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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Federer Gaslighting at work
  • replies: 5

I have been a victim of gaslighting and severe psychological trauma to the point where nothing feels like it used to in the past. Like things music and gym and even a laugh hurts. The workplace environment has done this to me where I was psychologica... View more

I have been a victim of gaslighting and severe psychological trauma to the point where nothing feels like it used to in the past. Like things music and gym and even a laugh hurts. The workplace environment has done this to me where I was psychologically traumatised from left, right and centre and even behind me as well. I had the word Penis sign put back of my hoodie. I have been subjected severe gaslighting where I was treated like a puppet by everyone and questioned my sanity and I couldn't ask for help or assistance in a Corporate environment. Sadly, I brought home that toxicity and it has destroyed my relationship with my family. I saw all of the EAPs and Psychologist but nothing was done and I tried to compromise with them through mediation as in my employer but they would not agree to it as I was trying to put in a complaint against the sex discrimination act but nothing was done and a settlement was not reached. THe corporate environment was pure evil and very cuthroat with a lot of subtle bullying and emotional ambient abuse that the staff could get away with it where it would question your self worth. You know how some people have work with children I can see why, it was like a horror film right in front of my eyes. I am at a loss and comcare rejected my claim despite showing some evidence and most of the evidence is with the Department sadly, they got away with it and HR and HSRs and Harassment Contact officers were all useless nothing more tittles. HR found no evidence but most of it was buried and destroyed by them just to cover it up. What should I do? They got away with it and it has destroyed my mental health.

The_Bro DO WE CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO CARE FOR US?
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone The most recent time I was in a situation requiring medical care, I thought a lot about the excellent people looking after me. The along comes Covid, which appears to have established a whole new set of pressures on many care professional... View more

Hi everyone The most recent time I was in a situation requiring medical care, I thought a lot about the excellent people looking after me. The along comes Covid, which appears to have established a whole new set of pressures on many care professionals - from health workers, police, teachers and so on. We hear daily about the pressures they face. These care groups now often have to demonstrate flexibility and resilience far beyond what they ever thought would be required of them when they choose their profession. Like Police manning Covid traffic check points, breaking up banned Covid parties, hospital staff doing double shifts and dealing with relatives who cannot talk with infected family, and now teachers who have to deal with parents and students about Covid prevention measures. Its a real handful and difficult to solve, when you stop and think about it. Some of us have already required long term care or one type or another, we love our carers and highly value what they do for us. I'm not sure if I am allowed to say this on our forum, but some carers are facing new pressures that are almost 'bullying' from patients. Wouldn't a 'Care for the carers' campaign be a great idea! They are absolutely amazing people and have our interests front and centre! What do you think forum community - do you think carers get the love and respect they deserve? Do you have examples of amazing carers going the extra mile for you? Thanks so much for reading - I look forward to your views. The Bro

idontread I was assaulted by my best friend/housemate
  • replies: 6

Hi I'm new but I don't really know what to do about any of this or what I'm allowed to feel? My best friend/housemate has been going through a lot of shit recently (ex he's still in love with dating his best friend) so I've been his main support pers... View more

Hi I'm new but I don't really know what to do about any of this or what I'm allowed to feel? My best friend/housemate has been going through a lot of shit recently (ex he's still in love with dating his best friend) so I've been his main support person - it's just us in the apartment - and he was going through a particularly rough spot after coming home from a night out so he asked to stay in my room. I said ok (I have a double bed there's plenty of room) but after a bit he started touching me so I moved his hand away a number of times and then he just kept going. I kept moving his hands and shifting away - I even got up to check my phone and came back to sleep well away from him (I almost fell off the side) but eventually I had to get up and leave. He eventually got up and went to his own room after he noticed I was on the couch. In the morning he said he didn't remember anything and thanked me for being there for him. I still haven't told him what he did and it's been like 6 months. We still live together and he's still going through a rough time so I'm having to support him all the time but I hate when he's touching me and I find myself getting angrier with him quickly and resenting him a bit. Idk what to do, bc it took me ages to find a place and environment as nice as this one and I don't want to move or things to change, but it's eating at me. Any advice would be amazing aha

Echtis I don't understand my trauma.
  • replies: 5

Hello, I was diagnosed with PTSD a little over a year ago with comorbid MDD. One of the ways I deal with my trauma is through writing. I try writing down what I think happened. Despite being a "victim of CSA" I don't think my trauma was around that b... View more

Hello, I was diagnosed with PTSD a little over a year ago with comorbid MDD. One of the ways I deal with my trauma is through writing. I try writing down what I think happened. Despite being a "victim of CSA" I don't think my trauma was around that but because of an extremely neglectful and abusive home life. When I try to process what happened over years, and compare it to present reality, none of it seems real, as though it is just a story full of plot holes. Things that I think made sense don't, events don't line up. I remember it all like it was yesterday, but it feels like a movie. Obviously reality is not a movie, which calls into question the legitimacy of my trauma. Did things happen as I think they did? Is it just a series of events that I exaggerated in my head? Was any of it real? If it wasn't real, why do I feel this way? How can I determine what did happen, if what I think happened doesn't make sense? When two conflicting, contradicting memories exist, which one is real? If my existence is defined by this trauma, and the trauma isn't real, then what does that mean for me? How have others verified their abuse when no one else saw it?

_Nini_ Previous Job is maybe giving me PTSD
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing well. Last year back in July, I quit my casual job because I was going through the HSC and had family commitments. Ever since the day I quit, I get these feelings of fear that my old boss was going to call me back ... View more

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing well. Last year back in July, I quit my casual job because I was going through the HSC and had family commitments. Ever since the day I quit, I get these feelings of fear that my old boss was going to call me back into work. Ive had a few nightmares since i quit and I don't know how to deal with this. It has been over a year now but I still get scared when hearing about the company name or when Im physically near that workplace (it was in a shopping centre), I have now avoided that area. I am apparently still under the payroll system of the company but I texted the Taxation office and they said it was fine and I didn't need to do anything since I already quit and wasn't earning any income from them but I'm still so scared that I am on their system. I don't know why but now I keep checking my emails constantly fearing that they would email me because they still have my email address. Ive been having panic attacks recently because my previous job just cant exit my mind, just seeing someone totally random that has the same name as my manager scares me so much. It is becoming worse now as it is affecting me mentally and my friends don't understand because they've never experienced this before. Hopefully someone in this community can somewhat relate to me and guide me through. Thank you all for reading it this far.

Llama_Calma Supporting a PTSD sufferer and partner who is violent
  • replies: 5

I will try keep this short. My long term boyfriend is a good person, with good values but is frequently violent. I know he has been diagnosed with PTSD (and possible borderline personality disorder). He has severe anxiety at times, as well as a range... View more

I will try keep this short. My long term boyfriend is a good person, with good values but is frequently violent. I know he has been diagnosed with PTSD (and possible borderline personality disorder). He has severe anxiety at times, as well as a range of other physical health conditions (cardiac, diabetes). He does NOT drink or take (illegal) drugs. The violence could be worse, but it is very frequent. Usually punching me hard in the arms or shoulders (not face or torso) or some times in the back of the head (but not with the same full swing force he would use on my arms). Sometimes there is other stuff, such as kicking my legs or pulling my hair. It usually comes in short bursts but daily. He is rarely remorseful because he believes he is retaliating for my disrespectful behaviour. However he is very sensitive to rejection, and so if he is not feeling well sometimes "disrespectful behaviour" is not immediately stopping whatever I am doing when he speaks. He has seen psychologists from time to time, but certainly does not ever allude to having "anger issues". He is absolutely opposed to us seeking help together, and sees any suggestion of us (or me) seeing a psychologist as a threat. When things get really bad, I have threatened to leave, which just increases his anxiety and makes things worse. I have never told a single person in my real life about any of this. A stranger once made a report to Police (via number plate) after he lost his cool whilst in the car (traffic jams also trigger his anxiety) but he just denied anything had happened and that was the end of the matter. He is not working and is not in a strong financial position, and this adds to his stress. He is trying to pursue some artistic endeavours and feels I do not spend enough time helping him with his work. The other night, he punched me in the shoulder/back from behind, but I was facing a cupboard door, so now have bruising around my eye and eyebrow and pain as my face hit the door. This was not because he hit me any harder than usual (so was an accident in some respects) but I have been having nightmares about other "accidents" happening. I want to try and get him help so we can have a healthier relationship. I expect some people will say "leave", but hoping someone who has come out the other side of something like this could assist. BTW, there are no kids in the equation.

Scapegoated I REALLY need help with this.
  • replies: 8

I am obsessed with what I look like and extremely sensitive about others either not commenting or noticing that I look good or thinking if they don't that they think I am ugly. I need help with this. My mother DID call me a Freak of Nature, She DID c... View more

I am obsessed with what I look like and extremely sensitive about others either not commenting or noticing that I look good or thinking if they don't that they think I am ugly. I need help with this. My mother DID call me a Freak of Nature, She DID call me a dirty little mutt and an animal. Am I supposed to Never tell anyone and live with this all alone? My mother called me a freak of Nature and said she hated the sight of me at 4 or maybe even 3 years old and I was abused. if people can say that people raped them why can't i SAY HOW DISGUSTINGLY HORRIBLE MY SOCIOPATH OF A MOTHER IS.

Izzy2943 Mandatory reporting, loss of autonomy
  • replies: 5

In 2019, I told my story one too many times, on a new site with mandatory reporters. I thought that since it happened so long ago, I would be safe. But I received an email saying that there was going to be a report. For over a year, I felt unsafe. Lo... View more

In 2019, I told my story one too many times, on a new site with mandatory reporters. I thought that since it happened so long ago, I would be safe. But I received an email saying that there was going to be a report. For over a year, I felt unsafe. Looking over my shoulder at all times, terrified my every knock on the door, every ring of the phone, every letter in the mailbox, would be the police telling my mum. It got so bad that I was terrified at school, every teacher that entered a room, I thought was coming to take me to the office, and police would be there. I'm so tired of having my basic human autonomy taken from me. My body, my story, my ability to say no. Feels like I haven't had that since it happened at 8 years old. And it didn't stop with the actual traumatising event. School counsellors, telling my parents about anxiety and self-harm, mandatory reporters trying to take my story over me. I'm terrified that if I go to a doctor, I would be deemed to not have 'capacity' to refuse treatments/exams requiring me to be unclothed. I feel unsafe, less because of what happened, and more from the people that are supposed to help. All I've ever been shown is that they'll take away what little autonomy I have left. I know that I need help, but I'd rather deal with it alone for the rest of my life, if the alternative is having my story and my body stripped from my hands yet again. I'm 18 now. I thought I would be safe. But confidentiality and that is so unclear when I google it, and it's just not worth risking it. I don't know what to do.

pl515p1 Seeing death twice, repressed memories tormenting me..
  • replies: 2

After holding in so much, my psychologist recently unburdened something I have never told anyone. In January 2020 I witnessed a man commit suicide. Only my father knew about what I saw, I have tried to forget that sight, but recently I have been havi... View more

After holding in so much, my psychologist recently unburdened something I have never told anyone. In January 2020 I witnessed a man commit suicide. Only my father knew about what I saw, I have tried to forget that sight, but recently I have been having nightmares about it, and the worst one was last night, because his body became that of my dad. My dad passed in September 2020, and I found him in his bed, it was unexpected, and has destroyed me, but one thing I remember is that his eyes were closed, and his face did not look in any pain, but in the nightmares dad's eyes are open and he looks so sad and hurt. I cannot take seeing these images of him that way, I will tell her about these nightmares in my next session. In the past few weeks I have been trying to move from the home where I found dad, and looking through his belongings, and room where I found him has torn me apart, there have been a few nights where I have asked dad to take me with him, to let me go to sleep and not wake up as he did. But I think these nightmares are dad trying to tell me, see, I have been staying in hotels recently to avoid dad's home, and on Friday night I sat in the cold dark outside on the balcony for about half an hour, thinking of everything. I know dad would be so sad to know how much pain I am in, I feel guilty, as if I am still a burden to him now, and he cannot find his peace, in one dream I was hiding something from dad, and he was angry and stopped talking to me, maybe he is angry at my thoughts. I miss my dad so much, the months move on, and soon I am moving too, but the loss just grows larger, sometimes I think it won't be so bad to go and be with him, but I know how much he gave up to get me where I am in life, and how proud he is of me. Lockdown, this, my brain cannot handle it all, when I see those images of my dad, it hurts so much, how do I stop these images of that strangers suicide from merging with my dad? I don't want to see my dad's eyes staring at me, I just want to be blank, forget everything in the world, me , my family, everything, I cannot even close my eyes for peace, dad used to visit me in my dreams, it was so beautiful. Help me to unsee.

BrokenAnt 30% whole person impairment
  • replies: 0

Has anyone ever been assessed as 30% whole person impairment for psychiatric injury from workplace bullying? What has whole person percentage assessments been for other people who have been injured from being bullied at work?

Has anyone ever been assessed as 30% whole person impairment for psychiatric injury from workplace bullying? What has whole person percentage assessments been for other people who have been injured from being bullied at work?