Grief and loss

My Dad passed away recently. My Mum died a few years back. Struggling.

replies: 7

My parents are both gone. I'm an adult with my own family but having lost both my parents while almost all my friends and cousins still have both parents and even Grandparents. I'm really struggling to get over the feeling of being completely and utt... View more

My parents are both gone. I'm an adult with my own family but having lost both my parents while almost all my friends and cousins still have both parents and even Grandparents. I'm really struggling to get over the feeling of being completely and utterly left on my own. I do have a brother but we've never got along and I am finding it's one sided communication as I don't want to lose touch with him but it's as if I no longer exist at all. I feel as if I have no family and am trying to turn my attention to my husband and babies but it's unbelievably difficult to deal with all of this. The other thing is I feel so guilty as I'm in Australia and my Dad passed away back home in the UK. I didn't make it back in time and he passed away before I'd even got on the flight home. When we moved to Australia a year ago I promised we'd be back to visit him hopefully in 2 years for a holiday. Of course, I can't believe this has happened and I never did get to see him again. Also, my Father's passing has opened up the old feelings of when Mum died suddenly. Now I miss her more than ever and it feels unbearable that they're both gone. My Mum was my best friend before she died and we'd only really bonded like friends over the few years before she died as I'd only just moved out of their house into my own place. Sorry, I'm rambling a lot. It just all came out when I started typing. I hope you understand as I've literally no one to talk to about this now. Everyone thinks I should be trying to move on and concentrate on my own little family. My husband is a bit fed up of me to be honest. I feel like a dark cloud in their lives just now. Thanks for reading. I hope someone understands.

How to cope with the loss of my Dad

replies: 8

I recently lost my Dad on New Years day after a 10 year illness. Each day it seems to get harder not easier. I feel like I have lost a piece of myself and I have no idea how to deal with his loss. I'm not used to feeling such overwhelming intense sad... View more

I recently lost my Dad on New Years day after a 10 year illness. Each day it seems to get harder not easier. I feel like I have lost a piece of myself and I have no idea how to deal with his loss. I'm not used to feeling such overwhelming intense sadness. I don't sleep, I can't concentrate on anything and I physically feel unwell. He was such an amazing man, an amazing Dad and Pop to my 2 young boys. I don't know how to process what I'm feeling.

time doesnt heal my grief

replies: 8

hi everyone I am new here .three and a half years ago I lost my husband and cant seem to move on. I have tried and even at times seemed to be on the right track. Then a problem would come up ,the house or extra bills and I panic and miss him so much.... View more

hi everyone I am new here .three and a half years ago I lost my husband and cant seem to move on. I have tried and even at times seemed to be on the right track. Then a problem would come up ,the house or extra bills and I panic and miss him so much. He was my rock for thirty years and looked after me when my epilepsy turned me into a vegetable. Bought me back to life again. made the decisions and sheltered me from all the worries. now I am alone and lonely and feel I have nowhere to turn. my local GP is run off his feet and doesn't even look at you ,let alone invite confidences. the nearest other clinic is 50kms. I cant make friends and my family are all living away. some days when I have no reason to leave the house I just stay in bed and read. I even joined the local mental health group ,we don't even talk.so that was a waste of time. Ended up at the pokies just to get out of the house and they became a big problem.so it was a call to lifeline and self barring .only way to stop that. Trouble is I am even more isolated now. am I just feeling selfpity? or am I heading for something much worse?

Unanswered questions - loss of brother

replies: 2

Hello, first off I hope everyone is doing as best as they can as I'm sure we are all here searching for ways to cope and to even understand other people's thoughts and processes. I have recently lost my older brother, he tragically took his own life ... View more

Hello, first off I hope everyone is doing as best as they can as I'm sure we are all here searching for ways to cope and to even understand other people's thoughts and processes. I have recently lost my older brother, he tragically took his own life without much explanation or warning. I do not know how or where to begin but would love to know if there is support groups or places in Adelaide where people who have been through traumatic events can come together as I struggle to relate to my friends as they don't quite get how I feel. As I don't truly understand how I feel... There is numbness, anger, sadness, love, all in one.

Fear of death or existentialism.

replies: 6

When I was 10 I lost my father to Aids. I didn't understand the reasons or the permanency of death. Now as a 30 year old I constantly ask myself how can I not exist? Why am I here? Why did my dad die? How can I not be me? It makes no sense and it sca... View more

When I was 10 I lost my father to Aids. I didn't understand the reasons or the permanency of death. Now as a 30 year old I constantly ask myself how can I not exist? Why am I here? Why did my dad die? How can I not be me? It makes no sense and it scares me to the point of tears. I have a 6 and 5 year old and I know that not only will I die but they will to. Does anyone else ever have these thoughts? Or is there something wrong with me?

Feeling overwhelmed & scared

replies: 4

Hi, I lost my dad this August he was 54yrs old & his death was unexpected. He had been sick for about 2 years but his disease was always making him sick & then he would get better again. My sister & I left in May this year to travel Europe for 4 mont... View more

Hi, I lost my dad this August he was 54yrs old & his death was unexpected. He had been sick for about 2 years but his disease was always making him sick & then he would get better again. My sister & I left in May this year to travel Europe for 4 months & then live in London we both quit our jobs & where just wanting to find ourselves. Dad seemed like he was doing better so off we went & 3 months in we had to urgently return home, we got 5 days with him although he was never conscious we got to be by his side when he passed. There is just so much regret & guilt now. I'm just lost I have to find a new job & be in a home without him. At the moment me, my sister & mum don't really talk about what we are feeling, it scares me to know how bad they hurt I hate it. I feel like I have no direction anymore our whole world is different & I just feel anxious. I have an interview tomorrow & im so stressed about it, it feels like once I have job reality is going to hit. My sister & I couldn't wait to get out of our sydney. Now we are back here & trying to face life without my dad. He was an amazing man & he held our family together. He didn't deserve to be taken away so early. I just don't know how to go about everyday life & be happy. Any advice would be great.

I think I'm grieving?

replies: 3

I think I might be grieving for my mum, problem is she hasn't passed away. she has cancer and so its inevitable that I will have to say goodbye, but I think part of my anxiety and depression is that I'm already grieving for her? I don't want to be li... View more

I think I might be grieving for my mum, problem is she hasn't passed away. she has cancer and so its inevitable that I will have to say goodbye, but I think part of my anxiety and depression is that I'm already grieving for her? I don't want to be like this, I want to go and see her ( she is in the uk) and I want to make the most of the time I have, but I feel almost crippled with these feelings. I want to be strong but I can't find a way to do it. i skyped with her yesterday and I was looking at her realising how I'll she was and how much she has changed and I cried and she cried. I miss her so much already I feel like I'm going to completely lose myself. i don't know if anyone will have any insights or helpful words, but I just wanted to get this out of my head and I will talk to my psychologist about it when I see him next.

Missing mum

replies: 2

Hello im am completely new to this, i havnt been able to open up to anyone. 2 months ago my mother passed away from cancer no suger coating she died scared and in alot of pain, i cannot even put into words how helpless and worthless i feel not being... View more

Hello im am completely new to this, i havnt been able to open up to anyone. 2 months ago my mother passed away from cancer no suger coating she died scared and in alot of pain, i cannot even put into words how helpless and worthless i feel not being able to help her. Ive lost my mum, the person who was always there for me always listened to me loved me no matter what happened. i also have just currently lost my home my pet dog and cat, i feel like im still stuck in shock with moments of intense sobbing that last for hours. I feel so lost and alone ( i know im not i have my 3 best friends helping me) but i cannot shake this feeling and open up to them i keep rejecting everything. So im asking everyone please Please tell me your story of what it was like and how you broke out of that bubble of depression, fear and negativity. I need your help

Is it normal to feel loss and grief like this?

replies: 1

Five years ago my dad died and it took me a long time to come to terms with it. We had a sometimes turbulent relationship during my childhood but we had finally gotten to best place we'd ever been and I was considering moving interstate to care for h... View more

Five years ago my dad died and it took me a long time to come to terms with it. We had a sometimes turbulent relationship during my childhood but we had finally gotten to best place we'd ever been and I was considering moving interstate to care for him but unfortunately that of course never happened. I cried so hard every day for a month that I gave myself intense headaches and even threw up sometimes. Normal? I thought so at the time as did my then-counsellor. After all, death is traumatic. After a couple of months I was able to live day to day without breaking down, though he still has crossed my mind literally every day since, mostly happy memories. So after getting a grip of my feelings of guilt and regret, this past month everything has come undone. I am suddenly having dreams about him every week which I haven't experienced since the year he passed. The other morning I was dreaming of him and as I woke, before I even opened my eyes, I began to cry. I lay in bed bawling and howling for what felt like an hour. I have dreams of him expressing disappointment in me or I'll dream that I see him in public but he ignores me. I wasn't always the best daughter and I am now having reoccurring feelings of intense guilt and self loathing. How can I go from being at peace with it to suddenly dreaming of him constantly and hating myself all over again? I don't know why I'm writing this here but I'm hoping somebody else who has experienced the loss of a parent might have some insight. Waking up and feeling like he died just yesterday isn't great considering I have finally been getting a handle on my depression and anxiety. This has all come out of the blue and it's overwhelming me to the point where all my old thoughts of self harm have resurfaced. Am I being dramatic? I opened up to a friend about it last week and told her about the past month and was met with "you should be over it by now" which I understand but suddenly I'm not over it anymore. How is that even possible? When I was on the bus yesterday I was just looking out the window and thought I saw him. For a split second I was 100% convinced it was him but then reality hit me and I felt like an idiot. Five years and that happened....it that abnormal? I don't even want to sleep tonight in case I dream of him again.

Grief, loss and other traumatic events

replies: 5

Hi there, I'm not sure if this is where I should start but Grief and Loss has led me to the position I'm in now. I have recently lost the person I thought was my soul mate and life love, not only that but because they know they are in the wrong they ... View more

Hi there, I'm not sure if this is where I should start but Grief and Loss has led me to the position I'm in now. I have recently lost the person I thought was my soul mate and life love, not only that but because they know they are in the wrong they have become somewhat psychotic. I'm dealing with a myriad of lies and harassment being thrown at me and I'm on such an emotional rollercoaster I don't know what to do with myself. I guess my main questions at the moment are, Is it possible to *develop* split/multiple personalities, Is it possible to develop them by choice, and what are the psychological effects? Sometimes I want to shut everything out so much, feel I'm under so much stress, pressure and pain, that I am able to shut everything off and become someone else for short periods of time, its basically still me but minus any background or history, if that makes sense...? I'm just existing. I have created an alias for myself, well 2, but they are online presences only and don't have any 'life' so to say. But there are times when I feel like I want to switch to BEING that person for periods of time. I have a very broad personality, like I'm not the same around everyone (I know that's pretty normal for most), but there are parts of me I feel like I would like to section out, like becoming 2 or 3 different people dependant on situation. For example when I'm around others I want to be the happy laughing fun me, when I'm alone I want to become the serious devoted author, and at work I want to be the standard unfeeling corporate drone to get through each day. So... Is it possible, and really is it healthy...?

Pinned discussions

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

All discussions

My Dad passed away recently. My Mum died a few years back. Struggling.

replies: 7

How to cope with the loss of my Dad

replies: 8

time doesnt heal my grief

replies: 8

Unanswered questions - loss of brother

replies: 2

Fear of death or existentialism.

replies: 6

Feeling overwhelmed & scared

replies: 4

I think I'm grieving?

replies: 3

Missing mum

replies: 2

Is it normal to feel loss and grief like this?

replies: 1

Grief, loss and other traumatic events

replies: 5

Grief and loss

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section replies: 0

My Dad passed away recently. My Mum died a few years back. Struggling. replies: 7

How to cope with the loss of my Dad replies: 8

time doesnt heal my grief replies: 8

Unanswered questions - loss of brother replies: 2

Fear of death or existentialism. replies: 6

Feeling overwhelmed & scared replies: 4

I think I'm grieving? replies: 3

Missing mum replies: 2

Is it normal to feel loss and grief like this? replies: 1

Grief, loss and other traumatic events replies: 5

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

My Dad passed away recently. My Mum died a few years back. Struggling.

replies: 7

How to cope with the loss of my Dad

replies: 8

time doesnt heal my grief

replies: 8

Unanswered questions - loss of brother

replies: 2

Fear of death or existentialism.

replies: 6

Feeling overwhelmed & scared

replies: 4

I think I'm grieving?

replies: 3

Missing mum

replies: 2

Is it normal to feel loss and grief like this?

replies: 1

Grief, loss and other traumatic events

replies: 5