I’m here because I have no support
Everything is crumbling, including me. I’m falling apart physically and mentally.
It started with massive weight loss which led to new found confidence and consequently a marriage breakdown. From there I lost all my friends. But I still had my family. My physical health got much worse, 24/7 pain.
My family started falling apart when my mum and (step) dad separated a few years ago, largely due to his alcoholism. Then last year, my dad died suddenly. Family, particularly my mum, became more distant. I stopped being the helper and fixer all the time because I couldn’t cope with it anymore. Now I seldom see my family. Friends are the same. What friends? I feel so used.
I’m clinging to full time work but I want to quit. My boss is I supportive and there are some mean girls that make me feel worthless.
Maybe nobody will ever read this. Or care. But I am human. And I hurt so much it’s unbearable.
Im sorry that you are having a difficult time. I know all too well what its like to have no one around for support. I dont have any advice that will magically make things better unfortunately but please know.. i care about you.
Please keep reaching out on here. There are so many wonderful people that have helped me through many very hard times and im sure they will offer you the same kindness.
I feel the pain in your words and I’m so sorry. If it’s any consolation, I have some insight into what you are going through, I’ve suffered from health issues my whole life. I finally found someone who was accepting and I fell in love, only to find out fairly early on that he was physically and emotionally abusive. I stayed in that relationship for 10 years, and ended up suffering a stroke. I then decided that I had to leave him around the same time. At the same time I also lost my job. I’d never had many friends and had isolated myself to hide the abuse more easily. I was left feeling totally despondent, as every area of my life was literally a train wreck. But don’t underestimate your resilience, you are alive, you have lost the weight, you may be in pain now but that can also change. Don’t give up now - there’s a quote that reminds me of where you’re at currently “if you’re going through hell, keep going”! Don’t worry about everything at once, just break it down into manageable things. Perhaps you could try sort the pain first? I found that antidepressants helped me with unbearable pain (and also helped my mood). Once that’s under control, you can consider looking for a new job, etc. just deal with what you can manage at this time and slowly start making the changes you want to see.