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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Jess8078 How to support someone who doesn’t believe in support?
  • replies: 2

Hi! thank you for reading! sorry for generalising, but what do men do to feel better which is not simultaneously bad for your health (like drinking alcohol)? my husband doesn’t believe in meditation, taking a breath, going for a walk or talking to pr... View more

Hi! thank you for reading! sorry for generalising, but what do men do to feel better which is not simultaneously bad for your health (like drinking alcohol)? my husband doesn’t believe in meditation, taking a breath, going for a walk or talking to professionals. (These are things I would do if feeling blue). I have told him to take “me” time. He took a long time off work (2yrs) which I supported to reduce his stress levels, but it honestly didn’t help much. I was working full time, and was still more relaxed than him. The only time I see him fully relaxed is with a beer in his hand. Or out fishing (but that requires organisation and good weather…). any advice on how I can help him would be great. (And don’t say intimacy, well aware of that one and doing my best).

Moonbi93 How to cope after losing your job
  • replies: 4

Hi ,I was hoping someone on here might be able to help or offer some advice if you've been in a similar situation. I am 29 with depression & anxiety. I recently moved to Australia. I go through periods where it does not affect me and then I have turn... View more

Hi ,I was hoping someone on here might be able to help or offer some advice if you've been in a similar situation. I am 29 with depression & anxiety. I recently moved to Australia. I go through periods where it does not affect me and then I have turns and it consumes me. When I first moved over, I was incredibly excited to start our new life here and I quickly found a job at a company I thought would be a good fit for me. However, after the first 3 months, my manager confronted me with 'What is happening, you've lost your sparkle' this really took me aback as I had been working really hard, doing a lot of over time and trying hard to make an effort with the broader team. I did not understand where she was coming from and was deeply ashamed of myself. Anyways, from there on, work became progressively work. My manager intimidated me and I became so anxious I really struggled to perform. She micromanaged me, stood over my shoulder and would fire tens of emails over to me and snipping at me if I had completed the tasks yet. I was finding her incredibly difficult to work with and the atmosphere that she spread over the team was toxic. She would constantly call colleagues I worked closely with idiots, & one 'stupid... who can't do anything right.' I was then terrified at what she was calling me behind my back. 5 months in, I was literally shaking at my computer, there was no HR to talk to, I was too scared to tell my manager that I was depressed and anxious and that it was interfering with my day to day. I went on holiday 2 weeks and she called me at 7 before I left to say that my work had not been good enough and that I needed to return relaxed and with a new attitude. Safe to say this hung over me for the entire trip and I struggled to relax. Things were made worse as I had severe food poisoning in the last few days of and was hospitalised. My main worry was that my boss was going to kill me for not coming back as she had requested. 10 days after returning from my trip, she put a catch up in my diary for 2pm, I was told that I was not the right fit for the job, I made too many mistake, by 6 months she would expect more and that she wanted me to leave immediately and say goodbye to the team. I found this extremely humiliating, she didn't even give me an opportunity to say anything. I am now struggling with how to move forward and find new work and regain my confidence.

HarleyTheDragon Caught up on everything.
  • replies: 1

I don't know what I was dealing with, whether it's naivety, being unrealistic, or other feelings. During the past few years, I have made terrible choices and that was spending a lot of money on strip clubs just so I won't think about my ex-girlfriend... View more

I don't know what I was dealing with, whether it's naivety, being unrealistic, or other feelings. During the past few years, I have made terrible choices and that was spending a lot of money on strip clubs just so I won't think about my ex-girlfriend who fell for some guy at the internet gaming cafe in 2010. I got emotionally attached to one of the strippers whom I known since 2022 like as if she was a great friend, and now I finally learned the real truth about those "professionals" I don't know if I really want to make the pain go away. I feel I am emotionally hurt, I just unfollowed them on social media because I felt completely stupid and realize it was their job to be "kind" and "nice" when in fact most strippers are not very nice. I was careful with spending money sometimes. I don't think there is much good things for me to do other than going to internet gaming cafes, playing videogames so I decide to move on from strip clubs.

Guest_39457169 Help selling property & relocating BPD
  • replies: 1

Hi,Im in a messy situation, Ive found out last year I have BPD/ADHD which my family & Dr have held from me for atleast 5years.Im supposed to have help from NDIS which is approved I have an ineffective SC & funding was done using old reference so does... View more

Hi,Im in a messy situation, Ive found out last year I have BPD/ADHD which my family & Dr have held from me for atleast 5years.Im supposed to have help from NDIS which is approved I have an ineffective SC & funding was done using old reference so doesn't help my needs & cant see OT for a month to rectify it.I am working day & night trying to fix my house up to sell before it gets repossessed but Im not confident in making good decisions anymore so was wondering if anyone knew where I can get help with financial advising & relocating from Adelaide to Victoria?thanks

Guest_81935925 die
  • replies: 1

My bf broke up with me because he cheated on me while I was in Japan. I trusted him that he said we would be together and think VISA and future. We had been living together for one year. Idk what happened. I can't live without him. He already have ne... View more

My bf broke up with me because he cheated on me while I was in Japan. I trusted him that he said we would be together and think VISA and future. We had been living together for one year. Idk what happened. I can't live without him. He already have new woman. I tidied up my stuff from his house. I did my best to live together for our happiness. He said he was just making me happy, not for himself. he said "just happened" I'm frustrated and sad

Laura68 Tired of Stuggling
  • replies: 8

Hi. First off I never realised that such a forum existed. I have struggled with (but have just recently admitted it) to mental health problems all of my life. I have always been 'to busy' or 'don't have time' to tackle things head on. Anyway, my stor... View more

Hi. First off I never realised that such a forum existed. I have struggled with (but have just recently admitted it) to mental health problems all of my life. I have always been 'to busy' or 'don't have time' to tackle things head on. Anyway, my story is full of undiagnosed depression and anxiety. I was hospitalized last year for a suicide attempt, and that still did not wake me up. Until just recently, I have had a car accident and wrote off my car, being fired from my job, am moving house, and my anxiety levels are through the roof. I can not sleep. I self medicate with alcohol which makes everything worse. Being a single parent I am used of taking care of everyone else and putting myself last. I have taken the big step to making an Doctors appointment tomorrow as I know this can't go on. Something is going to give. I hope he listens to me and I really don't know where to start. But anyway, thoughts and comments will be greatly appreciated.

Matthew 2 Depression is madness.
  • replies: 2

Depression (to me) is akin to an unwanted guest, one in which wreaks havoc, destroys everything & then leaves as if it were never there. I’m 27 years old, yet mentally I feel 72. I’ve delt with depression almost my entire life - silently, alone, by m... View more

Depression (to me) is akin to an unwanted guest, one in which wreaks havoc, destroys everything & then leaves as if it were never there. I’m 27 years old, yet mentally I feel 72. I’ve delt with depression almost my entire life - silently, alone, by myself.. to see me in person one would think I’m the happiest person alive, as I don’t fit that stereotypical (rather demeaning) look & “vibe” of that of whom is majorly depressed. My family, my peers & so on - assume that I’m a happy go lucky, calm, all together there person… rather to the contrary. For the past three or so years, I’ve spiralled so far down into the deepest rut of depression, to the likes I’ve never experienced before. I have no explanation as to why, well there are a few things that contribute to my depression, however not really noteworthy. To be honest, I don’t even know why I’m here (again) writing this paragraph. I suppose.. well, I’ve delt with this depression, this ‘black fog’, all my life, in silence - as I feel if I were to talk to those in my life, I’d just be burdening them with my problems, when they already have problems of their own. So writing this, on here, is a way for me to talk without actually talking, if that makes any sense. I simply don’t know what to do anymore. I sit here, every afternoon, after the day is done, and do as we all do, think.. & for some, contentment comes over them at the end of the day.. I haven’t felt that sense of profound contentment for some time, so long that I’ve forgotten what it feels like. Happiness, contentment, pleasure, profound positivity.. they all elude me as if I’m the black plague. The black plague of the 21st century; Depression. I’ve forgotten what true happiness feels like, I’ve forgotten my place in life, I’ve lost myself along the way. I’m broken.. and only one person can put me back together; me, myself. But how does one, who is broken, fix themselves, for if I’m broken, I haven’t got the means to fix myself - like a painter without his brush, without his brush, how is he to fill in the gaps - how am I to fill the gaps of my sad-broken self? If I were to try, I’d fail, yet again. These days, trying to fix ones self, has become so tiresome, tedious, exhausting & irritating, that I don’t even bother. Well, I can hear my name being called, so I suppose I should go, go & pretend to be happy. I’ve become so good at pretending to be happy, that I honestly think I deserve an Oscar. Matthew James.

arka Explains it all
  • replies: 1

For about half a year, I just sort of assumed that I was going through a rough patch. That was until I realised that the “rough patch” was just an amplified extension of the past five years of my life. I’ve had phases of heightened anxiety and more m... View more

For about half a year, I just sort of assumed that I was going through a rough patch. That was until I realised that the “rough patch” was just an amplified extension of the past five years of my life. I’ve had phases of heightened anxiety and more moderate to severe depressive states, but I haven’t really recognised it as depression until now, and saying it now all just… makes sense. With changes in my life concerning family as well as more personal things (which have previously been problems in my life, but have just gotten more serious and concerning as of recently), it makes sense that I’ve been relying so much heavily on non-productive habits as a crutch to evade the responsibilities I’m still yet to adjust properly to, all because I’ve been trying to ignore the stress it brings me. It feels sort of liberating to finally put a name to the way I felt and the state of intense isolation, stress and exhaustion it forced me into for a whole half of last year, but it still doesn’t make it any better. I’m still just as sad and fed up as before don’t get me wrong. It is still reassuring to say that we’re all in this together. There’s a whole community of people dealing with similar things or a similar feeling that they can relate to, and it makes me more hopeful that we can make it past this through supporting each other

Sad57 Treatment resistant depression
  • replies: 15

This is my first post so I'll write only the basics. Over the last 10 years I've tried 15-20 different antidepressants from all categories for my: Chronic Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. As none of them worked, last year I was diagnosed with TRD. I'm s... View more

This is my first post so I'll write only the basics. Over the last 10 years I've tried 15-20 different antidepressants from all categories for my: Chronic Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. As none of them worked, last year I was diagnosed with TRD. I'm seeing my Psychiatrist and GP on the regular basis. Thanks to one "of the label" medication I am able to get uo in the morning and do some basic chores. I'm talking about 3-4 hours window. The rest of the day I spend in bed. Is there anything new in the medical field? I read about some nasal sprays which is apparently helpful but it's extremely expensive and not affordable for people like me. Any info would be much appreciated.

Speechless Agoraphobia and moved house
  • replies: 1

It’s been a little over a year since I moved. I’m embarrassed to say I’m 42 and live with my elderly parents. But one of which cannot drive and is deaf and relies on me. I believe I have had Agoraphobia most of my life since adulthood and have been a... View more

It’s been a little over a year since I moved. I’m embarrassed to say I’m 42 and live with my elderly parents. But one of which cannot drive and is deaf and relies on me. I believe I have had Agoraphobia most of my life since adulthood and have been able to get out of the traps of it a handful of times in my life, although regimented somewhat, but I would always have my ‘safety’ of home to come to. Home to me was isolated on 5 acres, surrounded by paddocks with cows or with horses. Nearest neighbour more than 100 metres away and a driveway about 200 metres. I got my stability and calmness from being outside in nature. 26 years I lived there from age 14.When I was going through trauma in my later teens, and unable to go out because my dad was always working, I regressed socially and also had social phobia. I have lived like a recluse in my safe place for my adult life - although I had a friend and would go out and at one time was working for years. In 2023, my dad declared we were selling the property within 2 months in order to invest in shares. There was no discussion. Felt terrorised for three months, never getting a break, getting rid of a lot of my beloved animals, throwing out have my belongings and all that comes with a major move. I was in acute destress but had to keep pushing myself. Looking for a house was extremely triggering for me. I’d always felt anxious around urban environments. My whole identity, values, calmness, foundation was based on home my safe place.My dad, it seemed threw out all the values we had as a family tied to where we lived, and didn’t seem to care where we moved to as long as it was in his time limit of 2 months to invest in some shares he thought was going to skyrocket. (They didn’t). There was absolutely nothing but a 3-4 listings a week of the worst kind, because it was winter.We ended up with dad deciding on a place that mum and I were ok with. For me, it was a matter of what was worse. At the end tho, it was dad’s decision. I was so mentally unwell, I should’ve been in hospital. But instead I had to help dad move entire house contents on a ute within 3 days, breaking down in my mini breaks. There was no other help. The last time we were at the place, it was morning and there was no reflection- I was told off by my parents to hurry up and leave the premises. After 26 years and no reflection.I was extremely upset but held it in. When we moved into the new house which is an old ugly 70s house, with not much of anything I’m used to, a lot of cementing in the backyard and two story houses encroaching from behind.My bedroom with cars and trucks going by often. I freaked out, it was high crippling anxiety for almost a year as well as pretty bad clinical depression. I can’t go for walks anywhere near the neighbourhood as it’s just too triggering for me and I get anxiety attacks. To make matters worse, my dad decided not to get a car for him and mum even tho they have just inherited a lot of money, because that would make their pension go down further as a car is an asset. I have been really depressed for over two years having to drive my parents all the time or letting my dad have my car. I still go out places like walkers and shops and would like to get well enough to volunteer again and so on, but driving my parents and having them in the car all the time just makes me want to give up. I feel like I’m not allowed to have independence, it’s really unfair. I am independent financially, and saved hard aging for my new car a few years ago. Then dads new car caught fire and since then, solely relies on me and my car, both parents for everywhere they go. I bought my car in hopes I could make it last as I don’t go many kms, but with my parents it’s just ruined it. I pay my car like usual petrol and upkeep, rego and all of that, but I’m taking my parents who use it all up. It went from this is my car and you have your car, to all of a sudden without discussion , that’s our family car now. Oneday, my dad went to Bunnings, took ages and came back with an interior door for the house he loaded in my car without asking. It smashed the window screen and he had to pay for it, but he constantly does things like that where I have no control. So it really makes me depressed. I guess I just wanted to get things off my chest.