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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Birdman Why I sought help. Denial is never a good thing, it catches up to you.
  • replies: 10

Hello, I wish to share my story as I think, hope and pray getting the feelings out of my mind to people who cannot judge me in person nor see my state, will help me. I will start by saying I have sought help through my GP and thus a psychologist. It ... View more

Hello, I wish to share my story as I think, hope and pray getting the feelings out of my mind to people who cannot judge me in person nor see my state, will help me. I will start by saying I have sought help through my GP and thus a psychologist. It took a long time, people telling me I needed to see a doctor for me to seek help. I never wanted not to be ok. I told myself I was ok. I was not. My mother had brain cancer almost six years ago. I feel I never grieved as I had to be strong for my father. Recently he passed away too. The first few weeks whilst things were busy arranging things I felt I was fine, I was however running on autopilot. Once all the phone calls, visits came to a stop I had a hole that was left unfilled. I was in the family home, with the memories and reminders and my support system, a neighbor who has known me all my life went away. I felt I had no-one as I had isolated myself from friends when mum died to concentrate on dad. I still have a couple of good friends and I think their presence saved me from thinking or keeping thinking no-one cared. I broke down due to pressures dealing with dad's estate that I am not going to go into. I could not stop crying in the solicitors office, and she told me I needed to go see my GP as it was clear I was not copping. I sat in the car outside the GP's practice for 20 mins. Eventually I convinced myself I had no choice as the solicitor knew where to contact my family and knew which doctor I was heading to. I convinced myself that she would "dob" on me. That was the only way I could get myself to go in. I did not make it to the desk before I broke down again. A grown man crying and not able to get any words out. It affecte me even now I am typing this. I was lucky, the recpetionist was the sister of a friend. She knew that dad had passed away recently and she got me in to see the doctor, who also treated dad. It took me a while to settle down. I am getting help now, it is helping a little. I am going back to ask for anti depressants as I am still not coping enough to be a part of society. It is or was hard to tell my family. They were not shocked. I am only at the start of what will be a long journey. I cannot get through a day without crying and at times it only takes a little thing to set me off/ The one thing I want to say is anyone reading this who has not sought help, please do. It is hard, I know it is hard. But it is just something you have to do! Thanks everyone for letting me rant.

HelenM Is my depression mutating?
  • replies: 1

My depression is hardly there. As it waved goodbye in May it left me spells of fear. I think it was Snoman who suggested it had gone into a new phase. Just lately I am really dogged with anxiety. I know it's a problem because today my Mum is travelli... View more

My depression is hardly there. As it waved goodbye in May it left me spells of fear. I think it was Snoman who suggested it had gone into a new phase. Just lately I am really dogged with anxiety. I know it's a problem because today my Mum is travelling up to visit. I feel so anxious. Yesterday I rang her and asked if she'd come another time as I don't feel well enough (I've never done that before). She wouldn't cancel and is going to stay at my son's nearby. I'm so nervy about it. Also I am worrying about nothing. So I think it is another phase. Someone said that in a way it's a step further forward. I'm going to ask my GP to be referred for mindfulness course. My overwhelming problem is my fear of never getting another good spell even though I always do. I think most people learn to be optimistic regading this. By nature I'm very pessimistic. I take after my Dad. But back to my question; does depression mutate?

star101 cure or treatment
  • replies: 3

please help me know is there a cure for depression and anxiety or is there just a treatment??

please help me know is there a cure for depression and anxiety or is there just a treatment??

angelite Darkness of Depression
  • replies: 21

My g.p has told me l have depression, why is that so difficult for me to accept. I feel too broken to be fixed, unable to help myself anymore or believe that l deserve to be helped. I spend my days in the car the only place l feel safe away from the ... View more

My g.p has told me l have depression, why is that so difficult for me to accept. I feel too broken to be fixed, unable to help myself anymore or believe that l deserve to be helped. I spend my days in the car the only place l feel safe away from the world. Through the fog and emptiness l watch myself slide into the deepest depression, consumed by hopelessness. Trying to find the strength to get help.

Nala123 Keeping my head above water
  • replies: 6

Hi guys,I'm new here and not really sure what I'm expecting from it but here goes!I've had extreme periods of mania and (mostly) depression since I was a teenager but was only ever prescribed antidepressants on and off. I was never referred to a psyc... View more

Hi guys,I'm new here and not really sure what I'm expecting from it but here goes!I've had extreme periods of mania and (mostly) depression since I was a teenager but was only ever prescribed antidepressants on and off. I was never referred to a psychiatrist or psychologist. I'm now in my early 30s and moved to Australia from the UK just over 2 years ago. The healthcare here has been so much better - I was diagnosed as bipolar straight away and started medication and therapy, although my medication is proving to be pretty ineffective at the moment.Life's been pretty turbulent since I got to Australia, with the breakup of my 8 year relationship and the death of my beloved dog amongst lots of other things. I didn't have any friends/family apart from my partner over here when I arrived and am now living by myself. I have made some friends but without a solid foundation of shared history it's not so easy to ask for help. I work full time and my employers are supportive but I've run out of sick leave from taking days off when I just can't face the world. I've just cycled through a mania coupled with extreme anxiety/panic attacks and am now on the other side feeling really depressed and alone. I've been to hospital and have an emergency appointment with a new psychiatrist on Friday to review my meds but I'm finding it really hard to cope with just existing until then without knocking myself out with medication. Unfortunately they're not good for driving and I crashed my car last week (nobody was hurt thank god). I'm exhausted from trying to keep my head above water, I can't afford to take any time off work and I just can't see how life is ever going to be manageable with this disease. I know I'm a nightmare to be with when I get sick so I can't imagine finding anyone who would want to put up with me but I hate being alone. I'd love to hear how you have managed to cope, what you've found to be effective and I guess mostly how you can learn to accept being alone and not rely on others to get you through the worst of it?beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Chibam Reasons for living?
  • replies: 9

I had a question for the "your questions answered" page, but apparrently you need to ask them through the forums, so I hope I've got the right forum. Sorry if I haven't. This site addresses the question "why commit suicide" and basically says that th... View more

I had a question for the "your questions answered" page, but apparrently you need to ask them through the forums, so I hope I've got the right forum. Sorry if I haven't. This site addresses the question "why commit suicide" and basically says that the answer or answers to this question are largely unknown or only partially understood. Could you please offer some insight into the opposite side of this issue? Could you please explain why people who oppose suicide choose to continue living rather then not live anymore? For some people, this question is as mystifying as the question of why someone would commit suicide seems to be for you, and I'd imagine that groups that are so resolute that life should always be prolonged rather then ended, such as your own, would be able to shed some light on this issue. I'm truly sorry if this question offends anybody. That is the last thing I'd ever want to do. But I believe it needs to be asked, and more importantly, answered. Thank you.

SubduedBlues Forgiveness used to be my strength
  • replies: 9

Once upon a time, the source of my light left me and she broke my spirit. When my spirit broke, she ceased being the light and became darkness. Now my ex has manifested herself as the dark shadow my despair.Last week that evil dark shadow hath descen... View more

Once upon a time, the source of my light left me and she broke my spirit. When my spirit broke, she ceased being the light and became darkness. Now my ex has manifested herself as the dark shadow my despair.Last week that evil dark shadow hath descended upon our house. That malignant despair has infiltrated the family home and taken root. The happy home of my children communing together in harmony has been dispersed. When they get home from school, the immediately vanish into the safety of their rooms. Their doors closed, that shadow of despair kept at bay.Our home is now quiet, so deathly quiet. There is no conversation to be heard. No laughter. No joy. I feel so down, beyond blue, it's now black. It's so very cold. For even hope has gone home. And I find myself so very alone. I would want someone to help me, if I though someone could. But I know, no one is coming, I know no one would. I am alone tonight, as I will be tomorrow. As that witch of despair tightens her grip upon me. I must break free from this woman. But she puts me down, she pulls me down, she keeps me down. I can't hold the grudge, it takes too much energy, I forgive her. I hate me. D'beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

onlysez16 My chest feels like there is a balloon inside it
  • replies: 16

Every day is different. Some days I am completely numb - I go about my day in a haze, doing what I need to, speaking when I'm spoken to, even laughing along with a joke, but mostly just floating along without knowing how I got here or what has been h... View more

Every day is different. Some days I am completely numb - I go about my day in a haze, doing what I need to, speaking when I'm spoken to, even laughing along with a joke, but mostly just floating along without knowing how I got here or what has been happening for the last 10 minutes. I automatically do what I'm meant to, and then go to sleep. Other days life sucks. My chest feels like there is a balloon inside it, pressing against my ribs, trying to burst out. My arms and legs are restless like they are waiting for something to happen. I feel angry or sad or scared or all three at once, for no reason. I can't stand the sight of people but desperately want them to see me, be near me, but please don't touch me or I might scream or cry or break apart in to dust. I force myself to breath. Then sometimes there are the days that don't stand out - everything is so light and easy that it isn't until the end of the day when I notice the absence of fear, pain, numbness. Those days don't come very often. I saw a movie once where someone said that madness can often be a choice. You can choose to let yourself fall in to the abyss, or you can keep fighting it. I understand what that means now - it would be so so SO easy to just slip right down in to my mind, to cry and scream and throw things, to become hysterical and numb at the same time, to mutter and forget that the world carries on around you and you need to just keep up. So I try to keep up. I've never seen a GP or counceller or psychologist. I've never been suicidal, though I do think about it sometimes. I don't want drugs and I don't think just talking about it to a stranger will make me better (yet here I am on the interwebs...) This is just how my life is, and I don't know any different. But I do want to know if I am alone? I hope so, because it breaks my heart to think anyone else could feel this way. ~ Sez

gremz The hurricane
  • replies: 20

i think everyone who has experienced returning chronic depression must know this feeling.When you know the darkness is coming but there's nothing you can do to stop it.the storm comes and your holding on trying not to be sucked up into the turbulent ... View more

i think everyone who has experienced returning chronic depression must know this feeling.When you know the darkness is coming but there's nothing you can do to stop it.the storm comes and your holding on trying not to be sucked up into the turbulent destructive hurricane that will eventually spit you out in the middle of no where with nothing, once again.i dont know why its coming and i dont know what to do. there is no point in working because i am (physically) sick more days than well. I try to catch up with friends and family but i struggle to enjoy their company and the paranoia sets in. not to mention the constant fatigue and irritation.I thought i was doing ok -much better than last time- but every time someone asks me how i am, i struggle to act as fine as i say i am.is there any way out, to stop the storm, or is this just something I continuously must fight each year until i get strong enough to stop letting it affect my health?Antidepressants only keeps me out of hospital.

HelenM If this is mild depression why does it feel so horrible?
  • replies: 50

Ok. Twelve years ago I had a depression that was so awful I am still traumatised by it. Over the years my depression has become much milder and sometimes my good spells have lasted for many months. Usually I come out of a depression within a few mont... View more

Ok. Twelve years ago I had a depression that was so awful I am still traumatised by it. Over the years my depression has become much milder and sometimes my good spells have lasted for many months. Usually I come out of a depression within a few months and maybe within almost half of that my mood is good. I went into a depression that was very mild 6 months ago. A few good days here and there. In April I could actually feel the depression lifting above me one day. My depression became milder still. And since then I've had a few good weeks on a couple of occasions. I've also had two separate weeks of totally irrational fear,believing I was definitely going back to that terrible place of 12 years ago. No amount of normal reasoning could change my fears. Each time it went within a week. Here I am now after several very anxious days - I think they're going now. My mood is mildly depressed. But if it's mild why do I just feel like screaming? Why do I want the day to be over. I will have another good day, maybe a few weeks. I know that it's the duration of it that's getting me down. It's the feeling that life will always be like this. The struggling to find the motivation to mow the grass later. The wanting to cry cos I've walked dog pooh in the house. The longing to enjoy my husband's company but even though I love him I feel too fed up. Compared to my first depression this is nothing. But I think that for someone who had never experienced depression it would be awful - they'd feel their life was over. And in so many ways my life has had to die bit by bit. Working, living on my own, being able to help out my kids on a practical level. I've adjusted to all this. I just can't adjust to feeling rubbish in my head for much of the time. Lots of people here have chronic mental health problems. They are all lovely people. The long term users rarely mention feeling rubbish regularly or for weeks on end. Is that because you are enduring these difficulties but trying to get by? Or are you going through a good spell? Do you have months on end of struggling? My GP sees me regularly. He says this is how I am. I do all the right stuff to help myself. My meds are ok. I think I've to just carry on enjoying the good bits and hoping I get a few months off again. On here I've been given lots of support. Still I'm coming out with the same moans. I'm sorry about that. I just find it so hard to put up with this even though it's mild. Thanks, Helen