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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Buu79 Domestic violence trauma
  • replies: 1

Hi not sure how to start this story as it's quite difficult I come from a background of F&DV and Child sexual abuse, my father used to assault my mum nearly everyday he used to physically assault me and my brother's and my dad was messed up badly on ... View more

Hi not sure how to start this story as it's quite difficult I come from a background of F&DV and Child sexual abuse, my father used to assault my mum nearly everyday he used to physically assault me and my brother's and my dad was messed up badly on drugs, once we got older we left home my parents divorced and my brother went with mum I went my own way I had a job where I thought one of the workers there was quite good looking but apparently he had a family anyway we ended up catching up and we fell in love he was charming and bought me jewelry and flowers and treated me special, then I got pregnant to him and everything changed he threatened to physically harm me while pregnant, this should have been my first red flag, but next time I seen him and mentioned it he said sorry he was joking but I had noticed his demeanor had changed and he was happier than usual, then just before our daughter turned one he told us get ready he was going to take us out for lunch we got ready waited..3 yrs went by before he stuck his head back into our happy lived, again I let him back into our lives not knowing that he was a full blown drug addict, I had been clean since he left. he was very cruel person even to our daughter and dog, boxing Day 2009 after he had collected his drugs and introduced me to the chick he was cheating on me with he decided to badly assault me in the car. you have no idea how many times I wanted to run the car into the barrier on his side, I was looking for police on motorbikes but nothing..... It's been 12 years now but we are still in hiding because he's threaten to kidnap me or my daughter and torture us for 3 years he spent in jail... Does anyone else have this kind of daily worry

Ell91 Not sure how to tell my family (rape)
  • replies: 2

When I was 11, my virginity was taken by a man from rape in my home.I never told anyone in my family, and after a few months I told some friends at school and they shamed me, accusing me of making up lies and that I didn't realise what I was saying a... View more

When I was 11, my virginity was taken by a man from rape in my home.I never told anyone in my family, and after a few months I told some friends at school and they shamed me, accusing me of making up lies and that I didn't realise what I was saying as rape is a serious accusation. I learnt to keep my mouth shut and as I grew older, I started to feel safe to share with some people that "my virginity was taken non-conconsensually", as this felt not as serious as using the word rape. For me, it removed the weight of the experience and this was reflected in how people responded to it. "Oh, that sucks!". I started self-harming when I was 13. I stopped and started over the next 2 decades and was in and out of therapy.I am now 33, in therapy with a fantastic therapist (finally), recently diagnosed with PTSD and everything is bubbling to the surface. Certain friends know, I'm claiming that I was raped and being clear about it. My partner knows but for some reason I feel that I want my family to know. It happened while they were home, only a door between me, my rapist and them. I don't know exactly why I want to tell them, maybe to explain away my mental health history? And for some other reason I feel the words get trapped in my throat just at the thought of approaching the conversation. How would I even start it? How could I explain my reasons for wanting to share? What's the point? Is it self-serving to relieve myself of the desire to tell them and burden them with the knowing? Why now? So many questions. It would be helpful to receive reflections, your own personal experience with sharing with important figures in your life, even advice. Thank you for this space.

Laney-BB1234 idk
  • replies: 1

Ok so i have a lot to sayFirstly im lesbian, have been since last year, and my parents went through my phone a few months ago, found chats where i was s3xually explicit with girls and they were PISSED. They are very religious and very very homophobic... View more

Ok so i have a lot to sayFirstly im lesbian, have been since last year, and my parents went through my phone a few months ago, found chats where i was s3xually explicit with girls and they were PISSED. They are very religious and very very homophobic :((( that rlly damaged my mental health and they still make remarks about it and i currently have a gf and i dont know how to hide her from them and i dont want to break up either, even though ik safety wise itd be better for meSecondly, last year i was r@ ped by someone. i dont want to go into too many details but it shattered my mental health and caused me to s3lf h@r m quite frequently. I havent told anyone except for my friend and my gf (both of who were very understanding and compassionate) but im terrified ill be too scared for intimacy or the trauma will plague me forever and i just dont knowI want to talk to our school based youth therapist about both things but will they tell my parents anything??? i dont know how confidential it is, they (parents) dont know about the @ssault/h @rming cause i know them well enough to know theyd just blame me and say i deserved it.I dont like my parents at all omg.I think thats basically all i wanted to say, if anyone has advice or comforting words or their own experiences i would deeply appreciate it Laney.

Guest_26263721 Fear of family is going to kill me
  • replies: 3

I don’t really know how to word it but my family is amazing i love them so much and they do everything for me i’ve never had any problems with them other then arguments with my dad. at night when i go to bed i have a constant fear they are going to s... View more

I don’t really know how to word it but my family is amazing i love them so much and they do everything for me i’ve never had any problems with them other then arguments with my dad. at night when i go to bed i have a constant fear they are going to stab me or kill me while i’m sleeping, but sometimes i’m scared i would be the one to kill them and i know i would never but at night i feel so much fear i can’t even walk to the bathroom cause i’m scared. i also have a fear that i will walk into my dad taking his life and it scares me bc we don’t have the best relationship. i can’t tell my family how i feel bc i’m scared they will be frighten by me what do i do ?

Vanysvv I dont trust anyone anymore
  • replies: 2

Hi, im female 31years old.. My childhood was messed up. In abuse relationship for 3 times.When something bad happen to me, my brain automatically forget the details of accident,. And i continued my life as nothing ever happened to me. And recently i ... View more

Hi, im female 31years old.. My childhood was messed up. In abuse relationship for 3 times.When something bad happen to me, my brain automatically forget the details of accident,. And i continued my life as nothing ever happened to me. And recently i been in domestic violence. The most bad one i been thro, and again i forget what happen and after few month something trigger me and I remembered everything that have happenned to me. everything felt came to end. I been thro something hell and end up been diagnosed with major depression and cptsd.Its almost 3 week now i cant go out from my house, a week with trial medicine. Do you think i will healed from this as im tired of life, i forced myself to get help coz i have my two cat depend on me.

Guest_95794607 PTSD and Burnout for educators
  • replies: 3

Looking to form a support chat group for fellow teachers who feel like they are challenged by the above.I believe that in these unchartered waters within education , PTSD and/ or burnout creeps up on us all. No matter what specialist area we are work... View more

Looking to form a support chat group for fellow teachers who feel like they are challenged by the above.I believe that in these unchartered waters within education , PTSD and/ or burnout creeps up on us all. No matter what specialist area we are working in. For me, it came from a Special Needs/ Inclusion/Indigenous environment. I love my work BUT my central nervous system had other ideas

Shosh General question for anyone who has experienced Sexual assault as a child.
  • replies: 1

Hi, I was violently sexually assaulted as a 9 yr old by 2 guys. Despite much counselling from a brilliant specialist I had (and still can't 50+ years on) never been unable to forgive my 9 yr old self for a really dumb decision which has had ongoing e... View more

Hi, I was violently sexually assaulted as a 9 yr old by 2 guys. Despite much counselling from a brilliant specialist I had (and still can't 50+ years on) never been unable to forgive my 9 yr old self for a really dumb decision which has had ongoing effects since that day. Logically I know that it wasn't my fault but it was ... I didn't ask for what happened to happen, but I did decide to go a path that I was not supposed to go unless i had friends with me. So yes, it was my fault.However my question is -- I have told only 1 un-medical person ever (the medicals in the know are either dead or my current GP -- and the un-medical person is dead now also. (Sad, but I am relieved) I have been married for 45+ years and have never told my husband anything about my experience. I think that to tell him now would actually destroy our relationship trust-wise because he would be devastated that I am too scared of his reaction to be able to be open and honest with him.So what is the point?Interested to know the thoughts of others - particularly those in the same situation. Thanks.

Empathic Husbands porn addiction
  • replies: 53

Ok, so I first came here when I needed help with my husband's depression but here I am a couple of months later and I am so traumatised and messed up in the head I don't know what to do. I knew he was alcohol addicted, I knew he was depressed but I d... View more

Ok, so I first came here when I needed help with my husband's depression but here I am a couple of months later and I am so traumatised and messed up in the head I don't know what to do. I knew he was alcohol addicted, I knew he was depressed but I didn't know he was popping prescription medicines or that he has a porn addiction too. During the course of talking to my husband and hammering him for answers I decided I would do the one thing I never imagined doing, I snooped. What I have discovered has left me in absolute ruins. In December last year over the course of 3 days he searched for and visited 52 kinky websites and signed up on 13 Kinky Dating sites. When confronted he of course denied it but I wasn't having any of it. To cut a very long story short I have discovered he is addicted to porn and has even watched it at home right under my nose. The nature of the porn has gotten worse and while I haven't actually viewed any of it judging by what he was searching for I can only imagine. My heart is shattered, my head severely messed, I cannot eat, cannot sleep due to nightmares, I have invasive thoughts - things pop into my head at any time and I'm really struggling to deal with it all. He has accepted he has a massive problem and wants to get whatever help he can. He is genuine in this and has begged me to stay and help him. The trouble is, who is going to help me? There seems to be so much out there for his addiction but all I can find is sites telling me how I'm feeling. I already know that! I need help to accept, move on and heal. I am so lost. I don't know who I am anymore, I don't know who he is anymore, I'm broken, sad, depressed and have been having crazy irrational thoughts. Is there any hope?

ABC01 Triggered by actions. Reliving Trauma.* Potential Trigger Warning *
  • replies: 22

Hello, 4 weeks ago my beloved cat was killed by my next door neighbours dogs. They had dug under the fence and I found him dead. We followed council laws and our property was safe for him,but the dogs dug under the fence and we didn’t see it coming. ... View more

Hello, 4 weeks ago my beloved cat was killed by my next door neighbours dogs. They had dug under the fence and I found him dead. We followed council laws and our property was safe for him,but the dogs dug under the fence and we didn’t see it coming. For 2 yrs we have lived next to them and everything was fine. When I found him I lost it screaming hysterically. I can’t get that image out of my head. The look on his face. The fact that it was just another normal day for us like the last 3.5 yrs,and now he was dead infront of me and in my arms. I haven’t been okay since. I have spoken to mental health professionals and am being treated for a variety of things. PTSD being one of them. I keep getting triggered by my own dogs, who had nothing to do with my cats death. I understand that. My cat was raised with our dogs and they all got along like family. They loved each other. However now,when my dogs pick up their toys and shake them in play, all I can immediately think of is my cat. My mind freezes,my body feels a flush of dread,it stiffens up and pain goes through my body.My teeth clench and my neck stiffens to the point my head gets a sharp headache. I understand that my dogs are just playing with their toys. There isn’t anything violent about it, just play. But my mind still goes there. Does anyone have any advice on this? Thank you for any suggestions. ABC01

Gia052 PTSD trigger warning sexual assault mentioned
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I’m 19 and currently in a relationship and I am currently struggling with ptsd due to multiple sexual assault incidents since I was 15. I am currently in therapy and have started EMDR therapy but I am struggling with coping with my traum... View more

Hi everyone, I’m 19 and currently in a relationship and I am currently struggling with ptsd due to multiple sexual assault incidents since I was 15. I am currently in therapy and have started EMDR therapy but I am struggling with coping with my trauma. I have periods of time where I struggle more with flashbacks and nightmares especially if I am asleep in the same bed as my boyfriend, I have panic attacks and sometimes my body can still feel the trauma. I have tried to explain this to my boyfriend and I know that it’s difficult to understand. I feel like sometimes he gets frustrated with me about it especially because I really struggle with intimacy now. does anyone else have problems like this with their partner, has anything helped?

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