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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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tlouise Broken Wings
  • replies: 8

Dear Someone, I am in recovery from anxiety and depression and my wings are broken. I often feel so overwhelmed that I feel numb. Maybe I’ve cried too much or maybe I’m still in disbelief. I have just come home from rehab and just when you think you’... View more

Dear Someone, I am in recovery from anxiety and depression and my wings are broken. I often feel so overwhelmed that I feel numb. Maybe I’ve cried too much or maybe I’m still in disbelief. I have just come home from rehab and just when you think you’ve reached rock bottom you fall a bit more. I know recovery is a long term journey. I am at the very bottom and I need support. I found out my partner had been seeing another person while I was away. I can’t even explain the pain, anger and shame I’m feeling. I can’t help but blame my own inability to control my anxiety and depression as reason to deserve this. Maybe my self esteem is that broken. Some days I can’t get out of bed and face people because everyone expects me to be “better” now I’ve been to rehab. I have my phone permanently on do not disturb because I don’t want to talk to people. How do I fix my wings?

Latrodectus91 Ignored
  • replies: 3

This is my first thread. I guess I'm just feeling like crap, because pretty much everyone I know ignores me. Not that I'd talk to them about the way I feel anyway, because it seems like they wouldn't care if I did. Don't get me wrong, I don't sit the... View more

This is my first thread. I guess I'm just feeling like crap, because pretty much everyone I know ignores me. Not that I'd talk to them about the way I feel anyway, because it seems like they wouldn't care if I did. Don't get me wrong, I don't sit there and prod people to feel sorry for me or anything. This is when I make general conversation. I'm pretty sure I haven't done anything that could justify people treating me like I don't exist. So I have this friend that I used to be really close to. We're both female. I met her in high school and she's my best friend, although considering the way she treats me, I don’t know why I call her that. We were really close in highschool, closer then I was with my own sister. She had a bad homelife or atleast that's what I gathered. She was always very secretive. Anyway, she basically lived at my house at some points. It was always a strange friendship. It was like I was always trying to gain her approval and I was like her lapdog or something. I'd do anything for her, try to protect her. I loved her so much, I just wanted her to be happy. She could be mean sometimes, insulting me in front of other people. Hell, she kicked me in the shin in front of a bunch of people once. Wow, you're thinking, why would you ever want to be near someone like that? It's hard to explain but she was really charming and intelligent as well. She made me feel loved but also like I was a walking piece of human excrement at the same time. It was weird. Over the years though we drifted appart from time to time, as you do. I got a girlfriend. Other then that though neither of our lives advanced much. She would also do this thing were she would just completely drop off the face of the earth and no one would hear from her for, damn, years even. We've been in contact allot more the last few years, usually because I push and push until she starts talking to me again. It also tends to be when she needs something, or I'll coax her by offering to share. Anyway, its gotten to the point where she's blatantly ignoring me again. My sister is also ignoring me, which is less usual. Although we don't talk much in general and she's a pretty busy person. Although, she seems to have time to post stupid things on Facebook apparently. I feel like crap. These people that I love don't even care enough to reply to a message. They don't even try to hide it. It's like they want me to know I mean nothing to them. Or they just don't care if I know...

ScottM Sadness
  • replies: 3

Where do I even start. I am sitting in a public library, and I just want to burst into tears. I haven't slept for months, and I have been unemployed for over two years, and am so lost. I am male and 35. I feel like I am treading water barely and goin... View more

Where do I even start. I am sitting in a public library, and I just want to burst into tears. I haven't slept for months, and I have been unemployed for over two years, and am so lost. I am male and 35. I feel like I am treading water barely and going no where. I can't remember the last time I smiled or even laughed at something. I finished a course in health with flying colours, but then when I started the clinical placements for the course, I very quickly realised the work wasn't for me, after wasting 12 weeks doing the study. Just another thing that I have failed at. I have no idea of what I want to do with my life professionally anymore and live with my elderly parents because I can't afford to live on my own, I have never been in a relationship as I am gay and not out. Everyone around me is kicking goals, living the prime of their lives and I just stay where I am treading water without a penny to my name. While I am not suicidal, I really am beginning to wonder what the point of living is. It's just the same cycle of getting up each morning to another day of sadness. Everyone around me is kicking goals, and living the prime of their lives while I am going no where.

Lulu1630 Overwhelmed and numb. How do you reach out?
  • replies: 3

If my loved ones were feeling so lost, overwhelmed and numb, I would hate to think they couldn't reach out to me! Yet life is TOUGH! I'm so overwhelmed that even trying to cook a stirfry (our quick and easy meal) paralyses me. I feel I can't reach ou... View more

If my loved ones were feeling so lost, overwhelmed and numb, I would hate to think they couldn't reach out to me! Yet life is TOUGH! I'm so overwhelmed that even trying to cook a stirfry (our quick and easy meal) paralyses me. I feel I can't reach out as I barely have the energy to write initially, let alone respond. How do you ask your loved ones for help? How do you move past your paralyzing moments?

Blues_hearted_Lady no self confidence
  • replies: 1

I have never been diagnosed with depression, but the older i get the worse i seem to fear everything - (im 33 for reference) i can't socialise properly, im scared of people. im terribly confused about what to do with my life because im too afraid to ... View more

I have never been diagnosed with depression, but the older i get the worse i seem to fear everything - (im 33 for reference) i can't socialise properly, im scared of people. im terribly confused about what to do with my life because im too afraid to take the plunge into something new- i can't stand up for myself in conflicted situations and always give in to keep the peace. I basically hate who i have become. My home life is unsettling. where do i go from here.

Marnz First time posting, not sure what to do
  • replies: 1

Hey everyone, This is my first time posting and I'm just asking for some advice. I left my job a little over 12 months ago, to begin a new one with a relative in their business. I thought it would be great because it's closer to home and I was promis... View more

Hey everyone, This is my first time posting and I'm just asking for some advice. I left my job a little over 12 months ago, to begin a new one with a relative in their business. I thought it would be great because it's closer to home and I was promised the flexibility as I was studying towards a degree at the time. It being a new business, it was a struggle to get it off the ground and I really struggled in that first year with being burnt out that has gradually made feelings of depression creep up on me. The job itself is very high pressure and I have been battling severe work stress for atleast a year now. I have never struggled with any feelings of depression before beginning this job, although I do struggle with social anxiety. I thought it would be easier for me this year as more people were hired to help me, but I find it isn't the case. I have been trying to sway my thoughts to the positive but it isn't working. I find myself always saying to myself that I have to just through one more day, and one more day and so on... I go to bed with anxiety about having to go to work the next day, and then wake up with anxiety about having to go to. I feel like I would rather do anything but this job. It's just not for me. I don't know what to do as I live out ofhome and have a lot of expenses that my partner cannot managed on his own and it being a relatives business I'm worried about letting them down by leaving. I feel like I am trapped which isn't making it any easier. I don't know what to do anymore...

KayStin34 Alone
  • replies: 2

I have lately been through some pretty traumatic stuff and i have not been myself, all my parents see is an ungrateful spoilt child who gets everything she wants so im apparently not entitled to feel emotion. With this in mind, i feel disconnected fr... View more

I have lately been through some pretty traumatic stuff and i have not been myself, all my parents see is an ungrateful spoilt child who gets everything she wants so im apparently not entitled to feel emotion. With this in mind, i feel disconnected from my life as though im here physically but not mentally and its scaring the crap out of me. Why do i feel completely and utterly alone all the time? or why do i feel so disconnected from the world?

Pysis Back again
  • replies: 9

So last year I had depression really bad and used these forums for support when I needed it and they really helped. I wanted and probably should of continued to post on the forums but life got to busy and I couldn’t find the time. Anyway I feel like ... View more

So last year I had depression really bad and used these forums for support when I needed it and they really helped. I wanted and probably should of continued to post on the forums but life got to busy and I couldn’t find the time. Anyway I feel like I’m depressed again and I don’t know what to do. I have a beautiful girlfriend, gorgeous puppy and good friends but I am working a job that is distroying me. I work at a camel dairy and was pretty much made assistant manager after a month of being there. I enjoy trianing and working with the camels but the hours aren’t great and I feel the camels aren’t getting the right care they need it the training that they need. My girlfriend works there as well and really doesn’t enjoy it either. Things are slowly getting worse with the camels and seeing them in pain and stressed is slowly killing me inside. I feel like I should be happy as my bosses are nice they just don’t really know what they are doing and I have an alright life at home. Becuase of the hours I’m working I don’t have time for my animals at home or any of my hobby’s or study and when I am home all I want to do is sleep. I’ve been offered a few jobs now and want to take them I just have no idea how to go about it and quit. I feel like I’m slipping mentally more and more everyday and I don’t want to get back to where I was last year, I don’t know what to do anymore.

Lizbon Chameleon/ Butterfly
  • replies: 2

People say these magic words.. It's not her fault she was "depressed" and I didn't know what I was doing... I know that I was doing things to feel alive. I know that I was having massive highs and lows. I just didn't show anyone. Seen but not heard. ... View more

People say these magic words.. It's not her fault she was "depressed" and I didn't know what I was doing... I know that I was doing things to feel alive. I know that I was having massive highs and lows. I just didn't show anyone. Seen but not heard. Smile but be unhappy. Laugh without knowing why. cry because I'm happy. LOL get that one.. freakin crazy! Argue to distract. Hide to feel safe. Don't talk to family. Have no friend only acquaintances. Love without feeling. I'm trying to stay positive now. and trying to find the right Dr to treat me. I've seen a few now and I find myself just telling them what they want to hear. I don't know why I do it. I've lied for so many years I can't be open to anyone. My husband has also turned around and said quit a few time, I don't know who you are, he thought he know me but now he feels he never did. But the bad thing is he has realized that i know him better than he thought. I play with peoples heads. Give them what they want to hear and I change my personality to suit every occasion. I scare myself with how good I'm at manipulating situations, I'm the chameleon. But also can be a social butterfly. What I need to do is STOP! Stop being someone, everyone else wants me to be and be myself. Problem... Who it that! And when I start thinking me, I hate myself. I do stupid things to remind myself that I'm worthless. That's what I will always be a disappointment, a waste of space. Hurtful to the ones I love the most. WOW the list goes on and on.. I'm ashamed of my past, and I'm never going to forgive myself for what I've done. How can one heal, if they know the person standing in the mirror is everything you despise in a person. How can one stay in the life they have, knowing that they will be trapped in a mind of a hateful person.

LilKiwiBoi Not Myself Anymore
  • replies: 1

So, at the start of Janurary 2018 I started feeling terrible. I got a massive brain fog, couldn't concentrate and at sometimes felt like I couldn't see. The range of things I've felt from Janurary to now is almost uncountable. Its effecting my job as... View more

So, at the start of Janurary 2018 I started feeling terrible. I got a massive brain fog, couldn't concentrate and at sometimes felt like I couldn't see. The range of things I've felt from Janurary to now is almost uncountable. Its effecting my job as I can't go to work without having a panic attack. In march all the brain fog and lightheadness went away. I finally started feeling normal again. In fact even now I feel normal. However I have this overall Numb feeling. Its not like my skins numb or my minds numb, It just feels down to the core that I'm Numb. Like my soul is numb or gone. I just feel empty. When ever I notice this my anxiety skyrockets and sends me straight into a panic attack. (Even writing this is spinning me into a panic attack) The numb never settles or goes away. Is this depression or am I dying? If I'm in my room alone I notice the numbness fairly often and feel uptight, however when I go to work (I work in a pub) as soon as the counter starts getting full I find myself going completely numb from my head to my toes and start falling into things in order to grab onto reality. I often end up sitting outside then getting sent home early due to my inability to work. The panic attacks end pretty quickly (A minute tops per attack) however I go into insane panic drive and throw myself around i.e running to the bathroom to suck water out of the tap or falling into things. I've been prescribed meds however I'm too scared to take the pills. I get panicky thinking about taking them. This numbness is overall ruining my quality of life, I don't feel like I'm here. I'm just kind of walking through life watching. I'm not suicidal however I am very worried about my wellbeing incase this isn't depression. I've been to several doctors all my results have come back fine. No history of family diease. My hands tremble from time to time if I'm feeling real anxious (Which is all the time) and it causes me to panic more about what if I'm dying. I'm coming here in order to try to find some common ground. because when I google this numb feeling or try to tell someone about it they all reroute it back to "Oh is it like emotional numbness?" But Its not emotional numbness, well I don't think anyway. I just feel like my body isn't my own and I panic as soon as I notice it. Should I start taking the medication? I've been to a therapist and it didn't help. I've always been very anxious but I've never felt like this. This is literally ruining my life.

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