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I think I'm depressed...
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Hi all, Raine here.
Have been struggling with my mental health for many years, and only have started seeking help mid way through last year for anxiety. I have informally been diagnosed with GAD and mild social anxiety however lately I feel like I am depressed also.
I'm in my second year at Uni studying Speech Pathology, living 6 hours away from my family and 7 hours from my boyfriend. I have quite a few friends where I am, and am living with 4 lovely people who I get along well with.
I just feel so lonely and isolated from everyone and everything. I find myself not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to talk to people. My appetite is very small and very unhealthy. I am finding that I am less interested in things I usually would be excited or happy about. I have also recently stopped seeing my psych as I didn't like her, but had only been to 3 sessions. So I should probably be looking for a new one.
I have a good relationship with my family, however they just don't quite understand, though they do try their best to support me. My boyfriend is wonderful, he puts up with my crying over the phone almost every time I talk to him and deals with my mood swings constantly. I feel so bad that I am always getting annoyed with him over the littlest things, but it's never anything I should be cranky about.
I just don't know what to do. I'm so sick of crying all the time, I find myself getting angry over the smallest things and I just can't keep control of my mental health, my mood or my life.
Any advice would be greatly helpful.
~ Raine
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Hey Raine, have to say I am somewhat concerned over the "informally" diagnoses. If you were seeing a psych, why did they not officially diagnose you? I mean you are certainly showing some symptoms of depression so i would greatly encourage you to get a new psych and start getting yourself treated again.
Although not ideal to stop seeing the psych, you deserve the best treatment you can get and one really important aspect of that is having a clinician that you get along with. You have to open up to a psych about how you are feeling and that is exceedingly difficult trying to do that with someone you are not vibing with. One avenue of finding a good one is go to the GP and ask to be referred to someone they rate.
With your diet, can you introduce a couple of items of food that are healthy? What I did when i was changing mine, was take out one type of yoghurt for another which had half the amount of sugar in it. Simple change but much healthier. Do this with a couple of items and you will find yourself eating much better.
When you go to bed tonight or tomorrow night, put all items of clothing you would use to exercise in right beside your bed. This way when you wake up in the morning, everything is there that you can just put it on and go for a run or a walk. It is to easy to stay in bed because you cannot be bothered getting ready with no motivation but having that staring at you may just give you the spark to get it done.
Really keen to hear back to see how are you are going and please get to the GP. Really important.
Mark.
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Hi Mark,
Thanks for the tips. I have been meaning to see my GP again soon so get a script refilled so I will definitely be chatting to her about changing my referral for a new psych.
I definitely need to get into better habits with my eating and exercising, hopefully some of that will fall into place after seeing my GP again.
~ Raine
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Raine, great to see that you will be speaking to the GP about it. Best step and always the first step.
Please do that as soon as you can and if you need support or similar, do not ever hesitate to drop another post and let me know how you are going.
Mark.
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Hi Mark,
I went and saw my GP today, she's lovely.
She did diagnose my both my anxiety depression, as a GAD like had previously been mentioned and currently I am falling in the severe range of the K10 scale for depression. Apparently I am currently in a Major Depressive Episode, which was kind of what I expected but a lot more severe and a bit of a hit to have it as a real thing.
We had a really good chat about the options, she has recommended me some new psychologists to try, so that I can find someone who is really beneficial to me. She has also recommended I enroll in the online Mindspot modules which I have not heard of, nor had any experience with before. This is to engage in some therapy type work between the times of finding an appropriate psych. So we'll see how that goes.
She also prescribed me some antidepressants which I will start taking tomorrow (Saturday), starting on half tablets for a week before moving up to full tablets. This is quite a daunting experience. I have never taken any antidepressants or anti anxiety medication before. So these next few weeks will be quite the rollercoaster I imagine.
The next few weeks might be a bumpy ride, but hopefully this is the start of something better.
~Raine
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Can I just say that any mention of any drug name is not permitted, but please your post does worry us and so please keep in touch with us. Geoff.
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Raine, you have taken control of your life here and that is awesome. Unfortunately so many don't take the steps that you have done and remain stagnant in their suffering so well done.
Yes getting used to medication can go a variety of ways but just be kind to yourself, eat well, get some exercise and remember what you have said there, "this is the start of something better", absolutely it is.
Well done.
Mark
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Thanks Geoff,
I wasn't aware of the rule regarding medication names so I apologise for that.
Thanks Mark for your kind words
I will definitely have to get used to medication, as it's early days still I am unsure if this one is for me but am noticing very minor changes so far as well as some side effects (mostly shakiness and restlessness) which aren't too concerning.
With any luck I will be able to find myself a psych that I click with soon and get that back underway as well.
~ Raine
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Raine, yep keep working through the side effects and dealing with each one as it arises. Try and stay away from the thoughts that "this may happen" or "that may happen". No point and a waste of mental energy - just worry about now and work on it.
All part of the journey and a good psych will be able to help you through this as well as your GP.
Good luck - hopefully you have someone real soon!
Mark
