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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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24yearoldgirl Hello
  • replies: 8

Some of you may remember me from last year I posted on the forum. Long story short, I've been a carer for my mum who had a brain injury in 2010. I'm now 25 years old, and don't have any friends or career. I've been isolated, developed depression, anx... View more

Some of you may remember me from last year I posted on the forum. Long story short, I've been a carer for my mum who had a brain injury in 2010. I'm now 25 years old, and don't have any friends or career. I've been isolated, developed depression, anxiety and had many breakdowns. Well this year, I've been diagnosed with a psychosis, and Schizophreniform disorder. Although I'm not sure I 100% agree. I was admitted to a hospital ward recently, and forced onto medication, which had horrible side effects for me, to the point where I needed a wheelchair from loss of energy. Luckily, I'm now back home and not currently on any medications. I was feeling well for some time, exercising, cleaning the house etc. But more recently I feel loss of motivation to get up and repeat the same activities. Having feelings of depression, and self-sabotage. Our lease ends in 2 months, My social worker is encouraging me to leave my mum, and go and study next year. I feel that this constant procrastination over whether I should stay or leave, is not good for my mental health. Why do I feel so guilty for leaving my mum, why do I feel compassionate towards her, when there were times she hurt me. Any thoughts? Hope everyone is doing well.

psalm_139 Content: Sexual assault.
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone. This is my first post. I have found these threads helpful to 'normalise' what I am going through and hear of others peoples experiences. I feel like I need to share whats happened to me and ask for help. Trigger warning: I talk about a m... View more

Hi everyone. This is my first post. I have found these threads helpful to 'normalise' what I am going through and hear of others peoples experiences. I feel like I need to share whats happened to me and ask for help. Trigger warning: I talk about a man who has sexually assaulted me I was sexually assaulted a couple of times by the same person, someone I used to work with. This occurred in October 2020 after a work dinner, and again while at work in January 2021. At the time I froze and didn't know what to do. I have told my boss, my partner and parents. He no longer works at the same place, my bosses asked him to leave. I feel like I need convincing that he assaulted me. I still sometimes think, was it sexual assault? is it my fault? how can someone be so cruel? does he know what he's done? does he know thats sexual assault? I have been seeing a psychologist and told her and my GP. I have been approved for VS counselling. But I feel like I need more support. I am feeling so depressed and anxious. I have started SH too. Which I haven't told anyone yet. I am feeling so angry at him, at the impact its having on my life and mental health. I am angry that none of what happened has to affect him. I often see him at his new work or his girlfriend around the area as we live in is close. Its so hard to see and know that his girlfriend probably has no idea. I am too scared at this stage to report to police because I am scared that he will lie, turn it on me, or say things like I wanted it to happen. Please help, any advice is appreciated. Thankyou.

destlomby T.W. Sexual Assault - seeking advice 💞
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I was sexually assaulted in 2019 by someone that I was really close friends with. Nobody in my group really liked him but I was always really nice to him because he would tell me that he was upset about not having friends and that he was... View more

Hi everyone, I was sexually assaulted in 2019 by someone that I was really close friends with. Nobody in my group really liked him but I was always really nice to him because he would tell me that he was upset about not having friends and that he was feeling really left out. I had a free house and I invited him and some of my other mates over for drinks. I got really drunk and one of my friends put me to bed. I woke up to him opening the door to my room and I remember he came and laid next to me and then proceeded to get on top of me. I was so drunk I couldn’t move and I kept asking him to stop, telling him I was too drunk and saying no and that I didn’t want to have sex with him. I was so drunk that I was in and out of consciousness the whole time and barely remember anything. After that he continued to message me saying that I said yes and that I consented and saying that it was okay because he was drunk too. He convinced me that it was my fault and that I just didn’t properly remember saying yes because I was too drunk. I’m having difficulty getting through it and it was almost 2 years ago. I haven’t been able to be in a relationship with anyone since and it effects my sex life. I’ve tried contacting SARC but they can’t get me in for 6 months. I want to go to the police but I’m scared. Had anyone had a good experience with going to the police and reporting it? Just looking for some advice on how to move on because I’m so scared and depressed. He also goes to my school so i have to see him everyday and his younger brother is really close with mine. Any advice is appreciated 🥰

Aurora2015 Poetry to deal with PTSD triggers
  • replies: 3

Hi, First time poster here. It's the eve of my birthday, I'm in lockdown, live alone and have had a week of being triggered for a multitude of reasons. Having been in therapy on and off for years, I am picking up more and more tools to help deal with... View more

Hi, First time poster here. It's the eve of my birthday, I'm in lockdown, live alone and have had a week of being triggered for a multitude of reasons. Having been in therapy on and off for years, I am picking up more and more tools to help deal with the dark moments and more often than not (these days) cope well and manage triggers as opposed to acting out on them. I don't consider my writing good, have no idea where the words came from, but it feels better verbally dribbling them on a page. Can anyone relate? HIDE The pain is there, beneath the surface; You blink and a crack shows; Quick! Hide it, make a joke, Don't falter! "You look sad" they'll say; Laugh it off, deflect, dismiss; Just don't let it show! You'll go home, alone. You'll cry, you'll break; The wound will bleed, the pain is there; You'll sob until you're numb; Then you'll sleep. Morning comes. You look in the mirror, the pain is there; It's in your eyes, on your face and in your general demeanor; Hide it! Make-up, humor, anything. Don't let them see! They won't understand. No-one does. They never have. They never will. You'll smile and crack a joke as you arrive at work; "You look happy" they'll say; You'll wink, crack another joke and get to work. You'll go home, alone. You'll cry, you'll break; The wound will bleed, the pain is there; You'll sob until you're numb; Then you'll sleep. Finite.

Sarah2021 PTSD where it started
  • replies: 2

Hi Everyone, So it all started on the 14th of May My neighbour tried calling me at 12.30am and 4.20am but my phone was on silent I woke at 7 and tried calling her back with no answer so I msged her daughter and said is your mum ok she tried to call m... View more

Hi Everyone, So it all started on the 14th of May My neighbour tried calling me at 12.30am and 4.20am but my phone was on silent I woke at 7 and tried calling her back with no answer so I msged her daughter and said is your mum ok she tried to call me she said really I haven't heard from her so she tried to call her with no answer so the daughter then called me and said I'm really worried about mum can you go and check on her. I went over let myself in with the spare key the kitchen light was on she was there I went into her bedroom she must have gotten out of bed and collapsed she landed on her chest of drawers I called 000 and I had to get her onto the floor to start cpr by the time I got her onto the floor the paramedics were there who started cpr but they couldn't save her I'm struggling with it all I keep thinking about this awful day with flashbacks and it gives me anxiety. I would like to hear from other people to get some support

FeelingWorthless-93 Trauma from an abusive relationship & I think I have PTSD?
  • replies: 4

Hi, 6 weeks ago, my ex walked out on me. We've been having some arguments and internal pressures in the lead up to it. The reason why I believe I have PTSD is from the way he left me, as he left me with a packed car and said to me "I don't want this ... View more

Hi, 6 weeks ago, my ex walked out on me. We've been having some arguments and internal pressures in the lead up to it. The reason why I believe I have PTSD is from the way he left me, as he left me with a packed car and said to me "I don't want this anymore, I want to go and find someone new and something new. Please let me go". I didn't see the way he was going to leave me coming, as I wanted us to sit down and talk about it. Come to the conclusion together it wasn't working out anymore. That night has reoccured in nightmares and flashbacks for me which has made me feel anxious even at work. Our relationship was abusive in a way where he: -Financialy Abused Me -Emotionally Abused Me -Domestic Violence - Manipulation - Gaslighting Since he left me, I keep asking if we can be friends but he has rejected this multiple times and even says he doesn't think we can be friends. I still care about him, even though he makes me feel unworthy, even as a friend. How do I stop all this, PTSD, anxiety and feeling of unworthiness?

rarepixy Complex trauma/complex PTSD
  • replies: 13

Hi I dont even know where to begin. So is anyone about that has been diagnosed with complex ptsd from childhood abuse around? I find very minimal support groups with hours upon hours or searching. I suffer many health problems due to this mental heal... View more

Hi I dont even know where to begin. So is anyone about that has been diagnosed with complex ptsd from childhood abuse around? I find very minimal support groups with hours upon hours or searching. I suffer many health problems due to this mental health problem ill call it. Just looking for others to talk to as no one understand that our brains are literarily wired differently from others. Medical fact btw. anyone feel free to comment

DisplayName5742 Impossible to Forgive?
  • replies: 11

Hello fellow members, Writing here today as I feel I'm unable to forgive what's been done to me in the past. This may get rambly, I apologize in advance. Firstly, a little background. While growing up I was abused by both of my parents, mainly throug... View more

Hello fellow members, Writing here today as I feel I'm unable to forgive what's been done to me in the past. This may get rambly, I apologize in advance. Firstly, a little background. While growing up I was abused by both of my parents, mainly through verbal abuse and emotional manipulation. My siblings also began to exhibit the same behaviour, I was heading the same way, until I realised it wasn't normal. I'm sure I still exhibit some poor behaviours. About seven years ago I cut all contact with them. I now have no contact with any biological family members. My family on one parents side were cut out of my life when I was a child. The other side of the family was cut out of my life as a teen, after two deaths in that side of the family. While it shocks some people when I tell them about it, I feel having no contact with my family is best for my mental health. As a side note, I don't feel trying to contact extended family is a good idea, as any correspondence will get back to my parents. After my parents separated, they went back to their siblings and parents, bridging that gap that was put in place. At that point I was already starting to cut out my parents, leading me to ignore their attempts to connect me with extended family. After everything that's happened to me, I don't feel like I can forgive my immediate family for their actions. I can still clearly remember some of the things that were said to me, and how they treated me. For example, I was left alone in the house all day on my sixth birthday. I don't have any memories earlier than that point, which scares me. At around eight, I was told that I was viewed as the family slave. My mother even said "why else do you think we had you?" when I got upset about it. After that I was outright treated as the family slave, with my siblings hurling expletive's at me if I didn't do the dishes when they wanted me to. There's a lot of other things that happened that I won't cover here, as it'll take me over the character limit for starters. Additionally, I wanted to provide some background to help give anyone reading this a better idea of my situation. I would feel more inclined to forgive them if they proved they'd changed, which hasn't happened. People are frequently told to forgive others, but in this case I don't think I can do it. Am I trying to force this too early, or are there just some things can't can't be forgiven? Thank you to anyone who read through this post. Regards, DisplayName5742

Abbat In laws issues
  • replies: 2

Have had 14 yrs problems with my in laws. Notably mil and fil. I have no parents as mine died a long time ago when I was younger. I am essentially alone. Having met husband and dated for a while, he moved into my flat and we lived there for a while. ... View more

Have had 14 yrs problems with my in laws. Notably mil and fil. I have no parents as mine died a long time ago when I was younger. I am essentially alone. Having met husband and dated for a while, he moved into my flat and we lived there for a while. I sold my flat and we headed to his home town. There I bought a house which I put into both our names. Fast forward four years. I was drug raped. No one believed me. Especially mil. Mil informed me that I must go back to where I came from and husband will be "fine in the house without you" (That I paid for). I go back to my home town. Husband follows me. We sell house. We rent. Eventually husband finds problems with his jobs. A regular occurrence and a lot of job hopping he does. We decide to move to a coastal town. We rent. Mil and fil decide to visit for Christmas. All our belongings were in storage. Visit was ok. Husband and I paid for everything. Then husband's job going badly so we have to move again. This time we stay in the place for a few years. Mil and fil visit again for Christmas. Mil rings Prior to visit. She asks if I have all my belongings with me. They stay with us in our home. Husband goes back to work after Christmas. All ok until then. They got me on my own, fil said "where are your valuables!" Very aggressively. I said I had given them to my cousin for safekeeping. A lie. I had hidden them away. They stayed for 5 weeks. During which time they made many trips with laden bags to the local op shop that I volunteered in. I was so busy cleaning and cooking for them that I had to cancel my volunteer Work whilst they were there. i did not realise that it was strange that they were donating things to the op shop when they were guests in our home. What could they be taking there? Before they left they shouted at me and told me I was useless as I did not have a job, they said their other Dil was so much better than me and had a career, they tried to Bait me but I did not react. My husband sat through their entire rant without standing up for me. After they left I discovered my family heirlooms were gone including my mother's jewelry, rosary, christening dress, her needlework, my stamp albums, ornaments and my great grandmother's collection of silk and lace. Mil rang and told me I must go to the op shop. I could not understand why. I found remnants at op shop, realised that is where they had donated my belongings, but could not trace them. I am v upset, personal family heirlooms. I can't accuse them.

Scapegoated I am a model and because of mean things my mother said to me I worry constantly about my appearance
  • replies: 3

I think I have body dysmorphia because I spend a lot of time thinking abolut the appearance of my nose. Even though I have modeled for years I still think it is not right and my mother and older sister were jealous of me when I was little and said th... View more

I think I have body dysmorphia because I spend a lot of time thinking abolut the appearance of my nose. Even though I have modeled for years I still think it is not right and my mother and older sister were jealous of me when I was little and said things about my appearance because my adult sibling came to the agency (modelling) and they did not accept her. Ever since then she has criticized everything about me and i was just wondering if anyone else here has experienced constant criticism and emotional abuse. I feel it is like stalking-watchung until I make a mistake then piouncing on me. It is really hard because i still have 2 years of school to finish before I can be rid of these abusers. I love my father but he was not strong enough to get away form my mother's constant abuse. She emotionally abuses him too. She manipulates him into thinking he could not do anything without her but his success is based solely on his intelligence. He doesn;t see that but I do. There are things i don;t see like how everyone says I am pretty I am thinking about the mean things my mother and sister said. I think it is a defence mechanism so that I don;t get conceited but trust me i am far from that. I have obsessive thoughts about my appearance because of how they hurt me.