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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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passingthrough Depression and negative affirmations
  • replies: 20

Hi all, I'm not sure how to use this forum to get help, and feel that I have nothing to offer fellow participants, but I need to try something at this time. I'm 34M, probably somewhat autistic (but undiagnosed) and been struggling with what I roughly... View more

Hi all, I'm not sure how to use this forum to get help, and feel that I have nothing to offer fellow participants, but I need to try something at this time. I'm 34M, probably somewhat autistic (but undiagnosed) and been struggling with what I roughly call depression. I'm currently taking SNRI antidepressants and attending therapy. Other than that it's hard to say what's going on with any clarity. I regularly tell myself these things, usually in threes and always including the last two:“I can’t do anything right”“I can’t do it”"I can't do anything"“I hate myself”“I’m a loser”“I deserve to die” I believe that this is causing me to feel worse, and creates negative feedback loops. I just want to know if anyone has any suggestions for how to either stop or ignore this behaviour. I've tried contradicting it ("I'm doing my best, and I deserve to be happy") and tried logically dismantling it ("Loser? I didn't realise this was a competition", "Deserve to die? Everyone dies!") but so far nothing has really worked. It's mainly triggered by rejection or criticism, either by my partner or me, for example criticism of my work performance or behaviour. I've talked to my therapist about it, but we haven't really discussed any strategies. I'm happy to read other threads, just don't know where to start. Thanks.

Hazels Parents and depression
  • replies: 2

I'm 16 and have been feeling depressed for a long while now and my parents don't care, I try on many occasions to bring up the topic because I'm at the point where I'm having suicide thoughts but they just add more fuel to the fire and I can't take i... View more

I'm 16 and have been feeling depressed for a long while now and my parents don't care, I try on many occasions to bring up the topic because I'm at the point where I'm having suicide thoughts but they just add more fuel to the fire and I can't take it any more I'm trying ways to try and cope

JJ1981 WANTING TO FINALLY VENT MY TRUE SITUATION
  • replies: 3

Well…I may be 43 years old. I’m supposed to be enjoying the best years of my life, living on my own terms, getting respect from people.But, I happen to be one of those people who keep “falling through the cracks” in Australia (as the Aussie patriots ... View more

Well…I may be 43 years old. I’m supposed to be enjoying the best years of my life, living on my own terms, getting respect from people.But, I happen to be one of those people who keep “falling through the cracks” in Australia (as the Aussie patriots would say - Happy Australia Day, by the way!). But if you understand my story (and it’s a long one), you would appreciate that it’s really a matter of having cracks made in front of me then being pushed through them! A lot of cracks…Despite me being quite smart, hard working and competent, I ended up in a profession that is thankless, should have paid me better, should have gotten a lot more respect and is now infested with backstabbers as my colleagues. I became burned out and started to veer away from full time commitments because of this lack of social, professional and financial respect.I wanted to start a new life in a new city. Although I was very grateful to have been there, I did not improve my income, make any real friends or find love. I did not get any increase in credibility in myself as a person, man, and future protector and provider. I had to resettle back in my old city (of which I despise so much because of the arrogance of its people there). Even that was not enough to stop my family from barraging me with criticisms about how weak, ungrateful and disloyal I was by wanting to move away from the people in my old city. My mother told me that this arrogance “happens everywhere”, is normal and is not allowed to be countered against - as a matter of being “nice and respectful”. And that I was “ABANDONING” them, which was never true!Being nice and respectful to a people in an Australian state costing me 12 years of my adult life, a $70,000 HECS debt (that would probably never get paid off), left me without any genuine social connections, no true financial security AND destroyed any credibility I have had with the people I care about?!?!?!I had another argument with her after so many. I now swear to myself that this will be the LAST argument because I am sick and tired of being scared of how she will react. My late father being a kind of enforcer for her didn’t make things any easier (even though he probably knew I was right - but don’t contradict the wife, if you want her to stay loyal!)I’m thinking about splitting my time between my old and new city, but my mother wanted me to STAY BACK because I’m basically seen as a loser! And I’m looking at even more criticism from my family!Despite me seeing one of the best psychiatrists in Australia, being on two separate mental health medications and being a patient in two mental hospitals, this is the legacy of which I am really trying to shake off but don’t think I can ever recover from. Me having a recent broken leg didn’t make things any better - I never want it to happen again. On top of all health problems related to my psychological stress ranging from obesity (of which I worked really hard to drop) to sleep apnoea, to depression and reactive anxiety, to testosterone deficiency.And, if that was not enough, I did not that there were some occasions when (sigh) some minor suicidal thoughts “tried” to enter my head. That had me REALLY scared! I’m crying just typing the last sentence. There is no way that I would think about committing it, but people are really trying to make it look that I have to attempt it before people start actually taking me seriously!I am feeling well and truly stuck, alone and scared. And, I feel that I will get into so much trouble, whether I step with my right foot or my left! Me not having anyone to talk to or help me out makes it even harder still. I honestly don’t know how I managed to hold out so well for so long in my life!The only remedy in my life is, really, to make dramatic, rapid and genuine progress in what I want to do with my life, everything from making constant decent money (as in six figures with the inflation happening here) to setting up my own family. But, I feel that any window of opportunity left to set things right is shrinking much faster than I want it to.So sorry to be a burden to anyone trying to read and analyse this, but I don’t know where else to express myself right now.

Jess8078 How to support someone who doesn’t believe in support?
  • replies: 2

Hi! thank you for reading! sorry for generalising, but what do men do to feel better which is not simultaneously bad for your health (like drinking alcohol)? my husband doesn’t believe in meditation, taking a breath, going for a walk or talking to pr... View more

Hi! thank you for reading! sorry for generalising, but what do men do to feel better which is not simultaneously bad for your health (like drinking alcohol)? my husband doesn’t believe in meditation, taking a breath, going for a walk or talking to professionals. (These are things I would do if feeling blue). I have told him to take “me” time. He took a long time off work (2yrs) which I supported to reduce his stress levels, but it honestly didn’t help much. I was working full time, and was still more relaxed than him. The only time I see him fully relaxed is with a beer in his hand. Or out fishing (but that requires organisation and good weather…). any advice on how I can help him would be great. (And don’t say intimacy, well aware of that one and doing my best).

Moonbi93 How to cope after losing your job
  • replies: 4

Hi ,I was hoping someone on here might be able to help or offer some advice if you've been in a similar situation. I am 29 with depression & anxiety. I recently moved to Australia. I go through periods where it does not affect me and then I have turn... View more

Hi ,I was hoping someone on here might be able to help or offer some advice if you've been in a similar situation. I am 29 with depression & anxiety. I recently moved to Australia. I go through periods where it does not affect me and then I have turns and it consumes me. When I first moved over, I was incredibly excited to start our new life here and I quickly found a job at a company I thought would be a good fit for me. However, after the first 3 months, my manager confronted me with 'What is happening, you've lost your sparkle' this really took me aback as I had been working really hard, doing a lot of over time and trying hard to make an effort with the broader team. I did not understand where she was coming from and was deeply ashamed of myself. Anyways, from there on, work became progressively work. My manager intimidated me and I became so anxious I really struggled to perform. She micromanaged me, stood over my shoulder and would fire tens of emails over to me and snipping at me if I had completed the tasks yet. I was finding her incredibly difficult to work with and the atmosphere that she spread over the team was toxic. She would constantly call colleagues I worked closely with idiots, & one 'stupid... who can't do anything right.' I was then terrified at what she was calling me behind my back. 5 months in, I was literally shaking at my computer, there was no HR to talk to, I was too scared to tell my manager that I was depressed and anxious and that it was interfering with my day to day. I went on holiday 2 weeks and she called me at 7 before I left to say that my work had not been good enough and that I needed to return relaxed and with a new attitude. Safe to say this hung over me for the entire trip and I struggled to relax. Things were made worse as I had severe food poisoning in the last few days of and was hospitalised. My main worry was that my boss was going to kill me for not coming back as she had requested. 10 days after returning from my trip, she put a catch up in my diary for 2pm, I was told that I was not the right fit for the job, I made too many mistake, by 6 months she would expect more and that she wanted me to leave immediately and say goodbye to the team. I found this extremely humiliating, she didn't even give me an opportunity to say anything. I am now struggling with how to move forward and find new work and regain my confidence.

HarleyTheDragon Caught up on everything.
  • replies: 1

I don't know what I was dealing with, whether it's naivety, being unrealistic, or other feelings. During the past few years, I have made terrible choices and that was spending a lot of money on strip clubs just so I won't think about my ex-girlfriend... View more

I don't know what I was dealing with, whether it's naivety, being unrealistic, or other feelings. During the past few years, I have made terrible choices and that was spending a lot of money on strip clubs just so I won't think about my ex-girlfriend who fell for some guy at the internet gaming cafe in 2010. I got emotionally attached to one of the strippers whom I known since 2022 like as if she was a great friend, and now I finally learned the real truth about those "professionals" I don't know if I really want to make the pain go away. I feel I am emotionally hurt, I just unfollowed them on social media because I felt completely stupid and realize it was their job to be "kind" and "nice" when in fact most strippers are not very nice. I was careful with spending money sometimes. I don't think there is much good things for me to do other than going to internet gaming cafes, playing videogames so I decide to move on from strip clubs.

Guest_39457169 Help selling property & relocating BPD
  • replies: 1

Hi,Im in a messy situation, Ive found out last year I have BPD/ADHD which my family & Dr have held from me for atleast 5years.Im supposed to have help from NDIS which is approved I have an ineffective SC & funding was done using old reference so does... View more

Hi,Im in a messy situation, Ive found out last year I have BPD/ADHD which my family & Dr have held from me for atleast 5years.Im supposed to have help from NDIS which is approved I have an ineffective SC & funding was done using old reference so doesn't help my needs & cant see OT for a month to rectify it.I am working day & night trying to fix my house up to sell before it gets repossessed but Im not confident in making good decisions anymore so was wondering if anyone knew where I can get help with financial advising & relocating from Adelaide to Victoria?thanks

Guest_81935925 die
  • replies: 1

My bf broke up with me because he cheated on me while I was in Japan. I trusted him that he said we would be together and think VISA and future. We had been living together for one year. Idk what happened. I can't live without him. He already have ne... View more

My bf broke up with me because he cheated on me while I was in Japan. I trusted him that he said we would be together and think VISA and future. We had been living together for one year. Idk what happened. I can't live without him. He already have new woman. I tidied up my stuff from his house. I did my best to live together for our happiness. He said he was just making me happy, not for himself. he said "just happened" I'm frustrated and sad

Laura68 Tired of Stuggling
  • replies: 8

Hi. First off I never realised that such a forum existed. I have struggled with (but have just recently admitted it) to mental health problems all of my life. I have always been 'to busy' or 'don't have time' to tackle things head on. Anyway, my stor... View more

Hi. First off I never realised that such a forum existed. I have struggled with (but have just recently admitted it) to mental health problems all of my life. I have always been 'to busy' or 'don't have time' to tackle things head on. Anyway, my story is full of undiagnosed depression and anxiety. I was hospitalized last year for a suicide attempt, and that still did not wake me up. Until just recently, I have had a car accident and wrote off my car, being fired from my job, am moving house, and my anxiety levels are through the roof. I can not sleep. I self medicate with alcohol which makes everything worse. Being a single parent I am used of taking care of everyone else and putting myself last. I have taken the big step to making an Doctors appointment tomorrow as I know this can't go on. Something is going to give. I hope he listens to me and I really don't know where to start. But anyway, thoughts and comments will be greatly appreciated.

Matthew 2 Depression is madness.
  • replies: 2

Depression (to me) is akin to an unwanted guest, one in which wreaks havoc, destroys everything & then leaves as if it were never there. I’m 27 years old, yet mentally I feel 72. I’ve delt with depression almost my entire life - silently, alone, by m... View more

Depression (to me) is akin to an unwanted guest, one in which wreaks havoc, destroys everything & then leaves as if it were never there. I’m 27 years old, yet mentally I feel 72. I’ve delt with depression almost my entire life - silently, alone, by myself.. to see me in person one would think I’m the happiest person alive, as I don’t fit that stereotypical (rather demeaning) look & “vibe” of that of whom is majorly depressed. My family, my peers & so on - assume that I’m a happy go lucky, calm, all together there person… rather to the contrary. For the past three or so years, I’ve spiralled so far down into the deepest rut of depression, to the likes I’ve never experienced before. I have no explanation as to why, well there are a few things that contribute to my depression, however not really noteworthy. To be honest, I don’t even know why I’m here (again) writing this paragraph. I suppose.. well, I’ve delt with this depression, this ‘black fog’, all my life, in silence - as I feel if I were to talk to those in my life, I’d just be burdening them with my problems, when they already have problems of their own. So writing this, on here, is a way for me to talk without actually talking, if that makes any sense. I simply don’t know what to do anymore. I sit here, every afternoon, after the day is done, and do as we all do, think.. & for some, contentment comes over them at the end of the day.. I haven’t felt that sense of profound contentment for some time, so long that I’ve forgotten what it feels like. Happiness, contentment, pleasure, profound positivity.. they all elude me as if I’m the black plague. The black plague of the 21st century; Depression. I’ve forgotten what true happiness feels like, I’ve forgotten my place in life, I’ve lost myself along the way. I’m broken.. and only one person can put me back together; me, myself. But how does one, who is broken, fix themselves, for if I’m broken, I haven’t got the means to fix myself - like a painter without his brush, without his brush, how is he to fill in the gaps - how am I to fill the gaps of my sad-broken self? If I were to try, I’d fail, yet again. These days, trying to fix ones self, has become so tiresome, tedious, exhausting & irritating, that I don’t even bother. Well, I can hear my name being called, so I suppose I should go, go & pretend to be happy. I’ve become so good at pretending to be happy, that I honestly think I deserve an Oscar. Matthew James.

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