I think Moving to Australia was a Bad Move for Me

[AliExpat]

I moved to Australia from the UK a year ago with my partner of 4 years. Before coming out here I was on the fence about the relationship. Now I find myself questioning it daily, I am suffering from depression big time and most of my days are filled with the dread of where my life has gone wrong.

I was dissatisfied by life in London and my career was uninteresting to me. Yet I find myself in Brisbane, living a copy and paste existence; and now after being unemployed for several months, I am considering going back into my old career. I want to work and build back my savings, but I don’t know if staying here and staying in this relationship is healthy for me?

I want to explore more of Australia as I have been so depressed I have missed opportunities to see the country, but I don’t think this move hasn't been the change of lifestyle that I wanted.

like I said earlier, being here is the same as in London in my mind. I still don't get to see the outdoors much, the daily routine is the same and I'm not interested just going to bars and cafes, and walking around city parks.

Three months ago I signed a lease with my partner for 12 months, I felt a bit pressured into it. Since then I have been unsettled by the commitment. I am filled with total anxiety over the whole thing. I miss my friends and family; I feel stuck in the relationship, and I no longer find joy in the things I used to enjoy at all.

I want to get better, but I find myself sucked down by negativity that I am just following the wrong path, one that is not my own. I also feel that I spend so much time stressed out by the relationship and having to find work that I can't work on getting better.

On top of this it bears heavily on my mind that I will have to stay at this potential job for at least a year as the past two years I have travelled and done brief stints of work here or there. As a 30yo man I feel like life is changing and my career is a train wreck and I am just now leading myself down the path which I think is wrong, but is what I beleive others to see as being right.

I have no idea what to do, I want control back in my life.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Guest_65398757, Welcome to the forums, we are so glad that you've taken a big step in sharing here. It can be really common to feel this way when living in a new country and being away from our old support system, you are definitely not alone with this. Hopefully you will soon be hearing from the lovely community members, many of whom will be able to relate to what you’ve been through. If you ever want to talk this through with one of the Beyond Blue counsellors, feel free to give us a call on 1300 22 4636, or reach out through Online Chat here. Thank you for sharing this and giving this community a chance to offer you their understanding and advice. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else. Kind regards, Sophie M

[randomxx]

Hi there op and l'm sorry to hear of the situation.

Landing yourself in Brissy , how are you finding the heat btw ? Bris and the people to are quite different to other cities as is QLD as a whole and if you had the chance, another matter l know but if, some time in Syd or Melb or some other places would be very different. Could be opportunity to workwise.

Mind you , l know at the heart of it seems to be the relationship first of all or you could just go look around more or go back to the UK l know. But that one l know is very tricky, do you love her want to marry her spend your life with her ? l think those are the first questions to yourself.

Anyway, hopefully others will come along with more to add.

Good luck with things and take care

rx

[Guest_91304255]

I came to Australia looking for more opportunities to travel... For South American people, it is a very different experience than for Europeans; we have more restrictions, and for us, it is more difficult to find a professional job (even with the language and citizenship ), but I have found myself feeling trapped here, as time goes by you realise the actual sacrifice of being an immigrant, at first the thought of adventures and opportunities keeps you going but when time goes by. You get a partner, pets, kids... you realise leaving stops being an option (it is more challenging than buying a plane ticket and bye). Your family and loved ones start to pass away, and the time you could have spent with them, you spend here doing jobs you don't like, have no future and leave you with a broken back. If you are unhappy, you also owe your partner honesty (you are wasting that person's time).