Fear of dying

[needingempowerment]

Recently our family has undergone several deaths , my husbands grandfather, my stepfather and a close friend. I have over 20 years having had depression, and it has been diagnosed. I am finding lately i am continually worried about when my own time will be. I know that no one has the answer to when or how, and i understand it is nature, but i am so focussed on the fact that one day i wont be here and this is causing me so much grief and anxiety. I havea wonderful husband, and a three year old son, and the thought of not seeing them makes me have anxiety attacks. I am having morbid thoughts about it, and it is impacting my ability to enjoy life fully im focussed almost obsessing over it. I don't know if this is a phobia, my psychologist is on maternity leave so i am looking for a new one, and i don't want them to think im weird, finding someone i trust is really important to me. My own parents are aging, and the thought that one day i too will age, and die is so painful for me. What can I do? Are there any suggestions out there for how to help me deal with this continual worry? How can i get over these feelings?

[white knight]

Hi welcome

Of all the teachings I've had in therapy, the one that sticks in my mind the most is "am I being realistic"

This question my therapist asked during a bad time in 1987 followed my answer to his question about the weeks events. My answer would be for example "I'm worried my boss will knock on the door" or what if I get an incurable disease".

So he taught me to curb my thoughts away from unrealistic stuff. Fear of dying was also there and in that case one has to ask what is being realistic? Because humans are highly intelligent animals and they know they will die one day and that never ending question- 'where will I go after death'? So in effect it is a reasonable question but to focus on it too much will cause issues. Too little and (especially when young) you wont have preservation of life as a priority. T'is why young people take more risks.

Can I suggest one remedy worth trying. Keep busy. Find a hobby. Try anything. My wife joined line dancing and it is the best thing she has done for many years.

Tony  WK

[Pixie15]

Hi needingempowerment,

Welcome to the forums. I am not sure that I can supply you with empowerment. The surprising thing about fear of dying is that most of us avoid thinking about it most of the time. Having said that the thing the gets me through when the I cannot avoid thinking about it is choosing to have hope for my own future and a love of life. 

I have been following the forums for some time and when I read your post I remembered another thread that you might want to check out as well. It is under "Anxiety" and I have just found it on the first page because it was last posted to on 31 Jan. This is the link but I am not sure that it will work.

 http://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/anxiety/scared-to-death-of-death-

cheers,

Grateful.