though starting there has only made me feel more isolated. Due to the structure of the classes, it is nigh impossible to make friends within them. No one from my old school is going to the same campus as me. I also work casually as a delivery driver at Domino's. Due to the fact that I'm out of store most of the time and the fast-paced nature of the job, I don't feel able to connect with anyone there. School was my only real friendship base, and I have nothing else, besides my brother. But the fact that he's family compounds the problem, because he's not a friendship that I had to work to get. I feel more lonely now than ever before, and I don't know how to get out of it. There's not much potential to maintain my old friendships, and, as far as I can see, not much to make new ones. Any help would be appreciated.