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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Sadie31 Do antidepressants really help?
  • replies: 9

Feel down and not much motivation. Get nervous in some social situations. Was wondering would antidepressant help? Just want to feel happy again and enjoy life.

Feel down and not much motivation. Get nervous in some social situations. Was wondering would antidepressant help? Just want to feel happy again and enjoy life.

Shipsta Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain
  • replies: 15

Hello everyone, 26, Male, Adelaide, Husband, Father (of 1) The history of my relationship with depression over the past few years is up and down to say the least so I’ll try and explain it as briefly. During my early twenties I was experiencing a lot... View more

Hello everyone, 26, Male, Adelaide, Husband, Father (of 1) The history of my relationship with depression over the past few years is up and down to say the least so I’ll try and explain it as briefly. During my early twenties I was experiencing a lot of muscle pain and migraines, after seeing all sorts of practitioners the symptoms basically went undiagnosed. They were preventing me from doing what I loved most which was sport and physical exercise. When I left Uni and traveled interstate to commence full time work for the first time, I now had the money to spend to investigate these issues further. So I spent 1000’s of dollars visiting physios, osteopaths, doctors, chiros, exercise physiologists, doing training programs etc. None of these people could find a problem and the pain was becoming worse and worse and ended up being the only thing I could think of. It got to the point where I just broke down. I couldn’t think anymore, I was depressed, in pain etc. It was affecting my work, my relationship, everything. At this point I came to the conclusion that it had to be me, so in tears I sort the help of a psychologist. It was then when I realised that I was under constant stress (relationship, uni, sport, work) and was on edge all the time. From an early age, I just wanted everything to be perfect and didn't have an off switch. I was convinced that due to my personality, I just put way too much pressure on myself all the time which caused the muscle pain and now the mental problems. For the past 6 months I have been on anti-depressants, practised mindfulness meditation, adopted adaptogen herbs, exercised, maintained sleep and focussed on reducing stress. This has helped somewhat to the point I can function again, however I still go through the fight, flight and freeze response (to varying degrees) throughout a weekly period. Some days, I just can’t think and this will last for almost a week, where my productivity plummets. This used to stress me out further, however I have learned to roll with the punches more and wait for the episode to be over. As it seems the more I do this, the fewer and farther in between these episodes occur. Right now, I am going through heavy a brain freeze/fog period, so just writing this post is difficult. I could go on forever talking about this but I am coming close to the word limit, so I will stop it here for now and look forward to any responses of people going through anything similar.

spunkyturtle Feeling so trapped!! Uuggghhhhh (depression and HECS debt)
  • replies: 11

I am currently attending day therapy programs two days a week. It helps. I have had some success this year - I had $27,800 HECS debt removed and now a legal firm has agreed to help me, pro bono to take the last two Universities to the AAT for another... View more

I am currently attending day therapy programs two days a week. It helps. I have had some success this year - I had $27,800 HECS debt removed and now a legal firm has agreed to help me, pro bono to take the last two Universities to the AAT for another $16,000 HECS debt.I am just feeling so trapped, I have put on so much weight because of the meds. It really makes it hard for me to leave the house and make friends, I feel like a whale. I just stopped taking the medication two days ago and my appetite is gone, I'm not hungry at all.I am in a heap of debt, on one hand it is reducing rapidly, I am fortunate to have a DSP, then I get so frustrated because I can't move out because 85% of my income goes off the debt. With 2 days of therapy, 3 full days of TAFE is so overwhelming. I feel like by the time my finances are fixed I'll be too old to have children. Uuugggghhhhhham sick of feeling so anxious and depressed and frustrated. I'd welcome any tips or suggestions. I know there are positives and I try to focus on the positives, it's just so overwhelmingly frustrating.thanks for listening

Lifeless_life Hopeless situation
  • replies: 5

I feel trapped by my anxiety and depression on the inside I feel numb, lifeless and empty. I'm an almost 26 year old female who now lives back at home with her mum.I feel this sense of hopelessness and guilt living back at my mum's again.I feel as th... View more

I feel trapped by my anxiety and depression on the inside I feel numb, lifeless and empty. I'm an almost 26 year old female who now lives back at home with her mum.I feel this sense of hopelessness and guilt living back at my mum's again.I feel as though I'm a burden on her especially since I have my dog and cat moving in with me too.I have recently broken up with my partner of almost 9 years.The last 6 years living with him I feel as tho I have been constantly lied to about my future by my ex partner. I dropped everything and moved an hour away from my family and friends to be with him and start a future together. Now I feel like I've just lost 6 years of my life I'll never get back.I suffer from anxiety and depression have done now for almost 10 years. I'm on DSP due to my anxiety being so bad I can't work. My last and only job I ever had worked was 6 years ago in childcare I loved my job but my anxiety really affected my ability to work. It got to much so I ended up leaving also because at the time I ended up moving with my now ex partner to another town.I feel in my position now I have a very difficult future ahead of me. I'm not improving much with my mental health and feel as though I'm losing my independence.I live in an area with not a great deal of support for my mental health also. I've been waiting 3 months to see a psychologist and I still can't get an appointment made yet.I would love to start a new life again where I could meet someone who I could actually trust.As well as gaining more independence and a place of my own to live. I've always wanted children as well one day but this all seems impossible now. Without a job or the ability to go out and socialize and meet new people my life is going nowhere. I don't want to be stuck in this situation for ever.

Clare_B Work stress resulting in depression and severe anxiety
  • replies: 30

Hi I am new to posting but have been through a tough time in the last three months I have lost all confidence, and feel completely incapable of holding down a job as a result of unrealistic deadlines, lack of support from my supervisor and having my ... View more

Hi I am new to posting but have been through a tough time in the last three months I have lost all confidence, and feel completely incapable of holding down a job as a result of unrealistic deadlines, lack of support from my supervisor and having my work openly criticised in an open plan office. My emails were edited constantly and I was not allowed to send anything without the manager editing it. I was told my listening skills needed to improve and that I should never be late for meetings. If I was in back to back meetings, my young manager or supervisor would come into the meeting to tell me I was late. I am over 50 and this is the first time I have been so sick and the first time with depression and anxiety. It has resulted in nearly three months off work, unpaid and numerous trips to specialists and doctors. When i briefly returned the head of the department didn't even ask how I was. I requested another position as I said that work had made me sick and was offered another one with a supportive manager however my confidence is non existent and I am struggling to believe I am able to do any job. This has resulted in sleepless nights, panic attacks, desperation and feelings of hopelessness. I really want to work but am scared I wont be able to do the job. How do I get confidence back. I have just been signed off again, as i am so fragile every time I think about work I get into a panic. Can anyone give me any advice.

CedricT Poem
  • replies: 6

I don't know if this helps or makes things worse but I write poetry about how I am feeling. This is one: Hurt: And so it goes The story of to and fros The ups and downs Will sadden the happiest of clowns Scared of the pain You are the one left to dra... View more

I don't know if this helps or makes things worse but I write poetry about how I am feeling. This is one: Hurt: And so it goes The story of to and fros The ups and downs Will sadden the happiest of clowns Scared of the pain You are the one left to drain Each week has a new low You have become life’s little hoe Nothing inside is left to hurt Your heart torn out and stomped in the dirt The pain turns physical A razor is now seen as clinical The loss of a friend Another step closer to the end You push and mislead They want to help and do a good deed Your mind is now your worst enemy Will you ever find some form of clarity? Your hurt and scared Are you too damaged to be repaired? Allow people in please! The pain will begin to ease Dont be scared of this monster Be the hero of the story Tame the beast and learn to conquer

Guest_598 Stay or go? Life with a depressed partner
  • replies: 5

Hi All, this might sound really heartless but I am no longer sure what to do. I have been with my husband for 9 years and he has suffered from periodic depression ever since I have known him and likely before. Every year, a crisis triggered by him wo... View more

Hi All, this might sound really heartless but I am no longer sure what to do. I have been with my husband for 9 years and he has suffered from periodic depression ever since I have known him and likely before. Every year, a crisis triggered by him would spiral us down a dark hole, ending with him saying hurtful things to me, doubting the relationship and me as the right partner and, in the end, he would bring up separation or divorce. For nine years, I have accepted this behaviour and felt for him because whenever he came out of the hole, he said that this was actually not how he felt and that he could not imagine a life without me. However, it has caused me lasting pains and doubts that our relationship dynamics will ever change. Also, he is often so indifferent about everything and I am coming to a point where I wonder whether my basic needs, such as being able to share joy with a special someone, are actually met. I know this sounds quite selfish because he does nice little things for me and when we have a good time, it is great. But I feel that every year, I am happy for 50% and then, after the crisis, I start rebuilding my emotional strength again for the other 50%. And even then I have moments when I sometimes wonder whether we are just too different - or he maybe always affected by some mild depression that keeps him low, indifferent and not very passionate. He is seeing a psychologist and I have been lately, too, because we had another crisis that was very hard for me to deal with. He knows he needs the therapist's help, which is great and I am sure he is slowly making progress. But since this year, I no longer know whether I can wait that long because I assume improvement will take a long time. I am so tired and exhausted by all this and I am so sad when I look back at nine years of nice and terrible times alike. A relationship should not be THAT hard, or should it? I no longer know what to do. I love him but I feel there has been a lot of damage done and most of all, I am just not sure I can continue living my life with a person that seems never happy or satisfied for long. It is like constantly driving on a bumpy road and occasionally you get some patches of smooth ride. I feel I have given my best but I am worried that I will give my needs up for something that will never get better. Especially as he now feels a need for kids and it gets him down because I never wanted them and will not have them. So there's another reason for him to be down.

white knight Over analysing, over thinking
  • replies: 15

I'm happy to claim my depression has taken a holiday. Well I forced it to, it had no choice. Sometimes things in life need a heavy hand or out witting them. Coming up with strategies might need your own ideas as our depression is very individual. The... View more

I'm happy to claim my depression has taken a holiday. Well I forced it to, it had no choice. Sometimes things in life need a heavy hand or out witting them. Coming up with strategies might need your own ideas as our depression is very individual. There can be some similarities however- let's explore some. If you over think issues, possibilities then you might have too much free time on your hands. When I have a project (like building our caravan) that takes calculations and focus...I'm rarely dwelling on family issues or the local narcissist person in town. Distraction does work, seriously work! I used to have a large jigsaw in a spare room. Each time I dwelled on a toxic family member I'd retreat and do a dozen pieces. It worked. The saying "get a life" can be interpreted in a nasty way but as with all things in life I focus on the facts and benefits...get a life is sort of true...a sport, a hobby, a second job..its the best way to minimalise the effects some people have on us, so we can move forward from mayhem. Another saying - "dont sweat the small stuff". CEO's or owners of large companies leave the small stuff to people down the line. Federal politicians dont involve themselves with planning permits for houses, that's done by local Govt. Hence work towards filtering issues in your life to find peace away from small issues. Eg inlaws. My first marriage resulted in a few toxic inlaws that, for no clear motive, caused havic in the family. I decided, after several attempts to offer peace that "I married my wife, not her family". This new attitude resulted in my peace of mind. Those few inlaws no longer have the "feed" they needed to continue with undue criticism. As time went by they had no issues to satisfy their jealousy (which was the real issue). There is a significant percentage of narcissistic people in our world. I'd guess around 10-20%. That's a lot. You have little choice but to withdraw and minimalise your head space of them. These actions and distractions away from negative influences might result in some level of isolation. It will feel that you are building a wall of safety...well that's exactly what it is. And only allow the qualified to enter. That's your right. There is no obligation to entertain the nasty, just love the caring... TonyWK

JC_1973 Something feels wrong..
  • replies: 4

I've been on medication for quite a number of years and I recently fulfilled a new script but the chemist gave me a different brand and since then I've been feeling jittery in my body, have waves of feeling like I just can't be bothered, have trouble... View more

I've been on medication for quite a number of years and I recently fulfilled a new script but the chemist gave me a different brand and since then I've been feeling jittery in my body, have waves of feeling like I just can't be bothered, have trouble sleeping and I just don't feel like myself. I haven't changed anything else except added a fish oil tablet to my diet. Should I speak with my chemist or my doctor? The medication looks the same!

stressmeout I just need some advice
  • replies: 3

Im not even sure if this is the right place to be asking for this kind of advice, but im at the end of my tether i literally don't know where else i can turn. i figure on here there might be someone who will at the very least have a listen. Basically... View more

Im not even sure if this is the right place to be asking for this kind of advice, but im at the end of my tether i literally don't know where else i can turn. i figure on here there might be someone who will at the very least have a listen. Basically up until June, i was employed as a refrigeration apprentice in my second year. Then the company i was working for went into bankruptcy leaving me unemployed, i no shit applied for probably 50 apprenticeships just trying to find a company to take me on and let me finish my apprenticeship. being a mature apprentice at the ripe age of 24 that was alot easier said then done. So that was in June, i managed to find some part time work which has tied me over until a month ago but apparently i wasnt what they were looking for and got sacked. so essentially im absolutely ruined right now, my rent runs out this week, i have no food, i cant even put fuel in my car to go to interviews and who knows how much longer my phone is going to stay connected, and the little savings i did have are all but dried up now. I have been applying like a crazy man to try and find any work, but this close to Christmas theres just nothing where i live. Im at the point where i just want to give up, im beyond tired, the joys been gone for a while now and its just struggle after struggle. im the only one whose got my back and realize im the only one who can help myself but i wouldnt even know where to begin and am not even sure i care anymore. its like pull myself out of this hole just to work in another shitty job barely earning enough to survive anyway, whats the point. i guess the very fact im on here, tells me im not done just yet but come Thursday when i get kicked out of my house, I don't see me coming back from that and just before Christmas too. It actually makes me laugh in a way like how the heck did i get here.

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