Hi, Quote from a funeral director on a Billy Connelly show tonight
"Grief is like a doorway...so high you cant climb over it, so wide you
cant go around it, so deep you cant go under it....YOU HAVE TO GO
THROUGH IT" And quote from Billy Connolly "If ...
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Hi, Quote from a funeral director on a Billy Connelly show tonight
"Grief is like a doorway...so high you cant climb over it, so wide you
cant go around it, so deep you cant go under it....YOU HAVE TO GO
THROUGH IT" And quote from Billy Connolly "If death was with us
everyday....we wouldnt care so much about it" They say on average a
person undergoes grief from a death every 10 years. But they didnt
include marriage/partner breakups. And girlfriend/boyfriend splits that
can have just as devastating effects. If we were to 'expect' a death of
a loved one and (sort of) accept that we will experience such grief,
then maybe we can semi plan for how we are to manage our feelings at
that time. This sounds great eh? Planning your grief routine, What
rubbish!!! Lets re-read that first quote about the door of grief....you
have to go through it! But if we do accept that we will "go through it"
- the deaths of close ones and lets say none of these cases are any less
devastating than the last, then perhaps we can expect it to happen.
Wouldnt that assist in some way? Perhaps, perhaps not. for we know that
everyone is different in this terrible experience of grief. One thing
that has helped me and might help you, is to take that loss you are
experiencing- to the extreme. For example- When my brother died in 1979
at 27 from his own hand, my mother at the time said "I've lost a son,
not many people lose a child". At the time I lived in a unit and 3 doors
down from me was a couple that came from Queensland. Eventually they
told me their story which included the fact that in one car accident
they lost 3 children and the ladies mother and father. Thirteen years
later my father died and my mother said "not many people lose a husband
and a son". I reminded her of that example. It didnt sooth her pain but
it became a baby step to recovery. At a time when one feels they have
been inflicted with the worst of all blows, it could indeed be worse.
And the hands that embrace you at a service for the lost one...those
hands are there while some people lose so many members of their family
in one swoop or within a short space of time, it is a positive of sorts
that it could be worse. Yes, you have to go through it. Grief is not
avoidable for most of us. Even the seemingly toughest person on earth
cant avoid it. But it is part of us on earth in this life and we will
never rid ourselves of the shock, the despair and the sheer loss. But in
some cases, it could be worse. Tony WK
Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
