PTSD and Trauma

I’m a man and I’m a misandrist

replies: 3

I’ve been on the forum twice. Both for issues that arise in the moment, but something new always comes up. I would hesitate to change, change, flake and then the next issue would arise. That ‘flake’ always confused me, but I kept going on cause I tho... View more

I’ve been on the forum twice. Both for issues that arise in the moment, but something new always comes up. I would hesitate to change, change, flake and then the next issue would arise. That ‘flake’ always confused me, but I kept going on cause I thought that everyone goes through their ups and downs. That was until last week. There’s this friend of mine, a closer friend to my mate who’s a woman, that I’ve only met in 10 months compared to my other friends who I’ve know for 7-8 years. I had a 2 hour 1-1 conversation with, which I’ve never had with my guy friends, about some personal stuff that I would never see myself sharing. And that’s the thing, well I didn’t know it was the thing until today. I was talking to her about finances that had nothing to do with her but it did have to do with my mates. Was I a coward to not raise my issues and my feelings with my friends, perhaps. But then another idea came to my mind and I have to get it out before I forget to acknowledge it. And it’s strange because I’m a man. These feelings have made me feel more alone yes; but they also make me feel more safe, freer and happier. I don’t mind being more alone. But, I don’t want that resentment to fester further into the relationship with my dad or my friend. Part of me wants to believe that they are well meaning when they say “you deserve better” rather than pushing me away. Aside from self help, what are other methods I can use to navigate a) my trauma or b) my misandricism? I don’t want to close myself off.

Trauma and Forgiveness

replies: 1

This might be a lil lengthy I’m 24 years old, female, and as I write this I’m currently 74 days sober (2 months 13 days), and before this I had been consuming alcohol and weed (especially weed) to deal with my issues. Roughly 2 months ago I came to t... View more

This might be a lil lengthy I’m 24 years old, female, and as I write this I’m currently 74 days sober (2 months 13 days), and before this I had been consuming alcohol and weed (especially weed) to deal with my issues. Roughly 2 months ago I came to the realisation that I was smoking cause I needed to but rather out of habit. So here I am 2 months later. I started smoking initially because when I was roughly 18, I was sexually assaulted (R*** first experience to sex- and that’s how it went down), when I was 20 I was sexually assaulted again (R***), when I was 20 I was assaulted, When I was 22 I was assaulted , when I was 23 I was sexually assaulted (R***). The first time it happened I ended up in hospital, police came to interview me but realise “there wasn’t enough evidence to proceed with a R*** Kit” - people around me found out quickly and was labeled a liar, attention seeker those were the soft blows. Family, friends…. My mom broke my heart the most the things she said to me whilst I was lying in hospital… I was alone. Second time it happened I told 2 close friends who were there for me. The other times it happened I kept it to myself. Years later with the help of weed, a lot of it - I was able to live a manageable life- if I thought about it I’d smoke, so it happened quite a lot. And drank a lot but smoking was my vice. Last year the new got out about the second guy and what he had done to me and because he was part of the friendship circle I was in, everyone including the girls that I’d been close with ( mind u we’d known each other longer and we were closer than them and that guy) they all turned their backs on me and called me a liar and all sorts of thing- my cousin (who was my best friend ever) was sleeping with him (mind u she was one of the two friends I had spoken to… she held me as I cried…and all that time they were sleeping together). Anyways when the new broke this man started to harass me, asking these so-called friends of mine where a lived, sent threading videos, sending videos of my house saying he knew where I lived, sent a bounty after me saying he will kill me or get me killed. It was a lot. I had to move. Moving in with my “aunty” (one of my friend’s mom) she took me in she didn’t really know what was happening… now this friends mom that I had moved in w went on holiday and when she was on holiday we briefly spoke about the assault she said she believed me and she had my back. Long story short she didn’t, she was using me for information. Me and my old friendship group ended ip at a cookout even last year and whilst I was there the mate who’s family I was staying with had just got back so we went together- and argument broke out between me and the other girls about the situation and then I left after a while… whilst on my way home this mate of my calls the guy and tells him where I am… I went together her house packed my stuff explained to her mom briefly and then left. I didn’t feel safe. Fast forward to now, I’m in my own space, trying this healing and sobriety thing and ITS HARD!!! I’ve been consuming substance for 3 years + and now by Gods grace I’m 2 months sober, everything I’ve been suppressing is coming back up and it’s hard to deal with so I just push it down. Forgiveness has been in my head, but how do you forgive people who aren’t sorry. And yes I know for the most part forgiveness is for you rather than them, but still. I’m struggling!!! Hopefully most of that made sense. But just to summarise I need help with forgiveness and dealing with all of this sober.

I think I have schizoaffective disorder

replies: 1

Hi BB! I’ve been questioning recently whether or not I have schizoaffective.ive struggled with my mental health all my life and have a family history of bipolar,BPD, NPD, Clinical Depression and severe narcissistic trauma. I know a fair bit about moo... View more

Hi BB! I’ve been questioning recently whether or not I have schizoaffective.ive struggled with my mental health all my life and have a family history of bipolar,BPD, NPD, Clinical Depression and severe narcissistic trauma. I know a fair bit about mood and psychotic disorders as I used to study psychology before i got bad but lost the passion for it about three years ago. Since then I’ve not only lost passion for my hobbies but I’ve lost interest in having friends as I genuinely do not want to be around anyone as I feel they don’t understand. It’s not that I think people are dumb I just lack interest in talking about anything that isn’t something I’m passionate about. Maybe I’m a narcissist but I do care. I love my friends and family and I do feel empathy but only when I’m not having an episode. I got through phases of being amazing and honestly forgetting im unwell to not feeling anything at all to the point of almost committing. Either way I know I need help soon because it’s only getting worse. sorry for the ramble but can someone please help

reaching out for support that is much needed

replies: 2

hi everyone,im new on here, but im going to do my best to reach outim a full-time carer to my husband who has paranoia schizaphrenia , and now 7 years ago he has been diagnosed with FTD frontotemporal dementiahis only in his mid 50s , ive been on thi... View more

hi everyone,im new on here, but im going to do my best to reach outim a full-time carer to my husband who has paranoia schizaphrenia , and now 7 years ago he has been diagnosed with FTD frontotemporal dementiahis only in his mid 50s , ive been on this journey for 8 years now and its becoming extremly tough nowi have no family supports , no close friends anymore , my husband cant get NDIS as his from NZ but ive managed to get him my age care his behaviour is now changing again, i have been under extreme stress, carer burnt out, lack of sleep, i have my own health issues im dealing through day by day, i suffer from PTSD for 20 years, ive reached out to carer gateway , respite places, other organizations , my local GP, nursing homes , my local MPgiven the fact my husband cant get NDIS i have limited supports for myself and my husbandim finding my caring role is becoming a real challenge now, as im now mothering my husband and im getting very depressed more, it makes me cry inside and how cruel life can be , im feeling very alone , nobody to talk to anymore that can understand a caring role that is very demanding and complex .ive recently been sexually assalted by my husband , ive lost my best friend due to my husbands behaviours , he has day respite where he can go 3 days a week, but this is changing also as my husband has now become fixated on a worker at his respite centre , which now gives me no break and not knowing what to do.im beyond trying to reach out to supports , my husband is under mental health also , which ive several times addressed my concerns and seeking advise, i dont have much faith in mental health they just want to give my husband more medications to make him sedated more which i refuse to, as he almost died 3 times from mental healthi have tried several times to get my husband into a nursing home for respite for 2 weeks, but nobody will accepted him due to his under 60 , and a history of self harms, and he tends to run away to return home to me.if anybody out there has any ideas or advise i love my husband dearly, he never asked for this to happen to him or our marriagebut im on this journey with him, for better or worse or sickness and in health

Advice on how to deal with the need to constantly impress/be better than others?

replies: 5

I originally posted this on a different place but someone suggested I am a narcissist which I am not, and that was the only response I got, with no actual help or answers to my questions. Now let me start this post with saying, I have ADHD, I am Auti... View more

I originally posted this on a different place but someone suggested I am a narcissist which I am not, and that was the only response I got, with no actual help or answers to my questions. Now let me start this post with saying, I have ADHD, I am Autistic, and I have a lot of trauma from growing up undiagnosed and in an emotionally abusive and unavailable household, in fact one of my guardians (parent would be too generous of a word) was a narcissist so maybe the trait I am about to describe comes from them. I have this problem. No matter the environment, I feel this constant need to impress other people, prove that I am capable of doing great things and more. I am well aware that this comes from the childhood trauma as I pushed really hard as a kid to achieve a lot, and also punished for struggling. I had to constantly put 120% into everything to achieve maybe 50% of what other people could/expected of me and then I was told that I wasn't trying hard enough and that I was lazy. It doesn't help that unfortunately I do have a lot of skill and I did achieve things that people find impressing. (I get praise for some of my work all the time.) And just in general I feel like they way I come across to people is someone who should be capable of a lot more than I actually am. I feel like I cannot live up to the expectation people may have of me. I feel like a disappointment waiting to happen. Now I am uni, and I am finally studying something I am passionate about, however I am really struggling to focus on learning instead of getting good marks. I feel this need to be at the top of the class and to impress all of my teachers and classmates.(Also I am pretty sure a bunch of my classmates also have adhd a autism so I really feel that the pressure to not be struggling.) This is really interfering with my life and I had multiple meltdowns over this. Genuinely feel like i am gonna put a lot of effort into something (like my assignment) and my teacher telling that I should've tried harder. (This actually happened to me before).(Basically putting a lot of effort into something and its still not being good enough.) How do I deal with this?How do I stop trying to impress everyone and just focus on myself and my studies and my goals?How do I stop comparing myself to other people?How do I stop trying to live up to what I think is a perceived image others have of me?How do I not worry about wasting my energy on something that may not be good enough/approved by others in the end?

I have a mental illness ,And I can’t stop Moving

replies: 1

Hello! I’ve just over come my anxiety depression moods and thoughts of self doubt! I had severe depression and anxiety my whole life. And I bit the bullet and caught up with an old close friend that I hadnt been close to or hung out in ages. - I’ve e... View more

Hello! I’ve just over come my anxiety depression moods and thoughts of self doubt! I had severe depression and anxiety my whole life. And I bit the bullet and caught up with an old close friend that I hadnt been close to or hung out in ages. - I’ve experienced a lot of family neglect and anxiety, due to a lot of them not being around talking to my Mum. I don’t connect with society and instead of being asked to, I get criticized by Health Professionals. I just want TO LIVE, BREATH And be close To ppl.

I’m a victim of image based abuse and I feel really upset and alone.

replies: 10

I’m a female in my mid 30s. I have children of my own. I was in an unhealthy relationship for many years. I had children with this person. During the relationship there were a lot of red flags that I should have payed more attention to but somehow ig... View more

I’m a female in my mid 30s. I have children of my own. I was in an unhealthy relationship for many years. I had children with this person. During the relationship there were a lot of red flags that I should have payed more attention to but somehow ignored. A year or two into the relationship he had sexual intercourse with me whilst I was asleep. He didn’t physically hurt me but there definitely wasn’t consent. a year or so later I woke up to him a similar incident involving my face. Near the end of the relationship I woke up to him taking photos of me and touching me whilst I was sleeping. I was upset after each of these situations, we broke up shortly after the last one. A few years after we broke up (so fairly recently) I was looking at some digital photos he had given me and found a folder full of photos and videos he had taken of me whilst sleeping without consent. In some of them he’s touching me intimately. min some of them he’s moved my clothing to get a better “shot”. He’s also recorded us having sex without my knowledge or consent. Even though these photos were taken a few years ago and we have since broken up, I still feel really upset about it and violated. Some of these photos were taken at the beginning of the relationship and others were taken at the end of it so this has happened on a lot of occasions and has occurred over a long time. Ive searched online to see if I could connect with someone else who has been through a similar experience but can’t seem to find anyone? surely I’m not the only person this has happened to? I know that it’s illegal to take photos like this without someone’s consent but most of the info I can find focuses on the nonconsensual “sharing” of intimate images and says nothing about nonconsensual “taking of photos”. The ex and I did sometimes send consensual nudes to each other throughout the relationship but this feels completely different due to the violation of trust and privacy surrounding these photos/videos. I feel really hurt. My self esteem is affected. I feel like this has affected my self value negatively. I don’t know what to do about it from here. I don’t know if I would be taken seriously if I reported it? I’m worried that my ex would just lie and say that they were consensual if I report it? I feel so betrayed and disgusting.

Teachers managing student behaviour

replies: 3

I feel like this is a taboo subject and can't find much about it. I'm suffering from PTSD from violent and aggressive behaviours from various students in a main stream primary school. I always felt that I was trying my best and unfortunately it wasn'... View more

I feel like this is a taboo subject and can't find much about it. I'm suffering from PTSD from violent and aggressive behaviours from various students in a main stream primary school. I always felt that I was trying my best and unfortunately it wasn't the case with managing consistent aggressive behaviours. Staff were conflicted with managing this behaviour. I have now lost my ability to work with children due to the exposure for over 4 years. I feel lost as I have been deemed to have no capacity to work with any children due to the level of exposure of violence I have endured. I feel lost and neglected.

Did it count?

replies: 1

When I was 10 my best friend said "how do you kiss?" As a child I had no idea, but now being older I understand what she was really asking and i had even less of an idea how badly it would progress from there. Me, a teenage girl now looking back on l... View more

When I was 10 my best friend said "how do you kiss?" As a child I had no idea, but now being older I understand what she was really asking and i had even less of an idea how badly it would progress from there. Me, a teenage girl now looking back on little girl me that never knew if what was happening was assault or if it was nothing. Today I know my answer. Sadly i have delt with countless accounts of this situation with her and I have also had 2 occasions with a cousin. I talked to my mum, some friends, counsellor and 5 weeks ago I told a teacher and a stranger that comes to skls to talk about sex, consent, assault, and more. I now know my friend was not just curious but what she did was sexualising assault and rape.I am proud of myself for staying strong, for speaking up and getting the help I needed. I asked the questions that were eating me alive, discovered myself, my experiences and what I want to do. I do now feel like I'm alone, like people can't relate, and I feel like I'm branded. I don't remember being asked out by anyone since, and I feel like I'm untouchable and unlovable. I pray I'm not disgusting or something. But the girl who assaulted me said I should starve myself for 3 days exactly or more, I've been called flat chested, flat ass, and all other nicknames for both, I've been called skinny and fat, ugly and pretty, dumb, slow, annoying and a yapper. But I'm also called pretty, sweet, kind, an empath, and so now I wonder? Was it my fault, did I lead them on, how so? Am I pretty or not, lovable or not. Am I perfect, average, or a background character in everyone else's story. I'm happy with where I am and how far I've come, but there's still questions unanswered I want to know. The fears these people created about my personality and appearance. I don't know where I stand. I love myself, can't stand my own voice in my head, don't like how I look most days but my strength and personality keeps me going. Idk if anyone's reading this, I don't mind if you aren't really paying attention, but I'm here for you so is many others on this site, if you need help, no matter how scary, reach out. Some people may say nothing, others may say to much or the wrong thing, but someone will listen, someone will be there at the right time, in the right way. Goodluck stranger. You got this

Mother - Daughter (or son) Sexual Abuse

replies: 6

Hi - I've been going to therapy and working on my healing for some years now. I'm making great progress and life is good. I have had bits and pieces of memories coming back though. They are fragmented and mostly sensory... but when I put them all tog... View more

Hi - I've been going to therapy and working on my healing for some years now. I'm making great progress and life is good. I have had bits and pieces of memories coming back though. They are fragmented and mostly sensory... but when I put them all together it paints a picture of child sexual abuse from my mother, to me as her daughter. My mother is quite disturbed, has a lot of trauma herself and was extremely dysregulated my entire upbringing - and still is to this day. She was very emotionally and psychologically abusive towards me. But this isn't the story that one hears as often and it's so hard to find information online. We're so used to hearing about the male abuser - I wanted to post to see if others had any stories of female abusers generally, and also sexual abuse from mothers - maybe female teachers or relatives too... Women can most definitely be abusers too - and they go about it very differently to men, potentially much more insidious.

Pinned discussions

PTSD for Medical and First Responders

replies: 276

All discussions

I’m a man and I’m a misandrist

replies: 3

Trauma and Forgiveness

replies: 1

I think I have schizoaffective disorder

replies: 1

reaching out for support that is much needed

replies: 2

Advice on how to deal with the need to constantly impress/be better than others?

replies: 5

I have a mental illness ,And I can’t stop Moving

replies: 1

I’m a victim of image based abuse and I feel really upset and alone.

replies: 10

Teachers managing student behaviour

replies: 3

Did it count?

replies: 1

Mother - Daughter (or son) Sexual Abuse

replies: 6

PTSD and trauma

PTSD for Medical and First Responders replies: 276

I’m a man and I’m a misandrist replies: 3

Trauma and Forgiveness replies: 1

I think I have schizoaffective disorder replies: 1

reaching out for support that is much needed replies: 2

Advice on how to deal with the need to constantly impress/be better than others? replies: 5

I have a mental illness ,And I can’t stop Moving replies: 1

I’m a victim of image based abuse and I feel really upset and alone. replies: 10

Teachers managing student behaviour replies: 3

Did it count? replies: 1

Mother - Daughter (or son) Sexual Abuse replies: 6

PTSD for Medical and First Responders

replies: 276

I’m a man and I’m a misandrist

replies: 3

Trauma and Forgiveness

replies: 1

I think I have schizoaffective disorder

replies: 1

reaching out for support that is much needed

replies: 2

Advice on how to deal with the need to constantly impress/be better than others?

replies: 5

I have a mental illness ,And I can’t stop Moving

replies: 1

I’m a victim of image based abuse and I feel really upset and alone.

replies: 10

Teachers managing student behaviour

replies: 3

Did it count?

replies: 1

Mother - Daughter (or son) Sexual Abuse

replies: 6