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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Earth Girl Messed up really badly
  • replies: 6

I won't be able to go completely in depth because it would take a long time, but I use to hang out with some people I went to college with, but we weren't close, they did invite me to their parties though. After a few years, I sort of outgrew the fri... View more

I won't be able to go completely in depth because it would take a long time, but I use to hang out with some people I went to college with, but we weren't close, they did invite me to their parties though. After a few years, I sort of outgrew the friendships (I thought they were still nice though) so I started distancing myself and stopped joining their parties. One day, one of the girls in the group asked me if I wanted to join her and her guy friend for a meal which I did. A day or two later, she invited me and some other people in a group chat if we wanted to see a movie and I told her that I was busy. She then sent me a message letting me know that she was there for me, but as far as our friendship went, she was taking a step back because she knew that I wanted space, which was kind of her, but I didn't know what she meant and thought that she thought that I was annoyed at her. I didn't want her to think that so I told her that I was just going through a hard time and maybe we could catch up sometime. I caught up with her and her guy friend a few times and I think this may have even gone on for about a year, but I can't remember. I was confused because part of me thought that maybe I should stay friends with them because I liked them and they were really nice, but another part of me felt we would probably be more compatible as acquaintances because I didn't feel like I could completely be myself with them, but it still would be nice to talk to them sometimes. I was worried about distancing myself again or just letting them know that I would like to be acquaintances instead because I thought it would hurt their feelings. I remembered my sister's telling me that it's okay to delete people on Facebook, so I did because I just panicked. 3-6 months later, I got a message from both of them asking me why I deleted them. I responded to the girl letting her know that I just didn't really feel a connection (I didn't know what connection meant back then) and she responded very upset, saying things like have fun. I didn't know she was saying that because she felt hurt so I was wondering why she was telling me to f off and so I was really annoyed and said wow, I don't have to be friends with you, I didn't do anything wrong. She said she didn't know what she did either and I was thinking I never said you did anything wrong, I just grew out of the friendship? She later sent me another message saying, "thanks for using me" and blocked me again. It gets worse...

Joycey83 Very low and Sad.
  • replies: 3

Hi, i am Male 42 and i have accomplished nothing in my life. I am lonely, i feel so empty. I do battle every day trying to understand why i was born into the world, i have no purpose or meaning in my life. I didn't do well at school, i had difficulty... View more

Hi, i am Male 42 and i have accomplished nothing in my life. I am lonely, i feel so empty. I do battle every day trying to understand why i was born into the world, i have no purpose or meaning in my life. I didn't do well at school, i had difficulty keeping jobs. I always thought that i was just unlucky that i wasn't smart, intelligent or skilled at anything. I never married or had children, i was hopeless at absolutely everything and i gave up so easily when things got to hard. I was always weak. I used to drive a car and 1 day i just stopped, years past and i lost a lot of confidence as a result of it. I have a lot of fears that greatly effect daily life. I've lost feeling, i have no motivation or get up and go. I hate my life, i hate who i am and what i became. I am not suicidal, i would never hurt myself but i do constantly wish for something bad to happen to me, a health condition that would end me quickly. No suffering, just instant because i have nothing in my life, nothing at all. I feel like i am in a deep, dark hole and i am trapped and there is no way out of it. Everyday is the same, i wake up every morning and look at myself in the mirror and i hate what i see. I wasn't meant for this world, i sort of knew early in my life that i was never going to amount to anything. I was addicted to video games in my youth and it destroyed me in a lot of ways, i only wish i had seen it sooner but the damage was done. I wasted so much of my life and i am paying the price for it now. If only we could turn back time, i never would have touched games knowing what they were going to do to me.

Toneman Depression through sleep issues?
  • replies: 5

I'm not sure where to start here. I've never been a fantastic sleeper - I feel that subconsiously, stress contributes to this. Around 3 weeks ago I started to get a bout of insomnia - struggling to get to sleep, stay asleep, and then stressing during... View more

I'm not sure where to start here. I've never been a fantastic sleeper - I feel that subconsiously, stress contributes to this. Around 3 weeks ago I started to get a bout of insomnia - struggling to get to sleep, stay asleep, and then stressing during the day about going to sleep at night. The last week or so, this seems to have developed into a period of depression - where I feel like I can tear up easily, and everything is an effort. I have a wonderfully supportive wife, 2 great adult aged kids (still at home), work for myself and am financially secure - so don't have anything to worry about. I don't feel like the insomnia really worries me, but worry (there's that word again) that this is contributing to my mental wellbeing. I am reluctant to talk to my GP about it, and don't feel like speaking to a professional will help (I personally don't believe in things like mindfulness etc.)Has anybody experienced this before, and found any techniques that help through self-help? Has getting back into a regular sleep pattern, relieved the depression? Having suffered from a brief period of depression around 7 or 8 years ago, that was related to employment, I recognise the symptoms, but aren't sure what to do about it.

lovablelemon Depressed Partner - treatment resistant
  • replies: 2

Hi Everyone, I'm the partner of my girlfriend of 6 years (who is also my best friend) who has been diagnosed with treament-resistant major depression. We recently moved out of home together, thinking we were both able to support a life together, afte... View more

Hi Everyone, I'm the partner of my girlfriend of 6 years (who is also my best friend) who has been diagnosed with treament-resistant major depression. We recently moved out of home together, thinking we were both able to support a life together, after having endured living apart and with difficult family home situations for 4+ years of our relationship. Unfortunately not long after moving out my partner started suffering what she says is the worst mental health downswing she's had in her adult life. She's mentioned having some before as a teenager, but this time has been so long (been majorly depressed for more than 2 years) and more difficult than ever.She had a decent chunk of savings (over 15k) before getting unwell, but almost all of this has gone toward medical expenses and rent/unpaid leave at her work which she now works at remote 2 days a week. I've really struggled watching her suffer, and feeling her push me away over these two years. During this time she's almost succeeded in ending her life twice, with also having a severe medical reaction to one of her depression medications which was also life threatening. I can't imagine how hard it's been on her. I've been feeling anxiety and hypervigilance as to me it feels like my decisions have saved her life multiple times and it's too much pressure for my conscience to bear that if something had gone even a little differently and I hadn't been hypervigilant she might be dead now. I've also been working and studying at the same time, with 50-60hr a week commitment to hopefully improve our lives. During this period I've just been feeling more and more burnt out in every sense trying to force our lives to function. Some of this was from difficult work, and also in trying to do house tasks, but most of this has shown up in me as deep emotional fatigue, trying to empathise and support her while struggling through my own immense workload. And feeling like I have no real support for this that makes a difference (even though I've started seeing a psychologist and have family for emotional support). I suppose the question I want to ask to everyone is, now that my partner has drained her emergency funds, how on earth is she supposed to look after herself, and how should I be looking after her to also protect my own/our financial futures. The amount of psychologist, dental (oh god the dental costs we can't afford), and psychiatrist bills on top of all the other mounting issues with affording general adult life seem impossible to overcome. With it being a treatment resistant (she's tried over 5 ADs at this point some of which were in an inpatient stay) there doesn't seem to be any hope on the horizon. I don't know how we're supposed to manage, especially at the start of our adult lives.So much of the time I feel like giving up, I can't imagine how she feels being the one to experience these issues in her own body and mind. I feel like I am captor to someone that doesn't want to be here (alive) or to try anymore. I've gone through so many waves of grief at her mortality and attitude toward life, it's a getting harder to still stand and try to push forward, this being even harder now that her financial resources have dwindled.I could probably fund everything she needs for her care, but she's also made clear she doesn't want to place that burden on me. I also don't know (I know this is unjustified and I feel like a horrible human being writing it) that if it came to me doing this for all her expenses, that I wouldn't resent her for the opportunity cost of our lives and financial futures. I don't want to break up with her as I care about her immensely and she would realistically have nobody to turn to. Such a large part of me is absolutely shattered that these are the decisions we've come to with all of our life potential - that we are forced indefinitely to pay into a system that admits so far it cannot help her (treatment resistant) and that I am somehow supposed to sacrifice so much of my/our financial futures for something that feels like a hopeless battle. I don't know what to do, writing this is in some ways a last resort. How are we expected to upfront these costs and live through these difficulties.I feel like it's just a waiting game before we have nothing left to return to and we both have no choice but to give up. Treatment resistant depression is horrible.

Guest_69381776 Reaching out
  • replies: 1

I am suffering feel very unmotivated No joy feel lonely no connection anywhere I do have a daughter grandkids But I don't want to burden her

I am suffering feel very unmotivated No joy feel lonely no connection anywhere I do have a daughter grandkids But I don't want to burden her

Hay85 Feeling flat
  • replies: 2

I am a married mum of two and I am just feeling so flat. Really stuck in a rut and am not finding happiness in anything at the moment. On paper everything is perfect two great kids, a supportive husband a great life. But nothing is making me happy. I... View more

I am a married mum of two and I am just feeling so flat. Really stuck in a rut and am not finding happiness in anything at the moment. On paper everything is perfect two great kids, a supportive husband a great life. But nothing is making me happy. I’m angry all the time, I’m not motivated to do anything. I just sit on my phone or watch tv. I don’t feel an attraction to my husband anymore which is putting a strain on our relationship even though he is understanding and wants to help me I can tell it’s affecting him. I want to be the best mum and wife and I just feel like I’m drowning. How do you get out of the rut?

Nightstand There’s one thing about me I’ve left out...
  • replies: 1

I've turned 22 as of the 5th of August.... And just by going by my last few posts things still are not going well for me.. I haven't been able to celebrate with the people I've wished to have... And to be honest I haven't seen that many people for a ... View more

I've turned 22 as of the 5th of August.... And just by going by my last few posts things still are not going well for me.. I haven't been able to celebrate with the people I've wished to have... And to be honest I haven't seen that many people for a couple of months now.. not in my community, people I know or for the people who'd bother to come look for me... I just want one year before I go out... where I feel truly loved, accepted and cared for all that I am.. but people have always just seen me for my surface.. no matter how much I open up for them.... I'm trans and I've been for as long as I can remember.. I've been trying for some time now.. and the only reason why I'm making my first steps is if I don't do it now.... I feel I won't be alive long enough to see this even if it's just to myself.. I'm scared that I won't have anyone to support me in all of this.........

Guest_04987375 Stumped on what to do
  • replies: 1

I have been diagnosed with bipolar effective disorder/schizoeffective disorder bipolar type. I take my medicine daily without fail. I know I’m not experiencing psychosis. I’ve been on and off depressed for the last maybe 18 months or so. I’m not sure... View more

I have been diagnosed with bipolar effective disorder/schizoeffective disorder bipolar type. I take my medicine daily without fail. I know I’m not experiencing psychosis. I’ve been on and off depressed for the last maybe 18 months or so. I’m not sure if there’s an actual problem or not or if it’s just typical bipolar. I have no strong friends or family that I can rely on. I have family and friends but not the strongest ties. I have no real career trajectory and no real way of getting a car and license. I’m here for my cats, I don’t know what I’d do without them. I can be fine one minute and not the next. I don’t know what to do or if this is just my life now. I have a plan but no intention on acting on it. I tell everyone I’m fine but never really how I truly feel. What should I do? mindfulness and all that isn’t going to help, distractions can help but they don’t change the fact I have no friends and no career trajectory.

Guest_26888292 Im ending a part of my life for him
  • replies: 1

Im getting my tubes tied and I dont want to. My boyfriend doesent want kids anymore and wants me to be pain free from my PCOS and said I need to go ahead and my my insides fixed. Meanwhile I know I want a kid but I love him so im now killing a part o... View more

Im getting my tubes tied and I dont want to. My boyfriend doesent want kids anymore and wants me to be pain free from my PCOS and said I need to go ahead and my my insides fixed. Meanwhile I know I want a kid but I love him so im now killing a part of my life to give him what he wants and make him happy. I love him and seems im willing to end my future in a big way. Does he care no his playing fortnite with his headphones on. Yet ill kill this part of me for him

Guest_51435782 I’ve ruined my wife’s life
  • replies: 1

This is hard for me to talk about I’ve never posted anything like this before. I believe I’m not a bad person I’ve never hurt anybody purposely. It would seem I make a lot of poor decisions and say bad things in the midst of an arguments these things... View more

This is hard for me to talk about I’ve never posted anything like this before. I believe I’m not a bad person I’ve never hurt anybody purposely. It would seem I make a lot of poor decisions and say bad things in the midst of an arguments these things my wife reminds me of regularly, the biggest is my mother lives with us in a separate granny flat due to my father cheating on her and she had nobody this sometimes puts a strain on things. I feel like my wife would be better off without me, I’m seriously considering running away and never coming back, she will be upset by this but she will get over it and eventually move on into a happier life I want what’s best for her I believe I owe it to her she is a good person. This may seem a little radical but I think it’s best for her.

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