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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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fred2018 Checkin in August2020
  • replies: 2

Ha I'm going to blame Covid for some of my current depression but I know its not just that. My goal this year was to find consistent work to keep depression at bay. Ha that has taken time, I at least have an interview next week. The other thing volun... View more

Ha I'm going to blame Covid for some of my current depression but I know its not just that. My goal this year was to find consistent work to keep depression at bay. Ha that has taken time, I at least have an interview next week. The other thing volunteering has been stopped due to Covid but planning to put that in somewhere in my week once I have work or maybe before it but its second priority unless there are no jobs soon. Kept busy in other ways but I just think the brain likes consistency hah and its been a bit rocky this year. Who else is dealing with a flattening depression that feels like a fog/cement? Best to all

helenalicai Early in relationship, my partner is Bipolar
  • replies: 5

Sometime around 6 months ago after two months of straight talking, I went on a first date with the most perfect man, someone who gets me on every level, wants most of the same things in life as me, but especially on major issues (we both don’t want b... View more

Sometime around 6 months ago after two months of straight talking, I went on a first date with the most perfect man, someone who gets me on every level, wants most of the same things in life as me, but especially on major issues (we both don’t want babies), we could not stop talking to each other, and we’re still like this even months into our relationship. He proposed to me 2 months in and we were in a bubble of happiness. His friends and family love me and we all get along really well. My friends who have met him love him too. Now I know from the start he was medicated for anxiety and seeing a therapist - as I also have anxiety and depression and I’m medicated and have been through therapy, this was not a red flag for me as it gave us deeper understanding and love and support for one another. The issues in our relationship started when I woke up one night and he was crying because he had drunk bottles and bottles of high percentage alcohol. I thought this was weird because nothing in my mind had triggered it. He said he couldn’t sleep so he tried getting drunk to get to sleep. Fast forward about a week later, we’re at the local pub together and this girl starts flirting with him in front of me. The worst part is he starts flirting back. Not as in making a move on her but laughing at her jokes and being open to her advances, instead of rejecting them. After this I tell him to pack his things and get out, unwilling to listen to him, because knowing cheaters in my personal life, if they do it once they’ll do it again. He was devastated and cried and begged me to forgive him. I eventually gave in and things were great for months. Once or twice a month he would binge drink heavily which concerned me but not enough to consider leaving. A week ago, he cheats on me by trying to text other woman asking them for sex and lying that he’s not engaged. I find out, I’m devastated, and he doesn’t seem to care. 12 hours later he comes to, and is devastated and is like I don’t know why I did that I don’t like anyone else i think I’m broken. We saw a psychiatrist and he diagnosed him with mild bipolar, and changed his medication warning us that his moods could change while adjusting. A few days after this, my usually beautiful, warm and affectionate fiancé tells me to pack my shit and get out. He’s now living at his friends place and has told his friends he has no desire to get back with me. I’m devastated - we both believe we’re soulmates. Is there any hope for us?

Succulent Queen Might revealing depression to co-workers/boss lead to better acceptance in the workplace?
  • replies: 5

Hi All, First time posting so hope I do this right. Here we go.. Over the years I've encountered many issues at work due to my long standing experience with depression. I have quit several roles in order to escape the judgement/stigma and my own resu... View more

Hi All, First time posting so hope I do this right. Here we go.. Over the years I've encountered many issues at work due to my long standing experience with depression. I have quit several roles in order to escape the judgement/stigma and my own resulting downward thought spiral stemming off of that judgement/stigma. In general the issues I've had are to do with building/maintaining rapport with co-workers/bosses/authority figures and an inability to make work friends or even acquaintances. I've also repeatedly experienced what I'd call a mild level of chronic bullying. The bullying was subtle but humiliating and devastating. Whilst it certainly didn't feel very subtle at the time, on reflection I can see that I blew things up to clinical proportions in my own mind. I think the bullying may have occurred as co-workers may have interpreted my aloofness/weirdness as rudeness or rejection ( have recently reflected on my own behaviours with a psychologist to consider how I may be coming across to others and the negative/unfriendly/awkward cues I might be displaying etc). There's a fair bit to the history but essentially I'm wondering if anyone has come clean, so to speak, to their employer or co-workers regarding depression. How did you go about doing this, what was the reaction from others and what was the long term result for you ie: did people leave you alone once they finally understood that you have a medical condition. I feel that to come out of the mental health closet may be the only way to make my work day emotionally manageable and continue with my right to earn an income. Just have no idea how to casually do this if it can be done. Any input is greatly appreciated. Thanks

Diamond23 Depression
  • replies: 2

Hi all.. I've been going through depression for a few weeks now and I'm not liking any of it, I've struggled at and have nobody to express my feelings to because when I do, I either get over it or just keep it bubbled up.. I hate myself for some reas... View more

Hi all.. I've been going through depression for a few weeks now and I'm not liking any of it, I've struggled at and have nobody to express my feelings to because when I do, I either get over it or just keep it bubbled up.. I hate myself for some reason and super jealous of my partner which has been hard for me to get over ever since he cheated I have no trust. I've been crying myself to sleep due to over thinking and thinking my looks are not all pretty. Some days I just want to lay in bed and cry, most days I walk around with a smile but end up hiding my tears. I need help even when I've helped a lot, I've been left in the dark with my crazy thoughts and just wanna die,just so I don't have to feel any pain....

Sars88 Trying to manage my bipolar and function with all other areas of my life
  • replies: 3

Hi , I was diagnosed with bi polar , PTSD and depression years ago.I have had depression since i was 16. However I have noticed in the last two years it is getting worst. 2018 was the year a psychiatrist diagnosed my with bipolar. So days i feel real... View more

Hi , I was diagnosed with bi polar , PTSD and depression years ago.I have had depression since i was 16. However I have noticed in the last two years it is getting worst. 2018 was the year a psychiatrist diagnosed my with bipolar. So days i feel really at peace with my self and only have certain maniac episodes. I do enjoy the maniac moments because i feel like i have so much fun . I know they are not great to have, because typically i have a massive meltdown the next few days THEY ARE THE HARDEST because all i think about is suicide. I know I wont do it, well i think i wont , but a big part of me wants to. In 2018 I lost my pop, and then last year my nan. They were practically my parents, I then had my relationship end this year after almost 3 yrs. I feel i have blocked everything out atm and feel insanely numb about everything. I have started seeking help, however I feel they just don't listen and they just want to pump more pills down my throat. I sometimes wonder if this is my life forever. That the thoughts in my head wont ever go away. I guess what I am asking is there alot of Bi polar people out there that go through the same mood swings. One day your on top of the world, the next you hate everyone and everything., does it ever get easier .. will the numbness ever fade. Do i need to see a different shrink ? what meds are other people on ? thank you .

Lost_hope The ongoing battle
  • replies: 5

Hi, I’m Russ, I have battled depression and anxiety since a teeneager and still now at the age of 41 find it hard to find a happy memory. I’ve tried many antidepressants and have had tms and currently on an antidepressant plus a benzodiazepine and mu... View more

Hi, I’m Russ, I have battled depression and anxiety since a teeneager and still now at the age of 41 find it hard to find a happy memory. I’ve tried many antidepressants and have had tms and currently on an antidepressant plus a benzodiazepine and muscle relaxer for the anxiety. I’ve tried everything in life from a extreme fitness to alcohol abuse to big holidays, expensive cars what ever I though would make me happy, I’ve had relationships but feel my inner demons end up subconsciously destroying them. I’m high functioning but dam the lows are low and harder to control especially after a recent break up. I have never written on any of these things before but I’m lost, I’m so very lost and tired of the fight and putting on the happy face. I’m afraid to die but I’m afraid not to as I believe someday it will get better but I always feel like I’m just out of reach of happiness and then it grabs me and drags me back into the abyss, and that’s a scary place cause each time the fight to get out takes a little more of your soul.

imbadwithnames Having a rough night tonight
  • replies: 4

I am currently still in hotel isolation (day 7 of 14). I did some looking for places to live tonight because my family is already making me feel like a burden and setting rediculous rules for me just so they can control me and my movements like I did... View more

I am currently still in hotel isolation (day 7 of 14). I did some looking for places to live tonight because my family is already making me feel like a burden and setting rediculous rules for me just so they can control me and my movements like I did when I was a child, and I haven't even moved in yet! I found some really cute places, so naturally I looked for jobs in those places. Nothing. Then I looked for work in the whole state. Nothing. Every single job requires experience of 2 or more years, which I don't have, plus I can't get experience because noone will hire me because I don't have experience and I get stuck in a loop. I won't be able to get a place to live without a job, even though I would only move into a place where my financial benefits from the government would easily cover it and I would be able to survive, landlords don't care about that and only look at job income, when there is none, you don't get approved which is stupid but anyway, that's an issue for another day. I hate that the world has become who do you know ratehr than actually looking at qualifications and working with people, expanding your horizons ect. I am starting to get pains in my legs from the lack of exercise and walking. I tried to do stretches today but I don't want to do too much because I don't want to disturb the person below me, and the balcony is locked so I actually can't do literally anything. I don't want to move in with my family, I still haven't got my bond back from my abusive ex-housemates (I wasn't on the lease so it should have been given back to me immediately but again, abusive. They are being difficult for the sake of being difficult), I feel tired and lonely and I just want to be able to survive without all this stress and stuff in my life. Housing is a basic human right, the fact I cannot get it even when I can afford it is a joke. I have plenty to do in isolation so its not so much that that's bothering me, I just... idk. I wish I could live and survive but I am socially autistic and struggle to make friends, therefore no connections, therefore the world tells me I'm not allowed to survive. All my friends are international and different time zones, which isn't helping. One of my closest friends has health issues and isn't online so I can't even check and see how he is. Life just sucks.

TrfrmBne My brothers lifelong severe depression & schizophrenia - just after some advice/thoughts/ideas
  • replies: 3

I’ll try to describe the situation and keep it short and concise. I apologise if I have broken any rules. My brother has been battling depression/mental health from the age of 17 (as to what I can tell). He is now 34. He was a talented, popular, life... View more

I’ll try to describe the situation and keep it short and concise. I apologise if I have broken any rules. My brother has been battling depression/mental health from the age of 17 (as to what I can tell). He is now 34. He was a talented, popular, life of the party, good looking bloke, a ‘natural’ at all board sports and a great musician. He finished high school at the age of 17 then completed a 4 year Electrical apprenticeship. Toward the end of the apprenticeship the early signs of low self esteem were beginning. Always doubting himself, asking family members if he 'was an idiot' or 'sounded like a dickhead’. He completed the apprenticeship but has not worked since the age of 21. 13 years now. Lives with my parents in the same bedroom he grew up in. He daily routine is this: sleep until 5pm, drink 1 litre of coffee, go back to his room, closed the door, closed the blinds. Once complete darkness, he takes the family dogs for a walk for 1 hour. Sometimes taking a skateboard with him. Then eats dinner that my mother cooks by himself in his room. He has a tablet with wifi. But other than that I cannot get into the room (he locks it) to see what else it in there. He never goes out in public. He rarely talks to my parents. I feel like my parents are “enabling” him to continue this down this path. They feel that he is going to “snap out of it” one day and that is all that can be done. They provide him kind of healthy food, fuel, a car and free rent. He is incredibly skinny almost malnourished. He rarely talks to me. I have been to multiple mental health facilities here in Australia over the years to see what can be done. I have been told that unless he is physically hurting himself or others there is legally nothing that I can do. I feel it has been long enough and some drastic change has to occur, eg get the men in the white coats to forcibly remove him to a mental health facitliy. Whether or not that is a good idea, I am not sure. I have been living in a different city and overseas, but try to visit as much as I can. Has anyone else been in this situation and is there anything I can do to help? Thank you in advance, I hope all is well. T

Guest8701 Lost my mum
  • replies: 2

I lost my mum a couple weeks ago to cancer and I feel like I’m slowly losing myself, she wasn’t just my mum but my best friend we done everything together and now I just feel so empty like I have a hole in my heart words can’t explain

I lost my mum a couple weeks ago to cancer and I feel like I’m slowly losing myself, she wasn’t just my mum but my best friend we done everything together and now I just feel so empty like I have a hole in my heart words can’t explain

Smiley1982 Feeling low / can’t shift this brain fog
  • replies: 5

Hi, I live in a small rural country Qld town. I’m 38 and have worked at the same job for 25 years. I don’t enjoy the job anymore. It’s not me. I don’t enjoy my fellow work colleagues company anymore, I just feel like I don’t fit in. Manager under the... View more

Hi, I live in a small rural country Qld town. I’m 38 and have worked at the same job for 25 years. I don’t enjoy the job anymore. It’s not me. I don’t enjoy my fellow work colleagues company anymore, I just feel like I don’t fit in. Manager under the boss in my office, who I work with the managers wife. She had only been there 5 years, thinks she knows everything and gets the royal treatment because of her husband being the boss. She is also very negative and only talks negative to me. She will even ignore me in the office, like I don’t exist, plus repeats everything ever I’ve says. My other work colleague has been there 20+ years and knows everything and is the centre of attention. She gets all the praise for all the effort I do behind the scenes. Plus she also tells the boss that I make mistakes all the time and am hopeless at the job. so currently the whole office gets along, except me, as I’m over the drama and being accused of doing things wrong all the time. Which I have defended in the past, but after 15 years, I would have thought I wouldn’t have had to defend the job I do, so I don’t anymore. we are currently going through a whole new workplace computer system, so all learning something new, with very little training. I’m the youngest in the office and would have thought I should be picking up, however I am not. I’m slowly losing control and hating my office job more and more every day, The boss pulled me aside on Friday and wasn’t nasty and I actually can’t remember what exactly was said, but something along the lines of - I need to be more supportive in the office of my work colleagues, as they have worked very hard and worked some very long hours to ensure the company is still running. They were asked to work longer hours - 15 hour days for the week, plus a Saturday shift as well, all overtime, they also enjoy starting work at 5am, whereas I usually start at 8 and finish at 4. I’m on salary also, where as they are on wage & overtime. I get the impression I’m getting pushed out the door. Which this is ok, as I don’t want to be there, however I would like another job to go to. During these trying times, I’m not sure it’s easy. Thank you for your time. It’s just nice to get it off my chest.

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