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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Bayleaf Seeking glue for my House of Cards?
  • replies: 6

I am the happiest I have ever been and I have a great deal to be happy about. I live in comfort with most amazing woman who is, without doubt, the love of my life. I have everything yet quite suddenly I am miserable, lethargic and frightened. In the ... View more

I am the happiest I have ever been and I have a great deal to be happy about. I live in comfort with most amazing woman who is, without doubt, the love of my life. I have everything yet quite suddenly I am miserable, lethargic and frightened. In the dark moment, I hate myself and my eternal failure, I see my hopes, my efforts and my happiness as examples of my self delusion as I mark time until the moment of death. I have suffered from depression and social anxiety since childhood, "he's a shy boy". I've been taken to, sent to and gone to the doctor more times than I can remember, with little to show for it. For many years I sought refuge in alcohol to the point where it almost killed me and continue to live with the physical consequences of that. During those years professional medicine (UK) offered a choice between drinking and treatment for depression, I could not have both and I chose to drink although, on reflection, there was really no choice, I was physically dependent. Somewhere in The Last Chance Saloon I found an organisation called Turning Point and in 2010, with their help, I went through a medically supervised detox, my third. I believe that in getting and staying dry I created the conditions in which I could get well and my life could become better, no guarantees but a fighting chance and I have been one of the lucky ones, sobriety has given me everything or almost everything. In recovery, I have met and married the most wonderful woman, we have each helped the other through dark time and enjoyed good ones together and continue to do so. Without alcohol and with the help and support of "my angel" I have been able to manage my fears and depression much better but they both still exist and right now they are biting hard. Since arriving in Australia I have found a little niche within my new society but lately that niche has become less secure and my confidence has taken a knock. I am self employed and my work is physically demanding, I love that and it is part both of my recovery and my identity but in the busy run up to Christmas I overdid the whole thing and became ill. My reaction to physical illness has been predictable, but only in hindsight: "I can't do all of it so I can't do any of it, I am a failure, I am useless, my life is a house of cards and it's about to fall apart". Well I can't do it all but as to the rest: I can, I'm not, I'm not it isn't and it won't. This post is a gathering of thoughts, yours gratefully accepted.

Gertie_Rose trapped behind a screen of fear
  • replies: 13

Hi, I have PTSD. I'm getting better but I notice a severe lack of motivation. I've had about a week and a half off work and I just never want to do anything. I'm not engaged with life. There's a whole beautiful world for me to enjoy but I just resolu... View more

Hi, I have PTSD. I'm getting better but I notice a severe lack of motivation. I've had about a week and a half off work and I just never want to do anything. I'm not engaged with life. There's a whole beautiful world for me to enjoy but I just resolutely, stubbornly, WON'T. I just waste day after day lying around, sitting and reading, whatever. Whenever I get an idea to do something I have a crushing resolution that there is no point. And yet I'm bored and hate myself for never doing anything, being so unimaginative, being so boring, not making the most of life. How have you overcome that lack of vitality, fear of doing anything, conviction that there is no point in doing anything, resistance to fully living? What is it truly about, do you think? Where does it come from? What's the underlying belief? I've spent, like, a decade sitting around preferring to think and analyze, than to do.

Letsgethappy I feel like my depression and anxiety is ruining my relationship:(
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone, this is is my first post and it has taken me so long to work up the courage to make it. A bit of my background; about 3 months ago I had a complete meltdown halfway through a semester at uni. I couldn't function anymore, i didn't eat for... View more

Hi everyone, this is is my first post and it has taken me so long to work up the courage to make it. A bit of my background; about 3 months ago I had a complete meltdown halfway through a semester at uni. I couldn't function anymore, i didn't eat for about 4 days and I was scared of everything. I couldn't switch off after handing in assessments, I quit uni and my part time job and moved back to my hometown, after 2 years of living away from my boyfriend of 5 years, and family because of uni. I saw a GP who said I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety and referred me to a psychologist who I began seeing straight away. my psychologist has called it an adjustment disorder with depression and anxiety symptoms, and said it usually lasts about 6 months after the stressor is eliminated. I think my stressor was a combination of living away and the stress of trying to manage uni and a job and living in a place where I don't know anyone. My GP suggested taking antidepressants but I'm so scared, so I haven't got any yet. I'm writing this post because I really thought I was improving from regularly seeing my psychologist and being closer to my boyfriend and family. But all of a sudden I feel as if I have taken 10 steps backwards and I'm almost back to where I was 3 months ago. My boyfriend has been my absolute rock through all of this but over the past 3 months I'm constantly questioning our relationship and my feelings towards him. I don't want my feelings to change at all because I just love him so much but I feel like I don't know how to be in a relationship anymore. I don't have any reason to think that we shouldn't be together and I just want to know if anyone else feels this way with depression? I'm constantly pushing him away, but I don't want to be alone. He told me it's starting to get hard for him, and that he feels he has to walk on eggshells around me because he doesn't know what mood I will be in when he gets home from work. That completely tore me apart. but he's so positive and knows that we will get through this. When I start crying he cuddles me and says it will get better. I can't wait for that day. Sorry for the long post and it probably doesn't make much sense, I just blurted everything out at once. i just can't handle my emotions being on such a roller coaster. I really don't know what to do

Midnight22 Feeling the pinch
  • replies: 3

Hi I have been dealing with depression ,anxiety ,bipolar and borderline personality for years any one been able to stay functunal while living with theses disorders? Keen to chat to a person that has been able to work through life

Hi I have been dealing with depression ,anxiety ,bipolar and borderline personality for years any one been able to stay functunal while living with theses disorders? Keen to chat to a person that has been able to work through life

Elizabella What is wrong with me.. I have had enough of feeling like this.
  • replies: 6

Hi Everyone, I am new to this forum. Am up late as don't want to go to sleep as am worried that my councillor session I booked for tomorrow morning will not bring the results I feel I need. I have a very good life but over the last 3 years I have had... View more

Hi Everyone, I am new to this forum. Am up late as don't want to go to sleep as am worried that my councillor session I booked for tomorrow morning will not bring the results I feel I need. I have a very good life but over the last 3 years I have had some traumatic things happen. My life seems to be a constant stream of ups and downs. More downs than ups. No matter what I do I am just existing.Not living.. Today was a bad day. I have noticed I have been struggling for a while but today was the day that broke the camels back. My mother is in hospital and I am all she has. I take on a lot of responsibility and feel really helpless that I cannot fix her and I have to see her suffer. I have been getting sick very often and have been feeling under the weather the last two weeks. I struggled at work this morning, a job I used to love, and I then got a call about my mum. The last time I had a loved in a hospital they died. Something just snapped in me. I couldn't stop crying. I rang my husband and I rang my aunty and I asked her to come with me as I had to be strong for my mum but I honestly didn't feel I could do it alone. My husband is really wonderful. I called him and he was just there for me. We have been through a bit together. It has changed us but also brought us together. I feel he is also struggling. I try to talk to him and he sometimes opens up. When I picked up my Aunty I broke down even further. I couldnt stop crying and I just kept telling her how I felt etc. I felt guilty for asking her to come with me. I got extremely lost on the way to the hospital. I cannot focus or concentrate much. Find myself zoning out very quickly. Cancelled the rest of my day and after making sure mum was ok I came home. Fell asleep on the couch.. ate something.. then hubby came home. The rest of the night was good minus how I feel. I already take something for anxiety. I remember going to the doctor years ago and said I felt unwell. He said nothing was wrong and gave me a prescription. Now everytime I go to the doctor I think it is all in my head. I have put off going to the doctor too at times because of this. I am also a very good actress so I am worried that I will walk into the councillor tomorrow and be perfectly fine. I AM NOT FINE! Anyway.I just needed to say that I had an absolutely awful day and have had an awful time at late. I do tend to isolate myself.. and everything is taking a lot more effort.Thank you for listening to my rant. Any replies would be great.

Elizabella What is wrong with me.. I have had enough of feeling like this.
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone, I am new to this forum. Am up late as don't want to go to sleep as am worried that my councillor session I booked for tomorrow morning will not bring the results I feel I need. I have a very good life but over the last 3 years I have had... View more

Hi Everyone, I am new to this forum. Am up late as don't want to go to sleep as am worried that my councillor session I booked for tomorrow morning will not bring the results I feel I need. I have a very good life but over the last 3 years I have had some traumatic things happen. My life seems to be a constant stream of ups and downs.. More downs than ups. No matter what I do I am just existing.. Not living.. Today was a bad day. I have noticed I have been struggling for a while but today was the day that broke the camels back. My mother is in hospital and I am all she has. I take on a lot of responsibility and feel really helpless that I cannot fix her and I have to see her suffer. I have been getting sick very often and have been feeling under the weather the last two weeks. I struggled at work this morning, a job I used to love, and I then got a call about my mum. The last time I had a loved in a hospital they died.. something just snapped in me. I couldn't stop crying. I rang my husband and I rang my aunty and I asked her to come with me as I had to be strong for my mum but I honestly didn't feel I could do it alone. My husband is really wonderful. I called him and he was just there for me. We have been through a bit together. It has changed us but also brought us together. I feel he is also struggling. I try to talk to him and he sometimes opens up. When I picked up my Aunty I broke down even further. I couldnt stop crying and I just kept telling her how I felt etc. I felt guilty for asking her to come with me. I got extremely lost on the way to the hospital. I cannot focus or concentrate much. Find myself zoning out very quickly. Cancelled the rest of my day and after making sure mum was ok I came home. Fell asleep on the couch.. ate something.. then hubby came home. The rest of the night was good - minus how I feel. I already take something for anxiety. I remember going to the doctor years ago and said I felt unwell. He said nothing was wrong and gave me a prescription. Now everytime I go to the doctor I think it is all in my head. I have put off going to the doctor too at times because of this. I am also a very good actress so I am worried that I will walk into the councillor tomorrow and be perfectly fine. I AM NOT FINE.... Anyway.. I just needed to say that I had an absolutely awful day and have had an awful time at late. I do tend to isolate myself.. and everything is taking a lot more effort.. Thank you for listening to my 1am rant.

Durras Had Enough of Not Feeling Normal
  • replies: 23

Hi all,I want to say first of thank you to everyone for all support given to me, all your words of advice and support are so much appreciated and I know it isn't easy when your struggling in your own battles with life.Not feeling suicidal, but yes fe... View more

Hi all,I want to say first of thank you to everyone for all support given to me, all your words of advice and support are so much appreciated and I know it isn't easy when your struggling in your own battles with life.Not feeling suicidal, but yes feeling like I have had enough of being this way. Woke this morning feeling so gloomy, heavy chested, head still going like a runaway train with thoughts and can't stop it. I just want to stop it all and thinking this is how my life is suppose to be, this is it.I have put much positivity into posts for others to help but I guess like it can be so often, it is easier to give advice and support then taking it for yourself and harder to practice what your preach.Don't really know what else to say but just had enough of being this way and can't see my way out of it. Have had goals, woke the other morning feeling positive but now it has gone and think I was only dreaming or wishfully thinking but na it won't happen.Feeling guilty for not being a better person, wife, mother and feel have nothing to offer anymore and can't see it in the future also.Am going to doctors today hope he may help, but that's just it also, hate relying on meds to make me feel normal, to me it's not normal. (sorry so much negativity going on in me right now, hope that don't hurt anyone as I know meds are a positive helper but right now feeling negative about them and having to rely and depend on them.Well had enough of living this way.Durras beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Scotchfinger Is anger a problem for you?
  • replies: 26

Who me? No way. Just because I'm old and grumpy and oversensitive and get annoyed by 90% of the population 90% of the time, doesn't classify me as angry, does it? (smiley, smiley) My problem, as I'm sure it was for a lot of you, is that I didn't deal... View more

Who me? No way. Just because I'm old and grumpy and oversensitive and get annoyed by 90% of the population 90% of the time, doesn't classify me as angry, does it? (smiley, smiley) My problem, as I'm sure it was for a lot of you, is that I didn't deal with my own anger when I was young. "Anger" was seen as an emotion that could only be expressed by parents or older siblings, those in authority. Boundaries? We never heard of that word in the sixtees and seventies. Ok maybe for cricket, I admit. It didn't seem appropriate or cool for me to express annoyance, so I never did. So now I'm making up for lost time. just get angry for fun now. For nothing so I can stay in practice, in form. I heard that anger and depression are like twin brothers though. I need to work on some of my anger, mostly caused by rumination. The past seems to really influence my current happiness. I wish I could just focus on the present .

65 My mum said to me.....................
  • replies: 3

My beautiful mum died in 2008. A couple of years before that I told her I had depression and had been in a psych ward, she listened and tried to understand me, then said something to the affect..... but you're not .. ONE OF THEM ... are you ?? (shock... View more

My beautiful mum died in 2008. A couple of years before that I told her I had depression and had been in a psych ward, she listened and tried to understand me, then said something to the affect..... but you're not .. ONE OF THEM ... are you ?? (shock horror) I stretched out my arms and said.... yes mum, I AM, "one of them". Poor darling I don't think she knew what to do or say. But she and dad became very supportive. However I only ever let them visit me in a psych ward once, and that was after a very bad situation, when I had to stay in bed in the hospital for over a week. But when they visited it was just like a normal hospital visit .... sort of, well that's what it would have seemed to them anyway. Just off that note, I'd like to say that I was originally diagnosed (25 or so years ago) with having "severe depression" then about 18 mths ago I was told I had bipolar....then...last year I hear there is... bipolar one, and bipolar two....which I didn't know about before. I learn something every day.....

Aussie_Fella Bipolar-What can I do?
  • replies: 4

Hi, everything seemed to be going ok in my life until the last couple of months. I have lived a coped with anxiety for the last 7 years. Life events seem to be hard to get through. Our first child was born in July this year and even though I was anxi... View more

Hi, everything seemed to be going ok in my life until the last couple of months. I have lived a coped with anxiety for the last 7 years. Life events seem to be hard to get through. Our first child was born in July this year and even though I was anxious I found a way to get through it. Since then things have taken a nose dive. His arrival caused the usual tension in families and I fell into an argument with the in laws which I have never argued with. Two weeks later my family is turn apart when we all find out that our step father had forced himself onto our disabled sister and made her pregnant. Next day my work load doubles as I decided to take on an extra project. I coped with it all and I couldn't work out why I wasn't feeling anxious. Then it all fell apart when we decided to move house. Insomnia was the start of me crashing. Nights of no sleep drove my mind to suicidal thoughts and finally thoughts of harming my wife and son. It was then I cried out for help and ended up staying 3 weeks in a psychiatric ward. They diagnosed me with a type 2 bipolar disorder which made sense to me. I now take a antidepressant a mood stabilizer . It has been two weeks since leaving the comfort of hospital. Nothing makes sense to me a simple everyday tasks are a nightmare. My wife keeps reassuring me that things will get better. Two days ago the closest family member that I held to my heart (my grandmother) past away. I so confused I don't know if I am grieving or ignoring the fact of loosing her. I feel a peace one minute then anger and sadness the next. I don't want to get out of bed yet I do. I'm constantly stuck in making a decision and not making one. I want to have a goal to head towards but I constantly add a negative thought to it. I'm lost in darkness and fear yet I seem to enjoy the attention it brings to my negativity. Banging my head against a brick wall won't help as nothing seems to fix this up and down roller coaster ride. Has anyone lived through a similar experience or suffers with bipolar and depression and has some idea of what the way out looks like? Any help is good help!

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