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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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__kit Sisters loss
  • replies: 2

I'm having a difficult time dealing with the upcoming anniversary or my sisters passing. Two years ago I lost my sister to her 5 year battle with breast cancer. She passed away on my birthday. The trauma of the event has been extremely difficult as I... View more

I'm having a difficult time dealing with the upcoming anniversary or my sisters passing. Two years ago I lost my sister to her 5 year battle with breast cancer. She passed away on my birthday. The trauma of the event has been extremely difficult as I find it hard to talk to anyone about the way I feel. My mother makes the situation much more difficult as she has picked up post traumatic issues with paranoia. My feeling have been pushed towards the back and I am constantly made to feel as though my pain is not adequate enough in comparison to 'a mother losing a child'. I struggle with an eating disorder and have been for the past 8 years. I feel as though I an spiralling downwards and I cannot sleep at night due to my depression. I need help with how to cope?

Scargill Sudden death of my husband who had Dementia.
  • replies: 4

It is now almost 7 weeks since my husband was found neardeath on the floor of the Dementia Specific Unit he was in. He died soon after. The DR thinks it was possibly a massive heart attack. But they don't know for sure. He had been in the Unit for ab... View more

It is now almost 7 weeks since my husband was found neardeath on the floor of the Dementia Specific Unit he was in. He died soon after. The DR thinks it was possibly a massive heart attack. But they don't know for sure. He had been in the Unit for about 2 months & prior to that in a low care facility ( at the same place ) for about 20 months. I had written here before as I was very depressed. My daughter was able to come home from Canada for what turned out to be 5 weeks which was really good for both of us. She has found losing her dad so suddenly very hard. She is now back in Canada & I guess I am now finding that the strength I had to have for her is goin' missin'. I am getting so down, tearful & depressed again ( not suicidally yet thank God ) that I am finding it very hard. Now I know that tears are okay. I know that grief is okay. But the fact that my husband was the only person I had ever been out with, trusted & wasn't scared of is coming back to haunt me I guess. Yes, I was assaulted as a kid & a young person & so was very scared of men. Until I met my husband.He had been my rock for 45 years. I miss him so. I guess I just want to hear that it's okay Ellen. And don't be afraid to ask for help.

Namu 15 years ago a very good friend of mine took her life and I didn't get to say goodbye
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I just signed up today. I was feeling pretty good until a few days ago. I have my anxious days but there's always a reason for it - uni stress usually. But I read an excerpt of anacquaintances upcoming book at 1am on a freezing night and it's... View more

Hi all, I just signed up today. I was feeling pretty good until a few days ago. I have my anxious days but there's always a reason for it - uni stress usually. But I read an excerpt of anacquaintances upcoming book at 1am on a freezing night and it's been my undoing. The book is about drug addiction and the piece I read was about a suicide attempt. (Which she was brought back from). 15 years ago a very good friend of mine took her life. She wasn't fortunate enough to be in a public place. She had gone through treatment, rehab and detox during the time I knew her. She decided to move out of the city so we wrote letters and I visited her twice. She was going to meetings and seemed in a good place. But the letters stopped and I couldn't call her. I finally called her mum three months later to find out she had died a week after I last saw her. I didn't get to saygoodbye at the funeral, I just had I get on with things. It was very sad and weird. But I did get over it. Until I read that piece of a book. As it's all back again. This week I've teared up at everything. Had a stupid altercation with my stupid neighbour / landlord so home sucks too. My gf is away, my children are with their dad until tonight. I feel lazy and miserable and kinda pathetic right now. thanks for letting me just write that out. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Bella_Louise A lot of Grieving Going On
  • replies: 4

I am Grieving for the relationship I had with my Brother after he severed all ties with me due to my apparent betrayal of him I am Grieving for the Father I never knew and will never know now I am Grieving for my lost innocence and childhood after be... View more

I am Grieving for the relationship I had with my Brother after he severed all ties with me due to my apparent betrayal of him I am Grieving for the Father I never knew and will never know now I am Grieving for my lost innocence and childhood after being continually abused by my step father I am Grieving for what could have been and the opportunities lost. When you grieve for someone who has passed over, it is so very final but doesn't hurt any less. What I am finding so difficult is the grief is overwhelming. It feels like someone has died but without the finality of attending a funeral or celebration of their life.

pat_the_black_dog I havent recovered from the deaths of my siblings
  • replies: 2

Hiim new to BB and wanted to share my story. I feel like all your threads have spoken to me in some way or another and so hopefully can add something that someone else may draw from.My history starts from being diagnosed with adolesant depression at ... View more

Hiim new to BB and wanted to share my story. I feel like all your threads have spoken to me in some way or another and so hopefully can add something that someone else may draw from.My history starts from being diagnosed with adolesant depression at 11 and being on meds most of my life. I more recently took them up again after an affair and also losing my brother to suicide a few yrs ago and found i couldnt cope. My drinking and drug use got out of control in an attempt to self medicate and then my other brother died from a heart attack due to long term drug abuse. This only pushed my own abuse into overdrive. More recently i have attended drug and alcohol detox and am on my 22nd day of sobriety. Realising its a long hard road to come back from all the anguish i have inflicted upon myself. I am now trialing my 3rd different anti d in the last month and am scared andtired of the self loathing and being in my own company. I havent recovered from the deaths of my siblings nor the daily self punishment for my past/current actions. I feel like im losing grip. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Suze005 How do I deal with the loss of my 2nd Child, to what I believe, suicide.......
  • replies: 4

I lost my eldest son in 1997 to suicide, now I have just lost my eldest daughter to what I feel is the same. We have to wait for 6 mths for toxicology results as her autopsy was deemed inconclusive. I dont know how to feel or what to do After my son ... View more

I lost my eldest son in 1997 to suicide, now I have just lost my eldest daughter to what I feel is the same. We have to wait for 6 mths for toxicology results as her autopsy was deemed inconclusive. I dont know how to feel or what to do After my son died, it raised all my grief from a miscarriage I suffered about 5 years earlier, and this in turn made me all clucky and I desperately wanted to have another baby. I was just 40 and although my marriage was rocky, we had not just 1 but 2 then 3 more kids, with an oppsy at 45......... At the same time my daughter was also grieving for her brother but had met her partner and they too were having a family, so we alternated having babies for the next few years with both of us having our last 1 week apart in 2003. Soon after my marriage ended. After some years a rift happened with my daughter and I still don't know why, but she moved to qld with her partner and kids.(my grand-kids) Until last week I hadn't seen her or the kids for about 7 years, it was her choice to cut us out and try as I might she refused to have any contact with us whatsoever. It has been really hard trying to deal with the loss of those years and the loss of her. With friends relaying her recent posts on FB the state of mind she was in led me to believe her. I don't know if what I am feeling is self pity or the right amount of grief, I have my kids I have to look after alone, they have no (or very little) contact with their father, so I have to be there for them as well, and life, work, everything I am responsible for is all just too hard right now. I just don't want to do anything. Its all too hard.

Jo3 Anniversary of niece's death
  • replies: 2

This week is one year that my beautiful mixed up niece, at age 23, took her own life. I reflect back to all those years of no contact with her or her parents and it is very sad. I feel sad of the loss that we didn't get to see her for quite a long ti... View more

This week is one year that my beautiful mixed up niece, at age 23, took her own life. I reflect back to all those years of no contact with her or her parents and it is very sad. I feel sad of the loss that we didn't get to see her for quite a long time. She was a lonely girl who just wanted family, wanted her dad - but she never got him; never got to see him. I will remember my niece as a fun loving little girl who used to play with my children down at the beach, making sandcastles and playing in the water. Jo

Torn grieving husband, mother, mother-in-law, children, brothers and sister and myself
  • replies: 4

My husbands father was diagnosed with advanced melanoma 10 weeks ago he passed away 2 weeks ago. The day of his funeral my father died suddenly from a heart attack. I now have a grieving husband, mother, mother-in-law, children, brothers and sister a... View more

My husbands father was diagnosed with advanced melanoma 10 weeks ago he passed away 2 weeks ago. The day of his funeral my father died suddenly from a heart attack. I now have a grieving husband, mother, mother-in-law, children, brothers and sister and myself. As the eldest child I have always been the one everyone can depend upon. While my sister has been wonderful in helping my mum I still feel that this is largely my responsibility. My mother-in-law appears to be coping quite well whereas my mother is not my husband seems also to be coping ok but the amount he is drinking tells me otherwise. I miss my dad terribly. I can't enjoy anything as I keep thinking he should be here doing whatever it is we are doing. I want to cry all day everyday but I do t for fear of upsetting everyone so I leave it till bed time or in the shower. I just don't know what to do first. I can't be everything to everyone and I can't expect to "get over" all of this quickly but I'm just on edge constantly. I can't sleep with everything going through my head and I don't feel I can turn to my husband as he has his own grief to deal with. It's all too much !!!!!!

Stuck14 I'm not ready
  • replies: 11

I watched my grandpa die on September 27 2012 at approximately 11:45am, yet I haven't started grieving. I have completely shut it off. This also means that in turn, I haven't grieved for the loss of my baby on the 7th of April 2014 at approximately 3... View more

I watched my grandpa die on September 27 2012 at approximately 11:45am, yet I haven't started grieving. I have completely shut it off. This also means that in turn, I haven't grieved for the loss of my baby on the 7th of April 2014 at approximately 3:30am. My little angel who would have been 1 this year. I haven't grieved for my beautiful little dog Cadbury who was my fur baby that I had to put down or my other fur baby lily who is in a new an loving home. I haven't grieved for my grandmother who passed on the 2nd of December 2014 at 2:30am an I haven't grieved for the loss of my physical health that has ment I'm physically unable to work, an most days even function on any level.The thing is, it's all starting to bubble to the surface an I can't seem to be able to push it down. I haven't cried since the 26th September 2012. I'm not ready to accept any of this as my reality. I'm not ready to let go

Lily_28_ how do you move on from the pain and the loss of a loved one?
  • replies: 2

Hi there, I have been suffering depression and anxiety for about 5 years now and am new to this forum and the beyond blue experience, tonight I thought I would try something different as I am just struggling to cope at the moment. The usual life stre... View more

Hi there, I have been suffering depression and anxiety for about 5 years now and am new to this forum and the beyond blue experience, tonight I thought I would try something different as I am just struggling to cope at the moment. The usual life stresses of work/life/full time study and a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of almost 3years balance with a mental health condition/s I am also struggling with the loss of my best childhood friend that I suddenly lost almost a year ago. I think about her everyday and miss her more than anything. She was my best friend since we were 7 years old, I am almost 23. We never had any problems in our friendship and it was that one person who knew everything about you and you didnt need to explain when you felt sad or upset because she always knew. At the start she was my main support and as selfish as this sounds I now am unsure who I can fully discuss my pain with as my partner just purely does not fully understand mental health issues even though he is the best support and does listen whenever I need it. People always say it will get easier with time, but does it really? It's already been almost. year and it feels like I lost her yesterday. So much reminds me of her and I know she would want me to life my life to the fullest and be happy, but I feel as though how can I be happy when she is dead? Has anyone been through a similar situation that can offer some of their thoughts or feelings to share please?