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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Halecia I have a mental illness ,And I can’t stop Moving
  • replies: 1

Hello! I’ve just over come my anxiety depression moods and thoughts of self doubt! I had severe depression and anxiety my whole life. And I bit the bullet and caught up with an old close friend that I hadnt been close to or hung out in ages. - I’ve e... View more

Hello! I’ve just over come my anxiety depression moods and thoughts of self doubt! I had severe depression and anxiety my whole life. And I bit the bullet and caught up with an old close friend that I hadnt been close to or hung out in ages. - I’ve experienced a lot of family neglect and anxiety, due to a lot of them not being around talking to my Mum. I don’t connect with society and instead of being asked to, I get criticized by Health Professionals. I just want TO LIVE, BREATH And be close To ppl.

PinkDiamonds25 I’m a victim of image based abuse and I feel really upset and alone.
  • replies: 10

I’m a female in my mid 30s. I have children of my own. I was in an unhealthy relationship for many years. I had children with this person. During the relationship there were a lot of red flags that I should have payed more attention to but somehow ig... View more

I’m a female in my mid 30s. I have children of my own. I was in an unhealthy relationship for many years. I had children with this person. During the relationship there were a lot of red flags that I should have payed more attention to but somehow ignored. A year or two into the relationship he had sexual intercourse with me whilst I was asleep. He didn’t physically hurt me but there definitely wasn’t consent. a year or so later I woke up to him a similar incident involving my face. Near the end of the relationship I woke up to him taking photos of me and touching me whilst I was sleeping. I was upset after each of these situations, we broke up shortly after the last one. A few years after we broke up (so fairly recently) I was looking at some digital photos he had given me and found a folder full of photos and videos he had taken of me whilst sleeping without consent. In some of them he’s touching me intimately. min some of them he’s moved my clothing to get a better “shot”. He’s also recorded us having sex without my knowledge or consent. Even though these photos were taken a few years ago and we have since broken up, I still feel really upset about it and violated. Some of these photos were taken at the beginning of the relationship and others were taken at the end of it so this has happened on a lot of occasions and has occurred over a long time. Ive searched online to see if I could connect with someone else who has been through a similar experience but can’t seem to find anyone? surely I’m not the only person this has happened to? I know that it’s illegal to take photos like this without someone’s consent but most of the info I can find focuses on the nonconsensual “sharing” of intimate images and says nothing about nonconsensual “taking of photos”. The ex and I did sometimes send consensual nudes to each other throughout the relationship but this feels completely different due to the violation of trust and privacy surrounding these photos/videos. I feel really hurt. My self esteem is affected. I feel like this has affected my self value negatively. I don’t know what to do about it from here. I don’t know if I would be taken seriously if I reported it? I’m worried that my ex would just lie and say that they were consensual if I report it? I feel so betrayed and disgusting.

Guest_84728806 Teachers managing student behaviour
  • replies: 3

I feel like this is a taboo subject and can't find much about it. I'm suffering from PTSD from violent and aggressive behaviours from various students in a main stream primary school. I always felt that I was trying my best and unfortunately it wasn'... View more

I feel like this is a taboo subject and can't find much about it. I'm suffering from PTSD from violent and aggressive behaviours from various students in a main stream primary school. I always felt that I was trying my best and unfortunately it wasn't the case with managing consistent aggressive behaviours. Staff were conflicted with managing this behaviour. I have now lost my ability to work with children due to the exposure for over 4 years. I feel lost as I have been deemed to have no capacity to work with any children due to the level of exposure of violence I have endured. I feel lost and neglected.

Guest_09020871 Did it count?
  • replies: 1

When I was 10 my best friend said "how do you kiss?" As a child I had no idea, but now being older I understand what she was really asking and i had even less of an idea how badly it would progress from there. Me, a teenage girl now looking back on l... View more

When I was 10 my best friend said "how do you kiss?" As a child I had no idea, but now being older I understand what she was really asking and i had even less of an idea how badly it would progress from there. Me, a teenage girl now looking back on little girl me that never knew if what was happening was assault or if it was nothing. Today I know my answer. Sadly i have delt with countless accounts of this situation with her and I have also had 2 occasions with a cousin. I talked to my mum, some friends, counsellor and 5 weeks ago I told a teacher and a stranger that comes to skls to talk about sex, consent, assault, and more. I now know my friend was not just curious but what she did was sexualising assault and rape.I am proud of myself for staying strong, for speaking up and getting the help I needed. I asked the questions that were eating me alive, discovered myself, my experiences and what I want to do. I do now feel like I'm alone, like people can't relate, and I feel like I'm branded. I don't remember being asked out by anyone since, and I feel like I'm untouchable and unlovable. I pray I'm not disgusting or something. But the girl who assaulted me said I should starve myself for 3 days exactly or more, I've been called flat chested, flat ass, and all other nicknames for both, I've been called skinny and fat, ugly and pretty, dumb, slow, annoying and a yapper. But I'm also called pretty, sweet, kind, an empath, and so now I wonder? Was it my fault, did I lead them on, how so? Am I pretty or not, lovable or not. Am I perfect, average, or a background character in everyone else's story. I'm happy with where I am and how far I've come, but there's still questions unanswered I want to know. The fears these people created about my personality and appearance. I don't know where I stand. I love myself, can't stand my own voice in my head, don't like how I look most days but my strength and personality keeps me going. Idk if anyone's reading this, I don't mind if you aren't really paying attention, but I'm here for you so is many others on this site, if you need help, no matter how scary, reach out. Some people may say nothing, others may say to much or the wrong thing, but someone will listen, someone will be there at the right time, in the right way. Goodluck stranger. You got this

Guest_2613 Mother - Daughter (or son) Sexual Abuse
  • replies: 6

Hi - I've been going to therapy and working on my healing for some years now. I'm making great progress and life is good. I have had bits and pieces of memories coming back though. They are fragmented and mostly sensory... but when I put them all tog... View more

Hi - I've been going to therapy and working on my healing for some years now. I'm making great progress and life is good. I have had bits and pieces of memories coming back though. They are fragmented and mostly sensory... but when I put them all together it paints a picture of child sexual abuse from my mother, to me as her daughter. My mother is quite disturbed, has a lot of trauma herself and was extremely dysregulated my entire upbringing - and still is to this day. She was very emotionally and psychologically abusive towards me. But this isn't the story that one hears as often and it's so hard to find information online. We're so used to hearing about the male abuser - I wanted to post to see if others had any stories of female abusers generally, and also sexual abuse from mothers - maybe female teachers or relatives too... Women can most definitely be abusers too - and they go about it very differently to men, potentially much more insidious.

Guest_70646410 Greif & PTSD
  • replies: 1

A few days ago, I was informed that one of my cousins had committed suicide due to bullying, I wasn't super close with my cousin but this hit really close to home as I had attempted due to bullying. These past few days I've just been trying to distra... View more

A few days ago, I was informed that one of my cousins had committed suicide due to bullying, I wasn't super close with my cousin but this hit really close to home as I had attempted due to bullying. These past few days I've just been trying to distract, but come nighttime when it's time to sleep, everything comes rushing in. I have thoughts of it and see images in my head (the way she passed and the way I planned to). It's a weird feeling, I feel numb and sad and confused. It's hard because I know exactly how she felt. I haven't been sleeping well lately, getting less than 5 hours of sleep, waking up during the night, waking up early, which is unusual as I'm normally a heavy sleeper, once I'm asleep, I'm out like a lightbulb. I'm also feeling really confused with my feelings, I don't know how to explain it or how to cope.

Guest_15955900 Is it normal to struggle so much as a teen and does it get better?
  • replies: 2

I'm going to just get straight to the point. I don't want to trigger anyone, so I'll just summarise it with what my friend told me when I told her about my life: "It sounds like a princess story before the good stuff. Like Cinderella when she was wit... View more

I'm going to just get straight to the point. I don't want to trigger anyone, so I'll just summarise it with what my friend told me when I told her about my life: "It sounds like a princess story before the good stuff. Like Cinderella when she was with the evil stepmother, y'know?" Now my mum is sick, I've been rapidly declining in health (both physical and mental) and every time I tell people about it, they say it's just hormones or that it'll get better. Does it? I've tried everything I can think of. I've reached out, tried fixing it on my own, been as open as I can with others so that maybe they can help, and I even begged God for help every night for years, but nothing works... So does it get better??? We've been going through some financial issues, so that affects how much help I can get. Is it so bad to want that fantasy life that princesses have? I mean sure I know they're just stories, but if I look forward to having something similar (finding love or even just purpose in life), will I get better, or is it an unrealistic standard?

Guest_37342055 13 Years of Silence and Pain — Will It Ever Get Better?
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone,I don’t really know what I’m doing here, but I just needed to let this out. My emotions are all over the place.I grew up in a strict and lonely childhood where I rarely got what I asked for, so I stopped asking altogether. Maybe that’s wh... View more

Hi everyone,I don’t really know what I’m doing here, but I just needed to let this out. My emotions are all over the place.I grew up in a strict and lonely childhood where I rarely got what I asked for, so I stopped asking altogether. Maybe that’s why I feel so low now.About 13 years ago, I entered into an arranged marriage. Since then, I’ve been living with my in-laws, who were very controlling, manipulative, and cruel. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without a male companion and went through years of mental abuse. When I told my parents, their response was “it’s your destiny, adjust and compromise.” So I tried to do just that.But it feels like I haven’t truly lived. My marriage is loveless and sexless. My husband says he loves me, but in 13 years he’s never bought me a gift, a flower, or even noticed simple things like my favorite color. Sometimes I wonder if he’s gay, asexual, or just uninterested.I have a 7-year-old child who means the world to me, but I still cry almost every day. I feel like I’m in a cage, with my wings and legs tied. I’m not financially independent, and I don’t know how to get out of this.I guess I just want to ask: does it ever get better, or am I going to feel trapped like this forever?

Pyrolee Lost my job second time unexpected and deceived
  • replies: 1

I’ve recently lost my job for the second time during probation period, it was a job I was after and had no issues leading to my dismissal, the boss was friendly at the stage and came off as supportive, I’ve got two kids as well and he’s got two kids ... View more

I’ve recently lost my job for the second time during probation period, it was a job I was after and had no issues leading to my dismissal, the boss was friendly at the stage and came off as supportive, I’ve got two kids as well and he’s got two kids as well, seemed like everything was fine and on trackUnexpectedly he gave me the flick final day of my probation and asked to return everything and said it was a business decision. Now I’m unemployed with two loving kids and a wife in distress and feel like giving it all up, I can’t cause my kids need a father but everyday I feel like what’s the point, I’ve been lied to, everything in my life crushed and falling apart, nothings working out for me but it’s like this everyday, waking up and being like I’m in this same pickle everyday, get a job, get lied to, go out have a go, people put you down cause you’re of different ethnicity, it’s all getting too much, what do I do? I feel like I can’t talk and trust people anymore and feel sad and what’s the point, can’t catch a break

Guest_10266 Trauma, neglect - or?
  • replies: 1

When I was 5ish, my mum started dating a new guy. We moved in with him, but we as kids (2 girls <7) didn't move in as such, he had a bungalow out the back which was transformed into our 'bedroom'. Of a night, the back door was locked (deadbolt) we we... View more

When I was 5ish, my mum started dating a new guy. We moved in with him, but we as kids (2 girls <7) didn't move in as such, he had a bungalow out the back which was transformed into our 'bedroom'. Of a night, the back door was locked (deadbolt) we were only really allowed inside for meal times, (toilet/shower was put in in out-house laundry room) From age 8+ for myself I was expected to get myself to/from school, that was ok as it wasn't far away. Once I moved schools 9/10+, I then had to get public transport myself (to and from school) not only this, but we were reprimanded a lot from the bf. If we didn't do as told (ie water flowers before school, pick up dog poo, clean room etc) we were given PAGES, not just lines like they do in school, actual pages. 50+ if we did wrong (of lines), I barely had/allowed a social life... my father fought for quite a few years for better treatment of us, but ended up giving up (never came back and moved to Qld without a word) my mother allowed this treatment for 8+ years, 'she did her best'. We were left alone for a fair bit of time on continuous occassions. We would frequently be at a caravan park for 'holidays' a lot of the parents saw issues with this, with how we were treated. My mother only cares for social status, I have 3 kids and they have grown to learn that my mother only cares about what others thing, doesn't actually care for them as ppl (A lot more that I can't fit in to post occured) I'm now at the age of 39 and hubby is helping me see different. My mother and older sister see themselves as 'perfect' and don't do wrong. When I've in the past tried to approach the issue with my mum, I am met with 'sorry I was such a bad much' 'i did the best I could'. I don't know how to deal with/get over the trauma/issues I feel... I don't want to keep feeling broken.

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